Most days when I write on this site at least one person will send me an email sharing how relevant, timely and almost-psychic (prophetic?) that particular day’s post was for them. Over the years many people have told me that they enjoy and relate to the way I think and write because, on some level, they feel like my messages speak directly to them. And that sometimes, I am simply expressing what they have thought and felt many times but struggled to articulate.
Of course, there are also those who think I’m a douche who’s not worth listening to. And that’s okay too. Sometimes, they’re right.
When I first meet people (in person) who have been reading my stuff for a while, there’s one very common conversation which goes something like: “when I read your posts, I feel like I know you and you know me.” And on some level we do know each other because, although we are all unique in our own way, on many levels, we are actually the same. While we might all be wildly different when it comes to things like musical taste, creative abilities, sporting prowess, physical appearance, social habits, spiritual beliefs, lifestyle, political views (and so on), the place we tend to merge, or at the very least, come a little closer together, is in the emotional realm.
And that’s because we are all emotional creatures with similar needs and issues. Yes, even us seemingly-robotic, bullet-proof men. Or perhaps I should say, especially us men.
I’m guessing that you want to be safe, valued, loved, respected and needed. Me too. I’m also guessing that you want to laugh and have fun. Me too. You might want to contribute to the greater good, invest into the lives of others and be an agent for positive change. Me too. You probably want to learn, grow and explore your potential. Me too. Having said that, I bet you go through times when you feel inadequate, unsure, insecure, anxious and even fraudulent. Me too. There might be times when you ignore your very logical mind and allow your totally illogical emotions to throw you into a self-destructive tailspin. Me too. And there are probably times when, even though you know better, you allow fear (and your subsequent irrational thinking) to make you do dumb shit and say dumb shit. Me too.
You see, the reason that you and I connect is because we’re just as dysfunctional and gorgeous as each other. We’re totally different, yet totally the same. When I look past all the stuff that you are not (your body, issues, title, achievements, money, possessions, lifestyle… your stuff), there you are with that slightly goofy look on your face. Just like me.
And that is why I know you.