‘Suck it Up’ Shirts
Before I get under way with today’s installment, it seems that our ‘Suck it up Princess’ shirts have been something of a minor hit before they’ve even gone on sale. Yesterday I was wearing one and a lady on the street asked me where I got it from and how she could get one. She had no idea who Craig Harper is or anything about his (er, my) website or gym, so I told her how she could order a shirt on-line. She thought the ‘Suck it Up’ message was one that her daughters need to read. To order your own shirt click here. Keep in mind that these all-cotton shirts are biggish in size. I normally wear an ‘XL’ but the ‘L’ I’m wearing is pretty big on me. Thanks to my boy Aaron for being our model. Is it my imagination, or does his right forearm look twice as big as his left in that photo? I just noticed that. Hmm. Freak. Anyway, on with the show….
G’day Team…
As always, I trust that you’re doing what you need to do to produce the results you want to see in your world and I also hope that you’re having some fun at the same time. If you’re not having at least a little fun, you need another plan! I’ll assume you’re not hoping, waiting or over-thinking but rather doing, creating, challenging, learning, adapting and pushing. And when appropriate, relaxing, switching off and being grateful for what you have and where you are. Gratitude is a misunderstood and under-valued component of the personal growth journey. I also trust that you’re focusing on, and investing energy into, the things you can control in your world and letting go of the things you can’t; like the events of your past.
Trapped in the Nineties
I spoke with a bloke recently who is sadly trapped in the nineties – and I’m not talking about his hair, clothes or taste in music. His wife left him eleven years ago and as I spoke with him it became very apparent that he is still totally committed to hanging on to every bit of anger, resentment, bitterness, self-pity and pain for the long term. Wow! That’s a commitment you simply don’t wanna make. He is making his own life a misery by (1) not letting go of that which makes him unhappy (2) inhabiting the past and investing his emotional energy into something that doesn’t exist any more (except in his mind) and (3) being all about the (perceived) problem not any possible solution. Everyone has moved on except him – and that makes him even grumpier. Keep in mind that things only have the meaning and the power we give them. Think about that sentence for a minute.
Make History History
Yep, you and I determine how much influence, impact and power things will have over us and ultimately we determine what those things will mean in our world. Some people will make their lives a misery by handing over way too much power and control, and giving way too much meaning or significance to certain situations, circumstances, events or even people. The only place where the past exists is in our head, so it’s important that we stop finding new and exciting ways to live there, while simultaneously missing out on the now. Many of us are emotionally and mentally trapped in our history and as a result, we don’t learn, we don’t evolve, we don’t mature, we don’t forgive and we don’t find joy, peace, happiness, fulfilment or connection in the present.
An Exercise
Your exercise for today (should you so choose to be a participator and not just a reader) is to find a quiet place – no distractions at all – and spend five to fifteen minutes honestly, humbly and privately considering (1) whether or not the above message is relevant to you and how (2) what you might need to change in your world (3) what you need to let go of right now and (4) how you’re going to create lasting change in this area of your life.
As always, let me know your thoughts, say hi, send a little cyber-love or share a (brief) story. If you’re not sure how to leave a comment, click here.
Ciao x
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{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
I love the logo. Now that’s my kind of t-shirt. LOL!!
Lia Halsall
)
http://www.liahalsall.com
So when is the “Toughen the f… up” T-shirt coming out.
Seriously I fully agree about leaving history as history. I may have left the following in a previous comment of mine but it bears repeating – unless one can ring up Doc Brown and Marty McFly for a loan of the Delorean – no-one can physically change one’s past. It all comes down to the power that one gives to past events. Dwelling on the past will only ever buy one a one-way ticket to bummedsoutville.
Leaving the past in the past is something that I’ve worked hard at and it has immeasurably improved my life. There are some valuable lessons to be learned from one’s history, but a one person pity party is a ticket to an unhappy life combined with an early grave.
The following may come across as overly harsh, but if one has some very unhappy history tied up with one’s family, one has to cut their losses and cease contact with the source(s) of the sour history. This may be overly personal but I haven’t spoken to my stepfather for over four years – the last time I spoke to him was 4 days after my mother’s cremation – they had been apart for well over a decade and they both still had plenty of hate for each other – their dysfunctional relationship was a rotten history that still fueled them. The last thing that my stepfather said to me was – “Meeting your and your mother was the worst motherf…..ng thing in my life.” (My mother and stepfather were first together when I was four years of age and they separated just after 2 decades together). Fortunately I had let go of my past several years before for mother’s passing and this comment finally made me decide that my past with my stepfather was well and truly in the past and that there was no present or future with him. The valuable lesson that I’ve taken from my history with my stepfather is that being continually angry and critical and rare to praise is not the way that I want to be a father.
I hope this hasn’t been too confrontational for anyone else who reads this but it is the best illustration I have for letting history be history.
Next time round I’ll try and lighten it up some.
Cheers
P.S. I’m listening to SEN as I’m writing my comment – the PT putting on the weight on, is on.
Hi Craig,
Firstly…woohoo how cool am I going to look walking the streets of Rowville with “suck it up princess” plastered across my chest!!! Just purchased the fabbo tshirt!!
Ok…back to the post! I did a lot of this a few years ago when I finally decided that my marriage breakup and subsequent divorce needed to be history. Once I decided that a huge emotional weight lifted from my shoulders and I immediately felt heaps better. It was dragging me down and I was stuck in a rut and no good to anyone. I did it again when I lost my job late ’07. It has made me feel a much better person and mother as a result. People are happier to be with me and I am happier as well.
Hugs
Chelle xxx
something happened to me yesterday —mmm haven’t experienced that for about 2 years. i consider my bags are relatively light, however this ‘thing’ had an effect on me, and i intend to sit with it – and reflect why such an impact. Was there an eclipse i didnt know about??? Thanks Craig -
PS – Loved your blog about treading water with dumbbells. Conducted a session for 40 or so A grade soccer players on Monday night. Ah the cross training in water was great for them…they are coming back!
JSP -AquaGuru
Am VERY pleased to say that, after quiet reflection, this post doesn’t apply that much to me. Yay! I’ve become quite good at letting go of the past … can’t change it, so couldn’t be bothered fussing over it.
We’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t, and I certainly haven’t controlled a lot of my past .. but it’s provided me with experiences I never thought I’d have (living in a foreign country as well as several cities in Australia, getting married .. and ending it, taking up a martial art and winning medals at a national level) .. and even including all the things that weren’t so great, it’s all brought me to where I am RIGHT NOW. And I wouldn’t want to change that.
Regret is not an emotion that I choose to live with. However, it is probably one of my greatest fears. Not regretting what I’ve done, but regretting not taking up opportunities when they present themselves. Living with that thought of “what if”. So I choose to not be there. I will do things on a gut instinct and live with the consequences. I will feel my fear and intrepidation .. and do it anyway. It’s only life. And to pinch a saying that I heard here – a Craigism? – I don’t plan on dying with my music still in me.
PS. I was accepted into the assistant karate instructor programme .. yay! Very excited here. Oh, and Craig .. it’s probably a tad rude to pick on Aaron and call him names when he’s been nice enough to model your shirt for you!
Hi Craig,
“Things without all remedy
Should be without regard:
what’s done, is done.”
Macbeth Act 3, scene 2, 8–12
I decided to drop my middle-child baggage a few years ago (I’m the Jan Brady of my family)and I’ve felt much lighter since. Yay!
Have a wonderful day tomorrow.
EG xxx
ps: Jules – I’ve booked the same flights as Sue J. RYL here we come!
Sue J – congratulations on the karate instructor thingy – well done!
Labas, Craig
Great stuff. How are you doing? Pretty busy as always?
Best,
Saulius
Had you in mind Lia…. ( )
Hey Ben
I appreciate you sharing that story. I wish more men would be as emotionally evolved and willing-to-share as you.
Thanks.
Your Welcome Anon…
( )
Good work JSP – nice to hear from you ( )
Hi Sue… thanks for sharing and I think it’s very fair to be on Aaron. Men love that. It’s how we show affection.
( )
Gotta say EQ, a quote from Macbeth is a first here at me-dot-com.
Nice work.
( )
Labas Saulius.
I’ve missed you Bud.
Yeah, I’m busy but having fun.
( )
Hey Craig
your comment about the guy living in the 90s really hit home for me. I had (past tense) this best buddy. We became friends in 1969. Her husband left her in 1988.
Even though she said she didn’t love him and didn’t care, in 2006 she was still bitching and carping about him.
In an effort to get her to “suck it up princess” I googled him, and when she made her usual comment wondering what he was up to, I told her.
We haven’t spoken since. A 13 year marriage which had been over for 18 years was more important to her than a 37 year friendship. Needless to say, I am bettr off without her.
Hi Craig,
It is very debilitating hanging on to grievences with an ex. I spent a long time doing just that. It is like being inside a building being fumegated. However, when you emerge from the toxic smoke you really do have (for me anyway) have a new respect for love and life. I did not think I could be as in love with my now wife like I am. That I was damaged goods & would be of no value to any one. My wife really loves me for me and that has been a breath of very fresh air. Married 6 years this year and growing stronger day by day.
I tell this story only because I feel I owe a commitment to other men who society often does not listen to. The HTFU you know what it means
philosophy sometimes requires some soul searching tears and ditching of tht baggage you so aptly discribed. If you are going to HTFU do it right, do it proudly & most of all do it for yourself.
Hi Featherfour
Wow.
( )
Hi Michael – I’m loving the fact that we’ve finally got some blokes sharing and opening up – thanks Buddy.
Thanks for your honesty and humility, it’s refreshing.
Cheers.
Craig – beating on each other is how men show affection, eh? Great to see that you’ve all developed SO MUCH from the primary school playground .. makes me very proud! Freaks.
Oh, and we ALL wish more men would be as emotionally evolved and willing-to-share as Ben and Michael .. and you, of course!
Dear Mr Harper
Hello there
Great post.
Thank you, enjoy yourself
It’s true — once you find the courage to let go of something – to decide to not let it hurt you anymore, you gain an inexplicable freedom. So don’t always “suck it up”, sometimes just let it out and let it go.
“Past and future have no reality of their own. Just as the moon has no light of its own, but can only reflect the light of the sun, so are past and future pale reflections of the light, power, and reality of the eternal present.” – Buddha
Yes Sue – it’s an indicator of our dysfunction and our affection. But maybe that’s just me.
Sigh.
Hi Anon 1
thanks for sharing… ( )
Hi Craig,
I accept your task, but there is something I want to let go of in my present.
I have a deep, fierce, overwhelming, poisoning hatred for my house … gotta let that go! After all, if I was homeless my little shack would probably be a palace!
Yet another work in progress … wow I’m stretched pretty thin here (if only I was stretched thin!!!)
Em
( )
Hi Craig,
I must say that for the past 2 years of reading your blog, i can honestly say that I leave the past where it belongs… behind me. But I do that after I have made sure I learnt the lesson i was supposed to from the experiences I have, be it good or bad. I’d rather carry hand weights than baggage.
I just bought 2 shirts, one as a pressie for my cousin who I have convinced to come to the gym and do some kickboxing with me… it will be a laugh wearing them at the training sessions with macho kickboxers.. I am sure they will have a laugh… if not… I will…
Have an amazing day.
Cheers,
Asma
Hi Anon – nice quote.
Ta
( )
Hi Em
Let it go Baby!!!
( )
Hi Asma – I’m sure you’ll look HOT in your new shirt! Just don’t intimidate the boys…
( )
Good Morning Craig,
Your timing is always spot on with your articles I tell ya,
I was contacted yesterday via Facebook by a girl I was friends with in School, this girl made my life a living hell, bullied me, beat me up, put me down etc, she had a major impact on some of my problems I have had as an adult.
So I had a choice I could let this person back into my life and have my say tell her how it is blah blah blah rant rant spew forth old pain etc or I can leave the past where it is and ignore her friend request on facebook.
My choice – leave the past where it is, just hit ignore request.
Its a choice which wolf will you feed the positive or the negative, which ever you choose will grow strong.
Love Mel
Dear Mr H I have asked nicely for you to remove the CTV camera from my life to no avail. Hmm another strangely timely post given my conversation with child support yesterday resulted in being told ‘dont worry once your youngest turns 18 your ex will prob do a tax return’ Hmm my youngest is 7. and yes spent another night on the old bitter and twisted train. will make sure i do the 15 minutes and see where that gets me. Ben – beautiful story and yes i think it was a good move removing that negativity from your life. quite an exceptional group here. hellenx
Hi Mel
Good choice.
Enjoy your day ( )
Hi Hellen
Do I have to remove it? But your life is so interesting and where will I find my inspiration?
x
Hi Craig,
The shirts are way cool – I’ve been online and bought two – one for me and one for my hubby (won’t be wearing them at the same time though – we just can’t bring ourselves to have his and hers matching outfits!)
After throwing my own little pity party in my post the other day about nothing changing and not being able to lose weight, etc., I’ve increased my effort at the gym and reassessed my diet to see if I can force my body into changing. In the past when I got to this stage I’d throw in the towel and try to convince myself that obviously this is the way I’m meant to be and that I should accept that I’m just a bigger girl – that would work for me for a couple of weeks (or until I had to buy some new clothes and end up in tears in the change rooms once again), then it was back into the gym vowing to get fit and lose the weight … see a pattern?! Hopefully I’ve broken the cycle this time so that I can achieve one of the goals I set on the commitment wall!
Re Exercise for today – homework completed!
Hugs – Nell xxx
This is a first for me – 2 comments on the 1 post.
Thanks for the kind words about my previous comment.
As I was wandering off to buy some lunch, it occurred to me that one also has history that is positive and worth dwelling on.
This was prompted by the faded two dollar coins I used to pay for my lunch. When the two dollar coin was first introduced I was working as a busboy at a nightclub. The worst part of the job was carrying a bucket and weaving through the sozzled punters picking up empty bottles, cans and glasses. The two dollar coin was a ripper because the really drunk punters would drop their change on the floor and not worry abut it because they couldn't tell what coins they had dropped (at this time the 1 & 2 cent coins were still in circulation). Myself and a few of the other busboys used to play a game to see who had picked up the most coins by the end of the night. There were three other busboys that I was really tight mates with and even though I haven't seem them for nearly two decades, thinking about some of the stuff we used to get up to always brings a smile to my face.
I guess it comes down to if life – and one's histor y- gives you lemons, does one make a freshing lemonade or does one just suck on the sour lemon segments.
Cheers
Hi Nell. Nice shopping but good call about avoiding the matching outfits. Although I would like a ‘team Nell and hubby’ photo!
( )
Nice story and good question Ben.
Cheers….
LOL – I’ll see what I can do about the photo Craig
( )
aloha craig,
when your t-shirts are fabulously successful and you need to do another print run, do you reckon you could make a girly size and shape? i don’t wear sacks anymore!
ta
miss jojo
Okay Nell. ( )
Yes I agree, girly size and shape needed, especially the shape.
Love Mel
Hi Missjojo
We’re exploring the singlet or girly shirt thing but trying to find ONE singlet or shirt style/design/shape/cut that the majority of women are happy with!
Well… you know.
Sigh. I’m not THAT good~!
( )
yeah I know we’re hard to please…… should it contain lycra or be 100% cotton? (cos cotton loses shape, if there’s too much lycra it sticks too much to the body and unless you have no fat whatsover on your tummy it’s unflattering… should the length be to the waist, hips or longer?
ok you rest your case and you didn’t even need to make it. I can always get my trusty sewing machine out and alter one so it fits
miss jojo
Hey Craigo – about those t-shirts … are you just doing one print run (first in, best dressed – literally), or will they continually be available now?
Hey Craig.. what does the fine print on the shirt say??
Hey CH….
It’s been a while! Thought I’d say HI!!!
Hope you’re fab.
See you soon.
KK
XXX
Hey there Craig,
The thing that stayed with me most from your comments today were “Gratitude is a misunderstood and under-valued component of the personal growth journey.” I am really starting to understand the value of this and it seems the more I find to be grateful for in my life, the more great things seem to come my way.
And honey, thanks for being such a great support on this journey through life. Your words always seem to be there when I need a little help, or just a reminder to “suck it up”
Enjoy your night.
Nycole
Hey Craig ! Just putting in my two cents about the shirts too… I bet the small size in this style would come down to my knees… being the 152cm Amazon that I am ! As for fabric, I just bought a bamboo t-shirt and it’s absolutely beautiful to wear. Not the least bit “clingy” in the heat and very absorbent, so I would think it would be ideal for working out. Food for thought !
{{HUG}} Tina
Watching TV last night and someone quoted the following:
“It’s not what you carry with you but what you let go that defines who you are.”
It matched what we were discussing here perfectly, although I’m not sure I necessarily agree with it. Not in it’s purest form, anyway. Then again, you can put a different spin on any example. Obviously, this has given me some food for thought! Maybe it will do the same for you.
Cool Post. Greed is a form on fear of scarcity.
Baker
Hi Craig,
Great blog – very relevant.
On facebook recently, an old friend posted hundreds of pictures from 20 years ago. pictures of everyone we knew as kids. I found myself gazing through these photos of yesteryear for hours! Friends were emailing and commenting (as was I) on how much fun it was and how nice to remember etc etc.
It’s really easy to get stuck as an adult in the whole ‘wasn’t it great back then as a kid’ rut!
It’s especially easy if we happen to be having a rough time of it at the moment. It’s good to look and remember the past, but can cause problems moving forward if we spend too much time looking in the wrong direction!
I dare say that in twenty years time, we’ll be looking back at photos of 2009 and feeling exactly the same way.
All the best,
Sheldon