Sometimes I feel like I must have missed that group-memo coming into adulthood regarding the age-fun, inverted-correlation mandate. You know the one. The one that stipulates that as we age we are required to have proportionately less and less fun; also known as the Progressive Misery Theory. As a keen observer of human behaviour, I’m beginning to think that maybe there actually was such a memo.
So glad I missed it.
Have you ever noticed how boring, intense, predictable, grumpy and ‘unfun‘ (a word) some grown-ups are lately? If any of you ever see me being that unpleasant, feel free to slap me.
“But Craig (said in a whiney, annoying voice) you don’t understand my life, issues, problems, history, relationships, situation.”
“Yes, you are indeed unique to humanity, nobody has ever faced the adversity that you have.. . of course you should revel in your misery… if anyone rightfully deserves to be unhappy, it’s you!! “
Please don’t trip over my sarcasm as you walk through this post but I am sick of grumpy, miserable, Energy Vampires rationalising and justifying their perpetual long face and woe-is-me-ness.
Their shoulders must be so sore from carrying the world around.
Well, I do understand that people with terminal illnesses can, and do have fun (seen it)… and I do know that children living in poverty can play games and laugh every day (seen that too), and I do know that eighty year-olds can be fit, fun, positive, productive and amazing (seen it)… and I do know that quadriplegics can (amazingly) be more productive and have more fun without the use of their limbs because they make that choice (seen it)…. so my theory is that there’s a definite likelihood that your ‘lack’ of fun is less about your situation, circumstance or age and more about your shitty attitude.
Excuse my honesty.
How dare I tell you what I think and what you don’t wanna hear.
Feel free to dislike me.
Get in the (rather long) queue.
Ever noticed how some people always seem to have much more fun than most?
Just lucky I guess.
Or maybe because they choose fun.
I’ve chosen fun.
There’s a notion: fun is a choice.
Lately I feel like I’ve spent far too much time with, and around, the fun police… those grumpy, judgemental, opinionated old farts who peer down their nose at anyone who isn’t like them; mind-numbingly boring, miserable and predictable. They even justify their unpleasant disposition….
“You wouldn’t understand adversity if it hit you on the head… back in my day..”
Whatever Grumps.
Er, Gramps.
Here’s another notion: it is possible to be mature, responsible, professional, intelligent, productive… and to have a truck-load of fun on a regular basis. It’s also possible to do this at any age.
By the way, ‘fun’ is healing.
Money isn’t.
Neither are possessions.
I find it frustrating and sad that so many people seem to rationalise their behaviour because of their age. I am 45, 55, 65, 75… therefore I should do certain things, and not do others.
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing”
How true.
Over the years I have run many camps and live-in personal and professional development programs for people of all ages… and to give ourselves a break from the cerebral ‘classroom’ stuff, we throw ourselves into some fun-based activities, challenges and games.
Planned silliness.
I gotta tell ya… people of all ages love games.
And fun.
And laughing their guts out.
Get out a volleyball, football, basketball tug-of-war rope and watch people’s eyes light up.
Following the games, physical challenges and activities (not the reason they came on the program by the way) people always come to me and say something like… “that’s the most fun I’ve had in years…” When I suggest that they should invest more energy in ‘fun’ (games, silliness) and make it a regular part of their life, it’s like they have a revelation!
Yep, fun; you should give it a go… it’s quite enjoyable.”
Every day I give Johnnie (my right hand man) a hug.
Every day he protests.
He never reciprocates.
I am relentless.
Every day we wrestle (physically) as I do my best to share some ‘Harper’ love.
He resists, tells me I’m an idiot and we laugh.
He pretends he hates it… but he loves the love.
Sometimes I sneak up behind him.
Inappropriate, silly behaviour.
Fun.
A little spontaneous (or planned if you must) silliness is somewhat liberating.
And healthy.
It’s been suggested that, for a person in my position, my behaviour is periodically juvenile and inappropriate.
Well, to all those old farts… I’d rather be inappropriate than YOU!
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh so you’ve met my husband then!
Gotta love the love Johnnie!
What about “The Chaser” though? Are they taking things a bit far?
Hi Craig,
So agree with you that the ability to be happy and have fun is far more to do with attitude than age or circumstances.
I have a 90 year old father-in-law who is fit as a fiddle, walks about 4km a day, is involved in a church, a book club, a drama club,a music club, started learning to speak French, and to play the piano at 85… and the list goes on! Granted that kind of health is not given to everyone, so he is blessed, but he has grabbed that blessing with both hands and run with it.
On the other side of the spectrum is my 80 year old mother. Same good health, enough money to enjoy life, but has no friends, doesn’t go anywhere or do anything unless I take her, won’t reach out to anybody or join any activities. Sits at home feeling sorry for herself, saying “but I’m 80 you know”. I told her she’s may need medical help for depression, offered many times to go with her to get that help but she refuses. So sadly I’ve had to decide that she is one of those energy vampires, a bottomless pit. I’ve had to limit my visits to see her, and have very firm boundaries. Very sad.
Just a thought though… because people genuinely look up to you, just once in a while when you’re trying to get through to the “woe is me” brigade, you could mention that maybe some of them would benefit from a visit to their local GP. It may be worthwhile investigating the possibility that they actually have a clinical depression. Of course if people refuse to do even that much for themselves, even when someone volunteers to be their “rescuer” for a time, then I really think that for our own sanity and right to enjoy life, we have no choice but to limit our exposure to the “leeches” of life.
Keep hugging Johnnie, one day he’s gonna hug you first!!
Anne C
there is humour in adversity and its a cool coping mechanism. Comedians including the Chaser guys highlight our society’s inadequacies. We get to choose whether to laugh or frown but so long as it’s thought provoking, I suspect it’s done its job.
My 87 yo father and I were in fits the other day as he describe how my huge, gangly puppy woke him from his afternoon nap by licking his toes – yikes! She then leapt on the bed and proceeded to lick his face and he nearly spluttered out his false teeth as he fully woke – double yikes! He reminded me not to tell my mother, she wouldn’t approve of the dog being on the bed – disapproval was her choice, laughter was ours. Two seperate neighbours heard us laughing hysterically and came over to ask why – I’m really wondering what that says…
ps. I’m *not* laughing about my cellulite!!
Oh this is so spot on!! I’m of the school where I can act grown up and dress grown up (in deference to your new photo on your main page… LOL!!) when I have to, but believe it is totally overrated!! I love telling people how old I am because they never believe me.
I believe 100% that finding fun in life, laughing until it hurts over all things big and small, and finding the positive and lessons in even the hardest curveballs life has thrown me has kept me feeling and looking young. Shoot me and put me out of my misery if I ever become one of those people who complain and whine about anything and everything (I work with one… aaaaaargh!! But choose to ignore her most of the time and not let her pessimism suck me dry of energy).
I am unashamedly optimistic… after all, “A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” ~ Herm Albright
It was nice to read this post and see that there are others out there who believe that being too grown up is overrated!!
Regards, Rae
)
Hi Debstar… yeh, he’s grouse.
Hello Anon.
The Chaser, too far?
Sometimes…
Cheers.
Hi Anne C.
Tell your Mum I’m comin’ round to kick her butt. Even at 80 she needs to be physically, emotionally, cerebrally and socially stimulated and challenged!!
Tell her that from me.
Cheers.
Hi Molly.
Laughter.. good option.
Peace.
Hi Rae.
Very over-rated.
( )
Working amongst sick people has taught me the importance of laughter and fun.It is amazing how pain becomes less and physical symptoms reduce when patients are presented with oppertunities to laugh.I wish more people would take up this attitude.Thankyou
Someone in your position shouldn’t be juvenile and innapropriate???
Haven’t they heard of Richard Branson???
He is the king of immaturity.
Matt Collins
Hi Anon.
You’re welcome.
Hey Matt.
He’s got it all goin’ on.
Man, i needed a good kick in the pants this week to remind myself to quit taking myself so seriously.
thanks Craig for the boot
Awesome post! I ALWAYS enjoy reading your blog. I believe that there are people in this world who “get it” and others who don’t (these energy vampires, victims, no fun having individuals you speak of)! Thank you for being an advocate of the “get it” movement!
Too funny… just the other night we(age group 40+)were out doing a ride on our mountain bikes in the dark on singletrack (yes, with lights) and we wondered if we thought as kids we would have so much darn fun as adults!
Alane, St Louis MO USA
Hi Gogo.
Happy to provide the kick.
Cheers.
Yay fun!!
Hooray silly!
First, me thinks Johnnie protests too much…
secretly, he yearns for your embrace, I am so convinced…
love on, I always say!
Secondly, to survive in my family, you must be able to deal with silly and embrace goofy!
For example, there is always an impending sneak attack, a coup (coo) if you will. ALWAYS!
Standard MO (method of operation): the dreaded… Pants-ing!
Ever been pants-ed? Here’s a briefing: It is when someone (usually someone you love and/or trust) sneaks up behind you, grabs your pants by the waistband on both hips and yanks them (and anything else that will go) down to your ankles and runs!
A true pants-ing never occurs without an audience, and the thrill of this maneuver NEVER dies and NEVER gets old.
Yes… in the house, in public, with visitors, without…
family, friends, or even the random door to door Bible salesman may fall victim, NO ONE is safe!
You will be pants-ed at least once a weekend, and twice during the week for the High Achiever!
My son, Austen, 8 years old has become the master… extreme quickness and that innocent face are his best allies. (You feel the draft before you even realize he was in the room, the kid is that good!… yep proud mom!)
Acclimation is your best defense… as somehow, this attack is not only very successful, it is also a crowd pleaser, so there is no end in sight!
You can’t beat them but you WILL join them… and yes, I am pretty fast too!
To acclimate you should:
1. Always wear cute panties/underwear (and hope they stay in place, or their cuteness is moot!) It doesn’t stop the attack but it does lessen the embarrassment factor.
2. Always tie drawstring pants, snuggly.
3. Limit any attire with elastic waistbands (or you honestly have no hope, like a sitting duck).
4. Don’t start the battle… it will never end… never ever!
5. Try not to have both hands busy or dirty… like cleaning out a jack-o-lantern or fingerpainting… this is too tempting for even the maturist (it’s a word, right Craig?) pants-er (another one?) to resist! At this point, you are just begging for your pants (and cute undergarments) to be wadded up at your ankles! It is a defenseless stance and there is no hope of a speedy recovery without making a mess of yourself! Very rookie move to say the least!
So, anyone wanna come over this weekend?
()
Tam
Hi Lauren.
Thanks!
Cheers.
Hello Alane.
Are you allowed to have that much fun at your age?
Cheers.
Tami.
That’s quite the picture you’ve painted for us all.
Dunno that I really wanna do that to Johnnie.
In fact, I’m sure I don’t.
For many reasons.
Mainly, because I don’t deserve it.
In Australia this practice is known as ‘Dacking’.
( )
I agree too. I am a mature age student in Sport Sc and have been doing sport with 18 and 19 y.o.’s and enjoyed it and their company so much. How great is it to just have a fun time, laugh and play.
Hey Craig,
I’m glad you are not one on those boring old farts .
I’m glad you still try to give Johnnie a hug on a daily basis….
and I’m really glad I’m not there for any dacking!
Cheers and have a great day!
Janine
Hi Java.
Hangin’ out with youngies is a good thing.
I went to college at 35 also!!
Peace.
Hi Janine.
Everyone needs a good dacking now and then… ( )
Hi Craig,
I’ve been reading your blog for a little while now and this is the first time I have got around to posting a comment (I know, I know, slack).
Your post today struck a chord with me because I probably acted old before my time when I was in my twenties! I still had fun, but not as much as I could have till recently.
Last week I turned 40 – have made no secret of that fact, after all’ Life Begins…. whenever you decide to make it begin. I bought myself a magnet to stick on my Fridge (hopefully to distract me from the FOOD in it!) stating “If you haven’t grown up before you reach 40 – then you don’t have to!”. I consider myself a mature, responsible, intelligent person – afterall, if “I” don’t, who will?? – but being sometimes silly and immature and laughing at life a little adds so much to it.
Have a Great Weekend all
Susan
Hey Craigo,
Who wants to grow up??? Not me!!! No fun in that!
And tell Johnnie to stop being a sook and enjoy the Looooovvvve!!!
Cheers…..SB (ol fart #1)