Yep, Me Too
Some people are surprised to learn that I have issues. To be honest, I’m surprised that they’re surprised. I spoke with such a person yesterday. You’re surprised that I have issues? Are you kiddin’ me? You think that because I speak to audiences, write on this site, coach people and occasionally sound a little bit clever (very occasionally) that I don’t ever eat my own bodyweight in cheesecake, tell a lie, do stupid stuff, hurt someone, make an arse of myself, shoot myself in the foot or seek approval like the needy, fat eight year-old I once was? Of course I do.
Please love me.
Shit. There I go again.
You think I never have moments of self-doubt, fear, insecurity or anxiety? What am I… a robot? A plant? Of course, I have issues. It comes with having a beating heart. Show me a person with no issues and I’ll show you Kelvin, my dancing magic pony. He’s pink and loves modern jazz.
A Few Thoughts About Issues:
1. People who say they have no issues often have the most.
2. Issues are not a sign of weakness or failure but, rather, humanity.
3. If I was to wait for all my issues to be fixed before I allowed myself to write, coach, teach or help, you wouldn’t be reading this now.
4. Issues help keep our (insatiable) ego in check. They ground us, keep us humble and remind us that we’re all a little bit weird. And special. 
5. An emotional issue can’t be resolved with a physical solution. Not surprisingly, a leaner body, some extra muscle, some new boobs or even a penis extension (ouch) won’t lead to nirvana or inner peace.
6. Mr Mid-Life Crisis who buys himself a sports car (as some kind of solution) will still have his issues. And a nice car. And some more debt.
7. Sometimes, it’s better to let go of our anger, resentment, bitterness and jealousy issues rather than spend years trying to work them through.
8. Some people have an amazing ability to create major issues out of very minor speed humps. Things only have the meaning (intensity, volume, power, influence) that we give them.
9. Sadly, many parents will pass on their destructive habits, behaviours, beliefs and attitudes to their children. Not really the ideal inheritance.
10. Our society’s obsession with perfection is destructive. The issue-less person doesn’t exist. Wanting to improve (learn, grow, adapt) is positive. Intelligent even. Chasing perfection is a recipe for frustration, anxiety and misery.
Dysfunction Central
So, if you’ve got issues, welcome to the club. It’s a universal one. We meet here each day at Dysfunction Central. If you have zero issues, say hello to the Easter Bunny for me. If, from time to time, you feel like you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, qualified enough, worthy enough or whatever enough to do something spectacular with your life, welcome to that club too. It’s also a whopper.
Over the years, there have been many times when I felt like I wasn’t good enough, talented enough or qualified enough to do particular things. But in the middle of all that insecurity and self-doubt I knew that my feelings need not determine my decisions, behaviours or outcomes. I often chuckle at the fact that the ex-fat kid with no qualification in psychology gets paid to talk to large audiences about how we humans are wired. Fortunately, I know that I can do some amazing stuff despite my numerous flaws and issues.
I know you can too.
* Attention Melbournians: Don’t forget, I will be facilitating a Renovate Your Body Workshop next Monday evening (Oct. 25) here in Melbourne. Click here to learn more.
* Don’t forget my new kid’s book (The Angry Ant) is out now! Love this article? Sign up for my FREE Email Newsletter today to receive more articles like this, and get my FREE Ebook!
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I’d like to meet Kelvin..he sounds cute! Now, when I say that I know I REALLy must have some kind of issue…is Kelvin friends with the Tooth fairy??? Coz I’d like a new front tooth..the dental bills from this chipped one are starting to get annoying…
I have a few issues – well a pretty long list if I think hard – stop my brain hurts. And I do have daily moments of self-doubt, fear, insecurity and anxiety.
I like number 4…
4. Issues help keep our (insatiable) ego in check. They ground us, keep us humble and remind us that we’re all a little bit weird. And special.
I really like people who are humble they keep me grounded; they can tell I am weird and special and make me laugh.
I learn from them;
To thank people;
Redirect Praise,
That I Don’t Have to Be Right,
It Wasn’t Me Who Got Me Here,
Don’t Need To Be First,
Too Appreciate Everything,
Listen More Than I Speak,
Don’t Judge Others
The Easter Bunny is real isn’t he or she? I rainbow also came out this morning and I ‘made a wish’ is that weird? I know I am not 6ish anymore.
Fi XX
: )
Be back to comment soon……just dealing with some issues!
O’h Hi everyone – Fi again
I just thought I would share with you all a little tune i sing to myself in front of the mirror…..or driving… nothing like belting it out on the freeway….like visualising I am some sorta rock chic…not,
when I have moments of self-doubt, fear, insecurity and anxiety
sing along….
I am woman hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
’cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again
CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
’cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
’cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul
………………….music works
“10. Our society’s obsession with perfection is destructive. Chasing perfection is a recipe for frustration, anxiety and misery.”
I had a friend who wanted the perfect boyfriend, she told me that she had a tickbox list of what they had to be, one cross in the box and they were not in the hunt. She died a lonely lady at 35!
I think Number 3 is great! Too often we think that we need to have everything figured out before we do what we really want to do. I spent a very long time in a miserable job because I didn’t know what else I wanted to do. So I did nothing. Genius huh? Guess I was waiting for the Easter Bunny to come and tell me what to do next. He didn’t show, so I just quit anyway and figured I would work it out along the way.
Issues??? I thought we all had to be perfect before we tried writing, speaking, or coaching on this stuff????
Actually, I did think like that in the past – which brought up more issues of feeling like a fraud, no matter how honest I was about how I was working on this stuff myself.
Guess I better cancel that penis extension I just ordered…
Issues are like opinions (and bum holes), everybody has got one.
You are a very hard person to “suss” out Mr Harper, Mmmm
Now C2, you know that I have my fair share of issues too and that double bloody negatives!!!!!! are just one of those things that annoy the shyte out of me! Ploise!
Did you want the Melbournians to remember something or definitely forget it?! Normally my OCD nature could let it go cause the message above is such a good one but Mikayla’s fund raising (and her education en-route) is an important cause and I want them to remember it! Please remember to attend to support her!
If anyone believes they have no issues, I can give them a few of mine – or a lot if they want. Having a glorious Sunday – not dealing with any issues today.
You don’t need it Lyman.
(I heard)
HI Craig,
Thanks for a great article! So so true and reminded me of some thoughts i just had recently. I run spin classes and have been doing so for few years now. I have the same level of training as the other instructors and so technically speaking we are all on the same page. However…in the past year my class numbers have exploded to the point where i always have full classes with long waiting lists. This coincided with the introduction of a new addition to my classes. I started telling funny TRUE things that had happened to me in the past week. This was at the expense of myself…..weird and unusual things are part of my life and i regularly stuff up and make wrong decisions and i thought i would start sharing them with the class. They always laugh themselves stupid and walk out of there feeling so much better about thier own issues!!! This really took off to the point where if i had forgotten to tell a story they INSISTED on it during the cool down. Thankfully i have so many issues that i am never short of a funny REAL story.
This has been going for a year or more now and the members told me that the reason they prefer my classes is that i am REAL and NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT to the world. I can have a laugh at myself and i certainly dont put myself up as being perfect. They have told me that this makes them feel so comfortable and that they too are ok…just the way they are. Nobody in my class is expected to be perfect as i still have not met that person yet so have no idea what that would look like. We all have a massive laugh…at my expense….and everyone feels ‘normal’…..’normal’ being that we all have so many issues and that its ok. So many times in the gym environment we see ‘diva’ instructors striving for perfection and living in some false shallow little world of their own. Real people cant relate to that. Those ‘perfect’ divas spend so much energy hiding their issues that they must be exhausted at the end of the day….and heaven forbid what would happen if they were ‘discovered’ for who they really are.
Thanks for this article i am going to show it to my class members
I did that strategically C1 so that you would jump in and give it (her) another plug… see it worked! Cheers Fella
I’m lovin’ that Stormy Bear – good for you. You members are lucky to have you. Keep being you. It works.
I thought Kelvin was a unicorn?
Hi Craig,
Issues… I think I have many but really they’re the same few needs manifested into a handful of different areas that consume a lot of my life, brain capacity and energy.
It’s not until we look hard at ourselves that we can see this.
And yes, a new pair of boobs doesn’t fix them. I tried that too.
xoxo
Love your ability to make me laugh! Hope you have a sensational day! Cheers Dianna
No Damian, the unicorn is Brian and he’s not magic but he does speak seven languages. Silly.
Craig you always seem to make me laugh and yes you are so loved lol. I just want you to know when my issues seem to be getting the best of me I can always count on your blogs to lighten the load. This article was perfect for me because i have been writing a book on healing for four years now and just when I think I I have learmed my lesson life throws me another curve and I say well how can I write about a healing when I am not even healed. Guess what we will have issues till the day we die. So with that said I should have my book finished by the end of this year,
Lots of love,
Sandy
Hi Craig,
I like no. 7 ‘ better to let go of destructive issues instead of spending years working them through’. The problem is how do we let them go if we don’t work them through. Don’t we always read or are told, the only way through a problem is to ‘work it out’ in order to move on.
If something isn’t resolved I find that as much as I try to ignore it,try to accept the other person wasn’t aware of their actions at the time (crap) it can still remain as a trigger point for me.
I guess I haven’t learnt how to let go of that trigger point yet -another lesson to learn!
I also don’t enjoy socialising with people who act like they are in control and don’t have any issues in their lives. They seem to have this urge to dictate or criticise other people’s thoughts or actions instead of looking at their own. At times I feel like slapping them silly because of their smart arse attitude!
I believe we all have issues in our lives, just different ones . Life isn’t perfect and as much as we wish it would be ,by working through our issues we can continue to grow and be happier people.
It is people that have grown that people are always listening to or learning from.
Stephen how did you know she was lonely when she passed? To remember someone based on her issue; I don’t know. Artemis youi complicate things. But to something positive: at last someone who has written it is ok to have issues! Gold!
Wow good post. Issues are what drives us though, life happens. Working through the issues makes us grow. We can’t grow unless we learn to deal with our issues.
Kelvin does sound pretty!
I like learning about people and their issues. It makes me feel better that maybe my issues are different or similar from them.
Issues are good.
Hi Artemis,
Don’t know if you will read this – but I am an absolute control freak and I act exactly like you describe around heaps of people until they get to know me (can sometimes take a year – apologies for that on behalf of all control freaks). I don’t like it either because it means I am hard to get to know – I might lose control.
I resolve to lose more control but not in a risky or negative way (cos thats not cool). In a positive way that will show that I am not a complete robot – I also have emotions and issues (which surprises a lot of people).
Thanks Artemis for your post.
Hi Mick,
am reading your post and nice to hear how honest you are.
your welcome
artemis
Kelvin has a distinct yellow tinge.
What on earth am I rambling on about? Sometimes I think I’m losing my mind. Better shut up, hope that’s OK.
To Anon, I accpet your comment which is fair, I also remember my friend as a loyal work colleauge, we worked together as gardeners and even now I sit in a garden area we made and remember her values and beliefs, and the integrity she held about them.
Issues are just issues, I think to say one does not have them is being in denial and they are just part of the journey.
The issue ‘I’ have with life is the “I”!
I should do this.
I should not do that.
I want to be this.
I do not want to be that.
I want that.
I don’t want that.
I admire that person.
I detest that person.
I want peace.
I don’t want conflict.
I want to be liked.
I don’t want to be disliked.
Some of the issues I am continually faced with, as ‘I’ confront the ‘I’.
Surely, within the power of this being, am ‘I’ able to go beyond beyond the ‘I’?
I know ‘I’ can, but not if ‘I’ want it!
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