For a scientist (of sorts), I’m about to write something relatively brief (for me) and very unscientific. I’m about to dumb down what I believe to be the essence of creating real change (genuine forever results) and discuss one of the biggest hurdles to happiness, fulfilment, personal growth and success; the do-you-want-it-ENOUGH factor.
The very simple truth is this:
“When it comes to ‘living the dream’, many people simply don’t have the desire or the drive to do what needs to be done. And to keep doing it. And doing it. And doing it.” 
They think a lot, plan a lot, talk a lot and some of them even masquerade as experts (too many, in fact), but when all the dust has settled and the bullshit has stopped, they don’t produce results because they just don’t want it badly enough. Not because they can’t do it or they don’t have the ability, but because invariably they don’t have the same level of desire and commitment as some of their less gifted counterparts. In fact, many highly-talented people are chronic under-achievers simply because they lack the wanting-it-badly-enough mindset. The I’ll-do-whatever-it-takes gene. They are lazy, undisciplined, excuse-making, procrastinating, big-talking wannabees. Their talent is wasted and their potential never really explored or developed.
“Success has a price and some people are not prepared to cough up – they want someone, or something else, to pay it for them.”
Am I being harsh? Depends on where you sit and where you’ve been. From my experience, I’m simply sharing some truth – what I’ve seen thousands of times. And as always, you can get offended or educated. It’s a choice.
Or you can visit: tell-me-what-I-wanna-hear.com.
On the other hand, take a look at the people with less talent, less overall ability and less skill but more drive and desire – invariably they will achieve much more. Much, much more. People who want anything enough will always find a way.
“While others are making excuses, they are making it happen.”
They will deal with crap that most wouldn’t even consider, because giving up ain’t an option for them. If it’s humanly possible, they’ll get the job done. Whereas for many people their mantra is:
“If it’s comfortable, easy and not-too-inconvenient, then I’ll get it done. However, if you could do it for me, that would be even better!”
Why do you think we (we, the society) continue to spend more and more money on ‘quick fixes’ for our body, invariably with disastrous results? Because we don’t want it enough to actually do the work ourselves. The truth is that we all know how to get in shape (essentially) but it always involves a level of hard work, sweat and discipline – three things we’re allergic to. We want the results without the work, so we have become the Shortcut Society.
So, you want more from your life?
Of course you do, that’s why you’re here. Join the rather long queue on the road to self-improvement. A desire to change your life, your situation, your reality for the better makes you pretty normal. Clever even. If you’re like the majority then your typical life experience fluctuates between kinda crappy and pretty good. Occasionally great. But of course, you want more ‘great’ and less ‘crappy’. Me too.
In my job I’m always talking to people about their dreams and goals. Their plans for the future and their ‘best life’ – no major revelation there. People don’t come to see me because they want to stay where they are (in terms of their career, habits, relationships, finances, level of health and appearance). No, just like you and me, on some level they want more – whatever more personally represents for them. We all have dreams and goals and we all have a picture in our mind of where we want to ‘go’ – what we would like our life, or part thereof, to look like. It seems that we’re very effective at building our best life in our head, but out here in the real world, not so great. If only we would move from the theoretical to the practical, then we’d all be rock stars.
When we analyse the mechanics of the change process, we see that there are many ingredients in the typical ’success recipe’ – the stuff we need to make it (our dreams) happen. And most change specialists (lame-ass term I know) talk about things like planning, research, goal setting, adequate resources, time-management, intelligence, people skills, organisational skills, problem solving skills, creativity, adaptability, evaluation and re-evaluation. And yes, as a rule, they are valuable ingredients in the change process. But… are they what’s most likely to make or break you?
Nuppity Nup.
Give me a person with buckets of drive and desire over a person with talent any day. Talent doesn’t get the job done any more than owning some climbing gear means you’ll conquer Everest. You need to take that talent (or climbing gear) and use it.
The obvious truth is that we live in the information age. You and I have access to more self-help stuff (books, CD’s, DVD’s, websites, workshops, courses, specialists), than we’ve ever had. If you read all day every day, you’d never even scratch the surface of the self-help literature available to you. And if creating our best life was all about information and resources, then we would all be ‘there’. But we aren’t.
Are we?
For right now, perhaps the only question you need to really ask yourself is:
“Do I want it enough?”
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Your very best article. I re-read a couple just to make sure. My other favourite, “The Attraction of Action”. You need to post it on the front page of The Australian or The New York Times or equivalent. That would sure make a few people choke on their Weet Bix.
I am, as ever, in awe of you.
Checked out tell-me-what-I-wanna-hear.com. Guess what, nothing in Google. Looks like I will have to stick with bluntcraig.com. OUCH!!
Seriously Michelle, that was the fastest comment in history. I published this article and went to the site to proof read it and when I finished you had already read it and commented.
Freaky.
Thanks for you nice words.
A hug – ( )
Hi Shirley.
Too funny.
Looks like you’re stuck with me until someone gets that alternate site up!!
Cheers.
Character beats talent everytime.
“Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.”
Vince Lombardi
Nice post Craig.
Hi allaboutgood.
Love those Vince Lombardi gems – part coach, part philosopher.
Thanks.
Over half way through Fattitude, so many truths in it, well done for writing it.
Hi Craig~
I read your articles often, but it seems you wrote this one just for me (lol, and many, many others). I have been working toward a big goal for several months now and have a few more months to go until I am there. This post from you is making me really think and focus on whether I WANT IT ENOUGH. And yes, I do believe that I want it.
This article has given me the nudge to work harder and push myself further in order to reach that goal. I will be so disappointed in myself if I don’t make it. I know that I CAN….my ability is there, that is not the issue. The issue is….do I have the DRIVE and DESIRE to see this to the end? YES! YES! YES!
Thank you, Craig. This post just reinforces in my brain, how important this is to me!
Stef =)
Hi, Craig. This one point is the one without which all the other stuff doesn’t mean a thing. Being one who was for most of my life a dreamer and thinker and talker rather than a doer, I need to hear this over and over and over, ’til I get it internalized, so, as always, thank you. I feel really good right now because I’m living in such a way as to keep moving toward my goals. I’m working out faithfully, eating well, journalling it all, and even taking part in an eight-week challenge at my gym. Doing my best to stay proactive in working toward my goals has so far earned me a 12 lb. loss, and a really great feeling of pride in that I’m truly makings stuff happen. The only way I can keep that is to keep on working it, whether I feel like it or not! Some of the best sessions I’ve had have been when I went in and did it even though I wasnt’ in the mood. Every time it’s happened, I feel really great when I’ve finished my workout. Every time I’m tempted to get lazy, I remind myself of that. Keep on talkin’ truth! It’s good for us.
Very true here craig, and I also think that most people don’t really believe they can succeed.
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are probably right” FORD
Lisa
Hello Java.
Glad you’re enjoying it.
Cheers.
Hi Stef.
I’m happy to provide you with a nudge anytime!
Peace.
Hello ‘Jackie the Doer’.
Good for you. Keep doing what you need to do and don’t let your mind get in the way!
Keep me updated.
Hi Lisa.
Another nice quote.
Thanks for dropping by.
Craig:
This is quite an eye-opening post. It cuts through all the bulls**t we tell ourselves. It reminds me of Michael Jordan. Having grown up in Chicago and witnessing his 6 Championships, I recall something: Michael Jordan was the hardest working player on the team. Yeah, he could have told himself he was the most talented player in the NBA and skip all the team practices. In reality, Michael wanted it more so he practiced relentlessly. This work ethic translated to an ustoppable performance and 6 rings. Personally, I’ve been wanting to wake up earlier every day so that I have time for “me” before heading to work. I haven’t been able to do it. Somehow, I’ve got to get some discipline- the discipline of a Marine drill sargeant. Thanks for the great post!
Tim
Brilliant post Craig!
Hard consistent work is the only way to get stuff done lots of the time!
As my ‘getting serious about getting my **** together for at least a year in all aspects’ type ra de da is now underway, (I’m a whole 8 days in) I am certainly noticing that hard consistent work in all disciplines is the only way to make stuff happen!
Oh yeah, down 10kg from the heaviest weight I reached early Oct last year, (not a smooth loss ride, but this time I nipped it in the bud after a few days of ill discipline rather than a few months which meant if I ‘lost focus’ damage was 2 or 3kg instead of 20 plus. In the weekend shaved under the 80kg mark and feel focussed, – yay!
My challenge now is at times a pain the the butt, but can create forever change if I stay focussed.
Pip
Wow! Great posts. I am right there with everyone. Jackie from Bolder said it best for me ” Being one who was for most of my life a dreamer and thinker and talker rather than a doer, I need to hear this over and over and over, ’til I get it internalized, so, as always, thank you.”
I have had much success in my life and made huge changes but not in the area of my true passion. Lisa said it best “I also think that most people don’t really believe they can succeed.” Today I know I can succeed, because I have broken through the fear that has held me back and my drive and desire has given me a force I have never experienced before.
Once again. Thank you everyone.
Excellent post Craig. Thanks.
Jewels4ever.
Hi Craig,
You got me in one but only when it comes to me.
I have the drive to succeed at other things, in fact I won’t take no for an answer when I am on a mission.
When it comes to me and weight loss it all goes out the window because I let those other missions take priority.
One day I’ll be too old for missions and I’ll be first.
Go Pip.
Hugs
Hey Tim.
Thanks for your thoughts and for dropping by.
Cheers.
Hi J4E.
It’s good to be a dreamer AND a doer.
Peace ( )
Hi Kerry.
You need to make you a priority now.
So there.
Hugs
Good post Craig,
But I think “want to” is a symptom and not the diagnosis…
Laziness and stubbornness are all usually symptoms of a bigger problem.
Give me a person with 20 excuses of why she won’t deny herself “her favorite foods”
Or the guy who can’t manage to do exercise due to ______ (fill in the blank).
And I’ll show you someone with some serious self-esteem and confidence issues.
It’s hard enough for the common person to let down mom or dad,
or even their significant other without loads of self-hatred,
soon to be replaced with tons of rationalization.
But when there is a chance of letting down them-self,
It becomes more than they can bear.
You can’t hide from you…
You can’t rationalize that it really wasn’t what you wanted anyways…
It’s fear, plan and simple fear of failing themselves that paralyzes them.
Yeah, sure some people are lazy.
Some people are stubborn…
But most of them are so afraid of being vulnerable,
That accepting “life” (fatness, mediocrity, unhappiness, darkness, solitude,etc)
is safer than taking the risk of trying for more.
So they use laziness and stubbornness as a fortress,
It is their defense, their refuge.
Most of these people see things in extremes…
Its all or nothing with them,
And fear of failure makes them choose nothing!
Commercials show them they can loose 100lbs with this or that…
Its fool-proof, eat anything you want and loose the weight…
If they buy it then the product failed, not them…
I know I always preach small milestones,
Small goals, many goals, all the time…
I just believe that once people feel what it is like to reach a goal,
It empowers them to try for next one.
Realizing they won’t be amazing next week,
But if they are better off next week than they are today,
They are winning.
Its like a little league team or even a bigger league team,
Take the New England Patriots (no, I am not a fan) for example,
Sure, every NFL football team wants to go to the Super bowl…
But honestly, the coach only prepares for that week’s game,
Next week, he’ll begin working toward the goal of winning that game…
The Patriots used this gameplan this year and so far have been monstrously successful,
They are undefeated, a feat not seen since 1972 by the Miami Dolphins!
They are set, poised on the edge of greatness, they are going to the Super bowl!
AND if they win, they will be the only team in history to have a 16-0 season
And win the Super bowl.
The Quarterback, Tom Brady, Amazing!
10 years ago he was a junior at the University of Michigan,
He didn’t win the Heisman his senior year (most esteemed college athlete trophy)and he went into the pros as a 6th round draft pick…
Yes, every team in the US had their choice of a player 6 times before he was chosen…
But now, today, he has and is leading his team to greatness, to the hall of fame, into the history books…
and at home, is his girlfriend, Giselle Bundchen (Victoria Secret Supermodel)!
Yeah, being Tom Brady is tough,
But it didn’t happen overnight,
His amazing took 13 years,more probably…
Will he be anything less if the Patriots do not win?
Will his accomplishments be any less great?
Will he get paid less money next year…
Ahh nope!
His foot is injured today, will he give up… very doubtful.
So he will go into the most important game of his life,
knowing he cannot play his best game… but he WILL try….why?
Because he fears NOT trying more than he fears failing…
I believe that is the difference…
Some fear failure and won’t try…
Some fear not trying is failure!
()
Tami
Hi Craig,
Yeah I want this badly.
What do I want? I want to be a normal weight. 8 kg to go – 32 down. Its taken 12 years of obesity to reach this point.
Looking forward… in 2 weeks time I will be competing in the 10k Sydney Striders series. I don’t know how fast I can do it, but I am training and I sure as hell want to get sub 60! I want it badly… will let you know my time soon!
Love your words of wisdom Craig.
Stavy
Hiya – hmmm…’lazy, undisciplined, excuse-making, procrastinating, big-talking wannabees. Their talent is wasted and their potential never really explored or developed.’
Tami – you are right – the self esteem stuff is underneath this…and when you live with it as long as I did it infects you…thanks Craig for a post that reminds me of why I chose to move on from my ex and focus on me. I spent so much time being the guru of ‘tell me what I wanna hear’ for him I got very ill!
I know I want more out of life – still not entirely sure what that more is…its not a new car, house or overseas trip – its something less tangible and much more rewarding than that but labelling it is difficult. I don’t want to say happiness either because that is so cliched these days. Maybe my goal is just a better stronger healthier me…do I want it enough – hell yes! I am part way there. I have battled the depression, lost some weight, joined a gym to tone and strengthen the body, found my confidence at work, made new friends by the dozens, learned to have fun, remembered I do have a smile…and the next step is to throw off some of the guilt that seems to be holding me back at times.
Craig i love the way you remind all of us to stay on track. Its uncanny how your posts come along just as i may be about to slip off the rails!
jen from Mildura
Tam. That’s not a comment, that’s an Epistle.
Thanks
( )
Keep me posted Stavy.
Cheers and hugs.
Hi Craig,
Just thought I’d let you know. Didn’t get sub 60 for 10k. But, I came pretty bloody close! 60m and 18 seconds!!!! And it was freaking hilly (Lane Cove National Park).
So now I know how much more I need to put in to get under and I will get it next time for sure!
And I still want it!!!
Cheers,
Stav