The following article is a re-working of one of my older posts. It’s around fifty percent new but still one hundred percent relevant. Recent conversations have prompted me to tweak it, buff it, give it a little more grunt and wheel it out of the garage again. I believe it’s a message many of us need to take on board. More than once. 
Cosmic Plan or Cosmic Crap?
I’ve never been one to sit on my hands and wait for some cosmically pre-ordained life purpose to miraculously reveal itself via a series of dreams, visions or prophecies. Or for an angel to appear at my window with hand-written instructions from God. Although an angel would be pretty cool. Neither have I been the type to buy into the widely-held view of destiny and I’ve mostly considered (the concept of) fate to be the refuge of the indecisive, the lazy, the fearful and the deluded. But that’s just my (not-very-popular) paradigm. For many people, the traditional concept of destiny provides a level of comfort and if there’s one thing we (often) fearful, lazy creatures like; it’s comfort. In some ways, destiny is our (perceived) escape clause: life’s all predetermined anyway, so what’s the point of working hard, taking chances, getting uncomfortable and setting goals?
Destiny Schmestiny
People talk about destiny all the time. Especially when they’re talking about big-picture life stuff. Or when they’re rationalising why something didn’t (or won’t) eventuate. “Don’t worry Darling; it’s not meant to be”. The term destiny seems to have an almost romantic, mystical, feel-good kind of vibe about it. “That was always going to be her destiny” (as the orchestra comes to life in the background). So it seems that no matter what she did (thoughts, behaviours, reactions, decisions, plans, goals) her life, or part thereof, was predetermined by destiny. It was always going to unfold in a certain way. Despite her; not because of her. Apparently some unseen, cosmic force was firmly behind the steering wheel of her life. She didn’t really have to touch the controls because her life path (destiny) was pre-ordained and non-negotiable.
Am I the only person who considers this thinking to be a load of self-limiting, mumbo-jumbo crap? Am I missing something obvious? Why on earth would anyone buy into this? Oh, that’s right; it requires less effort and courage than the alternative.
Beyond our Control
In my opinion, one of the most disempowering and destructive notions for us incredibly capable beings to embrace is the traditional concept of destiny. Why? Because it teaches us that our life, and what we might do, be, create and achieve in this life, is somehow beyond our control. Some people embrace this kind of thinking because it takes pressure off them to steer their ship, to shape their own future and to be responsible for the results they do and don’t produce in their world. Take a look at what conventional ‘wisdom’ teaches us about destiny:
De-sti-ny (noun):
1) The predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
2) The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one’s lot.
3) A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
If the above dictionary definitions are to be accepted and believed then I may as well sit on the couch and let life happen to me, around me and despite me, because apparently, it’s all gonna eventuate in a particular way no matter what. It’s predetermined. Inevitable. We’re all just helpless passengers on destiny’s back. I wish someone had shared this with me earlier; I wouldn’t have wasted so much time making those tough decisions, taking those chances, facing my fears, dealing with my destructive habits, overcoming those obstacles, going to university, working hard and busting my arse to create my best life.
And people believe this “preordained, inevitable and beyond human power” crap? Give me a bucket.
I’ll create my own destiny thanks.
You?
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Yep, me too, Craig.
In the past I have been guilty of running the destiny line. But I like this “Me Determined” paradigm because it is empowering and I now refuse to give my power away. To anyone. When I was of the “pre-determined” group, I was unhappy, unfulfilled, frustrated and lacking direction. How is that anyone’s destiny?
Em
( ) x
The problem with the concept of destiny is really spelt out in your article. Many would argue like the Big Pig song (remember them from the 80’s) “but you can’t change the course of your destiny”.
Let’s take an example.
Just say you like X person. The new age police would go ‘oohh you can’t say you want him/her. Leave behind the free will and if they are married arguements for a second, yes if that other didn’t want you then fine, but to say ‘it was not meant to be” is rot.
Why this example. Well, maybe the destiny was to take a lesson from that person. Same with a career. Maybe the person was not right at the time or the job was not what you wanted but who said you can’t have the same person or job another time, or something the same. No these “it is not meant to be” lines are disempowering. Destiny is disempowering and i’m glad you, someone at last won’t buy into this rubbish.
An angel would be cool but
– they do exist but they are simply guides, and I don’t believe god sits there saying X will have Y and Y will have Z happen to them. I mean after all people rant about free will, how about using that free will to change your destiny?
He who does not risk, does not drink champaign.
I’ll keep creating my own destiny too, Craig.
What you’re saying totally rings true as it applies to taking action and making progress in our lives.
But I have a little soft spot for the romantic idea of destiny.
If you look at #3:
The predetermined course of events considered beyond human power or control.
That’s pretty much how love feels.
Sorry if you need another bucket now
Oh yeah…………………an angel to wave her wand and change our ‘destiny forever without hard work’ hahaha
More money, fit lean buff toned body, beachside house, only blood sweat and hard work when we ‘feel’ like it, not when it’s necessary!
I agree, there is never gonna be an angel or pill to make life permanently ‘easy’ for us or if we think we are in a ‘rut’ to change our destiny for good! I’m guessing Craig you find similarites between the word ‘rut’ and ‘destiny’ as they both are limiting words!
I have to say, there is still a spot for someone to become the worlds richest human! They just need to invent a ’superpill’ for humans to make permanently getting and staying in shape fitness wise and financially effortless!
Cheers Pip
Yay! Someone else agress with this point of view as well! I am so unpopular amongst my friends when confess I dont believe in fate, destiny or that ‘everything happens for a reason’ or is just plain ol ‘meant to be’.
I think each person has many possible destiny’s . . . which one you get is entirely up to you
I agree, and one of the biggest cop-outs some people use is God (and religion). If someone you love dies, it wasn’t “meant to be” nor was it “God calling her/him home” – and the biggest delusion of all – God has another role for that person – his purpose will be revealed in time.
To me, that is the ultimate handing-over of your life, and the biggest ever cop-out, but it’s also the best way to get people to hate you – by pointing it out! I have the most respect for religions that say people are here to determine their own lives and God lets them make their own mistakes – or create their own purpose. Not many of them, though!
How comforting it must be, to give a “being” control of your life – no responsibility, no need to act. No wonder religion is apparently growing in popularity again.
Hi Craig,
Yep. I’m in heated agreement with this one too.
In a Sydney newspaper on the weekend, there was a question to the resident cosmologist/astrologist ‘Yasmin’.
Question: ‘I would like to know how soon I will be moving, where I’ll be moving to and what job I’ll do? I was born at 7am on June 23, 1958 in Johannesburg, South Africa.’
What the hell? All I could picture was this woman sitting in her loungeroom waiting for ‘destiny’ to knock on her door calling: ‘Come on then, Love. You’re going to be a magician’s assistant in Uzbekistan. Pack your shortest skirt and your highest heels.’
To my enormous relief, Yasmin replied by saying ‘You do have control over what happens next in your life. I strongly believe we can have a powerful effect on our own lives. … Work out the answers and start making plans.’
Hmmm. I’m thinking that if a professional astrologist can acknowledge the degree of impact we have on our own lives, then it’s probably time to let go of the ‘destiny delusion’. Yay, Yasmin.
Thanks for the reminder, Craig.
Christina xxx
I do believe we all have a fate. (death) … but more importantly I don’t agree that you just get what you do etc etc… I do believe people have callings, missions and visions… How else do you explain why some people LOVE surfing whilst other love knitting? How do you explain those pictures that you see in your minds eye? How do you explain those chance meetings that changed everything in your life?
If that is not destiny what is… I mean how egotisical for me to say ‘I came up with these ideas’ all by myself…
I am not saying that if I see myself surfing … and sit on my arse it is going to happen … but I am saying that if you are given a vision and you have the determination and put in the hard yards to pursue it…you will probably find this is what you were born to do! And you will be good damn good at it.. not to mention make a massive difference to many lives!
Destiny Schmestiny
I understand your point here but to be honest Craig some people have put all the plans in the world, done the work and the reward/outcome is NOT there… so what is that about… are they on the wrong path? Was it just not meant to be ? OR even with her hands on ALL the controls it didn’t happen!
She had the courage, did the work and couldn’t have put in more effort… Then why again are the results not there? Just maybe she is working on the wrong path, possibly from the wrong motivation … Who knows.. Im just throwing it out there…
Sure we may be traditionally Lazy, fearful creatures but in all honesty wouldn’t it be scarier to believe in destiny if we were like this… that whatever we did it was how it was meant o be … personally I think humans are too controlling to even want to believe in this…and hence ignore what they are meant to do as they don’t see it as being POWERFUL enough!….. however maybe after hundreds of people have got uncomfortable, set goals, done work and NOT achieved we do need to look at a possible pre determined destiny.. in which yes we take part… part is always going to be driven towards that one MISSION.
So if we are to take a look at what conventional ‘wisdom’ teaches us about destiny:
1) The predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
2) The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one’s lot.
3) A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
Unfortunately the law of destiny does work.. in some cases, It works in ageing, it works with the weather, it works with the ocean, it works with cycles, and it works with both life and death…it even works with the stock market (which is a gamble)… But even with all of this beyond our control we can influence the rate we age, what we wear in the sun, if we use an umbrella and plan for both the births and some deaths in our lives…
Good Morning! I absolutely agree with you Craig… I have been a couch sitter, fearing life and the people in it and just expecting that something will come my way because I am owed it (what a brat)!
Nowadays I am looking to focus on choosing my own adventure, making decisions, and creating my destination minute by minute rather than waiting for it to appear through luck, chance or fortune.
This post reminds me of a joke I heard a while ago!
John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray.
”Listen God,” John said. ”I know I haven’t been perfect but I really need to win the lottery. I don’t have a lot of money. Please help me out.” And off he went.
A week went by, and he hadn’t won the lottery, so he walked into a synagogue. ”Come on, God,” he said. ”I really need this money. My mom needs surgery and I have bills to pay. Please… please let me win the lottery.” And off he went.
A week went by, and he didn’t win the lottery. So, he went to a mosque and started to pray again. ”You’re starting to disappoint me, God,” he said. ”I’ve prayed and prayed. If you just let me win the lottery, I’ll be a better person. I don’t have to win the jackpot, just enough to get me out of debt. I’ll give some to charity, even. Please please PLEASE just let me win the lottery.” John thought this did it, so he got up and walked outside.
The clouds opened up and a booming voice said, ”John, please please PLEASE… BUY A TICKET!!!!”
While I think a lot of what we do is in our own hands, I think there are some things that you need to let take their own course to help you find your way. With some things in life I find I analyze and question and over-think until things become blurry. You need to keep it simple and have the belief that it will happen for you. I find it’s more about faith than destiny.. and certainly I don’t mean this in regard to weight loss.. but you can do so much upp to a point and then you just need to put your faith in something bigger.. ask it of the universe and believe it will happen, and it will come back to you.
I don’t believe in destiny. What I do believe are the results of my actions. Everything in this world is cause and effect. What we do will always have a reciprocal effect.
We are the master of our fate, we are the captain of our soul.
Claire, couldnt have said it better!
craig..
methinks youre too black & white on this….
there are many things beyond our control…and many things we need to learn to submit and surrender to….and many things that we need to accept and work around….
i think what you are describing is personal ownership and personal responsibility…
….b/c the concept of ‘destiny’ connotes what eventually befalls us after we’ve done what we can…
so there!
Hi Craig,
I usually just like to read your articles but was wondering if you could do a post on your theories on getting to sleep and more importantly the time you wake up, number hours sleep etc.
I think its sort of related to creating your own destiny
Hey Team.
Johnny here.
The big guy is stuck in Canberra choosing to “React Consciously and Responsibly” as his plane’s been delayed for four hours.
He’ll be back tomorrow to respond to you all
Hey Team. Thanks for all your thoughts and insights re destiny. There are some interesting (and varied) points of view which I think I’ll explore in a post in the near future. Enjoy your day. Chat tomorrow..
Hmm I agree and disagree.
Laziness equating to comfort equalling ‘destiny’ = not a cool concept.
Howevvvvver…
Destiny is a fantastic way of reminding ourselves that no matter what we choose or don’t choose we do not have any control over the choices othes make…thats all in the hands of……..
You got it. Sometimes no matter what or who we are, if we give it the best we got.. the most we can……it doesn’t always work out.
Destiny and its concept is like anything, if its misused or used as an excuse then it loses its real value.
Violent agreement here. This life is what you make of it. Period. It is not “god’s plan” or “destiny” or “fate” that determine whether or not I will be successful, healthy, thin, fit, wealthy, or popular. It is up to me to go out and make it happen.
First article I have read of yours!
Interesting however I know that some things in life are predetermined; for example, Death.
All we can do is influence the timing and impact of events on our life but we cannot stop them.
The process for doing this is you must first understand the current situation, including any complications. Only when you understand a situation and the complications around can you answer the question of the best solution. Now the hard part! Put the solution into practice.
Note. People who jump straight to solution without understanding the current situation and complications are doomed to failure.
Hi Craig,
What is more interesting and exciting than creating the life you want to live? No matter what are the problems we have to solve and the obstacles we have to overcome, is there any bigger hope than hoping your dreams can come true? Is there a greater satisfaction than having the power to do whatever is possible (always with respect to both ourselves and our fellow human beings) to achieve them, to say “I can do this” and then see it happening?