Twelve Steps to Get Shit Done

No Frills Personal Development

I’ve certainly covered the following information many times over on this site (possibly not all at the same time). However, it’s become apparent that not everyone connects with, relates to or gains value from the traditional personal development language or paradigm. Or words like paradigm (for that matter). Many of my readers have shared with me that their partner (sister, brother, mother, father, boss) needs to hear these (types of) messages but they seem to have an aversion to anything that smells like ‘motivational speaker’. To be honest, I don’t blame them. Some motivational speakers are a little smelly.

So, here it is team: my no frills, twelve-step, personal development philosophy for people who hate self-help stuff and cheesy motivational types. In order to avoid boredom, confusion and distraction, I’ve kept it simple and succinct.

Step 1. Don’t talk shit. Shit-talkers are notorious under do-ers, under-achievers and under-performers. They’re also pains in the arse.

Step 2. Don’t wait for shit to ‘work out’
.
Idiots wait for things to work out. Rather than hoping things will happen, make them happen.

Step 3. Lose the shit attitude.
Attitude is a choice. Better attitude equals better decisions, behaviours and outcomes.

Step 4. Don’t eat shit
.
Being unhealthy on a physical level means you won’t function optimally on any level: mentally, emotionally, professionally or socially. Eat shit and you’ll look, feel and function like shit.

Step 5. Give a shit about others.
Being a self-centred dick ain’t a recipe for success.

Step 6. Don’t make shit harder than it needs to be.
Life’s challenging enough without you complicating the simple. Suck it up Princess.

Step 7. Do shit early in the day.
Being productive early puts you in a better place (mentally, emotionally and creatively) for the rest of the day.

Step 8. Let go of your shit beliefs.
It’s time to lose those self-limiting, disempowering beliefs. They’ve run your life for long enough. You’re good enough, talented enough and, yes, you deserve happiness.

Step 9. Shit happens and life’s not fair - deal with it.
More often than not success or failure will be determined by the way you react to the situations, circumstances and events (good and bad, foreseen or not) of your world. Better reactions equal better results.

Step 10. Don’t focus on (or obsess about) shit you can’t change.
Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control.

Step 11. Don’t avoid shit. Putting your head in the sand just shows the world your arse. And none of us want that. Lasting change begins with awareness and acknowledgement. Step up and do what’s necessary.

Step 12. Don’t over-think shit. Analysis paralysis is a painful, pointless and unnecessary condition. To think is good. To obsess is bad. Stop obsessing.

There you have it, Grasshoppers: politically incorrect self-help. In fact, let’s not call it self-help, let’s call it… some free practical advice. Of course, some will be offended and bothered by this type of language and message but fortunately for me… I don’t give a shit. ;)

You may want to attach (nail, staple, rivet, sew, glue) these twelve steps to the forehead of someone special. And then run.

You’re welcome. :)

Don’t forget to check out parts two and part three of Getting Shit Done.

If you liked this article, subscribe to my blog and receive my FREE eBook. Click here: I want a FREE eBook. If you’re interested in having me work with your organisation you can contact me here.

{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

Lynda Cahill October 14, 2010 at 7:17 pm

I have always loved that you are a no shit kind of guy. I loved this post and am going to print it off. Thanks Sweet Cheeks xo

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Jenny October 14, 2010 at 7:17 pm

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice one Craig! I can hear Sean laughing from here..

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Jenny October 14, 2010 at 7:19 pm

BTW, a cousin of mine recently gave me some very good advise about shit. “Shit happens, so make sure you’re prepared, carry a plastic bag and chuck it in the bin before you step in it”

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Jo Thomas October 14, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Nicely put Craig! :)

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kate October 14, 2010 at 7:30 pm

i have a great arse and believe me craig some do want 2 see it;) but point taken there is really only one thing ppl notice when ur walking out the door and that is ur arse; it either stinks, talks, is dimpled or is lifted and hot its all in the arse but regardless the same ‘shit’ comes out!

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Anon N October 14, 2010 at 7:48 pm

Big pile of s**t you got there! Is it healthy to like this article? Considering the recurrent nature of a certain kind of terminology…

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kate October 14, 2010 at 9:02 pm

anon n… If it floats its healthy ..we all have it so decide

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Anon N October 14, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Is it a sort of scato-therapy?

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Anonymous October 14, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Hi everyone

Sometimes I can be pretty funny and ‘full of shit’… but Craig number 7 should also include always ‘take a shit’ — like pooo on the loo or outside if you prefer in the morning (a coarse term for defecation -”I took a shit” ..like stool: have a bowel movement – hard or soft or sloppy whatever…you feel much lighter to start the day. And you drop a few kg’s just before you step on the scales….joking….not!!!

And in my case spot the ‘bullshitter’ – is that in the dictionary? I looked it up for everyone: obscene words for unacceptable behavior; “I put up with a lot of bullshit from that jerk”; “what he said was mostly bull”
• like jackarse… so gals ditch them …

And enjoy life….

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Terry October 14, 2010 at 10:21 pm

As always Craig, eloquently put.

Thanks for that, i need the shit kicked out of me.

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Jenny October 14, 2010 at 11:22 pm

I have re-read this several times now, and I laugh harder each time I do. Listen Budgie Bottom, we are not your grasshoppers Ok?? LOL Craig!!!!

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Tina Johnston October 15, 2010 at 1:18 am

Hey Craig !
Some seriously good shit there !
{{HUG}}
Tina

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d October 15, 2010 at 1:31 am

Priceless! I almost snorted coffee all over my monitor with trying not to laugh too loud at the office :)

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Anonymous October 15, 2010 at 3:48 am

This is THE shit! Pure Gold, love it!

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Anonymous October 15, 2010 at 4:50 am

Jeez Craig, I would turn your bed around so this side is up against the wall you dont keep jumping out the wrong side every morning! :(
Re: You dont give a shit

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sez October 15, 2010 at 6:00 am

What is the saying…..’if your shit dont stink?’
I love this shit, it has a freshness and purity to it! Once again you have defied the political shit and done a GILLARD, the only difference is you have birthed the shit yourself and really quickly! No epidural required for this one, very refreshing, good shit man!
I hope your day is not one filled with CRAP! xxx

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Annette October 15, 2010 at 8:10 am

Oh… I get it now!

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Kate October 15, 2010 at 8:30 am

Annonymous ..DO i really need to state the obvious IF HE DIDNT GIVE A SHIT he would WRITE THIS FOR FREE !

far out…

AND ANYWAY So what if he didnt… would it matter? to the end result NO

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Ange October 15, 2010 at 9:01 am

Sugar Honey Ice Tea Anyone!!

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stormy bear October 15, 2010 at 9:40 am

Life is full of SHIT its only the depth that varies!!

This is great SHIT Craig and its high time everyone out there woke up and smelt the SHIT and get their SHIT together and get on with it. Those who are offended by this language and these sentiments are the ones who this all refers to. I always find that amusing. Those who need to hear this SHIT the most are the ones who get all offended by it. Mmmmmm…..sticking their heads in SHIT perhaps?

Thanks for sharing this SHIT with us Craig i am definitely printing this off now and putting it up in the office as a constant reminder when i can feel myself getting bogged down in stupid SHIT :)

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Jen A October 15, 2010 at 9:41 am

Mr Harper! Such languague – what would your mother say?

Some good points though, even if it did feel like I was overhearing a conversation between fifteen year old ferals.

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Leigh-ann October 15, 2010 at 9:42 am

Love it!!
Thanks Craig xo

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Mel October 15, 2010 at 9:50 am

Love ya work Craig…..Love it…..pure gold….

Love Mel

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KR17 October 15, 2010 at 9:52 am

Anonymous (the one with the sad face icon)

Are you kidding? Out of all that information, the only thing you can find is something to criticize Craig about? If you don’t know that he cares about people, you must be reading a different blog. Loved the article Craig. So right. So honest.

Kaz :)

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Janine Hill October 15, 2010 at 10:16 am

…… I think I will use rivets……….

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Mon October 15, 2010 at 10:27 am

Love the straight talking! Very hiliarious, true, fairdinkum and wise.

Isn’t it funny how (most times) the language used to discuss personal development or personal growth is well…flowery……

Personally, I don’t mind a bit of ‘flowery’ or ‘deep’, in fact I relate to it a lot. But for the people who don’t or wouldn’t look at a book or an article that has used the words ‘personal growth’ anywhere, this post is pure gold!

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fran October 15, 2010 at 10:36 am

Brilliant! This is shit we all need to hear..I will print a copy of this and read it whenever I am having a shit day. I will also pass it on to clients who need to get their shit together. Good one Craig, you sure know your shit :)

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Scotchmonster October 15, 2010 at 10:38 am

Gotta say I love it. The 12 steps it is!
I have noticed that following the 12 steps can be “draining” on the people around you who just don’t get it. Especially when I just don’t get them.
I often get challenged on my energy and enthusiasm. This starts to bring me to others level at times until I remind myself I’m not interested in that.
How can so many people be so accepting and apparently happy in “their normal” overweight, diabetic, depressed, alcohol loving sedentary ways? I have Mates who are approaching 50 who look and behave 65.
Luckily I have Mates approaching 70 who live the life of 40 year olds so I think I’ll spend more time with them :)

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Marty October 15, 2010 at 10:43 am

Brilliant and beautiful! I will be forcing this upon one particularly unwilling participant forthwith.

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Kathy October 15, 2010 at 11:48 am

Just a quick note to say this posting made me laugh….sometimes you just have to put in directly as SHIT happens so they say.

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pcb October 15, 2010 at 11:48 am

Shit is this brilliant!

Thanks for a great post

pcb

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Craig October 15, 2010 at 11:56 am

Thanks for your comments everybody…

Yep, sometimes (not all the time) less is more and sometimes the baseball bat is more effective than the arm around the shoulder or the positive affirmations… :)

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Brian October 15, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Leave a Comment
Oh heartless cruel guru. You are so right. !!!!
I looked at your outpouring of thruth and asked myself what I can do to ensure that I become shitless so here goes. No shit only actions.
Thanks for The reality check.
Step 1. Don’t talk shit. Shit-talkers are notorious under do-ers, under-achievers and under-performers. They’re also pains in the arse.
Action
Think before you speak. What message do you want to convey? Meaningful constructive helpful, or self appeasing?
Step 2. Don’t wait for shit to ‘work out’. Idiots wait for things to work out. Rather than hoping things will happen, make them happen.
Action
Visualise the result and start working towards it instead of thinking about it. By trying various ways to achieve the result find the right one.
Step 3. Lose the shit attitude. Attitude is a choice. Better attitude equals better decisions, behaviours and outcomes.
Action
Observe thoughts and words and decide whether they are helpful or not. If they are unhelpful dump them.
Step 4. Don’t eat shit. Being unhealthy on a physical level means you won’t function optimally on any level: mentally, emotionally, professionally or socially. Eat shit and you’ll look, feel and function like shit.
Action
Ask yourself why you eat what you eat. Are you happy with the answer?
Step 5. Give a shit about others. Being a self-centred dick ain’t a recipe for success.
Action
Care for those around you as you would like the to care for you even if they don’t.
Step 6. Don’t make shit harder than it needs to be. Life’s challenging enough without you complicating the simple. Suck it up Princess.
Action
Do the unpleasant things first , get them out of the way. They might even become pleasant after you have done them.
Step 7. Do shit early in the day. Being productive early puts you in a better place (mentally, emotionally and creatively) for the rest of the day.
Action
See step 6 and do the things which need full energy and focus early as well as the nasty chores.
Step 8. Let go of your shit beliefs. It’s time to lose those self-limiting, disempowering beliefs. They’ve run your life for long enough. You’re good enough, talented enough and, yes, you deserve happiness.
Action
Successful Action changes beliefs. Perseverance eventually succeeds. just do it
Step 9. Shit happens and life’s not fair – deal with it. More often than not success or failure will be determined by the way you react to the situations, circumstances and events (good and bad, foreseen or not) of your world. Better reactions equal better results
.Action
Become conscious of how and why you react.
Step 10. Don’t focus on (or obsess about) shit you can’t change. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control.
Action
You can control most of what you do. You can’t control others except by example
Step 11. Don’t avoid shit. Putting your head in the sand just shows the world your arse. And none of us want that. Lasting change begins with awareness and acknowledgement. Step up and do what’s necessary.
Action
Just work through it with the outcome in mind. Cling onto the outcome no matter what.
Step 12. Don’t over-think shit. Analysis paralysis is a painful, pointless and unnecessary condition. To think is good. To obsess is bad. Stop obsessing.
Action
Think clearly. Treat over analysis as a diversion to procrastinate

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Nicole October 15, 2010 at 2:39 pm

I Printed it out and stapled it to my own forehead. :S

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Wendy October 15, 2010 at 3:40 pm

ROFL!!!!! Love your work :)

Have a great day!

Love Wendy xx

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Kat October 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Craig – you should make a poster (or a T-Shirt) out of that! That’s good shit man!

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anon October 15, 2010 at 4:41 pm

So funny but soooo true.

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IMPA October 15, 2010 at 5:01 pm

I love it! I’ll put it somewhere…(may be on my forehead?;) to keep it constantly in mind.
GREAT thanks Craig! For some reason such words work better on me:)

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Elle October 15, 2010 at 5:44 pm

I love this, and today is a day I really really needed to read it. I knew you a long time ago Craig, and I dare say you are getting better with age. This didn’t shock me, I often heard you talk like that at Harper’s…..I thought you were grumpy, but I have to admit, you are good. Thanks for the kick up the arse, time for me to go and do some shit. Have an awesome weekend.

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A Regular But No Saying October 15, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Nice post shame about the word.

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Rebecca October 19, 2010 at 8:19 am

I’ve been thinking about this post. I have printed it our for stapling, but I made one change. I think Step 12 is covered in other steps so I changed it to Step 12. Dont get shitty about what other people have/do. Chase the dream not the competition.

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Nick October 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Hehehehe, love it. Sometimes you need it thrown in your face. Gold

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Sandra October 21, 2010 at 10:57 am

All hell broke loss when the shit hit the fan.
Best 12 Step Program
I have a copy attached to my fridge for constant reminding to get my S**T together.

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Anon November 18, 2010 at 1:00 am

Can I translate this?

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Marcelo November 19, 2010 at 6:24 am

This is good shit

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Motivational speaker July 1, 2011 at 7:41 pm

LOL very funny

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Jem McGuiness July 25, 2011 at 9:44 pm

love this post, so funny and true..i’m still laughing

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Yolande May 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Absolutely love this shit!!! simple but effective …the best. Thank you

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Anonymous February 4, 2013 at 4:47 pm

Craig,

I’ve suffered from anaylsis paralysis since I got kicked out of dental school 16 years ago. Excuse my language, but fuck them and I’ve got better things to do with my time than fill holes. Thanks for helping me realize that my analysis paralysis is an obsession to want things perfect in life and NOT a healthy way to prevent failure.

Ann

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ning.com July 29, 2013 at 7:29 am

Asking questions are really pleasant thing if you are not understanding something completely, but this post gives good understanding even.

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Kate December 31, 2013 at 9:18 pm

Hey Craig. I have just read several of your posts – one of the guys at Results Fitness Evolution where we train, put up a link to one of your posts and I just went from there. I have posted some of your stuff on my page, hoping more people will see it and read it. Great stuff – priceless – and smart.

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Arevv July 14, 2014 at 5:00 am

Too much shit to deal with! :D

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