Teachability

The one thing we all have in common (frequenters of this site anyway) is our desire to improve ourselves in some way; the drive to create a better version of us. That’s why we’re here. Could be to change our relationships, our financial status, our skill level, our knowledge base, our health, our attitude, our crappy habits or our life (in general terms) for the better. Whatever ‘better’ means to each of us personally.

At a glance, we would be forgiven for thinking that whether or not an individual will or won’t achieve that goal (of creating a new-and-improved version of him/herself) would be dependant on things like:

1. Whether or not they have the potential for real change?

2. Whether or not they have adequate knowledge and access to relevant information?

3. Whether or not they have the resources to do what needs to be done?

4. Whether or not they have access to teachers, mentors and role models?

5. Whether or not they are motivated and focused enough?

And while all of these questions need to be asked and will invariably play some role in the eventual outcome, the most important question that needs to be asked of every person who is serious about creating their best life is…

“Are you teachable?”

Will you actually learn?
Learning – not to be confused with being exposed to information. Some people have been exposed to quality information for a long time but have never really learned anything. Learning in a personal development sense, should typically result in positive change somewhere along the line. Some people hear and read lots but don’t seem to put any of it into practice. You know what I mean, we’ve all done it. Having a theoretical understanding of an idea or concept doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve learned anything; the real learning comes with practical application of the theory. Note that I’m not talking about the traditional notion of academic learning here (what is the capital of Australia for instance), no, I’m talking about learning in relation to behavioural change.

Positive change is simply the consequence of learning.

Sure some people might tick every box when it comes to those five questions (above), but at the same time, if they are not teachable (and many aren’t), it doesn’t matter how much potential they have, how high they might score on an IQ test, or how much support or encouragement they have, they won’t change. They won’t learn.

Teachability.

For a range of different reasons, some people lack teachability – not because they can’t learn, just because they won’t. I have met many talented, intelligent people who are chronic under-achievers because they will not be taught. Something always gets in the way, and it’s usually wrapped up in their mindset; their attitude, their stinking thinking and their history. They are often stubborn and fearful, they have non-negotiable (destructive) attitudes and beliefs, they are periodically arrogant and self-righteous, and they are often resentful of anyone who has different beliefs and/or ideas to them.

They claim to be all about learning, but in truth, they are only about learning as long as they are not challenged, confronted or questioned about their current thinking, beliefs and behaviours. If anyone questions them (as I often do with people), they feel violated, criticised and attacked; they switch to ‘defensive mode’. Even when I say to someone “I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m saying let’s explore other possibilities and consider another perspective”, I’m met with a brick wall – and these are people who have paid to be mentored!

“You can coach me, but only if you tell me what I wanna hear.”

‘Cause that’s gonna work. Not.
The truth is that some alleged ‘seekers of the truth’ and self-improvement types are closed books when it comes to certain subject matter. Completely un-teachable. They won’t consider, or open themselves up to, anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or puts into question a long-held belief, attitude or behaviour. One of the biggest challenges for us in our journey to explore and develop our full potential is to be able to free our mind of the crap that crippled and confined us for so long; to truly open our mind and our spirit to new and different thoughts, ideas, and realities. It’s kind of exhausting being a slave to fear, habits and tradition isn’t it? Just because we’ve believed or done something for fifty years doesn’t mean it’s true or right. It just means we’ve believed it or done it for a long time. What if your truth and your reality is what actually stops you from learning, growing and fulfilling your potential?

The Irony.

The irony being that while new and different is often where the most growth comes, it’s also what terrifies us the most. We don’t want to consider that we may have been wrong for the last ten (fifty) years. We don’t want to consider that maybe it’s US who needs to change – completely. What if it’s not about the other person, situation, circumstance or the event? What if it’s about me? Talk to a committed Mormon, Christian, Muslim, Jew and Buddhist. I have and guess what?

They all know that they are right.

And everyone else is misguided. Well-meaning but misguided. Apparently. That’s a little scary huh? Are they open to discussion or other possibilities? Nope. Sometimes people want to believe in something so much (be it a religion, a partner, a government, a political system, a revered leader), that they will actually shut themselves down to the possibility of any ‘other’ truth. Most of us get told what to believe as we grow up and that becomes our absolute reality. The result is an adult with a set of non-negotiable beliefs. A closed mind. This leads to intolerance, ignorance, judgment (ironic isn’t it?), arrogance, conflict and a bunch of stuff that I really don’t want to explore right now.

Getting out of my own way.

Many times in my life, even in the last few years, I have had to take stock of my own beliefs, my own standards, my own ‘Craig rules’. I have had to work hard to step out of my self-limiting beliefs, my history, my personal fears, my programming, my ignorance and arrogance and become more teachable. And as long as I was a slave to my rigid, non-negotiable thinking and my insecurities, I was virtually un-teachable because I would only listen to, and act upon, what I was comfortable with, or what was consistent with my current beliefs and thinking.

So, how do we become more teachable?

1. We need to have the mindset and heart of a student. We need to be open to learning new things, no matter how old or ‘smart’ we are. Always willing to be taught. Excited to learn. Still discerning, still exercising wisdom and common sense of course, but open to what the day and everything and everyone in that day might have to teach us. Every experience is a new opportunity to learn if we make it that, or it can be ‘just another day’. It’s a choice.

2. We need to lose the superiority complex. The moment we stop needing to be right, is the moment we open the door to learning. Ego gets in the way of teachability. So too does pride and arrogance. The humble student is the quickest learner.

3. We must find that genuine burning desire to be a good student. We must be prepared to do what it takes to be completely teachable. This takes guts and discipline. Some people in your life may not want you to learn, not want you to be exposed to different ideas and philosophies. This is a strange phenomenon but it’s absolutely real. People are scared and critical of what they don’t know or understand. Just take a look at our world.

4. We must not look for the easy way but for the effective way. Our lazy, quick-fix culture is all about shortcuts but the process is where we learn. When there’s no journey, there’s no learning. That’s why most people who win a million dollars end up broke because they have never learned how to create wealth or manage money. It’s in the process, that we develop the skills, the knowledge and the understanding.

5. We need to un-learn, before we can learn. As long as we are bound to certain destructive, self-limiting beliefs, attitudes, fears and habits, we will be unable to be taught.

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