We all know that I have a propensity to be somewhat… straight forward.
Blunt perhaps.
Politically incorrect.
Periodically rude (according to some).
An unfair assessment I say but….
Oh well.
I’ll cope.
Sometimes straight forward.. is exactly what’s needed.
Less fluff.
Less talking in circles.
Less vague… more specific.
Less mystery.
More honesty.
There’s a concept.
We can dance around it… or we can call it as it is.
“Err, yes Mrs Smith… well… the test results are back and surprisingly, your child is not big-boned… he actually comes under the clinical classification of… really fat!”
“Huge even”.
“Mrs Smith.. Mrs Smith… where are you going?”
“And by the way… no, it’s not puppy fat…we checked.”
“It’s person fat..”
“Mrs Smith don’t throw that table… you’ll dislocate something…”
So last night I had to speak at a fundraising dinner.
Hundreds of people, big auditorium, six speakers(!), me, the last on stage and a whole twelve minutes to speak.
Can you imagine me speaking for twelve minutes?
I’ve never done a twelve-minute presentation in my life.
It takes me longer than that to order my lunch.
Most of my presentations/workshops last for somewhere between one and eight hours.
As I was driving to the venue, I was wondering how the hell I could have any significant (lasting) impact on a group of people, talking for such a short period of time… and as I’m all about being a catalyst for change and making a difference, I thought I may have to skip a few of the normal, feel-good preliminaries.
Okay, all of them.
Might have to jump straight into the good stuff… and see what happens.
So I took to the stage for my twelve minutes of power.
It was the end of the night (a week night obviously), people were tired, it was late, they had already heard five other speakers and endured one of those fabulous charity auctions… and it’s fair to say that they probably weren’t on the edge of their seats with excitement as the ex fat kid strode to the podium.
I was the only speaker with no notes, no power-point presentation, no impressive visual aids, no handouts… no anything.
Just twelve minutes of me.
Giddy-up.
For seven hundred and twenty seconds I told everyone in the room exactly why we’re such a fat, unhealthy, disorganised, dis-satisfied collective of people.
I took two breaths for the whole presentation.
I was like Jacques Costeau without the flippers.
I spoke about the psychology of getting in shape (and staying that way); specifically about procrastination, attitude, blame, excuses, avoidance, personal responsibility, honesty and decision making… not a bad effort for twelve minutes.
And I didn’t hold back.
As this strategic (but entertaining) tirade was coming out of my mouth, I scanned the room.
I saw a mixture of laughter, fear, confusion, interest, amusement and revelation.
Nice mix.
While some of them probably hated my guts… the majority of the feedback I received was overwhelmingly positive.
Nice.
Surprising even.
So I guess I learned three key things:
(1) I don’t need to talk for so long.
(2) I need to be a lot more offensive; clearly I’m too polite.
(3) If you make people laugh… you can smash ‘em over the head with some brutal truth while they’re catching their breath.
Okay… I’m off to work on my new highly-offensive, five-minute, life-changing workshop.
Time-efficient personal development at its best.
I wonder how much I could charge for that?
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Craig,
It is a pity we don’t have more self help professionals like yourself that cut through the BS. You’re blog is #1 in my feedreader.
Rick
Irving, Texas, USA
Hey Rick.
Thanks Man.
I wonder if everyone (anyone) else in the States would share your enthusiasm!!
Peace.
This is why I keep coming back:
“he actually comes under the clinical classification of… really fat!”
“Huge even”.
Working without a tightrope. I like that.
Loretta, Motherwell, Scotland.
Go Craig! I wish I coulda been there! No fancy stuff – and no need for what they already hear on TV, Radio, in magazines…I always say to my students the best way is straight to the point and you always manage to cut to the chase craig – well done! (BTW if what you say is offensive I bet it’s because it’s a truth they don’t wanna hear!)
Ok, first… I am from the states and I am hopelessly devoted to you! Have no fear, there are quite a large portion of us that don’t hide behind the curtain of the politically correct communists. Unfortunately, we never make it on CNN, pity. Some of us find it ridiculous that a fat woman can sue a McDonald’s because her son is fat. While on TV, he advised (with his attorney present, no less) that he eats 2-3 Mighty Kid meals 5 days a week. If I was the DA in that city, I would have brought the woman up on charges of child neglect, why isn’t that child eating at home? Has anyone ever heard of vegetable or some lean protein? Their argument was, McD’s advertises a Mighty kids meal would make him MIGHTY! What????? How about suing the school system for churning out kids that think fried burgers and fries are health foods? So if Nike claims that shox will help me exercise and I buy them and wear them to McDonald’s and my a** expands… can I sue both of them?
Craig, no worries, you are adored on our shore too!
()
Tami
Hi Loretta.
No tightropes here.
Peace.
Hey Jen.
You know I’m no good at fancy.
( )
Hi Tami.
Always love a bit of devotion.
You definitely qualify for my cult.
We live in a time when people love to play the blame game…
Thanks for the love Tami
( )
Hi Craig
I’ve just read your book Fatitude and I loved it. It really spoke to me and I love reading your blog daily. It’s great to hear your no bull approach.
As a teenager my mother always told me I was just bigboned, but over the last few years I have learnt that I’m not big boned, but fat and that I can change my body shape and have the body I have always dreamed of. I am slowly on my way getting closer to that goal and increasing my fitness as the same time.
Thanks Craig and keep up the great blogs.
Cheers
Kristy
Craig being blunt? Never! Haha. Well Craig you’ve never had a reputation for being subtle but you tell it like it is and that’s what people *need* even if it’s not want they want.
You’ve already motivated me to make positive changes in my life and I’m sure you’ve done the same for many other people who visit this site. Keep up the good work!
Hi Clare.
Yes, I have a PhD in blunt.
You love it.
( )
Hi Kristy.
You’re very welcome.
Keep up the good work and let me know how you’re progressing.
Peace.
Where can I also get that PHD in Blunt?? Imagine the how much easier things would be if that approach was taken and accepted by more people!!!
You will have to scan the weekend papers, checking to see if any of the columnist where in your audience.. imagine what Lillian Frank would have to say???
Craig, as always a great post. I love your style: straight to the point, no beating about the bush with you.
Steve
Hello YM.
Keep coming to the University of Harper… and you’ll get your PhD soon enough.
( )
nice Craig (and short).
I have to admit, something about your site has been bothering me which is why I haven’t been back in a while.
Your font size is so tiny that I’m having a difficult time following the text. I actually have to squint to see what you just wrote – this was a turnoff for me and it’s the reason I haven’t been back in over a month.
Just putting it out there,
Steve
PS – I agree. Laughter does wonders.