When Opportunity Doesn’t Knock

When Opportunity Whispers

It’s my experience that opportunity rarely knocks. It might cough, whimper or look at you strangely but, as a rule, knocking ain’t really its thing. It never arrives on a silver platter with a red ribbon on it and all too often it will kick you in the guts before you realise what it is, what it could become or what it might teach you. It almost never announces itself and mostly, it avoids eye contact. Sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable or even scared. Sometimes it whispers rather than knocks. Sometimes it embarrasses you. Sometimes it hides where you least expect it and sometimes it dresses up as a problem. Or a (seemingly) meaningless event.

The Lotto Mentality

Many people waste considerable time and talent waiting for opportunity to knock. Some will wait forever. If only they (we) would start doing (using and developing their potential) and stop waiting. Which reminds me of the people who buy multiple lotto tickets every weekend hoping to win their fortune. Imagine relying on your best life to arrive courtesy of a ten-million-to-one gamble. I often wonder if it ever occurs to them that they could actually create their own fortune rather than spending their lives staring at numbers in a barrel with their fingers crossed.

Just a crazy thought.

To me, people who wait for opportunity to knock are a little like those folk who ‘hope’ they will somehow land on their feet. And not unlike the “if it’s meant to happen, it will” brigade. Good grief. What an unnecessary way to go through life; ‘hoping’ things work out. So much waiting, hoping and finger-crossing and so little getting off their arses, working through the discomfort, doing what needs to be done and taking chances.

There, I said it.

I’d prefer to build my best life rather than hope it somehow finds me.

A Parable

Five guys get called into their boss’s office at work. These five guys all earn roughly the same wage and from a practical and financial point of view, they’re all in very similar positions; not rich but not struggling either. However, the similarities end with the external stuff. Internally they’re very different people.

The boss sits his five charges down and with tears in his eyes, informs them that due to the GFC he has to let them go. He explains the predicament the company finds itself in, apologises, shakes their hands and sends them on their way to collect their personal items from their work stations.

This single event creates quite a range of responses. Some positive. Some, not so much.

Response 1. Laid-Back Larry. Larry doesn’t stress about much. On hearing the news, Larry decides his unplanned ‘holiday’ might be a perfect opportunity for a little surfing. He packs his stuff, puts his board on the roof of the car and heads down the coast for some quality time with his favourite woman: Mother Nature. He figures he’ll think about looking for a new job in a week or so. Or maybe not.

Response 2. Angry Andy. It doesn’t take much to fire Andy up. He’s already mad at his parents, God and the government. Now, he has to add his ex-employer to the list. Within minutes of hearing the news, his body has gone into stress mode and his heart rate, respiration, blood pressure and cortisol (a stress hormone) levels have all gone through the roof. Following his sacking, Andy finds a way to stay angry at the company for years. Over time, his anger will make him sick. Emotionally and physically. It will also make him socially repellant. Which will further compound his anger. And misery.

Response 3. Phil the Philosopher. Phil is a seeker, a searcher and a student of life. The world is his classroom and every day is a new lesson. Some of his colleagues think he’s a little weird but he’s actually kinda cool. He believes things happen for a reason and there’s always a lesson if he chooses to look for it. On hearing the news, Phil asks himself “I wonder what the universe is trying to teach me here?” Phil doesn’t get stressed about much. Ever. He doesn’t really see any upside to it (stress). He’s observed plenty of stress and angry people. He chooses not to be one of them. He decides that the news is an opportunity for him to be less material and to get involved in some charity work while he gains clarity about his future.

Response 4. Cam the Catastrophiser. Cam is the president of the woe-is-me club. If there’s nothing to worry about, he will create something. He is the poster boy for pessimism and the news of his sacking throws him into a downward emotional spiral. “I knew this would happen”, he tells himself. Cam spends the next four months at home feeling sorry for himself and seeking sympathy from his long-suffering family. Like Angry Andy, he’s a major pain in the arse to be around.

Response 5. Ollie the Opportunist. Ollie sees the news as something of an opportunity for change. He’s like that. He’s sees opportunities where others see problems and catastrophes. He has an ability and an attitude to ask better questions than most and is more interested in solutions than he is drama, self-pity or sympathy (unlike Andy and Cam). “How can I turn this into a positive”, he asks himself. After some contemplation time, Ollie decides it’s a great time to set up his own business. “At least I can’t get the sack if I work for me” he tells his friends. He’s now more interested in the doors he’s opening than the one that closed.

While Andy and Cam seemed determined to create their own misery, Larry saw the ‘situation’ as a good opportunity to go on a surfing sabbatical, Phil saw it as an opportunity to learn something about himself and Ollie saw it as an opportunity to move his career in a fresh direction.

The truth is that we are constantly presented with opportunities but invariably we don’t recognise them for what they are, what they could become and what they could teach us. It’s clear that some people only want an opportunity if it involves no effort, no sacrifice, no pain and no risk. Which means they don’t want an opportunity at all; they want a gift.

An opportunity is not the start and finish; it’s just the start. It’s not a solution. It’s a door for us to walk through.

This week, my challenges for you (should you choose to accept) are (1) become more aware of (and tuned in to) the opportunities which cross your path (learn to look at old things in new ways) and (2) act on those opportunities. Do something which makes you uncomfortable. Something out of character. Something you’ve avoided for too long. Get out of that holding pattern and see what happens when your commitment (to change) overrides your fear.

As you endeavour to make this shift in your world (the world on top of your shoulders and the other one), keep in mind that, more often than not, the difference between an opportunity and a problem is perception, attitude and reaction. That is, your mindset.

Create opportunities and go in search of them but whatever you do, don’t wait for them to knock.

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