Wasting Time on Bullshit

Fun and Games in Adelaide

Hi Team. Hope you did something spectacular, if not enjoyable and relaxing, over your weekend. Johnny and I spent Friday night and Saturday in Adelaide sharing some RYL love and eating cheesecake with some of those fine South Aussies. And a few weirdos too. You know who you are. Apart from some uncontrolled laughter, a little inappropriate subject matter (bowel movements, flatulence) and a catering lady who was determined to collect my teacup from the table in front of me in the middle of my presentation (serious), it was a day of education, motivation and inspiration and came complete with laughter, tears, hugs and resolutions for change. Thanks to everyone who made us feel so welcome. We enjoyed every minute of it and look forward to heading back some time soon.

The Stunt Driver

You’ll be pleased to hear that our competition winner Jo Thomas was at the workshop (with her fine man Tim) and she is looking awesome. The weight is dropping (consistently), the fitness is increasing (significantly) and the cigarettes are gone for good (yay). Keep up the good work Jo, you’re doing great. And to the lunatic stunt driver and her co-driver (you know who you are) who chauffeured(!) us petrified lads to the airport, thanks. For not killing us. It was an experience we won’t forget and it certainly snapped me out of the post-cheesecake coma I was slipping into. Our next RYL trip is to Brisbane in a few weeks, so Johnny and I look forward to meeting some of you Queenslanders and sharing some cheesecake. I mean, inspiration and education.

Tears and Snot

After getting in to Melbourne late last night from Adelaide thanks to a delayed flight, I decided I might take it easy this morning (writing this late Sunday) and watch a DVD that one of my gorgeous readers sent me (thanks Michelle from Tasmania). At the start of this year I read and wrote about one of my all-time fave books; Tuesday’s with Morrie. After hearing about the book for years, I finally took the time (and showed the common sense) to read it. You’ve probably read it, but if you haven’t done so, make the effort. You’ll thank me. It’s simple, relevant, honest, challenging, uplifting and if you let it be, life-changing.

Anyway, the lovely Michelle sent me the movie version starring Hank Azaria and Jack Lemmon, so today I put my tired self on the couch and pressed ‘play’. I then spent an hour and a half bawling like a grumpy two year-old, while contemplating the various messages Morrie (an incredibly wise man in the last months of his life) had to teach me. And yep, it’s a true story. I’m so glad I was alone because the whole tears thing may have brought my incredible alpha-male-ness (a term) into question. And I wouldn’t want that of course.

Stop Wasting Time

While the story pushed many buttons and offered many important lessons on many levels, the key message for me was – don’t waste time on bullshit. And don’t we have an incredible talent for doing just that (periodically at least)? I’ve done it, so have you. It seems that people are never more open, honest, genuine or practical than when they’re dying. They don’t have time for their ego, their issues or their self-esteem to get in the way of what they need to do and say. All the bullshit disappears. They just do what they have to. With ease. All the stuff they couldn’t say, they communicate with ease. It’s amazing what can be said when the fear of rejection and embarrassment aren’t an issue. They don’t have the time to waste so they become dynamic, effective and powerful. Ironic really. All that (ultimately) pointless humanistic crap (what we look like, what we wear, what people think) which only distracts us from the important stuff (friends, family, love, communication, connection, forgiveness), instantly becomes irrelevant and meaningless when someone is told they are going to die.

What MattersWhen we think about it, we all have a finite amount of time to spend here on the big blue ball and some of us have (had) a gift for wasting that precious time for too long. In truth, we might be here for another day or another fifty years. Of course we don’t know. It’s a pity that so many of us need to be confronted with some kind of tragedy before we get a healthy level of perspective and some kind of grip on reality; what’s really important and significant in the context of a life. Our life. Be brutally honest with yourself and think about how much time, effort and energy you’ve wasted over the course of your lifetime not saying and doing some of the things you should. Too much? Me too.

Am I not Pretty Enough?

Some of us have spent years (and years) trying to be rich enough, beautiful enough, lean enough, smart enough and desirable enough because that’s what our dysfunctional culture has taught us we need to be. But it’s a complete fraud. Mostly we come out the other side of that pursuit feeling decidedly lonely, empty, frustrated and unfulfilled because we’ve totally neglected the important stuff – the stuff life is really about; the sharing, the connecting, the communicating, the giving, the sacrifice, the learning, the kindness, generosity; the unconditional and uninhibited process of loving others. In our urgency to get, we forget to give. Some of us have spent a lifetime trying to meet internal (emotional, spiritual, psychological) needs with external (physical, material) solutions. It doesn’t work. So stop trying. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being beautiful, buffed and rich… except when we start to believe that what we look like and what we own, is who we are.

See you on the morrow… x

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