Attitude and Reality
We’re all well aware that our attitude plays a significant role in the kind of results we produce in our world and also in the kind of reality we create and inhabit. After all, attitude impacts (both positively and negatively) on virtually every aspect of our existence: health, healing, happiness, relationships (social, romantic, professional), finances, career, communication, reactions, decisions, behaviours, expectations, opportunities and much more.
On many levels our attitude determines our reality. If not always our three-dimensional reality, then, without doubt, our internal reality – the place we do most of our ‘living’. Let’s be honest, some people’s crappy lives are simply a reflection of, and consequence of, their crappy attitude. You know these people. Every time you see them and (hesitantly) ask them how they are, they’re like … “pfft, don’t even ask”.
“Okay, bye” (said while accelerating away at warp-speed 7).
Their lives are a constant shit-fight because they major in minors, turn hiccups into events and are more interested in attention and sympathy than they are in solutions. They catastrophise their way through the world and they are exhausting to be around. And yes, we’ve all been this person at some stage.
Even you.
And then there are those people who live in (what appears to be) a less-than-ideal situation yet they happen to have a fantastic (happy, fulfilled) life because of their amazing attitude. That is, the quality of their life and their overall level of happiness and contentment is not determined by their situation, circumstance or environment but, rather, by their attitude. They choose to manage their world rather than be managed by it.
A better attitude equals better reactions, decisions, behaviours and results. Which, of course, equals a better reality.
So, the relevant questions are:
1. Is it possible for you and me to have a great day simply because we make that decision?
2. Is it possible for you and me to have a great day despite what does or doesn’t happen to us or around us on a given day?
Of course, I’m gonna say ‘yes’ to both questions. Does it take work? Does anything worth doing?
Now, in saying these things, I’m not talking about some kind of cheesy, warm, fluffy, head-in-the-sand, delusional approach to living. No. Of course I’m well aware that life and all its variables can be a very messy, uncomfortable business. However, I’m also aware that things (in my world) only have the meaning I give them. Same goes for you. Same goes for all of us. That is, hard or easy, catastrophe or life-lesson, opportunity or problem are all about personal interpretation, reaction and labelling.
“It’s only a problem when I say it is.”
Until that point in time, it’s just a thing (event, happening, occurrence, situation) without a label.
“What I choose to call it will determine my ability to deal with it.”
If I call it a catastrophe, I instantly hand over my power because we all know the outcome of catastrophes. We’ve all seen Titanic. Unfortunately.
However, when I choose to call the same thing an exciting challenge, then I instantly access that part of my mind that is all about positivity, creativity, productivity and solutions. And I instantly increase my chances of creating a positive outcome. I tap into resourceful Craig. And that type of reaction and interpretation will not only lead me to better results in a practical sense but it will also put me in a better (healthier) place physically, emotionally and psychologically.
Relearning and Unlearning
As soon as I decide that something is difficult and stressful then my body will respond accordingly (changes in respiration, blood pressure, hormone production, heart rate, body temperature). These physiological changes will then create a negative flow-on effect to other aspects of my reality.
“Be careful what you call it.”
As I‘ve said before, situations, circumstances and environments don’t produce stress; people produce stress. A situation is only stressful when I decide (consciously or not) that it is. That’s why different things will stress different people because it all comes down to personal interpretation and response. It ‘means’ what I believe it means – which is why I need to be prepared to un-learn and re-learn. In my world, stress doesn’t exist until I create it. Sure, certain situations or events might be a trigger, but only I can create and (maintain) stress in my (personal) reality.
When we train ourselves to respond differently, we give (old) things new meanings and we create a shift in power. We open a new door. As a consequence, we change our state, our results and our reality in a very literal and measurable way. And, no, this is not a theory or hypothesis.
Unless, of course, we make it that. 
“When my attitude changes everything changes because my mind is the window through which I observe the world.”
That’s right: we react better, choose better, behave better, communicate better, cope better connect better, resolve conflict easier and ask better questions. We’re also more creative, productive and solution-focused.
Why is it that some people will gain insight, inspiration, revelation and motivation from this post while others will gain… nothing? Because my words will only have the meaning, power and influence that you, the reader, give them. Ultimately words are just words until we breathe life into them and assign them a value.
When I consciously choose to see my world through a different window, I allow myself to see the beauty, joy, gifts, lessons and opportunities that my (previous) poor attitude had blinded me to.
Is it time for a cerebral renovation in your world?
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I truly believe and always tell myself that ’something good comes out of every thing that happens in our lives’, even the worst possible things that happen. That way I immediately start to speculate about what the ‘good’ thing is/might be this time around. It’s a tricky little technique that stops your mind from even beginning to wander into the label shop to purchase a catastrophe, disaster, or end-of-the-world-poor-me sticker. I use this with people I have to interact with in life (who mind you I might not choose to deal with if I had a choice, eg angry work colleague). I think about why they are a part of my life, what it is I might be ‘meant’ to learn from them, and what even the tiniest thing is that I can take from my interactions with/observations about them. It works!
1. Is it possible for you and me to have a great day simply because we make that decision?
Yes – though it does mean detaching from the suffering and problems of people, animals and nations sometimes and that is hard.
2. Is it possible for you and me to have a great day despite what does or doesn’t happen to us or around us on a given day?
Again depends on what it is but yes.
Fantastic post Craig have a good weekend
You are a genius – most of the time anyway 
Good morning from Hotel de Frimley Park, the all-inclusive establishment with amazing views, fab night life, excellent room service and a gourmet chef …
Actually, I’m in a hospital with a leg that’s a cross between an elephant and a lobster – the alien invasion that is cellulitis – the gourmet chef picked this week to take his own holiday, and the night life is enough to try the patience of a saint, lol. The alien invasion is a lot less than pleasant and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I’m choosing to create a brighter reality because if I spend too much time thinking about the way things are, I’ll go round the twist! I’m making use of the resources available also using this enforced down time to evaluate and formulate plans for a way forward coz there’s no way that I’ll be visiting this particular hotel for this particular alien invasion ever again. Not if I can help it.
Can’t wait to discuss this one with you on Sat night.
Howdy Craig,
Your posts this week in particular have really provoked me. I feel that if one wants to better their own reality for good………………they need to read, THEN ACT CONSISTENTLY on your posts this week and they can’t go wrong. Top work this week!
I agree with how you said, ‘De-emotionalise much of the process and COMMIT to a logical, practical & strategic plan & accountability system. I agree with the 8 questions to ask oneself that you attached to that post and found 3 different ways to answer the last 3 questions!
I remember the post you did a couple of years back ‘about waking up wondering where the last 5 years went…………….at some date in 2013. Now you are talking 2015! I went back and re-read the similar post you did a couple of years ago………………am luckily, (I think) slightly lighter at present than that date 2 years ago but still have yo-yoed too much in that time and still have most of the same issues, (have had a couple of new experiences to tell though which is good!).
Today’s talk on attitudes is just as important. Definitely negativity attracts turnoff with both parties involved! There are numerous ways a situation can be interpreted.
I’m gonna talk a likely scenario with those with so called ‘less than best attitudes’ which are someone a positive person may wanna run from! ‘Urgh don’t ask…………….’ Likely a person who didn’t get enough time in bed the night before, probably who rushed to work leaving the house in a mess, likely who felt tired and grumpy and either missed brekkie or ate crap, loaded up on caffeine and maybe sugar, is maybe behind in their personal doings. I must admit I often feel like this myself and am one of these types but add……………………this will change tomorrow after more sleep or ’soon’ and I flash a smile and ask about them.
So what I guess I’m saying here is we need to treat our personal goals as well as we do with our work related ones, – ie enough time in bed a night, leaving the home each day in a standard we wouldn’t be embarrassed to show strangers, keep to our budget etc etc. Doing that even if it feels annoying will keep us on track to our financial goals…………and keep us feeling on track.
Craig,
I love the questions you ask. I bet they make you pretty cool as a coach.
I think it is possible to have a great day simply because we make that decision. I manage to do this, most of the time. How I do this is mostly by not having any imperative expectations. I tell myself that I want certain things to happen that day, but they don’t have to happen.
Yes!
But don’t assume I’m a schmaltzy little airhead just because I totally get this post and live on the bright side as much as possible.
I once worked with a miserable man and when I left the job he wrote me a nice card. It said he loved my sarcasm and it always got him through the day. It still cracks me up that by saying anything positive about the job I was so misinterpreted!
If he really knew me I’d never have gotten a Sorry You’re Leaving card…lol
Have a great weekend all, and Thanks Craig!!!
LOVE THIS WEEKS POSTS CRAIG.
DEFINITELY AGREE WITH THE ATTITUDE THING. BUDDHISTS CALL IT LIVING IN THE MOMENT. IN THIS VERY MOMENT THERE IS RARELY A PROBLEM. IT IS USUALLY OUR OBSESSION WITH THE PAST OR CREATING WHAT COULD GO WRONG IN THE FUTURE.
I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY REMIND MYSELF, BUT IT ALWAYS WORKS. I GUESS THE MORE WE PRACTISE , THE MORE THE HABIT GROWS.
LOVE
TRACY
Craig touche!!! Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of this and practice until it becomes a natural way to think.
Thank you and thank you!!!!
Sandy
This reminds me of the book, “Man’s search for meaning” – that was such an eye opening read for me. Viktor Frankl went through hell and back in a Concentration Camp and found a way to control his mind and attitude.
I feel guilty whenever I let any day go by the wasn’t stellar. I have a great life even now. Thanks for sharing this.
Absolutely agree… what one person focus’ on another just disregards… its like when you are trying to be healthy … it appears that obstacles and chocolate cake are everywhere whereas when you are healthy you just dont see these things… and even when they are in the room they just dont entice you!
To get there however they might trip you up or you may even choose that as you do have a birthday you will eat your cake and have it that day as well !
Loved your posts this week..
Craig q -You said a while ago that you were considering putting some of your ‘talents’ into the area of assisting fitness professionals/or companies set up or do this.. Are you still doing this? if so how does it work?
Great post Craig!!
These are wonderful tips. I especially love “It’s only a problem when I say it is.”
[...] Renovate Your Mind [...]
Great well written article giving people a positive understanding on attitude.
My answers:
1. YES.
2. YES.
[...] Renovate Your Mind [...]
Wonderful post. It’s always up to us to change our thinking.
A positively great post
So refreshing, it’s good to be reminded of the golden rule of maintaining a positive attitude.
[...] Renovate Your Mind [...]
Very nice post! thank you! thank you!
Hey Guys – thanks for dropping by. Enjoy your week.
so so true. you have said it all so well.
The power of the mind is an amazing thing. and yes your right that its not always easy.. but so so worth it.
have a great day
Hey Craig !
Only just catching up as I’ve had a crazy few days…. which probably would have left “the old me” a trembling wreck, but “the new me” chose to face each challenge and conquer it. Those challenges most likely sound ridiculous to most people, but to me, they were enormous.
On Friday I had to deal with two round trips to Heidelberg (from Rowville) in peak hour traffic to deliver DH to hospital for a procedure and then unexpectedly collect him again. He was originally supposed to stay overnight. Freeway was fine, but Bulleen Rd, Manningham Rd, Banksia St were like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
Then on Saturday, due to aforementioned procedure, DH was not allowed to drive so I had the privilege of driving to son’s 40th birthday party in Buninyong, going via Carrum Downs to pick up daughter and granddaughter. Approximately a 3 hour trip each way, returning home after midnight. I had been trying to find a way out of that one, but at the last minute, something kicked in, and with the aid of aforementioned daughter’s sugarless chewing gum (I NEVER chew gum !!) and a lot of determination, I delivered us all safely to the party and home again.
Yesterday I managed to escape chauffeur duties, but had a busy day nonetheless, and survived the weekend with flying colours ! So, the answer is yes… and yes !!! And as an added bonus, I now have the perfect weapon against drowsiness and loss of concentration while driving…. chewing gum !
{{HUG}}
Tina
Yes, it does matter what you call things!!! I learned that, big time, as a consultant working on a merger. I spent months referring, often nearly physical, fights over what various widgets in the business were called.
And yes, it IS possible to have a good (or at least a better) day just by deciding to.