A Little Same-y
On some level, the vast majority of personal development speakers, writers and coaches are essentially saying, advocating and endorsing the same, if not, very similar messages. Yep, even me. Of course they (we) use different styles, models, stories and language but peel back the different wrapping and you’ll see it’s all a little same-y. And to be totally honest, these same-y messages have been taught in a range of settings and environments, by a range of clever people, for millennia. On some level, in some way, most speakers, writers and coaches are essentially saying the same three things that have echoed around the self-improvement world for thousands of years:
1. Choose better.
2. Do better.
3. Be better.
I say those three things most days of my life. Somewhere, to someone.
The New Thing
Sadly, some people will always look for the new thing (program, principle, product, messiah) to fix, save, change or empower them when in reality, they have never really committed to (worked at, applied, persevered with) the old thing. What they don’t understand is that the ‘new thing’ is actually a myth. It doesn’t exist. In most cases, the new thing is simply an old thing wearing a new frock. Sure, you can wrap age-old truth and wisdom in pseudo-scientific or pseudo-psychological jargon but you don’t need a PhD in anything to know that better thinking, behaviours and decisions are more likely to produce better results. By the way, some people will take fifty thousand words and three hundred pages to tell you what I just shared in the last sentence. They’ll also charge you thirty bucks.
Over the generations, the messengers have changed but the messages themselves are constant.
Been There
Invariably, the new thing (especially in the world of personal development) is simply a re-written, re-packaged version of something that’s already been written, said and presented many times, by many people for many years. In truth, most personal development books, programs, philosophies and messages revolve around twelve (or so) key principles.
- Create a plan and follow it.
- Don’t complicate the simple.
- Make your own opportunities.
- Define success (for you).
- Control your controllables.
- Be the solution person (not the problem person).
- Make better decisions.
- Choose your attitude.
- Get uncomfortable.
- Face your fears.
- Don’t waste your potential.
- Finish what you start.
Now, you can start applying these principles or you can keep searching for the new thing. 
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Spot on! It’s the life lessons that we’re either taught at home or school from a very young age.
It’s our own roadblocks that we put up to say that this age-old system doesn’t work.
As you say – we need to (re) apply these principles to our lives and stop letting the media send us off in a different direction.
If we move the media target – which is us – maybe we’ll get back to living instead of dreaming.
Practice makes perfect. What’s stopping us from practicing what we know works?
We have the knowledge and brains to know what needs to be done. What are our goals for the coming days, weeks, and months to get back to basics?
Hugs to all
Suu xxoo
Change isn’t the only reason why I keep visiting this site, I also happen to enjoy your posts. Although it’s small steps for me, changes are taking place. I’m coming to terms with being large, and thinking about rejoining the gym, not with the expectation of losing any weight, but just to try and get a little bit fitter and for enjoyment. I’ve started off some new classes, again for enjoyment. Your posts may be same-y, so are my comments, but I’m getting loads out of coming here. I hope your mum and dad are well and things are going better for you this week.
…
finite – time in a day or in a life to do stuff
infinite – ability to choose what stuff to do with that time
…
Is this your quote? And can I quote you? I like it…
Its all yours Deb
Free to a good home !
Ok, its true, I’ve read a lot of personal development stuff by a number of authors and yes they (you) all generally have the same message. Only you however, came up with a tilte like “Stop F*@king around”
you speak (write) a language that is confrontaitional, honest and lacking the bullshit of many other motivationalspeakers. For me, this is a relief. I’ve always KNOWN what I should be doing, but often complicated it by trying to decifer what the “experts” had to say! Ok so that’s a big generalisation but hey, not all of write or speak or interpret a message the same way. What you do/say/write, works for me. I’m doing different to achieve different. As a result I have lost nearly 12kgs, am about to “host” (which will involve public speaking… My worst nightmare) an event at work and in less than 16 weeks will be running a half marathon. For me, finding a “motivational” speaker that SPEAKS TO ME has been life changing. Thankyou Craig, you do great work 
Yes I have seen the cycle or repeat.
I have read, listened to more books videos, seminars than I care to remember and I am sure there has been some benefit to them all. (My reasons were just to grow and learn and find ways that I could create the life I wanted (I didn’t want it the same as others) not to get confused)
I have gone passed the same, same to actually be able to see the contradiction in what I have read. (EG: Do this step then that step and guaranteed to work, and if it doesn’t work out then it was just meant to be! Well if that’s the case why did I do the first 2 steps??)
So confusion is something I work with at the moment because I read and listened for many years and now I am unsure what works for me.
I have had things happen recently that I thought with all my knowledge I “should” be able to handle better than I did! HHMMM (learning to deal with the disappointment feeling now, it was much easier when I plowed over it and pretended it wasn’t there)
It appears to be a constant battle inside to deal with my apparent “dark side”, something I thought I knew how to deal with. (Is it normal for all demons to come up at once?)
Having a crack at moving forward from a state of confusion!! zzzzzz
Me
Or not the real Me..
See??
Deep down I know what you’re saying is true, as I’ve seen the same common themes in alot of self help / motivational stuff that I’ve read or listened to. But you know what? I still haven’t applied these principles on a consistent basis even though I have seen the results when I stick to them for a while!
What is that all about?
Actually, I know the answer to that – it’s easier / more comfortable to not do it…
Thanks Craig – I’m off to give myself a big kick up the arse!
Can only speak for myself. I’ve being doing the self development ‘thing’ for a couple of years now and I feel a far better version of myself for doing so.
As for different ways of conveying a similar message, some of the ‘motivators’ I have experienced have been great and the information and knowledge I acquired from them has been of value and real benefit. Others have tried to make it look like they have the answer to life, the universe and everything. There are those that are somewhat lack lustre in their delivery of information and some stand up in front of a group and talk about how wonderful they are in order to feed their own ego. I’ve even experienced some that have actually put people down (totally not cool). There are too many that charge ridiculous amounts of money for what they offer, while others try to reach out with their message of motivation and make it affordable so that it can be accessable for the majority of people.
I work within an environment that can be very cynical and negative. So for me being around positive, motivated and happy people as much as possible is a must. I go to some motivational / personal development type seminars (if one sparks my interest) as a kind of a top up of my feel good fuel tank. It all helps keep my energy at a great level as well as assisting in maintaining my focus on my goals.
Since a friend told me about you Craig and this website, I’ve been following very closely. I think your common sense, no nonsense approach is great and I find what you say / write very easy to understand and relate to. I also love that you are available for anyone to access, via this site. No membership fees, no signing up for eternity to get great information.
Your book ‘Stop F*#@ing Around’ has been a valuable tool and a reminder for me to keep following my goals, dreams and to feel great about the person I am. I’ve passed that little book around to to quite a few people. All that have read it have found it really interesting as well as helpful.
Thank you!
Hi Craig, I think we need to be careful with the plans – making sure that they are the solution rather than the problem.
This challenge to the supremacy of the rational is an old one too (though the fads for neuroscience and the return to cognitive therapy tends to obscure this).
The old truth I think is that change comes from acceptance. Real change comes from accepting all the parts of who we are.
A thought…?….how different will those key principles be (will they?….and if….in which way?…) ….when we lose our ego’s….?
Yes, I have read a lot of books on personal development and I journal and share with my friends and some work employees the things that speak to me. You speak to me and hence I post your blogs on facebook and email and some of the post I have had on my fridge. What you say is black and white in a grey world. I have writen down the things I am avoiding and are slowly doing the things on the list, which is same as your (1.Choose better, 2. Do better, 3. Be better.)
I love that u get straight to the point and don,t take 300 / 3000 words to say something that can be said in 100 or less. It seems to happen heaps on the net when they are trying to sell u something. I really enjoy reading your posts and actually have the fault u are talking about in this post. I look for something new because I get slack and think the old thing is too hard- there has to be an easier way than this. So thanks for helping remind me to be a better me through consistency and persistence. My mum is always showing me new diets in the magazines n says “here this will help you loose weight”. ” look dancing makes you loose weight -ie dancing with the stars people loosing weight. I say to her” mum they are dancing 4 hrs a day, if I did that I would loose weight to”. And I already know how to loose weight, I just don’t do it. Great post. Like your style Mr Craig.
Kind regards Melissa Curtis
The thing is a lot of individuals expect that when a program seemed good, it works. However, the “effectiveness” of each program depends largely on the individual. If one is really willing to go for change, to be better, and to always strive better.
Like what was said- everything is just the same but only in different packaging. But still individuals still have to make a “difference”. They should really digest the words being taught to them to make things work for them.
Motivation solves a lot of problems!
Hey Craig,
I totally agree with you, all the principles are there for eras, but we need to read such words with our “heart” if we really want to get the benefit, doesn’t matter how was that principle packaged.
Christopher. Improvement Gateway