A life of alignment; there’s a term. What exactly does it mean to live such a life? How do we know if we are living one? Is it important that we do? What happens when we’re not? What’s the opposite of a life of alignment? Is it a life of contradiction? Of incongruity? A dichotomous existence perhaps? All good questions.
Let’s start today’s discussion by answering the important question first:
Q. What happens when we live a life that’s not in alignment?
A. The net result is usually the absence of happiness. In the context of today’s exploration, when I say happiness, I’m talking about that deep, comforting and lasting kind of contentment, joy and inner peace; not some momentary shift in emotional state. This lack of happiness can manifest itself via a range of emotions, including but not limited to, frustration, disappointment, anger, embarrassment, fear, confusion and resentment.
Okay, let’s take a look at some of the ways that you and I create disconnection and contradiction, rather than harmony and alignment in our world. See if any of the following resonate on any level for you.
1. Core Values and Day-to-Day Behaviours
Are your typical behaviours a reflection of your core life values? Life values being those things – principles, beliefs, standards – by which you intend to live your life? If not, why not? If I was to secretly follow you with a camera for a week (without your knowledge of course), would I discover that the way you typically play out your day-to-day existence is a direct reflection of your key principles for living – that is, your core values – or would I observe that in many ways, you are living a life of contradiction and compromise? A dichotomy of sorts?
2. Public and Private Persona
Have you ever noticed how some really upstanding (whatever that means), decent and even spiritual people (I use that term very loosely) seem to have a little Jekyll and Hyde action going on? Or perhaps, a lot? Let’s just say that the public show is just that; a show. Their morals, language, standards and behaviours seem to… er, fluctuate depending on who’s watching. Then we have the alleged health freaks and fitness fanatics who secretly use drugs, get drunk often and eat their own bodyweight in junk food when nobody’s looking. And then they go about their business dispensing health advice to anyone stupid enough to listen. We call this fraudulent behaviour. And delusion. And it’s very common.
3. Goals and Decisions.
It’s amazing how many people constantly make decisions which are at odds with their goals. Like the guy who claims that he wants to live a long, healthy and happy life but chooses not to exercise, chooses to eat crap and chooses to put alcohol in his already-fat body. Reaching our goals requires consistent and courageous decision making; not to be confused with convenient, comfortable and piss-weak decision making. Are you consistently making decisions and taking action which will make the realization of your goals more likely? Or are you doing just the opposite?
4. Potential and Outcomes
Are you using your potential or wasting it? Do your results reflect what you’re capable of or do they reflect your lack of drive, discipline, consistency and courage? And don’t tell me about your situation, circumstances, environment or bad luck, tell me about you. Tell me all about what you can control; you. Are you the person who always finds a way to maximize, milk and massage your potential or are you the procrastinator? The excuse maker? The avoider? The complainer? The rationaliser? The victim? The waster of talent?
5. The Story and the Reality
Some of us are master story tellers. To ourselves and also others. Sometimes in an attempt to avoid reality, to avoid pain and to avoid having to deal with something that scares the crap out of us, we create a story. Quite often it’s a very reasonable sounding story too. After all, if you’re gonna talk shit, you best make it sound logical and reasonable, lest people figure you out. 
“It’s not a good time for me (to change) right now because I have blah, blah, blah, blah going on… but when blah, blah, blah happens and I have finished with blah, blah, blah… then I’ll take care of it.”
Sure you will Pinocchio.
The sad thing is that one day the story teller will wake up, she will be ten years older, he will still be telling stories, she will still be avoiding reality and he will still be miserable, compromised, frustrated and unfulfilled. When our typical behaviours are a reflection of our core values, when our public persona is a reflection of the private us, when our decisions take us towards our goals, when our outcomes are a reflection of our potential and when our story and our reality are the same, then we’re living a life of alignment.
Panic not, I have work to do too. We all do.
Ciao x
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Another good post, but again Craig, I am not 100% convinced with some things we are ready to do them, I could make a list of mine, but anyway. One important thing is this: I certainly did not live in alignment with who I was and made the wrong decisions and lost a lot. So all good Craig with this article.
I can’t convincingly talk shit….give myself away all the time…ho hum…Have an awesome day!!!
Good morning from NY, One question leads to another…
When I think of alignment, I think of goals.
Am I in alignment with my personal goals? Am I on the road of integrity that will lead me there?
Have I been distracted, Have my goals changed? Remember that we set our goals.
We decided who we are, what our personal core values will be and what we want to attract.
The goals may change as we have more life experience. But when you check in with your self ask:
Am I the person that I want to be? Am I authentic, all the time? Do I care so much about what other people
think of me that I am willing to change who I really am, to match who someone else wants me to be?
Alignment and balance work together.
Its easier for me to relate to the concept if we consider a life in balance. Do I have a balanced work and personal life?
Do I have the correct combination of fun and fitness? Do I attract the abundance that I need to pay my financial obligations?
Do I give as much as I take? Do I leave each place that I enter, a bit better than it was?
Is my spiritual self in balance with my physical & emotional self?
Its my experience that this is something that should be on your daily check list. along with did I brush my teeth or lock the door?
I am a Reiki Master and I assist with energetically balancing peoples chakras.
If you are not speaking your truth, if you are insecure about finances or relationships or deny your spiritual self.
You become out of balance.
I can bring you back into balance but you have to make the adjustments to stay in that place.
Once you know who you are and are confident about that truth, you are in alignment with your self and your goals.
The little unimportant stuff will simply fall away and you are left to live a beautiful authentic life.
We are always a lovely work in progress.
Thanks for the opportunity to look at this issue again.
Cheers Michael
I can teach you Chelle
Hi Dianne!
Wow, that’s intetesting stuff. Thanks for sharing – next time I’m in NY, I’m coming to see you for a “balance”.
Enjoy your week.
Hi Craig,
Thanks for putting Culture Club’s ‘Karma Chameleon’ in my head.
We all constantly change our outward appearance according to the various situations we find ourselves in. We tell ourselves that we do this because we don’t want to offend, rock the boat, be rejected, hurt the people we love or create trouble. But of course it’s because we are gutless.
Beaurepaires guarantees that correct wheel alignment will significantly extend the life of your tyres, your car will handle better, be safer to drive and enjoy greater fuel economy.
Do you think I could book in for a ‘life alignment’? Would I have to sit up on one of those scary hydraulic platform things? Would the usual three month guarantee apply?
Hmmmm.
I’m not quite ready to reveal the true me but I’m working on it.
Have a great day.
Christina xxx
Yes Christina, we could put you and your life up on the hoist but I don’t know that you’d enjoy it.
x
God, not sure if I ever want to meet you, you consistently find something to challenge me…better get to work:0 And stand up…
Well said, Craig – especially the part about the story and the reality/ If we focus on everything that’s outlined in parts 1 – 4, we can tell an excellent story based on fact, not fiction!
No need to call me God, Kate
Good observation Earl
Cheers
There is someething about your articles that are constantly challenging me and my thinking.
The good thing about these articles and comments is that it makes you realise that you are not alone. That i am not the only one dealing with these things.
I am defiantly not in alignment in any part of my life.Ok maybe that is taking it a bit too far. But i am defiantly not in allignment for most of my life.
Change in parts of my life freaks me out. but in other parts i am ready to change and have been changing.
I pay all this money for this gym membership that i dont use. Whats that saying about me.
I think that sometimes i tell stories to myself and dont even realise im doing it. I make excuses but they are not for other people. They are for myself becuase they make me feel more comfortable with not doing what i need to do.
The thing is i actually believe most of my excuses. They fool me more then they fool anyone else.
Man all this stuff is making me way too depressed. i dont think i have the belief in myself to make the changes. Too many times have i done it and failed.
Amanda
Hi Amanda
All I will say is that:
1. You have more than enough talent to re-invent yourself (whether you know it or believe it)
2. Your past doesn’t need to become your future
3. I’ll be cheering you on
Hi Craig
You are exactly right. It doesnt need to become my future. So heres to a new beginning. I am more then likely starting a new job next week so why not a new healthy lifestyle to go with it.
Thanks for the encouragment and for cheering me on. Im going to need it.
Amanda
Craig
Am I the only one who had to get a dictionary and look up the word dichotomous?
Great post, people are like addicts chasing instant gratification as an antidote to their lack of alignment, but it is only a short term fix and they are back where they started looking for another fix.
I am by no means perfect in fact far from it, I have lived most of my life out of alignment, but I don’t want to anymore and I won’t. I am taking back my personal power that I seemed so readily to give away.
I am a week or more behind in your posts
Craig,
Me again, just wanted to say hello to Amanda and that I really related to her post. Try not to feel to down for not progressing as fast as you want (believe me I have been there) the very fact that you recognise that you are not in alignment is progress in itself, keep plugging away.
I thought I had deleted that last sentence on my last post as I did not finish it.
Hi Amanda,
I understand how you feel however the only failure in life is the one that doesnt get up again….I too tried so many time to make changes in my life and they were either short lived… or those areas didnt change! And well I was ‘honestly’ trying to the best of my ability..
.. I supose something I learnt was that I dont have to do a 360 degree turn but rather tweak in each area of importance to me a little and even a small turn up that is a maintainable base line consistently cover times produces massive results and most importantly SET UP IS EVERTHING. its like trying to ride a bike wehereb you havent bothered to tighten up the wheels. It is not going to matter how much you ride it, how hard you ride it, it just wont work. You have to take the time to re alignn the wheels, and set the bike in the direction you want…
You have not FAILED amanda, just get back up, keep backing up and find what works for YOU!
Hi Craig
Decided to check out your Blog as I haven’t done so in a while (sorry)! Very interesting reading.
I’m having a big change at work and finding the change very hard to accept, I will eventually, just takes me a while. A few things need to be ironed out and I’m sure in the end we’ll all come to a mutual agreement. it’s just the ‘in between’ stuff I don’t like. I’m starting to think that maybe I’m not the right person for this job. Anyway, by the end of this month, I should know where I stand…I have a good boss who I know supports me, so we’ll see. It’s just the ‘other side’ I’m not sure off.
Anyway, I hadn’t meant to go on but obviously I needed to get this ‘off my chest’ so to speak. I’ll let you know what happens end of this month but in the meantime, I will check out your articles more often.
Have a great day Craig and keep on writing the ‘good stuff’
Fran x
Hi Ginny and Kate
Thanks for your advice. Your encouragement means a lot. I am happy to say that even though my eatng today (which is what i need to change most at the moment) has not been perfect, it has defiantly been a step in the right direction.
I am ding my best to take it one step and one meal at a time. Not even a meal, one minute at a time. because there are many times when it is not time to eat that i pig out on junk food.
So i have been trying to limit myself and even though i could go and eat a lot at the moment. I am just telling myself it is nearly dinner time and i can wait. It is just going to take a little while for my body to catch up to my brain and get used to not eating all the time.
Thanks again for your support and encouragment.
This group is really good bunch. They are always willing to help other people.
Amanda, if you read this, yes it can be depressing, having all these things and trying, making excuses.
But take for example my decision to repair and heal, for good, my relationship with someone that has been a minefield. It’s in my alignment to heal with this person, maybe it’s selfish, but that’s what’s going to bring me what I need, and hopefully what that other person needs. I am not giving up; I respect boundaries, but we need to heal this. And I need to change so that I never again feel the fear of abandoment and bring it into reality. That’s not aligned with my new goals.
And, Amanda, you hit the nail on the head – in some areas change is easy (my current exercise program), but in others I’m not. Although I did enrol for university today
And I sang karoke on stage on Friday night LOL
But Craig, with the best respect, I always think you are right with there is no good time for something, especially change and to just do it, but there are just some things I was not ready for, healing this relationship, driving a car again, working full time, change will come but in my time.
Can’t wait to see littlejohn’s comments on this.
Living a life of alignment is something to work towards for sure, but on the other hand, living its extreme will also provide a needed wake up call. Whether we do or we don’t – life is always working on us…the only difference is our perception of time.
Wow loved this.. Made me think about all the lies I have heard from my teenagers and their friends the last few years. Many addicted to drugs.
I could also see myself in the lies I tell myself. I think this calls for a t-shirt. “sure you will pinocchio”
HI Amanda,
Go girl, that is exactly the resistance you need.. even one minute sometimes.. we are not looking for perfection only your best for where you are at… We get stronger by doing exactly what you are doing:) GOOD WORK, KEEP IT COMING!
Kate
Hi Craig & Postee’s,
, the inner me that is scared to reveal it’s truth out of fear.
I am new to this and this is the first time I have posted on a website. I am definitely not living a life of alignment and aspire to bolster my innie to be more of an outie. No not my belly button dear friends
Bit of a double edged sword as the inner me is both beautiful and wants to share but is also ugly and wants to vent it’s anger in the most ineloquent way. Is that a word?? So I have a turbulent inner life leading me by the nose, perhaps a pinocchio one at times and I am hating myself right now.
Yeh I got a story too and I do get stuck in it. I’m a big ‘ol scaredy cat and major avoider. Paralysis by overanalysis and other catastrophic events goin’ on upstairs. Starting things and not finishing them and feeling ashamed? Does anyone else suffer this way? Looking for a few hugs and a dose of good humour to help me along the way. I think I have come to the right place.
They say no man is an island, so I am daring to journey away from my comfortable/yet very uncomfortable self imposed islander status and swimming uncomfortably (phew unfit and out of breath) to other shores. I want more from my life!!
I have loved reading other people’s views and have enjoyed sharing. I see this as the first ‘real’ step in my ‘active’ phase of life mentally and physically.
May we all have our own huggy bear inside of us.
Hugs and roars
Kimba the White Lion
Kimba the White Lion