If you’re serious about creating lasting and significant change in your world – as opposed to merely thinking and talking about it for another year – there are a few things you might want to do in order to help make those intentions a reality…
1. Know what success is. If you don’t know what success is (for you), how can you possibly create it? Success is different things for different people and one person’s success (a pregnancy for example) might be another person’s catastrophe. That’s because success (or failure) is not so much about the situation, circumstance, event or outcome as it is about what that “thing” means to the person in the middle of it. In order to create success, you must first define it – and far too many people haven’t. Be very clear about what you want and don’t want for your life. Clarity produces excitement. Excitement produces momentum. Momentum produces behavioural change. Behavioural change produces different results and eventually, the internal vision becomes an external reality. Giddy-up.
2. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Some people will live a life of second-best, of compromise and of under-achievement simply because they are (1) controlled by fear (2) always looking for the magic pill or shortcut and (3) not prepared to do the tough stuff. People who always take the easy option are destined for mediocrity. At best. Constantly avoiding the discomfort means constantly avoiding the lessons and the personal growth. Pain is a great teacher. Not always what we want, but sometimes what we need.
3. Seek to be righteous, not right. The need to be “right” speaks of arrogance, insecurity, ego and stupidity. It’s also synonymous with failure. The person who constantly needs to be right will miss out on much of what life has to teach him and alienate himself from others. Arrogance repels, humility attracts.
4. Seek respect, not popularity. It’s been said that our nature is “who we are” and our reputation is who people think we are. When the two are synonymous, we’re usually on the right path.
5. Embrace mess. To embrace mess is to embrace life because life is messy, unpredictable, unfair, uncertain, lumpy and bumpy. So get used to a little chaos. Embrace it even. While others succumb to the messiness and unpredictability of the human experience, make a conscious choice to be the calm in the chaos.
6. Don’t become your parents. Or your boss. Or anyone but you. The enormity of conformity is a problem for the wanna-be success story. Sure, your parents are great and by all means respect them, love them and learn from them, but please don’t become them; that’s just plain ugly and a little bit tragic. Listen to, and learn from other people, but think, act and decide for yourself. And no, you don’t need anyone’s approval or permission; you’re big now. It’s okay.
7. Use more of what you already have. Imagine what you could achieve if you took all the knowledge, intelligence, opportunities, time, skill and talent that you currently have and absolutely milked it. What if you already have more than enough talent to become wildly successful? Well, you do. There go the excuses. And that voice that’s telling (some of) you right now that you don’t have what it takes to become successful, that’s called fear. Not logic, fear. Not reality, fear. Unless of course, you allow that to become your reality. Be mindful that the voice in your head (the very loud, annoying and persistent one) is rarely a reflection of your potential and mostly a manifestation of your insecurity. And no, you’re not alone in your self-doubt; it’s a universal condition. Many people fail, not because they don’t have what it takes, but because they don’t use what they already have. Successful people typically don’t have more innate potential, luck, time or opportunity than the next person, but they consistently find a way to use much more of what they have at their disposal. While the majority are rationalising their lack of decision making and action taking, these guys are finding a way to get the job done. The question is not “how much ability do you have, but how much will you use?”.
8. Be an innovator, not an imitator. Not too many sheep succeed. Baaah. Sometimes it’s a good idea to build your own team rather than join someone else’s. Don’t let your fear stand in the way of your potential to create, innovate or lead. When I set up Australia’s first commercial personal training centre, most people told me it wouldn’t work. Glad I didn’t listen.
9. Do what most won’t. If you want to achieve what most people won’t (happiness, joy, calm, wealth, optimal health, balance) then don’t do what they do. If you want to be like the majority, then do what they do. Producing different results comes from doing different things. Simple really. And effective. Most people won’t persevere, won’t finish what they start, won’t find the good, won’t do what it takes, won’t question their long-held beliefs, won’t be solution-focused, won’t do what scares them and won’t “be the change” they want to see in their world. Choose to be different.
10. Be like water. Powerful. Gentle. Adaptable. Ever-changing. Being static in a dynamic world – like the one you and I inhabit – is a recipe for disaster. If you can’t adapt, you can’t succeed. Our practical, three dimensional reality, and everything in it, is in a constant state of transition, while some of us are in a constant state of “same”. Statues don’t succeed, they just get crapped on.
Watch out for the pigeons.
Ciao x
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9. Do what most won’t: This made one me laugh – in a very good way. This is precisely why I’m dropping weight to make lightweight for rowing. Last year was my first race ever – and I came in second in my age group. I remember talking to the woman who came in first (she kicked my ass) and she said she wasn’t willing to drop the pounds needed to go lightweight. And I instantly thought “well I am willing to do that”. And I am doing it. I’ve dropped 11 pounds with 6 to go and I’m going to make it. I’m willing to do what she won’t. Hell yeah!
hehe…oh I’m embracing mess alright. Sometimes I don’t think I could really survive without a little chaos (need to work on the other 9 though!)
Brillant words, and true.
The only discrepency I have with all this ‘you can do or have it all’ stuff is that there are expections. You can’t say ‘I want this person as my partner’ free will does not allow it, you can’t say ‘I want to be PM of Australia” or “I will win lotto’, or ‘i have terminal cancer and want to live’. Some things just don’t or won’t happen and it’s silly to post and fool people, like the Secret, to say you can have it all, but in reality you can’t. That is not to say those things are not possible, but to say you can have it all, then you say you want X and the typical response from new age gurus are “no not that, the universe does not want you to have that’ or “you can’t interfere with free will’ or other cop outs.
Become ‘you’ is difficult in this world but necessary and that Craig is the best of the points because being ‘you’ is often not what society wants. Good post today.
If you can understand, dear nardia, that the 3 greatest obstacles between you and the life of your wildest dreams are actually imaginary, a product of your mind alone, I do believe we’ll blow the wheels clear off this popsicle stand.
i read this quote that was sent to me every day.
Nardia
Apparently I have been having a problem with “#3. Seek to be righteous, not right.” A friend told me that I have been coming across as wanting to be right and confrontational in all of our conversations lately. I appologized for coming across that way and told her that was not my intension at all. I do want to shake her out of her fairy tale world sometimes. I do want her to move—forward or backward. It doesn’t matter which. She has stagnated long enough in her comfort zone. I guess all of that is just my opinion, apparently not hers. She is so talented and not using any of it because she is so afraid of being judged.
Hi Craig,
As I am emerging back into the world of ‘wellness’ (after 2 days of experiencing a ’stomach bug’ NB post school sports day sausage sizzle ((they should be outlawed!!)) I thought I’d drop by and say hi. And ….thanks for today’s post. Needed it. As always, right words at the right time. I love all the points.
Hi also to Michael (above) – beautiful winter’s day here in Brissy, huh?? Can I just say that
a) I don’t think Craig is really advocating the ‘you can have it all’ thing …but I see your disappointment if you are hoping that the universe will ‘download’ all your wishes. I actually think Craig is teaching us the opposite – that through our own reactions, responses, ability to find the good etc….we can create positve and desirable outcomes ourselves. I wouldn’t be listening to any ‘new age gurus’ who tell you otherwise! It’s a bit like reading your horoscope everyday and then wondering when it’s all goin’ happen. Anyhow….just saying. Hope you have a great day!
Well I’d better get back to my ’stomach holding’ behaviour (kidding!!), but seriously ne….veeer… be tempted by sausage sizzles at sports carnivals – the universe let me know big time, that it’s not a good idea! Love and happy day all….
Cheers,
Mon
Michael – I disagree with you a little. When someone wants that particular person as their partner, or to win lotto or some other “thing” to happen to them, I believe that if they look a little deeper at what they think having (or attaining) that “thing” will do to their life – and why it will make them happy – they will come up with a series of other things that they really seek. And THOSE things, I believe, ARE attainable .. but maybe not in the quick-fix way they’d hoped. For example, to say I want THAT person as my partner .. why? Maybe I find them attractive; maybe they are kind, warm, generous, funny, passionate … all quailities that many other people possess – if we’re open to seeing it and putting ourselves in the best place to be mutually attractive to someone like that. And the lotto? You want to be wealthy? Live overseas? Have a nice car? All goals you CAN achieve through hard work and tenacity. The Secret (and the like) doesn’t work on simply wanting something .. you still have to change your mindset, do the hard yards and be open to the world. But I agree that people will read it as a (wishful) “method” to attaining quick fixes.
Patricia – remember that how your friend perceives you is more about her than it is about you. You may see her potential and wish to help her move toward using it .. but you can only do so much. It’s up to her .. it’s her life, and her responsibility. I have people in my life like this, and it’s something I struggle with too. The best I can do for them is be a way-show-er. Demonstrate through how I live my life what they could achieve in theirs (more in terms of attitude and happiness than actual achievements, although they tend to come along too!).
Great post, Craig. I like the practical ones .. makes me question what aren’t I doing and where can I readily improve. Happy Monday!
Suz (Sydney)
PS. Just one thing I wanna say before I go – the comments in the last few weeks have been more insightful, considered and thought-provoking. Awesome job, guys. You all make this community rock, and while I will come online to read Craig’s main post, I’ll also keep coming back to read the comments of others. Keep it up!
Hi Guys – good to hear some group discussion on this topic. I LOVE IT that we don’t all agree on everything. Thank goodness – we call that independant thinking. Nice. I love it that I can share some food for thought and you guys can then do some group “chewing” (dissecting, debating, exploring, un-packing). We don’t need group compliance or agreement – just mutual respect. And I’m sure we have that.. enjoy your Monday! x
Love this quote by William A Ward :”Recipe for success; Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing.”
Hi Craig,
Great topic and structure as always…. Michelle – love the quote and Oh so true
Everyone says I want an amazing life, I want this I want that but well what I am learning is what am I willing to give to get it.
On Sat I was teaching boxing and this guy kept getting the combo wrong, I said to him get down and give me 5 and he said I did nothing wrong, then another instructor said mate get down and do 5 and he said ‘it is her’ and I said’ ‘oh yes it is never you’. And we just carried on!
At the end of the session he said you were right Kate… and I said it is not about me being right.. it is about you… And you know what for the first time in my life I realised that I was true.
Have a great day! Kate
A question for myself?
Do I reside in a state of lack, hoping for the “secret” of the LOA to drop what I want onto me, like those pigeons on the statue?
Life will not begin to fulfill my desires until I begin a path that is in alignment with the universe’s underlying reason for our being.
This may mean a 360 evaluation and turn of all I am now.
The yacht and perfect partner can sit aside for now, maybe that will show later, but in any case it is totally irrelevant in relation to where I must begin. The outside stuff CANNOT be the driver for who I want to become.
It must be a progression of the inside stuff that is my sole aim and purpose for this existence. Craig, you have an art to mirror this at any who are looking in that mirror!
The mirror of who I am.
Which is precisely the first step in the 360 reevaluation of me.
Looking at myself, without the colour of the opinion of others, and without the prejudice of MY belief.
First question…Do I like who I am?
Am I happy with what I have, ie, a life, a conscious mind, choice?
If I answer a “No” to the miracle of me, I know precisely where to begin!
I must dump the pigeon crap that has been sitting on my shoulders, building up as the opinion of myself is based upon the opinion of others. The opinion of others about who I am must become totally irrelevant ,if I am going to put any movement into that statue of me.
The best way to achieve that irrelevancy, is to tell myself that I am a unique and special being, and that I do love that uniqueness and specialness of who I am, regardless of any perceived ‘imperfection’ by myself or others
I come to an outlook where I recognise imperfection as a mirage, that whatever exists, no matter how horrendous my perception of imperfection, it is an adjunct to perfection. The fact that the sun will one day implode, and then explode, is perfection. The fact that one day I am born, and then on another depart, is perfection. My life is about a journey in between, exercising choice in such a way that will liven up that statue of me. That is my life purpose, to throw off human made constrictions, and get moving in sync with universal possibility. I represent with my birth, a possibility for the universe to throw light on the wondrous scheme of me and it. This process is not restricted to JC, Buddha or Craig Harper, but involves every being who is open to possibility, who can be curious about the journey, allowing the possible answers to the possibilities to arrive via the universal grapevine. And some vine that is, to be plucking fruit from!
It is here, right now!
Be aware of that possibility that anything is possible.
That will begin to reveal the opportunity available to me now, at this instant.
The greatest gift of love I can give, is to ALLOW any other to be the person they want to be.
For the universe has given me the same gift of allowing.
And that is love!
And that is the beginning of being a moving being which may lead to ultimately find stillness within, where pigeons dropping business on me is part of what I am, not who I am.
I am love, I now have the resource to begin!
.
Hey Craig !
Wow… littlejohn… !! I’m sure I was going to say something but now I can’t for the life of me remember what it was !!!
{{HUG}}
Tina
Suza – spot on re your reply.
I am a bit of a new age, airy fairy guy, and i do believe in the concept that the universe does know what is best for me. I also believe in free will and not to interfere with souls, animals and humans’ paths.
However, I see nothing wrong with wanting X car, person, X lotto win. I agree not to attach one’s self to an outcome, but if success means one of those things, you can argue they are temporary, makes you feel successful, then so be it to go for that thing.
Littlejohn keep posting, brillant post.
Oh and one more thing – being comfortable with uncomfortable. That’s a major one. I see so many trying to get money, careers and partners but won’t put themselves up for rejection. I know as I do that. And Kate is also right – what do we give to get the success.
Brillant post this one
very happy to read what so many great souls are doing, well done Craig for giving us 10 possible strategies.
Fantastic input guys – thanks for sharing. Some great reading there. Littlejohn… wowza; thanks for your extensice download – loved it.
Michael – totally agree with you. I’m of the same ilk re the Universe and that’s it’s looking out for me and will provide the right opportunities .. provided I work hard at improving myself and the world around me.
Littlejohn – amazing, as always. Particularly loved, “The fact that one day I am born, and then on another depart, is perfection. My life is about a journey in between, exercising choice in such a way that will liven up that statue of me.” That for me, and the gift of allowing others to just BE. Brilliant!
Reply to Mon, sorry only just read your reply, yes I agree, I didn’t think Craig was advocating a you can have it all attitude, rather a set of strategies that can help get those things. I don’t see a problem with reading horrorscopes but rather the reliance that they are the be all and end all. Good points you make there.
Michael, was that a deliberate typo of “horrorscopes”??? Love it!
LOL Suza – yes!