The Change Myth

A quick update before today’s post…

A change of date for our Melbourne get-together:

Sorry guys but we’ve had to change our date for our Melbourne get-together. It will be the same time of day and the same place but one week later. We’d love to see heaps of you there for a coffee, some laughs and a chat with Baldy and I. Details are as follows:

When: Saturday June 14, 11.00am

Where: Sarands Restaurant, 532 Hampton Street, Hampton. Ph: 03 95988944

Hope to see you there.

Shove with Love Project.

Is it my imagination or did a whole bunch of people drop out in week one?!! Just asking.

On with today’s post…

The Change Myth

The Myth: Creating positive change in our world is largely about finding the right resource or mechanism; be that a program, a course, workshop, book, guru, teacher, diet, equipment, workout, pill or something else.

The Truth: Creating positive change in our world is primarily about finding the right mindset. Our mindset determines (1) what we do, (2) what decisions we make (3) how we react and (4) how we deal with challenges and adversity – which in turns dictates (5) what kinds of results we produce in our life (whether we create positive change, stay the same or go backwards).

Masters of Repetition

While we all seek positive change in our world (which of course is represented by different things for different people), the truth is that the majority of us tend to inhabit, or end up back in, the same place. Practically, emotionally, physically, professionally and psychologically, many of us are human statues; living life in a perpetual holding pattern. Week after week, month after month, year after frustrating year. Good intentions, lots of potential, plenty of talk, lots of reading… along with lots of predictable behaviours and very little change. Masters of repetition. Wanting different but doing… the same.

We’ve all heard many times that:

“Insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome”

Well that isn’t just some clever saying, it’s an extremely insightful observation and comment on how some of us live. Too many of us are perpetually doing the same, while hoping for different outcomes – that is nuts! This is not some random theory; it’s a fact Jack. Just take a look around. Or in the mirror perhaps.

Stop looking for a saviour, a guru, a miracle cure or a quick fix.

This is such a disempowering mindset to inhabit but sadly, many people live there – always looking for someone or something to fix them or save them. A pill, a powder, a program, a potion, a product, a guru, a book, a workshop… or my personal favourite; the latest breakthrough. They’re always good – I love a good breakthrough. Every day (somewhere in the world) there’s another new amazing, never-seen-before miracle cure/solution to all of our woes. If only we would stop looking for answers where they ain’t and start focusing our energy in the right place.

The problem and the solution

Even though you may be a big part of the problem, you’re also the solution. In some ways you are your only hope because ultimately you, and only you, determine what happens (and doesn’t happen) in your life. Sounds scary I know, but it doesn’t need to be – it can actually be quite liberating when you truly understand what that truth can mean to you. I know you probably don’t feel like you’re the answer to your problems at times, but that’s part of your problem; you don’t know what you can do because you’ve never really explored your potential and maybe you’ve never been encouraged and supported as you should be. Well, I don’t know you (personally) but I want to encourage you today. You (yep, you) are an infinitely gifted and talented individual who has probably talked yourself into mediocre (or worse) for much of your life. Perhaps it’s time for you to stop compromising yourself, stop wasting your talent, stop listening to the negativity and to step up to your best life. Finally. It’s sad that so many of us aren’t encouraged and supported as we should be, but don’t use that as yet another reason for you to under-achieve or live anything less than your best life. Self-pity is pointless and ultimately makes that hole even deeper. While others find another excuse, you find a way.

Feelings; the off-switch to our potential

If you’re like many then you’ve thought about it, spoken about it but never actually done it (for longer than a few weeks or months). Everything you need to create different results in your life, you have right now. Can you make a new decision? Can you do different things? Can you react differently? If you answered yes to those questions then you can create change. Lasting change. I’m not asking “will you?” or “have you?”, no, I’m asking “can you?” And the answer to that is “absolutely yes”. Don’t be like the unfulfilled masses who constantly let their feelings get in the way of their potential. More often than not our feelings are a road block to greatness; the off-switch to our potential.

The past doesn’t (need to) equal the future.

Just because you haven’t done something doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means you haven’t done it yet. Even though I have a pretty good understanding of the mechanics and psychology of behavioural change and vast experience poking, prodding and pushing people towards their best life, the truth is, I’ve never changed one person. Not one. Sure I encourage, educate, motivate and occasionally slap, but ultimately I don’ t change anybody – they do it themselves. I help people towards change but I don’t actually do any of the changing for them. I (or any other motivator, coach or teacher for that matter) am not the answer. If people think I’m the answer, then I’m sending out the wrong message. The purpose of any responsible teacher or coach is to empower others to greatness, not to create a fan club or a dependency problem.

He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy (apologies to you confused non-Monty Python folk).

All I am is a resource in the change process and how valuable I will be to anyone who reads or hears me depends on what those people do (or don’t do) with what I teach you. If (for example) Tony Robbins (the highest paid motivator on the planet) was the answer, all anyone would have to do would be turn up to the big man’s seminar, listen to him and walk out a different person. Maybe that happens sometimes but when it does, Big Tone ain’t the reason – he’s the catalyst. Yes, he’s an amazing, talented and gifted teacher but he doesn’t change people. The only person he can change is himself. Same with me. Same with you. It’s the individual who brings about the change. It’s the individual who follows through while others give up. It’s the individual who uses and applies the information consistently. It’s the individual who stops making excuses and steps up to personal responsibility and accountability.

All the personal development resources in the world can’t change one person. It ain’t about the book, the program, the workshop, the website or the teacher – it’s about you. Resources are handy but they don’t create change – people do.

We all know people who have been exposed to the most amazing, inspirational, insightful and relevant information only to walk away from that experience and step straight back into those same old destructive behaviours and habits. We’ve all seen it. Done it. Success or failure always comes back to us personally. In my experience, the difference between change and stagnation isn’t usually about ability, potential, resources or even education; it mostly comes down to the ‘enough factor’. When someone wants something enough, they’ll find a way and they’ll make it happen. The right resources are handy but the right mindset is invaluable.

I want it enough. I hope you do too.

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