“The world is my classroom, life is my teacher and every day is a new lesson.”
The Pracademic
As totally cheesy and lame as the above sentence might sound; it’s actually the cornerstone of my personal life philosophy. And it’s proven to be an effective “learning model” for me over my journey. Even though I have spent time at University as both a student and a lecturer, I have never really learned optimally in an academic setting – although I loved my College experience. For most part, I thrive on the experiential rather than the theoretical, and it’s generally been in the doing – not the listening or reading – that I have made my greatest breakthroughs, gained the most insight and understanding, and experienced the greatest levels of personal growth. And to be honest, much of that “doing” resided somewhere between “challenging and terrifying” on the personal comfort scale. You know the scale; we all have our own. Over time I learned that as a general rule… what scares me teaches me. On some level, in some way, when I’m uncomfortable is often when I learn and grow the most.
Having many fingers in many pies and constantly throwing myself in the deep end – despite my lack of preparation, knowledge, skills, support and at times, ability – has provided me with more “lessons” than I can recall. Of course, some people would call those lessons failures, but fortunately for me, I’m more interested in the experience than I am the label.
In one of the first radio interviews I ever conducted, I was asked to interview a high profile, Olympic gold-medalist by phone. The show’s producer had allocated fifteen minutes (or so) for the interview and as the On-Air sign flashed (after the obligatory advertisements), I gave a station ID, a time check, temperature check and introduced my high-profile guest. What followed were ten (reduced from the planned fifteen) of the most uncomfortable and awkward minutes of my life. My guest, who clearly wasn’t up for a chat, decided to provide me with nothing but one and two-word answers. No matter how hard I tried to engage her in any kind of meaningful conversation, she simply wouldn’t budge or open up. She was at best disinterested and at worst very rude. It soon became clear that she was annoyed for having to take part in a radio interview. Apparently she was having a bad day. Lucky me. Needless to say, the overall “listener experience” wasn’t amazing and my confidence as a radio presenter found it’s way to a new all-time low.
Buckle Up
In layman’s terms, I have “crashed and burned” many times in the evolution of my career, my business and in the evolution of… me. Me the person, the thinker, the philosopher, the teacher, the student, the ex-fat kid. And I will continue to “crash” because I will continue to take risks, to get uncomfortable and to explore the limits of my modest potential. While some people might look at my track record and say that I have had many failures along the way, I would say that for the most part, I have been served up the lessons I needed, when I needed them. Over my journey I have had failed businesses, been ripped off by people I trusted, had numerous “great” ideas which amounted to nothing, lost hundreds of thousands of dollars in “great opportunities”, invested time, energy and money poorly, embarrassed myself often and the whole time I have continued to learn, develop, grow and find the good. By choice.
No Failures
In life, there are no universal failures; only experiences and interpretations of those experiences. One person’s failure will be another person’s lesson and what will see one person spiral into a self-destructive abyss will lead another to develop skills, strength, understanding, confidence and greater personal power. Some will choose to fail while others will choose to learn. It’s never about the situation; it’s always about the reaction. Always about the person. You. Me. For the most part, failure is a myth. It doesn’t actually exist until we make it a reality via our thinking, beliefs, self-talk and vocabulary. It’s simply a disempowering and debilitating label that we individually give the events of our world. As soon as we tell ourselves that we have failed, we put ourselves in a destructive and unproductive place (emotionally, psychologically and creatively). Conversely, when we label the same experience ’a lesson’, we avoid the pity party and the destructive self-talk and we keep our head in a more productive, constructive and positive place.
Which leads to better results in our world.
Feel free to share what you’ve learned from one of your spectacular failures lessons… or just say hi.
Ciao x
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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig,
I remember clearly when Mika Hakkinen crashed spectacularly during practice before a Melbourne F1 Grand Prix (1998 or 1999). He was unhurt but the car was a mess. In an interview afterwards he said in his very calm, Finnish manner ‘I was just finding the limits of the car’. He certainly found them! We all know that he went on to win two F1 World Championships, don’t we? (… and he’s not an arrogant ‘never admit I make a mistake’ cheater like Michael Schumacher – known as ‘Poomaker’ in our family, juvenile I know).
If we’re not prepared to crash spectacularly, then we’re never going to succeed spectacularly are we?
We are often our harshest critics (I certainly am) so thanks for the reminder that it’s all about improvement rather than perfection.
Oh, and the things I’ve learned from my mistakes:
* never work for a politician
* ‘natural’ birth is over-rated
* a perm is never, ever a good idea
* the boss isn’t looking at you because he’s admiring your typing
* ‘dryclean only’ bloody-well means ‘dryclean only’
Great, now I’m depressed. What a doofus.
Christina xxx
Hi Craig
It might have appeared that I ‘failed’ the test in not resisting the hot chocolate, but I interpreted it as a great opportunity……to enjoy an extra night on the treadmill :-0
Well worth it…
Loretta x
“Man’s or woman’s main task in life is to give birth to himself or herself.” – Eric Fromm
Giving birth ….what does it mean?
It means the death of the old and the bringing in of the new.
How do I bring in the new?
I must RISK change, I must RISK failure, I must be prepared to sacrifice the cosy ‘old’ for what may be the uncomfortable (in the beginning) ‘new’.
I must risk being a fool ,as some could well call me, as I fail or make mistakes. I must risk facing rejection.
I must embrace being a fool to unveil a new way of – being – acting -thinking – feeling.
Through foolishness, I can let go of being the same old, and discover what works for me in the present moment.
What is right for me now, may not be right tomorrow, so I challenge who I am again and again, to reveal the new.
The new is revealed from the learnings of my mistakes. Mistake and failure is such a blessing in learning lessons, as I move through the drama of my existence. They are the walls to guide the luge of me as I travel through this place.
Feelings of fear is will be associated with being foolish, making mistakes, or being wrong. Fear of not fitting in with the tribe of conformants.
To learn, I must address such fear and lay it to rest.
I must learn to fear these: not learning, not changing, not constantly questioning the old, so as to reveal my way to the new.
“Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. You are what observes, not what you observe.” – Buddha
“Time changes everything, except something within us, which is always surprised by change.” – Thomas Hardy
Prise apart that something within, so that change will no longer be a surprise.
As far as failures for me, my biggest failure was attempting continually to seek the approval of others. Blessings in that lesson were immense when the penny dropped.
Great post Craig, being open and honest is no1 when it comes to learning a lesson. Thank you for communicating on that basis!
Some will choose to fail while others will choose to learn.
Craig as usual, another amazing insightful post that has come along at a great time in my messy life.
I have two very uncomfortable things to deal with – namely, the person who I care for wants to reconcile with me. I want to as well. I’m at the stage where I am ready to hear the lessons, learn from them and go onto a great reationship with that person and others. There is no failure or rejection, just simply learning.
That is not to say I have crashed and burnt badly on this one and the other legal situation. However, it’s about me, as you state, and for me as uncomfortable and scary as it is to talk about what happened with this person, it’s no longer a failure but a lesson.
Thanks Craig
Lol Christina, hate that dry clean only label!!!!
I have often felt like a failure…until I sat down and examined what I had been through. I am now less hard on myself. (although I am still a failure at the hula hoop!!!)
hugs
Chelle xxx
I think that too many people give-up when they fail, I’ll admit I’ve crashed and burned recently. But I have leanred from my mistakes and to take action to put things right, or do the right thing the next time is very important in my opinion. You have to learn from the experience becuase if you don’t then how are you going to improve yourself? Plus if I ever fall, I get-up, brush myself off and try again. I’ve learned in my life that you may fail many times before you succeed, and that’s the great challenge about it, to keep on going.
I also think that patience is also the key aswell, as lessons become before the success in most cases.
Great Post,
Craig
Hey Craig,
This was a reminder of where I was and where I’m on the path to returning. Thanks for the kick in the right direction.
Z
This post resonated with me. I have had some spectacular failure/lessons in my life. The most recent and one of the more trivial being last night at soccer training (Im a soccer virgin, decided it would be fun to play this year, but have NO skills whatsoever or coordination for that matter!) we were trying tricky diversions and I ended up in a twisted wreckage of myself looking like the biggest tool in the shed, but hey it was fun, and I know what NOT to do next time!
)
The bigger lessons in my life involve dodgy boyfriends who taught me what I definitely DID NOT want in a partner and led me to appreciating my gorgeous husband of 15 years for what he is and also what he is not……
My kids teach me everyday the power of persistance. Toddlers who become frustrated at not being able to do things the first go, but keep trying till they achieve what they want and are happy to be proud of themselves for the achievement no matter how small (and even if it drives mummy loco-crazy!!)
Thanks again Craig.
Cheers Kelly
“natural’ birth is over-rated”
I’ll take your word on that Christina…
Perspective is an interesting thing Loretta..
x
“You are what observes, not what you observe.” – Buddha
So true Littlejohn…
Enjoy the lesson Michael..
I want to see you and that hula hoop Chelle…
Wise words from you Scott.. .:)
Welcome Z
You’re welcome too Kelly
Well said. I know for myself the biggest risks I’ve ever taken have been when I was feeling most desperate or most like a failure. Some of them have paid off, all of them have taught me lessons when I emerged on the other side. I know lots of people that refuse to take risks and focus solely on security. They never change their tastes, never change their habits, never change the things they hang on their wall. Their lives begin to seem so static and un-changing, without any risk or adventure or high-impact experience. I want to shake a little “change” into them in order to keep them among the living!
Keep shaking them Paul
Hi Craigo!
(You know me, words are my religion, and the Macquarie is my Bible!)
Before I leave a deeply profound comment … can you please take that third “e” out of “Cheesey”. It has no business being there. Thanks!
This is one of my favourite posts from you. And so timely too.
Your comment about jumping in the deep end “despite my lack of preparation, knowledge, skills, support and at times, ability” hit home with me. Yep, just done that. Doing that right now.
I’ve never designed a book before, and I really never considered I would. Fortunately, someone (very special and dear to us all!!!) took a chance on me, and now I am learning heaps. I’m learning new things about myself, and I’m also learning more about my craft and honing my skills.
Thanks for the opportunity to learn so much.
Also, Christina, I’m with you. Natural birth? Pffft!
Em
( ) x
Hello Little Em
What third “e”?
Have you been smoking weed again?
x
Don’t try to deny it …
I have an emailed copy to prove you wrote “Cheesey”.
I iceskated competitively for some years (and in Australia this wasn’t widespread) and falling on my face, in a leotard no less, in front of a few hundred people, really taught me that “embarrassement is relative”! Don’t feel silly because you failed – feel proud that you tried and are moving on to better and bigger things.
oops, embarrassment – another errant “e”!
Aaaah Em.
You have an email (allegedly) and I have a website.
30 – 0
Miss Em to serve
I don’t imagine that face-planting the ice would be particularly fun Emma… thanks for dropping by
I could always put subliminal messages into a certain book?
Hey Craig. Yesterday I learnt some tough lessons at work and lost several hours of sleep trying to convince the little voices in my head (you know the ones: “you’re crap, you’re not smart enough for this job, etc…”) that it’s not that I failed, but that I needed these lessons as part of my development.
Your post couldn’t have been better timed this morning. Thanks for the reminder.
Ah yes the most spectacular all our failures/lessons is the one we are in at the moment… the one caused in part by the GFC and in part by our handling of it.
Husband says if we can get through the next month we will be fine, that we know what to do and how to do it and we just need to keep going, that we will be back where we were quicker than it took us the first time, that we have learned many valuable lessons, that it WILL be OK. I say what if this, what if that, if only I had done this, if only I hadn’t done that…
I’ve heard you don’t learn nearly as much from a free lesson as from an expensive one, and now I understand completely. Unfortunately we really did need to crash and burn to learn our lesson, but we will never forget it.
Em. Good point.
Anon – you’re most welcome
Lisa Q – I’m hearing you! .. I’m sure you’ll be better off for your expensive lesson. Made a few myself…
I have to say this message has come at just the right time. At the moment I’m back on the “where am I going” path and find it very difficult to get motivated, especially to go to the gym. Particularly difficult in winter.
I get bored very easily so I try to keep my mind active with educational pursuits. I like to think that these pursuits have had many positive influences, especially in improving my esteem and confidence.
Craig, I like that you say that you “will continue to take risks, to get uncomfortable”. That’s a good description of what I think I am trying to do. I don’t want to go through the motions of life. I want to do meaningful things. What’s the point otherwise!
The more you learn, the more you realise you don’t know. That’s an exciting challenge in itself!
Hi Craig
To me, life is not unlike a game of Pacman, the aim is always to move up to the next level, to grow and keep growing. You get there by gobbling the little monsters before they gobble you, that is face your fears and don’t let them get the better of you. If they get you, you get sent back to start where you can choose to use the same strategy or a better one. Stuck in a rut, repeating the same lessons over and over again? Get better strategies to gobble those monsters that are keeping you there so that you can step up to the next exciting level of your life. Enjoy the game!
IMHO life is the greatest teacher if one allows the lessons to be a source of awe and wonder, not a source of fuel for the inner critic.
Over a decade and a half ago I started playing baseball in my early twenties. I played in winter and summer seasons, and one summer season my batting fell apart and I could barely hit the ball each time I went up to home plate. Part of me – the emotional- wanted to quit – plenty of “I suck at this game” thoughts went through my head. Another part of me – the analytical – worked out where I was going wrong, and worked out that making a major alteration to my batting stance and position near home plate would be well worth trying.
There was plenty of criticism of my new batting stance but I stayed confident because my hitting power returned and my pitch selection improved.
The key to this story is that is was the first time in my life that I realised that I had the ability to both learn and teach myself at the same time. This has stood my in pretty good stead over the years.
Because I have a fondness for quotes, I’ll finish up with the following:
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” – Alexander Pope
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
“Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won’t work. ” – Thomas Edison
Cheers
hmm another timely reminder of lessons taught and heard at RYL1.
Seems a constancy and a struggle for me to keep my head in a productive, constructive, positive place…. but a bit like the fish in nemo.. ‘just keep swimming’ (except in reality.. I literally dont know how to!!)
and on a very positive note… as there have been a couple of negs about natural birth…
for me….. the natural births of my 3 girls… the last one(who just turned 13) a home birth… were undoubtedly the most intense and greatest experiences of my life. For me… natural birth is definitely not over rated
Hey Craig !
Here’s Tina the straggler, trying to catch up again ! Nothing profound to add though, sorry !
{{HUG}} Tina
Hey Chelle… come on over with that hula hoop and I’ll coach you… been doing it since I was about 8 years old, and that’s a looooong time !! But interestingly, only just been able to teach myself to rotate it clockwise as well as anti-clockwise. Took a lot of practice and determination, but I got there eventually !
Ah my dear sister Jane, How come I knew you could not help yourself commenting about the natural childbirth. You make me laugh.
Perhaps its time you did learn to swim!
Love from me.
Terry’s pacman comparison is BRILLANT!!! thanks
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
Thank you to all that post on here it’s helping me get the courage to learn two big lessons
Tina – so now you go both ways, eh?
Couldn’t resist……
Ssshhhhh Suza !!! Don’t tell everyone !!!