Last week I was working out with my buddy Matt.
The exercise scientist and the physio (physical) therapist (two old farts) in the gym going hard at it and lifting heavy.
And while the other young, new-age trainers were balancing precariously on their wobble boards, hanging off cables like gorillas in the mist and generally championing the cause of functional training, the bodybuilding relics who have been training together for twenty something years were well and truly engrossed in their very nonfunctional, irrelevant, old-school workout of bench press, lat pulls and dead-lifts; not a wobble board, exercise ball or pilates bench in sight.
Bliss.
My rotator cuffs, bulging discs and forty three year-old joints could be heard screaming from the next suburb… but it was all worth it.
It’s always worth it.
But alas, I digress… and I haven’t even started!
So there we were.. in between lifting heavy stuff when Matt shared an interesting (almost unbelievable) story with me:
“So I went and trained at (un-named gym) this week and saw something interesting.”
“What?”
“A guy (personal trainer) who was training two ladies…”
“And?”
“Well, they were on the floor doing some abs, he was reclining his big fat ass on one of the benches, looking totally disinterested in his clients…”
“Yeh…”
“…and totally engrossed in the MEAT PIE he was STUFFING INTO HIS FAT FACE!”
“NO!!!!!!… In the actual gym?”
“Yep.”
Now, I’m not sure what bothers me most about this story: (1) the pie eater or (2) the clients who are stupid enough to pay a junk food-eating, out-of-shape, disinterested idiot to get them in shape.
Girls, lift your standards!
Here’s a hint… if he’s not walking the talk, he probably ain’t gonna be enormous value to you.
Any value in fact.
I dunno about you guys, but fakes and frauds are very low on my people-to-hang-out-with list… especially those who want to take your money under the pretense of being an ‘expert’ who can help you create your best life (body, financial situation, career, mind-set, relationships).
And I have dealt with many…
I always wondered about that financial advisor I met who didn’t actually have any money, assets or investments of his own (I checked him out).
And the (numerous) life-coaches I’ve met who don’t (remotely) have their own lives together.
And the delusional psychologist I know who tries to date (!) his patients.
And the sixty year-old marriage counsellor who is in her fifth marriage and tried to tell me how relationships work.
And the dynamic business coach I spoke with last week… who’s never actually succeeded in business.
And the numerous personal trainers I’ve met who abuse drugs and alcohol and then chastise their clients for eating carbs after three!
I could go on.. but you get my point.
They are the Milli Vanilli’s of the ‘goods and services’ world; lip syncing money out of your pocket and trust out of your heart.
Keep in mind that… 93% of communication is non-verbal, so if you want to know what people are REALLY like, listen less and watch more.
What people DO will tell you way more about them than anything that ever comes out of their mouth.
Many people tell us what (they think) we want to hear.. especially when it’s in their financial interest.
If they are (consistently) saying one thing and doing another, they’re not the real deal.
No shit Sherlock.
So next time you’re shopping for a service or product, put integrity and honesty at the top of your list and you’ll save yourself some heart-ache and money.
* Let me know your thoughts and stories on frauds and fakes (don’t use names). Leave your name (if you wish) and let us know where you’re from.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
A standard (and a lil cliche) joke would be: “Of course he’s an expert on marriage. He had just got married for the 12th time!”
Thoughts on frauds and fakes… They made me feel stupid if I actually believed them at some point.
And if I didn’t believe them to start with, I’d feel a lil insulted: What? Do I look like I’m stupid enough to believe what you said?
I hate liars in general. I also don’t like people that said they are going to commit to something and then cancel on you. To me, that’s lying too, to a degree.
Aha, a lil off topic here.
hey Craig,
You know funnily enough I have had a lot of people who have tried to involve me in “fantastic opportunities” yet only the guys at the top had any of money with all the lackeys with none hmmmmm.
Also a friend who had this great ( her words not mine )personal trainer that she saw three times a week with absolutely no visible results after months. Glad to say she joined a gym recently and the results within four weeks were staggering in comparison.
There you go!
cheers janine
When I was in business years ago, my business partner and I went to a very well known, (yet remaining nameless) psychologist for some goal clarification for our business. She spent our first session whinging about her personal relationship. Needless to say it was our only session with her.
I used to argue with my old university lecturer that perception is not reality and that reality is reality. He was of course right. Perception is everything. Like the cleaner who drives around in a dirty car, the morbidly obese guy who has all the answers on weight loss and exercise, and the smoker who dies at fifty five because he knows that cigarettes are not really bad for him. I love people that get stuff done and don’t talk about it. As Mark Twain said “Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often”. Thank you for this article Craig.
Hey Kelvin.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Cheers…
Hi Janine.
Those bloody Personal Trainers!!
( )
Hi Joh.
Isn’t is amazing how stupid and socially unaware some educated people are?
Glad you didn’t go back..
Peace.
The fakes and frauds are the root of all evil…. if they weren’t lurking around every corner, we wouldn’t live on the edge of a defensive goal line stance…. wow… was that too graphic? This rings true in the personal arena as much as the business/professional. My grandmother used to tell me, watch how your boyfriend treats his mother, it’s how he will treat his wife. Actions speak, words are cheap… I like this one because it reminds me of my husband’s torment with his new girlfriend… if she cheated WITH me will she cheat ON me….. since he may be her 4th husband… does anyone want to do a little wager??? Ok, I am really not that bitter but it is fun to have a blogburst every now and then!
Hi Tami.
Grandmothers are smart aren’t they?
Husbands… not so smart.
Peace.
Hiya Craig,
I have a P.S quote for you here from a Persian poet ( just don’t ask me which one )which is a good guide.
“If a man be expert in any art he need not tell it , for his own skill will show it. “
Pretty apt I thought.
Cheers Janine
Hi Craig,
I recently had experience in my local gym where I am a Group Fitness Instructor. I walked in one night to take a class and noticed a pot-bellied, and generally rather over-weight middle-aged man standing behind the counter. He was wearing a T- shirt with the words NUTRITIONIST on the back of it! I immediately thought – “You’d be the last person I would come to for advice on nutrition!” For me he had no credibility at all. Great personality, no credibility! After my class I decided to quiz him in a friendly way to see what he was up to and just how knowledgeable he was. He turned out to be flogging a well known herbal supplement in our gym from which he made financial gains. He was a complete and utter fraudster, a BS artist! Later,when I questioned Head Office as to why he was working for us, they knew nothing about him. He had apparently walked in off the street and had conned a previous Manager to work there. He’d been sneakily flogging his products from his car for months and no-one had bothered to question him! He doesn’t frequent our gym anymore!
Hello
I am a 33yo newbie in the world of PT and the only thing I know is that my clients know more about what they need than I know. BUT – I am always impressed with the number of PT’s that specilaise in weight loss, boxing, cardio, corrective exercise etc and are only 23 and have only done a cert 4. Obviously they are very clever people (sarcasm loud n clear).
On another note, thought you may be interested in this study. In case you haven’t seen it here it is
http://www.umassd.edu/cmr/studies/cmrblogstudy.pdf
Not that you need help – your BLOG is great.
Cheers
Paul
Hello Newbie (Paul).
Thanks for the kind words.
Good luck with your PT career.
I think it should be those clients who needs to learn a lot of things about people. It’s clear that the instructor’s inappropriate behavior shows that he is not even concerned with his own health.
I am back, I agree. I was in the gyn this weekend.. let me ask this question. Am I wrong to get annoyed that an instructor, without an invitation, comes over and wants to show me the proper way to do squats? Ok, first, he doesn’t show by example, he just moves my body into the proper position, now to add insult to injury he has a santa belly….. I am not going to take unsolicited, lazy advice from a guy that I am clearly more fit than. I see a lot of people in the gym every day, some will ask me questions on what to do and some struggle through. I will always help when asked, but don’t these gym-flies realize that some are already intimidated just to be in there. In actuality, if you are fit, then you don’t have to approach people in the gym with titles… they come to you. All fakes protest to be… and never deliver. Thanks for the blog Craig!
Hi Helen.
I agree…
Peace.
Hey Tami…
Maybe he was just a chubby guy who wanted to put his hands on a hot girl?
Hi.
I believe that people who make wise decisions for themselves are those who have better lives. Most of us would simply stay away from people who don’t set good examples.