Hey Guys, don’t forget that you can still submit your own words of inspiration and education to our Lessons From Readers writing forum until next Sunday (May 13)… so get writing… we’ve already had some amazing contributions. If you’ve got no idea what I’m on about, scroll down a couple of posts.
Have you ever noticed how many people survive some type of horrendous near-death experience (drama, trauma, accident, illness) or some other significant personal tragedy (sudden loss of a loved-one perhaps)… and then realise that they have some kind of previously undiscovered (or used) amazing ability, talent or drive to do incredible things with their life?
One of the most interesting studies in the field of behavioural science (for me anyway) is the dramatic way that people often change (personality, attitudes, thinking, behaviours, philosophy) following some kind of personal tragedy (often a near-death experience).
People who previously didn’t have the skills, knowledge, confidence, drive or energy to scratch their butt (supposedly)… are instantly passionate, driven, competent high-achievers.
Seemingly, overnight they become different people.
They become dynamic motivators and teachers.
The follower becomes an amazing leader.
The person who couldn’t look you in the eye is standing at a microphone addressing the masses.
They develop incredible programs and work on the streets with homeless people.
They build orphanages for kids in far away places.
They become outspoken, fearless activists and lobbyists for noble causes.
People who couldn’t motivate themselves to get a job, become proactive go-getters.
People who had their butt glued to the couch become inspirational role-models.
People who never stepped outside their little box… never, ever return (to their box).
People who were once bound by fear are suddenly fearless.
Sometimes, it’s like they really are completely different people.
But the truth is, they are the same person doing different things.
That new amazing person was always there.
But tragically, too many people live and die… never having met their own amazing self.
Too scared.
Too conservative.
Too safe.
Too sensible.
People who go through these amazing experiences come out the other side with no more talent, potential or intelligence.
They come out with a different mindset.
A different way of looking at life, the world and everything in it (including themselves).
Therefore, they create different.
Their world changes… because they change.
(I’m not typically into mantras or affirmations… but putting the words “my world will change when I change” on your fridge… might be a good reminder).
I hope you don’t have to endure a tragedy or close-call before you decide to introduce your amazing self to the rest of us.
* Say hi and tell us where you’re from.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Craig,
Fear:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Isn’t it amazing how it holds us to ransom in so many areas of our lives !!!!
Cheryl
Joburg
South Africa
Absolutely Right!
It seems clear to me that we all underestimate ourselves and never reach our true potential. Maybe we all need to have a life threatening experience to get the most out of ourselves.
Tasha
Oregon Canada
Hi Craig,
You’ve done it again! You just keep producing quality thought-provoking material.
Superb Harper-illiant post – concise, sharp and cleverly written words of wisdom and truth.
I am so glad you have introduced your amazing self to the blogospheric world!
Thank you
Keepsmiling
( )
The phrase is repeated so often, that sometimes it almost loses its power. Still, when you really think about Mahatma Gandhi’s words, there is so much strength and optimism there:
“. . . be the change you want to see in the world.”
Being that change definitely means being brave and putting yourself out there. Still, I think it’s a very powerfully simple thought.
Hi Cheryl,
yes it is!
But it doesn’t need to.
Cheers.
Hi Tasha…
that’s my point!
We DON’T need that life-threatening experience.. but unfortunately many people don’t get this.
Thanks for visiting.
Hello Keepsmiling,
compliments and a cyberhug..
lucky boy.
( )
Hi Lornadoone,
it is repeated a lot.. if only it was embraced as a model for living.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Hey Craig, I am one of those people who suffered a loss. My biggest support person in my life was killed and life changed. I became fearless for a time because nothing could hurt me as much as I was already hurting. Well that fearlessness changed but the thoughts about life didn’t. I have been battling for the last four years between what I should do and what I want to do with my life. I have a repressive family and becuase I lost that support person I had to learn to draw on my own strength and self-belief which I discovered was not there. Each day I continue to create my world and my dream one choice at a time. My mind wants that instantaneous change, the dream but reality is it is one choice at a time. Because I have a long journey I have your website as my homepage and I connect with you each day so that I can make the right choices for myself in the right mindset. My mantra is “My life, My way”. Thank you and I look forward to visiting your site in the future. Briggy37
Hey Briggy,
thanks for sharing your story and thanks for your honesty.
Everybody needs support and encouragement and I’m glad I can play a (very small) part in helping in some way.
Keep coming to the site, keep doing what you need to do, stay in touch and let us know how you’re travelling.
Best wishes ( )
Yep, I think this is great!
These people had it in them all the time
This may sound simple – like people are attracted to like
Like minds are attracted to like
Like thoughts are attracted to like
If you are interested, there is more at: NigelPendrigh. Com/Interview
You have to be what you want to attract and after their extreme experience they reached another level that allowed them to jump so high they have not and probably never will return to the previous level. At the new level they will now mix with a more empowering group that is likely to contribute a lot to other’s lives
Hi Nigel,
thanks for your thoughts.
Cheers.
Hi Craig,
I read somewhere recently that it is only when you stop fearing death that you truly start to live. I think this plays a huge part in people coming close to death changing their approach to life. That, plus it finally hitting home that you never know when you’re going to go, so NOW is the time to live it up.
By the way, I love this blog!
All the best,
Hilda
Hi Hilda,
you’re right; fear is the probably the single biggest obstacle for most of us…
Glad you enjoy the blog.
Enjoy your day (night)
I don’t want to step on Craig’s turf but your story is powerful Briggy.
I’m sorry to hear about your loss but your daily battle (that I hope you are winning bit by bit) is inspirational and you’re not alone.
This may not be a shark but I find rejection to be a nasty way to kick (you when you’re down but also) into gear. After a few rejections in a row (socially and professionally) than you just think “why am I bothering”, “maybe they’re right, I really do have nothing to offer”, “I could never be that (or measure up to it)” or (worst of all) that “I’m not worthy”…Unfortunately these creep into your mind easily but are hard to get rid of (and they shatter your self esteem) but after thinking about them for a while I’ve concluded a few things:
1) It’s their loss if they couldn’t see your potential or value
2) Its possible that it just isn’t for you and that overtime, circumstances will show why. Maybe you’ll go back to it one day or the opportunity will arise again, but at that moment in time; although you think you may have needed it, it wasn’t what you really needed. It is hard to make choices which will again put you into a similar challenging position (e.g. going for an interview) but soon it will be your time and you’ll be rewarded if you put yourself out there even at the risk of rejection, imperfection, pain etc.
3) What can be learnt, gained, improved upon from the experience? Cliché, but if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger (although hopefully not bitter and cynical)
4) There will be more ways of (eventually) getting what you want, but you need to figure out what that is (regardless of the possibly painful trial and error until you reach that point).
A friend and mentor of mine had a shark in the form of breast cancer and although she has now overcome a very traumatic experience (chemotherapy, surgery etc) her outlook on life is profound because she came so close to losing it all (she really does appreciate a beautiful day); she had changed and so had her perspective. If we change our perspectives than we can come across similar results especially where stress management is concerned.
Your lack of self belief and strength isn’t truthful to me because although I don’t know you, the fact you can write about it they way you did (honestly & articulately, while evaluating everything) is testament to the courage you have and an inner strength you are drawing upon even if you haven’t acknowledged it yet?