I probably don’t need to mention that the following post is a satirical piece but just in case someone misses the obvious irony and sarcasm, I thought I would point it out. Wouldn’t want to offend. 
“If there’s one thing I can’t tolerate, it’s intolerance.”
I must say, it’s something of a burden being right all the time. Knowing what others don’t. Seeing what others can’t. I often wonder when all the ignorant people will stop trying to think for themselves and start paying attention to me. While I respect their enthusiasm and good intentions, they are clearly misguided and delusional. And potentially dangerous. I can’t stand by while crackpots try to fill young minds with all that free-thinking, no-rules, feel-good, mumbo-jumbo.
Their dangerous version of the truth.
It’s not that I want to coerce, manipulate or intimidate anyone but when they insist on having their own ideas, values and beliefs, what alternative do they leave me? We all know it’s for their own good, so what’s the big deal? Sure, they all love the ‘idea’ of cultural, social, political and religious diversity and tolerance but as if that’s ever gonna work. Especially when the majority are wrong. Maybe it’s time to step into reality?
My reality.
It’s pretty simple. In life, there are two groups of people: those who are right and those who are wrong. Now, if the second group would stop being so self-righteous, stubborn and problematic, life would be a lot easier for them. In fact, for all of us. Those of us who are right are only doing what’s best for those who aren’t. The ignorant majority.
In reality, I’m being selfless. It’s my calling. My mission. My responsibility to humanity. It’s for the greater good.
And besides, why should I tolerate all the weirdos anyway? Have you seen how they dress? And behave? And speak? Clearly, something needs to be done. Giving a voice to the deluded serves no positive purpose and merely distracts the masses from the truth.
It’s a good thing I happened along when I did.
As you may have guessed, my group and I have the only true spiritual hotline to You-Know-Who. Naturally. So when it comes to all things mystical and eternal, the rest of those pseudo-religious-types best put away their alleged “sacred texts” and start paying attention to the only divinely-inspired book: ours.
Of course.
If everyone would simply fall into line, there’d be a lot less fighting, suffering, division and disconnection. Don’t they see it’s their inability to conform that started all these problems in the first place? They think they know what’s best but clearly they don’t. I do. How could they possibly know? Some people are born to follow and pay attention. They should embrace that.
Of course, with my enlightenment and omnipotence comes great responsibility and how irresponsible and selfish would I be if I allowed the misguided collective to have a voice? Imagine the kind of damage that could do. That’s where all the problems started in the first place.
People need rules. And leadership. People thrive on rules. And leadership. Encouraging young people – or any people, for that matter – to think for themselves is the beginning of the end. If we were to allow everyone to think, reason and believe whatever they want – with no rules, boundaries or consequences – where would it all end? Before long we would have a generation of people who would listen to anything, accept anyone and tolerate all kinds of ideologies, philosophies and theologies.
And where on earth would that get us?
*Note: Hi Guys. I’m writing this post-script a couple of hours after I published the above post. I just received an email from somebody who is worried that I might have turned into a self-righteous, intolerant prick over the weekend. Good grief. Clearly, my disclaimer at the start (the one where I explained that today’s instalment was satire) didn’t work for everyone. I hate to have to spell it out but it seems I must. This post is a piss-take written to highlight the danger of intolerance and intolerant people. Okay, deep breath. Group hug. ( )
* Don’t forget my new kid’s book (The Angry Ant) is out now! Love this article? Sign up for my FREE Email Newsletter today to receive more articles like this, and get my FREE Ebook!
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig. I totally got it and totally loved it. Very clever and very provocative. I read your stuff because you say what you think, you challenge me and you’re not a people-pleaser. Great stuff.
Kaz x
Love it..very creative. Can I link to facebook?
Kate
It looks like we may have to duke it out Craig. I thought I was the only one who was right. Just ask me.
Hi Craig,
Thanks for the insight into the mind of the intolerant tosser.
While it may have seemed for a moment you were channeling the thoughts of Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot or Mao (intolerant and self-righteous attitudes are by no means the exclusive realm of the religious), the scary thing is that such a point of view is not uncommon today.
In fact, many people who subscribe to the ‘if you could only agree with me, then there’d be no need to argue’ theory often look like normal people. They walk amongst us. They vote. Sheesh!
The older I get, the more I realise that anyone who claims to have THE answer is self-deluded at best and dangerous at worst. Faith (not just in the religious sense but also faith in a political ideal, charismatic leader or lifestyle) should never be an excuse for narrow-minded bigotry or coercion.
Anyone who has the humility and sense of reality to add ‘but, of course, I could be wrong’ when espousing their point-of-view immediately goes up in my estimation.
So, there’s my two cents worth. But, of course, I could be wrong
Love your work,
Christina xxx
“I often wonder when all the ignorant people will stop trying to think for themselves and start paying attention to me.”
” In life, there are two groups of people: those who are right and those who are wrong… Those of us who are right are only doing what’s best for those who aren’t. ”
… Priceless … & a timely reminder to all of us – who can honestly say they have never had one of these thoughts …
LOVE your stuff
Hmmm, I knew someone like that. Then I walked away because I couldn’t tolerate their intolerance towards me anymore.
I think of ignorance in a similar way. Unfortunately though some people dont know what they dont know and need a good friend (or someone who can at least plant a seed) to tell them they have a big blind spot and can make their world a better place by being congnisant of it…not an easy thing to do….and then if they continue to choose the intelerant and ignorant interactions with the universe then the kama bus will sort it out.
I find it hard to tell some people stuff like that – maybe fearful of the confrontation / rejection to some degree, or not willing enough to get uncomfortable….
….or is it just me being intolerant of their intolerance !!??
Diversity is king
Travel safe friends the journey is long.
I’ve had to tolerate many ignorant people. People that only see their way, want their way, or believe their way is the right way.
I’ve put up so I don’t cause any trouble or make a scene. But after having to shut up for so long I’m not prepared to put up anymore.
These people have become too intolerable to be around. Too draining to deal with or socialise with.
I have a choice and that is I’d rather keep my energy for myself and be around tolerable people.
personally I just dont reward behaviour i dont like.. I really TRY to live my life by ‘live and let live’
Of course Kate.
Loved the piece – very funny. Is this intolerance or a satirye about self opinionated people? I dont think I am self opinionated but there are many things in the world around around me that I cannot tolerate. Cruelty and injustice for all life forms are up there. Unfairness and discrimination dont sit well either. Violence is definately not my cup of tea. OMG does this mean I am intolerant?
I remember a time when I felt really close and connected with someone.
A time when I felt light and playful with someone, or when laughter flowed easily, and when I could tell my deepest secrets and it would be accepted.
I also visualise a wonderful feeling of safety.
If I open up would feel safe?
I took risks when I needed to feel safe.
From an early age I was independant and in control of my emotions and I just knew without being told, I was safe when I was with someone who is very accepting, caring, and compassionate.
The issue I soon learnt growing up is that no one is completely reliable when it comes to these qualities.
Most of us have bad days, when we are irritable or grumpy. What happens to our safety when the other person’s acceptance, tolerance and caring goes away? Are they still tolerant?
My sense of safety and tolerance comes from within as well as without. But where are the same people out there?
I have become a person, especially with myself, who is consistently accepting, caring and compassionate. I am strong enough within to not take another’s bad day personally. I became centered enough within to stand up myself when another gets angry or blaming.
I become powerful enough within to stay open-hearted in the face of fear and conflict.
However, when I come into contact with a person whom I thought I was safe with, I am still triggered into fear – fear of rejection, of domination, of abandonment, of losing myself.
I behave in a way that creates inner and relationship safety.
On the down-side I abandon myself and become reactive – getting angry, complying, withdrawing, resisting, blaming, defending, explaining, and so on.
None of these behaviours are really me, nor do they contribute to my safety.
I am still on my journey.
Deep breathes……………
Hello Craig,
Regrettably your post is a description of how I actually think. Lucky for me I see a psychologist every few weeks so I can get that way of thinking slapped out of me. Surprisingly I act like my poo does not stink but suffer from sefl doubt. I set my goals low so I can always achieve them. Thanks. Michael
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