“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you never take.” (Wayne Gretzky)
I’m not particularly gifted (sigh) but I am pretty driven. I choose to be proactive, focused and disciplined (mostly) because I’m fascinated by what we human beings can achieve when we commit to exploring our potential and when we don’t allow our thinking or emotions to get in the way of our possibilities. In some ways, I guess my drive and determination come (in part) from my lack of inherent ability.
Who knew that being not-very-talented would have an upside? 
Growing up, I wasn’t a great athlete, student, musician or a great anything for that matter. I was good at a few things (okay, eating), average at a few more and pretty crap at a whole bunch of things. For all the money my parents spent on years of guitar lessons, I should be frickin’ Carlos Santana, Jimi Hendrix and Slash all rolled into one. If only there had been some musical ability in the mix, I could have been anything.
Based on what I still remember (and can still play), I think my parents invested somewhere in the vicinity of four thousand dollars per chord. Having said that, if you ever need somebody to belt out a horrible acoustic rendition of House of the Rising Sun at your next party, I’m your guy.
What do you mean – “no thanks”?
That hurts. 
And if, per chance, something is in need of repair at your house, whatever you do, don’t ask me to fix it. Sure, I may look handy but don’t be fooled; as a repairman, I’m about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. Combine my total lack of technical and mechanical aptitude with my enormous-for-no-good-reason ego, my enthusiasm, my unwarranted optimism (about my potential to fix things) and my ineptitude with tools – and I’m sure to create more havoc than harmony at your place.
The strange thing is, part of me always thinks I’m going to be able to fix whatever it is I’m taking apart – despite my abysmal track record. It’s the one area that I don’t seem to learn in. Maybe it’s my over-developed optimism-gene kicking in. Fortunately, I’ve always had girlfriends with great mechanical aptitude. And large forearms. 
Stop it.
Enough about me.
Your Best Life
When it comes to the matter of creating and sustaining our best life (whatever that means to each of us personally), the question we should ask ourselves is not, “how much potential do I have?” but rather, “how much of that potential am I currently using?”
On Friday, I published a fantastic letter I received from Mel - one of our readers and part of our community. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you take a peek. Her achievement of creating and maintaining such a significant change in her world is inspirational. She lost 56 kgs (123 lbs) and has kept it off for a year and a half. But more important than the weight-loss (in my opinion), is the fact that she has also created and maintained amazing change on many levels beyond the physical.
Go Mel.
After years of stopping and starting. Of wasting time. Of not reaching her goal. Of living in a body which embarrassed her. Of feeling self-conscious. Of hiding in her house. Of crying. Of avoiding people. Of pretending to be happy. Of shortness of breath. Of poor health. Of chaffing. And of walking to the letterbox in the dark… Mel changed. Massively. She transformed her body, her thinking, her habits, her behaviours and her life.
Her entire reality.
Now, we could spend hours debating and discussing why it took her so long (to change once and for all) but the pertinent question for this chat is:
Did she always have the potential to create amazing change?
Of course, the answer is yes. She didn’t wake up one day and miraculously possess more potential. No, she woke up one day and started using what had always been there. And to keep using it no matter what. What she didn’t always have was the mindset, the awareness, the discipline or the momentum – but she always had the potential for incredible transformation.
For a range of reasons, there was a time when she was not (genuinely) ready. Not prepared to pay the price. Not willing to get that uncomfortable. Not willing to face her fears. The potential was there but it wasn’t being exploited – kind of like the guy who buys the amazing car and then leaves it in the garage because he’s too scared somebody might scratch it. Or resent his success. Or steal it when he’s not looking.
And when Mel created the right internal environment - when she got to that point – she opened the door to something that was always there: her own personal world of amazing. Her potential.
You and Me?
The amount of inherent potential you and I have is finite but how much of that potential we use is completely optional. Isn’t that great news? Of course, there’s no way of knowing, measuring or quantifying exactly how much potential we each have – or how much of that potential we will typically use in a lifetime (various figures like three percent get thrown around) - but it’s my belief, observation and experience that most of us don’t use most of what we have.
So the next obvious question is…
What Stops us from Exploring, Developing and Maximising our Potential?
A bunch of things but mostly, it’s a fear thing.
Fear of failure. Of embarrassment. Of being judged. Of the unknown. Of being ridiculed. Of the commitment required. Of the potential pain, discomfort and risk. The day we decide that we’re prepared to deal with those inevitable realities of the human experience, and the day we stop trying to keep everybody except ourselves happy, is the day the transformation begins.
Personally, I’ve spent years making mistakes. Taking risks. Being criticised. Embarrassed. Judged. Labelled. Liked. Disliked. I’m okay with all of it because where there’s discomfort, there’s growth. There’s learning. And in the middle of it all, I found me. Despite many protests, I went to university (for the first time) at thirty-six. After being told that I wouldn’t get a book published, I wrote my first book at thirty-seven. I did my first (regular) TV gig at forty-two. I didn’t know what a blog was at forty-one. I’ve had two failed businesses. In order to build my speaking skills, I did hundreds of presentations for little or no money. For years. Some of them were horrible. I was horrible. My ‘apprenticeship’ into the world of professional speaking was a ten-year journey. I could go on, but I don’t want to bore you. Needless to say, my failures lessons far outweigh my triumphs.
In some ways, the ‘safest’ thing for me to do would be to not share my thoughts, ideas, opinions and beliefs in such a public way. Some people don’t like it. Doing what I do – sharing my philosophies with a large audience – means that I will be criticised, disliked and uncomfortable on a regular basis. That’s okay, I’ll simply choose to live, laugh, love and learn. Because I can.
One of my favourite mentors at university (Dr. Paul Callery) once told me:
“If you don’t want to offend anyone, then say nothing, do nothing and be nothing.”
Smart man.
I’ll finish today’s post with a message I often share with my charges:
I don’t care how young, old, fat, fit, tall, small, genetically gifted, intelligent, qualified, skilled, experienced or inherently talented you are (or aren’t), all I care about (in terms of you creating lasting change in your world), is what you do with what you’ve been given. You can’t change your genetics but you can change how you use them. You can’t change your chronological age but you can change what you do (choices, behaviours, habits) at your age. And in the process, you can lower your biological age. You can’t change other people but you can change how you behave and react around them. You can’t alter your level of natural ability (potential), but you can determine how much of that ability you tap into, exploit and develop. You can’t change your past but you can change the way you let it influence and impact on your present and your future. That is, you don’t need to be limited by, defined by or determined by your history (as many people are). Your history doesn’t necessarily tell you anything about your potential and is often a poor indicator of what’s possible for your future. If you’re like many, then your achievements – or perhaps lack of achievements – are more a reflection of your fear (to take a chance and get uncomfortable) than they are a reflection of your potential.
And finally, don’t allow your self-limiting, over-thinking, fear-influenced mind to stand between you and happiness. You are good enough, talented enough, courageous enough and definitely worth it.
Enjoy your journey.
And your potential.
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Great post Craig…loved it!
Thanks for the timely post, Craig. I would have thought that your 30% female component would have been able to fix anything with one high-heeled shoe, a sharp knife and a pair of tweezers. That’s just what chicks do – usually while the ‘power tool’ in the household (aka my dad) is still psyching himself up to go to Bunnings.
I sure hope you’re right about the enthusiasm and commitment being more important than talent thing. I’m kinda relying on it. On Tuesday night I’m taking the first step (call it reconnaissance) in my doing-things-I’ve-always-wanted-to-do-but-have-been-too-damned-terrified mission. If lack of talent is a good starting point then I’m going to be awesome.
Christina xxx
I think the main reason people to fail to reach their full potential is they are not sure how to get out of the place they are in. As you quite rightly point out this is due mainly to fear.
Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks. Others believe it results from careful planning. As far as I’m concerned, success in life comes from both taking risks and careful planning.
Interesting post. I’ve just started to do some goal setting in my life, in an effort to make myself more focused and engaged, instead of failing as I have in the past. Your post is perfect timing for me right now. Johanna
WOW! I really, really love this post. I’m always striving to get rid of negative thinking in my life and you have some great ideas here. I’m really glad I found your site!
A lot of people believe that their life has been pre-destined and there’s nothing we can do to change it. You are the only person that can change you in your universe.
Thank you Craig, for this timely post. Sometimes our potential is staring us right in the face, but we are distracted with keeping everyone else happy that we forget about US!!!
[...] Tapping into Your Potential [...]
Once again a brilliant thought provoking piece from Mr Tough Love CH. God Bless you Craig. xxx
Hello,
Definitely a great post!
Again……………I’m in the process of getting my life in order as you prob know, – outta debt, in shape, reach new targets, manage to consistently live off less income so I can put savings toward other stuff. I have made some good consistent progress the last few weeks. Am now 5kg or less from the weight range I wanna maintain, (70.5kg now), nearly paid off debt, – another 2-3 weeks to go, have gone a consecutive 36 days with no alcohol which is something I’d not achieved since I was about 17ish, (going from enjoying one or two, occasionally more about 5-6 nights a week), have changed to much cheaper skincare, now never pay more than $20 for a haircut and colour my own hair instead every few months and have reduced mobile phone usage.
The thing now is……………..at about this point or at this point soon in a few weeks I’ve always crashed. It may start with making a mistake not in line with my goals that I’m not happy with, losing confidence, having the mental urges/games playing for a big binge/spend up. Which has made it harder in the past to get on track the next day………..then the next……………………..until a few weeks or months when I’m back at square one in debt/outta shape. I have overcome small hiccups and got on track straight away so know I can…………………..but until now several times have always slipped up big time undoing months of work within weeks.
I am feeling committed and determined NOT to do that this time. I do expect the occasional slip up but wanna learn something from them and make sure they don’t last longer than a day and over time have them become few and far between. If a genuine disaster like a debt or sudden jobloss happens and I mindlessly eat a gelato I want to be able to forgive myself and move on in a positive manner. I wanna always be strong enough to ride out urges. If I slip, I wanna feel annoyed with the slip and always feel able to get back on track straight away but not beat myself up about it.
I’ve done well with being on track lately I even think, overcame a small slip last week but struggle with believing I WILL keep on track for good without a lot of reckless steps backward at some point although I know I can and it’s possible!
But Criag, or anyone, you talk about history not defining the future. Sadly, it does. Tonight I was told an ex friend of mine will not talk to my friends if my friends are with me. How pathetic! So my point is, I agree totally, but part of history is mistakes and when those mistakes are personal and professional relationship disasters, it’s very hard to trust anyone again.
Sorry Craig I mean I always seem to make a spelling mistake in my posts LOL
Good post Craig. It’s inspiring to see many of your accomplishments at a “later age” – I’m in my 40’s and am fighting those thoughts that it’s too late for me…
Thanks Craig. Awesome post – consider myself kicked! ()
Encouraging and inspiring post, Craig. Thanks so much. I also followed thru and read Mel’s story. You both keep reminding me that “It’s NEVER too late to be what I could have been:! Again, thanks.
Having failed so many times in the past I sometimes wonder is it is really worth trying again. Of course this is a excuse, but I seriously need to change my thinking.
Craig,
Great stuff, why isn`t this taught in schools to help prepare everyone to lead a full and challenging life, and to understand that life IS !!! meant to be a learning,growing,challenging [ as opposed to fearfull } experience
[...] Tapping into Your Potential [...]
Hi Nav,
Sorry. I just read your comment from the other day. Do you think you could email Craig with your details so I can contact you? I have a plan to get us both back on track. Yep. You should be afraid …
Lots of hugs.
CJ xox
ps. Hi Mel! Thanks for sharing your inspirational story. It’s always great to hear from a fellow Blue Mountains chick
Hi Craig,
I thought what you wrote about the challenging nature of readers’ opposition to your views was so interesting. If a comment pops up and the commenter is in complete disagreement with you, I think they’re being ironic and sometimes hilarious… until I figure out they really mean it.
We’re all on random stops in the same journey, hopefully progressing toward our ultimate destination in life. At this point in my life I’m ready for the kind of help and support you very generously offer. Obviously there’s a whole population of us out here loving you.
Thanks
Michael – your life sounds like a cross between ‘The Young & The Restless’ and high school. Why do you have to know these people? Personally i feel sometimes we just have to let go of ‘history’. Maybe it’s time for a seachange. Go somewhere nobody know’s you. I know we can’t run away from our problems but sometimes in order to survive we need to cut off from everyone and everything we’ve ever known even for a short time. Shed some skin. Strip ourselves down, ripping off anything we’ve ever hated about ourselves and our life and then slowly build ourselves up again but with a stronger foundation. It’s easier to do that when your not surrounded by bullshit. Imagine how exciting that would feel, to go some place you’ve never been before where noone knows you so you can be free to be anyway you want to be, to choose to talk or not to talk to people. To be alone in a strange place and to have severe feelings of fear, doubt, panic and loneliness but then to have moments of great clarity where you feel no matter what happens you’ll be ok because your proving your ok, your on your own & your ’shock horror’ actually surviving. Many people have done that, just picked up and left.
Sometimes i think about doing that myself. Not to run away from things but just to..test myself. To be scared shitless and excited all at the same time. To remind myself that i can do things on my own and i am capable if i just give myself a chance.
I think most of us have it too easy. And some of us feel a little guilty at having it too easy. When our lives lack sparkle our egos start hurting so we create these little dramas for ourselves to hide how boring we really are and to remind us how much we really hate ourselves. We forget that we are just a speck in the universe but our actions can mean so much yet we waste time doing the bullshit dance.
A
Great post, in my opinion and through working in the fitness industry, it seems that people over complicate the small things and try to use complex solutions to solve problems that only require a simple solution.
Whats the worst that can happen if you attempt to change for the better, you’re not going to go backwards, you can only go forwards
Hi Craig! This is the very first comment I’ve ever left on your blog. Mostly I just read it and then read the comments everyone posts and get inspired and then…continue to go about my day. But today’s post hit a little closer to home.
I’ve recently started roller derby. Four weeks ago I hadn’t pulled on a pair of quad skates since I was in primary school, but I knew I wanted to explore my potential for this sport. I didn’t feel fear to begin with actually, just nerves and excitement. But now I am feeling the fear, as I freakin’ love roller derby AND I think I could be good (with a lot more practice). The thing is, I have a back injury (bulging disc L4/5) and for 6 weeks at the beginning of the year I was out of action and in pain. I had my first tumble last week and since then I’ve had twinges of pain in my back (and a bruised knee) – the thing is I’m so afraid that I’m going to hurt my back again! I don’t mind the pain so much, it’s just the immobility and time off work. I want to keep skating so much, but as my training increases and gets more physical the risk of injuring my back increases. I want to continue exploring my potential and not let my fear get in the way…
Hi Craig
I would like to share something that made a huge difference to me in my journey. “The opposite of fear & control is TRUST”. Trust that no matter what happens, you can deal with it. Trust that everything will be ok. You are ok. All is good. Trust your decisions as they are right for you. Trust that you have the power of your mind to get what you want.
These words changed me; to not be such a control freak it’s ok to let go and make mistakes and I sleep so much better!
Ange
[...] Tapping into Your Potential [...]
Haven’t been here for a while. I must say that there’s a certain wow factor about your post today. What a delightful and insightful blog! I for one like taking risks. Life is all about risk and reward.
Great message Craig and what Mel has achieved is such a wonderful example of tapping into your potential and not giving up regardless of how tough the going got.
Over the last 2-3 years I feel I have moved a long way towards reaching my potential and yet I know I still have some way to go. For many years I thought I had the potential to be a personal trainer however I held back because of my highly introverted nature, and fears such as I wasn’t good enough, what will people think of me? etc.
I had to let go of the fears and convince myself that I didn’t have to fake being a full on chatty, extraverted person to be a good personal trainer. I came to the realisation that I was good enough as I was and all I needed to do was tap into what I already had deep inside me.
I completed my PT course last year and I now do one on one and small group training and I am loving it. It wasn’t all plain sailing – there were moments during the personal training course where I felt what am I doing here? I sometimes questioned whether I had made a big mistake as I felt I didn’t fit the mold of a typical PT etc. I pushed on regardless and as the course progressed, my confidence in my own abilities grew. I stopped comparing myself to others and focussed on being the best that I could be.
Last week a mother and daughter team did an outdoor training session with me. They both completed an awesome workout and pushed themselves much harder than they ever had before. At the end of the session the mother thanked me and said “If anyone else had tried to get me to do what I just did I would have told them to get stuffed but you have such a gentle and encouraging nature I felt I wanted to keep going and I am so glad I did.” As feedback goes this was pure gold.
My message in telling you this little story is to encourage others not to pigeon hole themselves. Be true to yourself and your authentic abilities will shine through. How often do we let fear take over and we end up talking ourselves out of doing something that we know we want? I have learnt that I do have inner strength I just had to dig deep and fight the inner voice of self doubt to find it. If you tap into your potential, and believe in yourself you may be surprised at what you can achieve.
Hey Guys,
Oh Craig you the say the nicest things, I have the warm fuzzies lol.
It makes me laugh when you say you are not particularly talented, really it does. Go and look in the mirror my friend you will be looking at one of the most talented people in motivation and helping people that I have ever come across. You do make me laugh.
For me the thing that held me back was fear, not so much fear of “what if I dont succeed” it was fear of “what if I do succeed”. Sounds strange I know but sometimes it was alot safer to be fat, I had an excuse for almost everything in my life, “sorry no cant participate, too fat”, “if only I wasn’t so fat, I would give that a go and be brilliant at it” etc etc. I now think of what was my excess weight as a big fat suit of pain and sadness that I was hiding inside of.
I think the day I decided to change was the day the pain of being the way I was outweighed the fear of coming out from my fat suit. Hard to explain and I dont know if I have quite gotten it right but it is just how it feels to me.
Michael –
If your ex friend wont talk to your other friends when you are there they are the ones missing out on friendship. You do not have to buy into their games, it is up to you. Easy to say I know but you control your reactions to other people, no one can make you feel a certain way only you can do that.
Ange –
WOW you have rocked my world with this one (“The opposite of fear & control is TRUST”. Trust that no matter what happens, you can deal with it. Trust that everything will be ok. You are ok. All is good. Trust your decisions as they are right for you. Trust that you have the power of your mind to get what you want.) I have some trust issues with certain people in my life and have been trying so hard to work out a way I can trust again etc then bam along comes your comment and it just hit me, I just need to let go of the fear and control, just let go. Your a bloody champion THANK YOU. Love it.
CJ-
Thank CJ, The Mountains are Awesome, love em. No wonder your such a cool chick lol….
I have also signed up for Uni this year at the age of 34 and am going to complete my Bachelor of Arts in History for a start (Always wanted to do it, thought I left it to late).
I am also on day 13 of reclaiming my life from the filthy cancer sticks. I know I am done this time. I am already a non smoker and will not be going back.
It is never too late to do anything you want to do, NEVER.
Funny thing is once you conquer one thing the world seems like your oyster. Yep still bloody hard work but anything is possible once you open your mind to it.
We all have endless potential every single one of us.
Love Mel
Love Mel
….now if I could just think of what it was I wanted to do……..
Hi Gang. Great work as always. Hope you’re all enjoying your Monday – wherever you are in the world – and I hope you’re all “being the change”.
Big hi to my first-time commentors.
Peace
Craig, for the last few years i have wondered could you possible be the ‘man of my dreams’?? Now you have confirmed it, as every post you do touches my heart and today is no different.
( ) Wishing i could hug you in person,
thank you for you
xox
Mel Mc
Once again, another insightful and helpful article – thanks. One comment of yours about how your lessons outweighed your triumphs reminded me of part of a great quote from the movie Blow (biography of George Jung – not an admirable character – but ambitious). Here is the whole quote, and the key is on his comment about his ambition – I generally feel the same as I have been tapping into the unknown with reckless abandon these past two years – for business and personal. Here it is, last line of movie:
George: So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It’s always the last day of summer and I’ve been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I’ll grant you I’ve had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there’s almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.
This post really speaks to me Craig. I just accepted a new job and while I am excited about it, it is a risk. You take risks by leaving your comfort zone.
AngelT
Hi Mel Mc. You’re too kind.
I’ll take that hug any time but keep in mind that sometimes the “idea” of me is better than the “reality” of me..
xx
Hi Craig,
Just found out about you (sorta live half way across the other end of the world lol) I have no weight issues thankfully, but I think what you say is important to anyone who wants to be fully realized. You’re energy is fantastic!:) All the best t you…
Mel
Never let anyone tell you an Arts degree is useless. I have one as my basic degree and it got me work, but more important, it showed the spineless ones that they didn’t have the guts to sit through classes improving their minds.
It does make you overanalyse things but hey – it’s worth it Mel BA
Awesome column, especially to read on a Monday
Thanks Craig! What a wonderful world it would be if everyone explored the limits of their potential . . .
LOL!
Thanks Craig, I needed to hear that today!
Cheers
Denise
It doesn’t matter how many people believe in you. If you are shit scared and let that fear stop you, it’s gonna be hard to get anywhere in life. It may not be realistic to take away all the fear, but you can minimise it and you can deal with it rationally.
I recently finished my first ironman. Was I scared? HELL YES! Did I almost let that fear stop me from starting the race? I hate to admit it, but yes, I did. Did I deal with my fear rationally? No. So there is my problem. Have I always had the potential to finish an ironman? Yes. Did I do the training that would allow me to finish the race? Yes. So, why the fear then? “It’s just a swim, bike and a run” my friend would keep telling me. But its more than that – its the fear of the unknown. It’s putting it all together on the day. It’s the mass swim start with 1,250 others. It’s feeling like I didn’t belong. It was feeling like I wasn’t ready.
Ironman has already taught me a lot. And it’ll no doubt teach me much more. I’m addicted to the challenge.