Doing What Doesn’t Work

Circular Behaviour

Have you noticed how many of us seem to keep doing what doesn’t work? Even though we know it doesn’t work and even though we hate where we’re at (physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, financially). It’s like our emotion (in all its manifestations) gets in the way of our intelligence, our objectivity and our common sense.

Is it possible that we’re both smart and stupid at the same time? Or, maybe that’s just me.

Here’s an example…

While exercise and all its variables can be classified and quantified in a range of ways, for the sake of understandability and relevance, in most situations, for most of my audiences, I am inclined to break it into two simple groups: the maintenance group and the progressive group.

As the name suggests, following a maintenance exercise plan won’t lead an individual to make any real progress, neither will it see him or her going backwards (physically) at an alarming rate. On the other hand, a progressive approach to exercise is designed and implemented for the sole purpose of creating significant physiological change. That is, to create a measurably fitter, leaner, lighter, stronger, faster, more flexible (etc.) body.

I’ve mentioned before that the majority of people in the majority of gyms (consciously or not) employ a maintenance approach to their exercise. That is, they typically do the same (or similar) kind of exercise, using the same (or similar) equipment, at the same level of intensity, for the same amount of time each week and they do that for (like, totally) e-v-e-r, despite the fact that ‘change’ is their goal.

And they wonder why their body isn’t transforming.

Some people have been following the same exercise plan for years. Their need to be comfortable, or to do the familiar, is the very thing that stops them from reaching their goals. They want ten-out-of-ten results but are only willing to make a three-out-of-ten effort.

This principle is true for not only our bodies and exercise habits but also (more broadly speaking) for our lives: if nothing changes, nothing changes. Sometimes we simply need to choose between ‘being comfortable’ and ‘doing what’s necessary’ to create lasting change in our world.

Have you noticed how long it takes for some of us to catch on to this truth? Have you also noticed how long some of us can delay the inevitable and avoid the obvious? Some of us are enslaved to the habitual, the comfortable, the familiar and the repetitious, no matter how ineffective or, even, destructive that type of behaviour might be. In other words, we keep doing what doesn’t work. We keep doing what doesn’t produce positive change.

We have the same arguments about the same issues with the same people and produce the same less-than-desirable results for… ever. And then we wonder what’s wrong with them and why we keep having these problems. Pfft.

We keep using the same weight-loss approach, despite the fact that it didn’t work the last fifty-two times. Hmmm…

We keep waiting, waiting and waiting for the right time when, all along, the limiting factor has been our fear; not our timing. He who hesitates is lost and he who spends his life waiting becomes a professional waiter.

We keep avoiding certain (important) issues in our world and hope that they will magically ‘sort themselves out’. Good luck with that, Mary Poppins.

We keep hoping that situations, circumstances and people around us will change, so we don’t have to. So we don’t have to ‘fix’ the problem.

Instead of creating our own opportunities and luck, we tip-toe timidly through life and hope that (somehow) opportunity will find us and Lady Luck (whoever she is) will smile on us. Such disempowering crap.

As a rule, closing our eyes, crossing our fingers and hoping things will work themselves out isn’t a great strategy for change. Sure, it works until we’re four but after that… not so much.

So…

Are you a person who continues to do what doesn’t work in some areas of your life – despite your good intentions? Despite your potential? Despite your frustration? If you are, welcome to the club; it’s a whopper. The way to create real (and lasting) shift is not to beat yourself up but, rather, to move forward (from right now) in a constructive, practical, logical and unemotional manner. Here are some suggestions:

1. Don’t try to change fifty things at once. It will only end in tears. In the short term, address one or two significant issues, make them stick and build from there.

2. Don’t over-think what you need to do or the changes you need to make; you’ll only find another way to procrastinate, to talk yourself out of taking action and to stay in that behavioural and emotional rut. Thinking: good. Over-thinking: not good.

3. Identify your lead-up patterns (the behaviour and choices that typically precede a problem or a downfall) and create some new patterns.

4. Identify your non-negotiable behaviours. Specifically, those behaviours which are relevant to your plans, your goals and the change process. Your non-negotiables are the things you’re totally committed to doing no matter what. If you haven’t identified or articulated them yet, then now would be a good time. It’s your life, so you get to choose your own standards and rules.

5. Make that decision  – the one you’ve been avoiding.

For some of us, it’s time to stop doing what’s easy, popular, comfortable and convenient. It’s time to do what works.

* Don’t forget my new kid’s book (The Angry Ant) is out now! Love this article? Sign up for my FREE Email Newsletter today to receive more articles like this, and get my FREE Ebook!