Too Many Balls in the Air

When I was young and silly (last Tuesday) I had a bad habit of trying to keep fifty balls in the air at the same time; a dangerous practice for a man with the motor-skills of a new-born foal. I was always trying to do way too many things at once. Probably too much ego, excitement and enthusiasm and not enough logic or planning. Juggling ain’t really my thing. Clearly I’m not a circus performer or Superman, and invariably my attempts to do a whole bunch of things at the same time would result in me doing nothing particularly well. Instead of doing one or two things well, I would end up doing ten things badly. This of course, resulted in frustration, poor results, loss of motivation, disappointment, wasted time and often, a loss of confidence and momentum for me. Sound familiar?

Many of us have so many things that we want to do / achieve / create that we never seem to get focused about any one thing for very long and therefore never really make significant progress or see the changes we want. Before we know it, we’re five years older, we’re still going around in circles, we’re no closer to turning our dreams into reality, and we’ve dug a hole for ourselves that we can’t seem to get out of.

Recently I facilitated a mentoring session with a lady; a new client. She told me about her history and her current life and then we spoke about her dreams and goals for the next five years; what her future life might look like. When I asked her what she wanted to achieve specifically over the next five years she delivered a fifteen minute monologue. “Wow, she has reaaaaaally been thinking about this for a long time”, I thought. I went and bought myself some cheesecake, had four coffees, started a new company, made eight phone calls and when I came back she was still going! Well almost. She wants to create and run her own business, undertake and complete a university degree, write a book, travel extensively, compete in a body-shaping competition, do some volunteer work with an international charity, design and launch a range of clothes and become a successful corporate speaker. And that’s the abbreviated list. All good goals (if that kinda stuff floats yer boat).

The Problem.

The problem is that she has had these goals (or similar) for the last five years and she’s achieved none of them. Not because she doesn’t have the ability, but because she has never totally committed herself to any one of those goals; too many balls in the air. Great at starting, crap at finishing. “Something always gets in the way”, she told me. “Yep, you and your terrible I-can-do-it-all strategy get in the way”, I replied. She always has ten fingers in twenty six pies an as a result, typically achieves not much. Surviving and coping, rather than thriving and creating.

The truth is that we don’t complete (or even start) things for all kinds of reasons; procrastination, ignorance, fear, practical issues, poor organisational skills and a bunch more. But far too often, we don’t achieve our goals because:

1. We simply don’t prioritise – We don’t put certain things on hold even though we should because that’s what makes the most sense for now. We simply try and do too many things at once. We are unrealistic in our approach. We don’t use our time, resources or skills optimally. We work hard not smart. We are very busy achieving not much. We are emotional and reactive, rather than methodical and strategic.

2. We don’t totally commit. To succeed at any endeavour we need to totally buy into it; emotionally, psychologically, financially (perhaps) and practically. Half-assed effort equals half-assed results. I see it all the time – people who want amazing results with minimal effort; without doing the work. They are ’sorta, kinda serious’ and they hope it will all work out. Things don’t work themselves out. You build your best life or you have it shaped for you by situations, circumstances, environments, events and other people – it’s a choice. You can continue to be a professional spectator and pathetically hope things will magically work out, or you can get in the game and start scoring yourself.

3. We don’t get focused. We have the attention span of a two year-old. We change our mind every five minutes and we get distracted easily. Every week we’re gonna do, and be, something different. We need single-minded, unwavering determination and focus, not occasional bursts of enthusiasm. If you’re not totally sure about something, don’t start it.

4. We constantly doubt ourselves – and we look for others to tell us it will all be okay. Sometimes we are insecure children in grown-up bodies. We feel like fakes and frauds. Join the club; you’re not Robinson Crusoe. We’ve all got issues, doubts and fears. At some stage, everyone feels like they are not good enough, smart enough, talented enough, attractive enough, qualified enough or credible enough to do whatever it is they want to do. Get over it. I’m not a psychologist, a philosopher or a theologian but I spend much of my professional life talking about the psychological, the philosophical and the spiritual. Why? Because it’s very relevant to my job and because I don’t need any particular qualification to share an idea, a thought, or an opinion and that’s what I do. Wanna hear something interesting? I have mentored and coached many psychologists because on some level they like and connect with my unorthodox, praca-demic approach. Alright, are you listening? YOU’RE OKAY! You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval. You are good enough. You will learn and when you land on your ass - get up! Stop finding reasons to do nothing, reasons to wait. Stop letting fear make your decisions for you.
There, you’ve been told.

Remember that once upon a time Michael Jordon had never thrown a basket, J.K. Rowling was an unknown, wanna-be writer, U2 were a bunch of anonymous musicians and Benny Hinn didn’t own a white suit!!

5. We suffer from chronic analysis paralysis – we think and talk too much and do too little. Always analysing and planning, never actually doing. Planning is good but not when it’s all we do. Do something today (anything!!) to get you closer. To ignite that spark. To get those wheels turning and to create some momentum.

So, what to do then? Well, if you have a history of too many balls in the air for way too little results, then here’s what I suggest…

Prioritise RIGHT NOW.
Not tomorrow, not next Tuesday, not when it’s convenient, now (okay, after you finish reading this). Get clarity and certainty about what you want most and where and how you should invest your time and energy in the short to medium term (now). Put certain things on the back burner because that’s the smartest thing to do for right now. Sometimes we need to be prepared to let go of some things in order to move forward with others. Don’t let this freak you out. Commit to doing one or two things exceptionally well and get busy, focused and productive. Be less of a dreamer and more of a doer. Dreamers dream while doers are out there getting shit done. And please stop waiting for some cosmic sign or some kind of approval from someone else. You don’t need it; you are good enough.

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