I can’t remember exactly who it was, but I can remember some old-timer coming to my school in the late 70’s and telling teenage me “today is the first day of the rest of your life”. The old-timer, to whom I refer, was probably in his thirties.
Dinosaur.
He was the first motivational speaker I’d ever heard and I guess he did his job pretty well because thirty years later I can still remember those words as if I heard them yesterday. In fact, that’s not entirely true; I can’t remember anything I heard yesterday.
Past, Present and Future
I’ve always been fascinated with the relationship we humans have with the past, present and future. How we see it. How it affects us. I have often wondered why some of us keep making the same mistakes for years on end. It’s like we’re both smart and stupid at the same time; theoretical geniuses (genii), practical idiots. That is, we keep doing what doesn’t work. What keeps us miserable. And frustrated.
Then there are those people who seem to have an incredible ability to re-invent themselves, to learn new things, to continue developing, facing their fears and taking chances no matter what stage of their journey they are at. Their life is one exciting and empowering chapter after another – complete with all the normal challenges that come with the messiness and unpredictability of the human experience. So the obvious question is: does one group have more ability and potential for greatness than the other, or are they simply using more of what they’ve got?
It’s a sad fact that many people will allow their undesirable past to become their undesirable future. They don’t need to, but they will. It’s completely unnecessary and totally avoidable. For a range of reasons, some people will base their expectations for the future – and their beliefs about what’s possible for that future – on what they have and haven’t done to this point in time. Without knowing it, they will put a ceiling on their future achievements, their personal growth and even, their potential for happiness.
Consciously or not, intentionally or not, on some level many of us have determined that what we’ve experienced (done, achieved, learned, acquired) to this point in time is as good as it gets for us. What a disempowering paradigm to inhabit. Tragically, it’s where many of us live.
Some Coaching from the Coach
Every day of your life – yes EVERY DAY – you have the opportunity to change your destiny. That is, the direction of your life. Not some days - every day. Including today. To make decisions, to take chances, to be courageous, to do different and to embrace behaviours which will be transformational from the inside out. Every day you (yes, YOU the person looking at this screen) have the opportunity to learn from your past and to build a better future. Will it be easy? Probably not. Is that okay? Yes. Every day you have the gifts of freedom and choice. Freedom to choose your future and freedom to manage (control, create, shape) your world, rather than be managed by it.
Or…
You also have the opportunity to immerse yourself in self pity, to get angry at me for making assumptions about you (which I’m not by the way), to ignore my advice, to make excuses, to hate the world, to be problem-focused and to keep looking for someone or something else, to ‘fix’ you.
I hope you choose option A.
Enjoy your weekend 
x
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Option A for me please!
Wow. Excellent post!!!
Love it. Thanks Craig. Just when I’m heading down a road I shouldn’t go, you slap me in the head with some tough love and a dose of reality. You have a great ability put things into perspective for me. Thanks – Kaz.
“… many people will allow their undesirable past to become their undesirable future.”
I’ve one of those people. But I’m happy to report that it’s (slowly) changing. I’m changing because I want to. No one holds a gun to your head and says “hey you – change your mind set about your past or else I’ll fire!” In all reality, who cares what goes through your head on a moment-to-moment basis? Other than you, my guess would be no one? Although, I’m sure those around you will be better off if you had an “amazing attitude” and were committed, focused and determined to become the best person you can be. Sure, I agree with Craig in that none of this stuff is particually ‘easy’ – it can be real tough and tests even the strongest poeple. But its up to us. It’s our choice.
Something has come up in my world this week which made me step back in time to when I was suffering from the same thing (although the context and triggers have been very different). Let me tell you – it’s been a shit fight of a game of tug-o-war in my head these past 36 hrs. I was loosing, badly. But I finally allowed myself to separate the emotion from the intellect and after speaking to someone who cares a lot about me I saw things as they are, not as I wanted to see them and did what I needed to do. I’m not overly happy about it but sometimes you don’t have a choice. There are certain things you just need to do if you want things to improve and get better.
Love this post Craig. Such a waste to live life as a victim.
J9 ()
Hey Craig-
1 headslap and a side of tough love to go, please. I totally agree we have the opportunity daily to do different and make better choices which will indeed, change our destiny. My challenge seems to be in the persistence and consistency departments. I do well for a short time, but then I revert to old and comfortable behaviors, landing me right back in the same old shit.I know if I can just get out of the muck, I can realize the potential that lies within. Got a rope, mate?
Fabulous post! I’m in the process of changing my life (with hubby). It’s scary and will be a big step but….I know it will be better for us and it will work because we will both pull together to make sure it does. So option A for me definitely! It will be a big challenge but I love challenges! Fran xx
Great post Craig =)
I have recently been struggling with a desire to return to dance training (seriously as opposed to recreationally) because when I was training in my teens I never fully applied myself – near enough was always good enough, and i was always questioning my abilities; “Can’t” was a popular word in my vocabulary. I was happy to blame my mediocre skills on a luck of opportunity, education and resources, and honestly believed for a long time that these were the reasons I didn’t take it further. There was always someone with better training, more years of training, more natural talent, a better body or better looks. After watching So You Think You Can Dance this past week and reading a bunch of your posts, I’m starting to realise that the person I am now is different to the person I was then, and that at only 26 I should definitely have a few good years in me yet!
I should take this as an opportunity to apply myself and work harder than ever before, as I am fitter and stronger than I ever was, and there is no need ro make these comparisons any more. I guess I need to believe I can still improve, and not think that I will only ever be as good as I was then… surely I can be better, regardless of age! Just look at the dancers my age that are amazing after having only trained in certain genres for a year or two. Or the dancers in their thirties that are still phenomenal. Why shouldn’t I be able to do that? Surely it’s within my reach.
Thanks for inspiring me, you always do.
Cheers,
Claire
For sure, but called it bad memory sometimes I just ‘forget’. Am so grateful that although I may not be always reinventing who I am I am conistently creating a better life than I have ever had in the psat!
RPM 46 is launched in Sydney today.. it is the day to make a difference.. a big one! Two years ago I dreamt of an RPM room where it was like a club and you had to say ‘no’ to ppl because it was just so god damn packed… Last Thursday this became the reality for my class…
Two years I dreamt of riding with the guys on the videos I practice with .. it looks like (fingers crossed) this might become a reality this year..
NOW how do I get the owners to double to size of the RPM studio !
“To make decisions, to take chances, to be courageous, to do different and to embrace behaviours which will be transformational from the inside out.”
Hey Craig, that’s what people in the Arizona sweat lodge were told.
How about I stop trying to change, and just do, and stop reaching for something that by definition, is forever out of reach?
How about I revisit and embellish which is within reach and got glossed over in my rush to achieve nirvana?
How about I start flossing my teeth habitually?
How about I inquire about the repetitious thoughts and feelings that inhabit my emotionosphere and void them?
How about I define “to do different and embrace behaviours”?
Whose behaviours?
Am I just gong to follow another’s template and believe that that is what success is?
The question must be..”What is stopping me from living happily in my own mould?”
Why must I always compare myself and strive to live to the standards or expectations of others?
It is this very conflict within, that such comparison causes, which then becomes the burden and weight I carry with me in my life.
Rid myself of conflict, and then the questions become..” Why do I need to…’ make decisions, to take chances, to be courageous, to do different and to embrace behaviours which will be transformational from the inside out.’ ”
I don’t!
But Craig,
You don’t know me! You don’t know my situation!
Just kidding.
I’ve discovered that change is a cunning little bugger of a concept – just when you think you’ve changed enough, just when you think you are rolling along nicely, just when you turn around from looking at how far you’ve come, you discover there’s so much more you can do to grow and learn and be the best version of you.
Quite possibly the longest sentence in the world … but humour me.
I really liked the view from my new headspace. Up here, I can look down and remember where I used to be. But now I have turned around – and I see how much more there is to do.
Sigh.
Smoko’s over … back to work!!
Em
( ) x
Love you Craig (errrr you know what I mean) your passion with option A comes through the net. It has only been the past few weeks that I now do option A or at the minimum consider option A.
I see others that don’t move forward (i don’t like moving on and letting go they don’t work for me as terms) yet ask why they are still single, overweight or unhappy. Hell, I ask myself that, but something has changed recently, so I’ll continue Option A thank you.
“How about I stop trying to change, and just do, and stop reaching for something”
Great post as usual, such a simple concept but so effective. It also gives us hope: a new start everyday, its kind of exciting
Haha, KR17s comment made me laugh, it certainly sums Craig up!
xx
Hey Craig !
Lagging sadly behind (due to circumstances WAAAAY beyond my control… no bull !) but still wanted to comment. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” whacked me in the eye as a poster on the wall in an office I went to with my ex, way back in the early 70s. It grabbed me so firmly that I went home, dug out my poster paints that had been buried amongst my “stuff” since school days, found a clean sheet of art paper in my school portfolio and painted me up a poster. Made it like a psychedelic orange, red and yellow sunburst with the lettering in black, then proceeded to the garage where I found a couple of scraps of timber and fashioned a frame. My ex neighbour (now hubby) supplied a piece of glass and hey presto… I hung my masterpiece on my bedroom wall where I could see it the minute I opened my eyes (depending which way I was facing when I woke up, of course !) All these years down the track and a move to the next suburb later, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” still greets me every morning, and means just as much to me (probably more in fact) now as it did back then.
{{HUG}} Tina