A What on a What?
One of my friends often uses the expression “it’s about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.” I hear this phrase when he’s trying to stress how useless something is. I love his choice of words because (1) it makes me laugh (2) I’m a motorcyclist and (3) I have a mind that instantly creates a very amusing picture.
And while we’re doing metaphors…
It occurs to me that there have been times when my life was that motorbike. Over the years, I’ve had to remove plenty of ashtrays: over-eating, under-eating, obsessive-exercising, self-doubt, procrastination, unhealthy relationships, nasty habits and over-thinking, just to name a few. Isn’t it strange how we hold onto useless things?
Is there an ashtray on your motorbike?
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I overheard a new favourite the other day, used by a colleague who has a particularly messy desk telling another colleague “you dont need to see how the sausage is made”
Oh the images…..
Hey Craig,
It is a great metaphore.
Often when we have problems it is great to crystalize it in another fashion, one that makes us laugh, one that shows us the truth.
“About as useful as tits on a bull”……
Love it…never heard that one before..bet you haven’t heard these..
Year 12 NSW Metaphors in essays…
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature prime English beef.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
The dust bin man.
A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheely bins and
emptying them into his Truck. He gets to one house where the bin hasn’t been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can’t see it so he knocks on the door. There’s no answer so he knocks again. Eventually a Japanese bloke answers…
“Harro”, says the jappy chappy.
“Alright mate, where’s your bin?” asks the dustman.
“I bin on toilet” replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.
Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the binman smiles and
says “No mate, where’s ya dust bin?”
“I dust bin on toiret I told you” says the Japanese man.
“Mate” says the dustman… “you’re misunderstanding me… Where’s your
Wheely Bin?”
“OK” “OK” , says the Jap, “I wheely bin having wank”
Sayonara all……I’m off like a bride’s nightie…Fair suck of the saveloy…and I can’t come within coee of our youth’s best literary and politically incorrect gems.
Sweetpea xxx
Hi Craig,
That metaphor was one of my favourites many years ago along with “a flyscreen door on an igloo”.
Thanks for sharing
be good to yourself
David
As useful as a hip pocket in a singlet!!
Hi Craig,
I identify with the over-eating, self doubt and procrastination. Last Christmas I decided I couldn’t procrastinate any longer, so got rid of that dirty ashtray and have successfully managed to go to the gym several times per week. The over eating is under control most of the time. But the self doubt, and the other dirty ashtray of self sabotage are the two I am still trying to eliminate. Never having been a smoker, the dirty ashtray is something I always get rid of really quickly. Wish these other self defeating habits were as easy to wash away. Thanks for the ongoing tools though that do help.
Heather
Okay, you’ve got me thinking. What is the ashtray on my motorcycle? I don’t know yet, but I’ll be on the look out, hopefully I won’t swallow the ashes. Oh, yuck, now I just imagined a taste.
Interesting metaphore indeed! First time for me. I normally get “You need that like you need another hole in your head” from my dear mother.
I always used to picture different places to put that hole. And when I was whining about getting a nose piercing it almost worked as a good argument.
Have plenty of ashtrays lately…. time to do some (late) Spring Cleaning. Thanks and have a good weekend! (Unless the world ends? What’s that all about anyway?)
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