We know that our decisions determine our behaviours, which in turn determine what kind of results we’re producing in our world. We also know that when it comes to addressing the big stuff in our life, sometimes we’d rather not make a decision, than make one. Making a (significant) decision often means dealing with those things which will make us uncomfortable, fearful and/or vulnerable; all the things we do our best to avoid. This can be something of a dilemma because on the one hand, we want to produce amazing results in our world but at the same time, we tend to gravitate towards familiarity, comfort and safety – all the things that don’t produce positive change and aren’t consistent with personal growth.
Choosing not to Choose
The simple truth is that by not making a decision, we are making a decision. We are choosing to do nothing. Choosing to put our head in the sand. Choosing to live a reactive rather than proactive existence. People who don’t make decisions until they are forced to (via a situation, circumstance or event) have chosen (consciously or not) to live a reactive life. And a reactive life is like a ship without a rudder. Floating but not steering. Not consciously or proactively moving towards a destination. Just being pushed and shoved by its environment. And eventually, crashing on the rocks and sinking.
Any Moment Now…
Of course, we’re always about to make some kind of reality-altering decision. Always at the threshold of something spectacular… but incredibly, it’s never today. Because for some mysterious reason, now is never the right time. Sure we plan a lot and talk a lot, but so many of us rarely deliver. I know people who have almost been doing things for years. Decades even. You know them too. You might even be them. Almost getting in shape. Almost starting a business. Almost dealing with their addiction. Almost fixing their damaged relationships. Almost taking control of their life… and almost using their potential.
Scaredy Cats
The truth is that many of us spend much of our lives not making the decisions we could and should because on some level, the practical reality and the potential short-term consequences of those decisions scare us. Most long-term gain involves a little short term pain and we are scaredy cats. Yes, there are better and worse times to confront and deal with issues in our life (and make decisions about them) but so often we go for the less intelligent option. The less intelligent option usually being what makes us comfortable. Comfortable… for the time being anyway.
Strawberry Jam Thanks
Unfortunately our propensity to live in the moment and not make decisions to shape our future is what keeps us stagnant, frustrated and under-achieving in the long term. When it comes to the incidental, day-to-day stuff.. we’re great at making decisions. “I think I’ll wear the blue socks today… and I might just have some toast with jam for breakfast…” Thrill seeker. Crazy kid. But when it comes to the stuff that shapes our life, we’re crap (sometimes at least).
So my questions for you on this Monday are…
1. What decision/s do you need to make today?
2. When will you stop waiting for the mystical, magical (fictional) ‘right time’ to do what you should have done long ago?
3. When will you start living a proactive rather than reactive life?
And remember… by not making a decision today you are making a decision.
Did I push a button?
Have a great week kids, make some decisions and click on the comment thingy to share your thoughts or just say hi.
Ciao x
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
You pushed a button alright!
Ok lets start this again.
Hello CH
The funny thing is, when I read “Thoughts about Thoughts-part two”, I didnt comment, I needed to think about it AND I kept thinking about No 7.
Its haunting me!!
I know, Ive over reacted – again
Its still Sunday, and I can start fresh tomorrow on Monday
Have a brilliant week – I know I will
TG
… and often it happens that we think NOW we are making a decision, but what we actually do is choosing from a well known behavioral pattern from our past. I think that the real decisions – the ones we hopefully stick to – are those that involve something new, exciting, maybe a little scary too – but something that we haven’t tried in the past (and maybe failed with previously…)
What do you guys think?
Cheers from Oslo,
Mia
I had already planned to take my first step today towards getting my life back to some sense of organised kaos when I logged on and read your post.
THANK YOU…..THANK YOU…..THANK YOU
This will ensure that today is a proactive day instead of a reactive day. One step at a time in the right direction and I’m sure I will get there, with a little help from time to time.
Kindest regards,
Lia Halsall
http://www.liahalsall.com
Yes you pushed my buttons, all of them. Thanks. I think.
Kaz
Craig, you didnt just push a button you smacked me right on the forehead today! Thankyou so much, I always love reading your posts and often they strike a chord with me, especially today when I know I need to make a long awaited decision regarding my current job, but have just been playing it safe and staying put. The sky is the limit!
Nice one Mr. Harper,
Just picking Uni courses for the year to come… so thanks!
I was one of those who for years was always “a fixin’ to” do this, that, or the other. My fear and perfectionism held me back. The result was, I rarely did anything significant.
I now have a new motto: Do something, even if it’s wrong.
Nobody’s perfect, why should I expect myself to be?
Duane
Oh Craig, once again you have pushed my buttons – I always read your blog just at that right time….. Fence sitter that I sometimes can be! Thank you so much for your lovely honest refreshing words.
The blog of the year award goes to none other than you!!!