CDs up the Wazoo
Has it ever occurred to you that, despite the fact that we live in a time when we’re up to our cerebellum in personal development resources (CDs, DVDs, seminars, webinars, books, coaches, websites, programs, gurus, experts), as a group (you know: the human group), we’re just as dysfunctional as ever? It’s something I think about often.
Has anyone else noticed?
The Role of Personal Development?
I sometimes wonder if (the industry of) personal development is actually part of the solution to the numerous challenges confronting humanity, or if it’s just another mechanism for some organisations and individuals to make money. And yes, I acknowledge that I am part of that industry but hopefully the free articles I’ve been writing and publishing for nearly four years will tell you a little about my key drivers.
Have you ever wondered why some personal development junkies (I’m sure you know at least one) never seem to actually change? I mean really change. I’m not talking about some momentary shift in behaviour (going on a diet, joining a gym, starting a course, reading a book), I’m talking about genuine, inside-out, never-going-back, total transformation.
Clearly, ‘knowing what to do’ and ‘doing what we know’ are different things.
“Oh, you mean I need to apply this stuff… for, like….ever? But that’s so… er…long? What if I get busy, or bored, or distracted, or uncomfortable, or scared? What if I lose interest or motivation? What if it’s not fun any more? And what if people don’t care, or help, or understand or support me?”
Welcome to life, Princess.
Sure, some folks talk a great personal development game (the theory of positive change) and sure, they know all the self-help jargon, but despite the books on their shelves, the CDs in their car, the post-it notes on their fridge and their inevitable plans for transformation, they (and their lives) always seem to be in about the same place. Always at the threshold of something huge. Soon… ish.
Of course.
Great in Theory
Could it be that, for some people, the theory of change is much sexier and much more appealing than the practical reality of it? Could it be that, while they dig the feel-good, hand-holding, back-slapping, warm-fuzzy stuff, they’re less enamoured with (maybe terrified of) the work, effort and risk that’s required beyond the workshop (seminar, book, website, mentoring session, etc.)?
I think so.
It’s my contention (Your Honour) that, for many people, the idea of transformation is much more appealing than the actual process: the doing bit. And that’s the crux of the problem. The idea of a better reality (relationships, body, career, business, financial situation, spiritual life, etc.) makes us feel momentarily warm and fuzzy but it’s the sweat, discomfort, discipline and sacrifice required in the reality beyond the theory, which keeps many people in a holding pattern for years.
“But Craig, you don’t understand my situation.”
Whatever.
I’ve observed many people living in the middle of extreme adversity and dealing with unthinkable pressure and hardship who have consistently found a way to achieve, survive and overcome despite their situation, so these days my threshold for excuses and excuse-makers is relatively low. If all someone wants (from me) is attention or sympathy, I’m not the guy.
Do I care? Yep. Will I attend someone’s pity party? No.
I’ll buy an excuse a few times but not a few hundred. Some people have been wheeling out the same lame-arse excuses for years. Decades even. I’m always amazed by the number of people who are always just about to change their life.
This is known clinically as being full of shit. 
Now, why do you think the above sentence will offend some people, yet motivate others (to take action)? Because getting offended or getting motivated is a personal reaction, that’s why. A choice. Some people would rather get offended than get responsible, honest and proactive because it’s easier and requires far less effort. Things only have the meaning, significance and value that we allow them to have in our world and some people will spend much of their lives finding new and exciting ways to get offended and angry.
And to keep doing nothing.
It Works, When We Work
So too with personal development on a broader level – it’s not about the information, it’s about what we do (or don’t do) with it. Some people will benefit immensely from certain programs simply because they choose to consistently apply the information, strategies and ideas, while others won’t benefit at all because once they leave the program (talk, presentation, seminar) they step straight back into their old destructive mindset, habits and behaviours. These are invariably the same people with the “oh, that program didn’t work for me” attitude.
Programs don’t change people, people change people.
As long as we think that any person, program or product is our salvation, then we will continue to give away our considerable power and potential. Listen to me carefully (okay, read me carefully): your greatest resource is YOU. Not me, not any program, website or book: you. You already have all the amazing you need.
Time to use it.
The day I tell you that ‘Craig the Personal Development Bloke’ is the solution to your problems is the day you should stop reading my articles. I can influence, encourage and educate you (if you allow me to) but I can’t change you – or anybody (but me) for that matter. Part of the personal development myth is that it fixes people. That it (insert program or product name) is the answer. Can it be valuable? Of course. Can it be a waste of time and money? Of course.
Some people (organisations) sell personal development like it is some kind of non-stop, easy-peasy, fun-fest. They think that if they can develop a product that’s sexy, simple and sellable, people will buy it. And they’re right. Quick, convenient, effortless and painless transformation sells like hotcakes. Who’s not gonna buy that? Sign me up.
If only creating (genuine) life-long transformation was, in fact, a quick, easy and painless process. In the commercial world of personal development, telling the truth ain’t always good for business.
But Wait, There’s More…
“Come along to our one-hour, no-obligation free seminar and be inspired to greatness…. and then before we let you leave the building, we’ll badger the shit out of you, make you feel incredibly uncomfortable, pressure you till your eyes bleed, tell you how much you need our product and try to sell you everything that isn’t nailed down. And when you stupidly resist, we’ll go with Sales Plan B, C and, if we have to, D – but only because we care. And if all that fails and you somehow resist Plan D, we’ll be incredibly rude to you on your way out of the building…”
Personal development products are a little like breakfast cereals. We should ignore what’s written on the front (it’s not information, it’s a sales pitch), and read the teeny-weeny writing on the teeny-weeny nutritional information label on the back to see what we’re really buying. If all else fails, taste it. You’ll know if it’s full of crap.
Of course, there are also many high-quality personal development resources on the market but how valuable these programs, presentations, people and products might be still comes back to what we do with the information.
Being someone who works in the field, I’m not interested in writing articles or books, delivering presentations or facilitating workshops just for the sake of it. The day I think I’m wasting my time (not making a difference, not being of service) is the day I’ll find something new to do.
Maybe I could become an exotic dancer?
Shut up.
I’m of the opinion that personal development is merely a resource to help people like you and me create better results (outcomes, situations, experiences, realities) in our world. That is, positive change. Simple. Better relationships. Better careers. Better communication. Better health. Better understanding. Better habits.
Better lives.
While I have always had enormous faith in the ability and potential of ‘normal’ people, I’m constantly astounded by the amazing things I see people doing, creating and achieving despite their circumstances, their situation and their limitations. I’m also aware that a percentage of our very talented group (the human group) will spend much of their lives wasting what they’ve been given because they’re too angry, lazy, precious and fearful.
Take your mind there and your reality will follow.
Personal development is simply a fancy-schmancy name for creating a better life. That’s it. The concept is not a new one. Just read what most of the ancient philosophers, theologians and teachers had to say and you’ll discover that we’ve all been trying to achieve the same thing (in one way or another) for thousands of years.
Creating lasting transformation is not about joining a cult, accumulating books, learning the jargon, becoming a self-help evangelist or wasting our life-savings flitting from one amazing program to the next. Rather, it’s about rolling up our sleeves and doing what we need to, day in and day out. No matter what. It’s about changing from the inside-out.
So, if you’re sick of spinning your wheels in the theory, perhaps it’s time for you to fearlessly step into the reality of personal development. 
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But it is also about the afterlife, psychic powers etc. These things do work. But you are correct and I was guilty of this, I didn’t apply them.
But I also think they become like a drug these personal development things and you scratch your head wondering why the person, career, six pack abs, lotto win has not come then told to pay out more money as The Secret “was not enough”.
And please no exotic dancing.
You know you want it Michael
[...] Personal Development: The Theory Vs The Reality [...]
Hiya Craig,
exotic dancing hey…that could be fun…ny lol!
I am still working at making me better, and just recently I have become employed by Weight Watchers as a team meeting member or in the old terms weigher/recorder. This has happened over the last two weeks. I am still attending the gym and have recently joined up to do the Mother’s Day Classic again (8 kms and have to beat 1hr 40min that I did last year) I have heaps of plans to better myself and continue to lose weight.
I may not have got to where I want to be yet but I am still applying what I have learned from you and know that it won’t happen overnight but it will happen.
I have been a bit absent on here of late as I have got busier but I have read all the posts. Keep ‘em coming…I think it could be better for you than exotic dancing lol
hugs
Chelle xxxx
I learned a technique called the boiling frog approach to change which has helped me.
The idea is to make the changes very quietly and slowly without telling anyone, so each small change is hardly noticeable. For example:
1. Make temporary changes that become long-term.
2. Slip things in whilst people are distracted elsewhere.
3. Bury small changes in larger items.
4. Gradually isolate unwanted and negative people.
[...] Personal Development: The Theory Vs The Reality [...]
[...] Personal Development: The Theory Vs The Reality [...]
So here’s the thing, when I moved house in June 09, I counted some ridiculous number of weightloss books that I own. I can tell you now, out of all of them, I hadn’t read one from cover to cover. They always sounded so bloody preachy. And I’ll tell you now, I still haven’t read ‘em. It didn’t take one of those weightloss books for me to lose 65kg
So when it comes to it, the bookstores can keep their books, CDs and audiobooks. I lost weight by doing, not reading. And that’s exactly how I’ll keep it all off.
Like you. I have seen an extraordinary number of talented people waste their potential. However, for some of these people they have little or no interest in the things that I perceive would make them more successful.
Ryan
I’m sure you’ve seen this one a thousand times before (and then some!), but thanks for this. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me.
I’ve been on the “I hate the way my life is going, and I’m (going) to do x, y, z … ” or, “I wanna do a, b or c” … I’ve got the books and read the websites. I’ve had the life coach and the personal trainer who kicked my butt for 6 months while I trained for a marathon (I was 143 kg/313 lb at the time – walked it in 10 hours). I’ve had the mentors at work and in other places. Yeah, I have achieved. I have made changes. I’ve also reverted to type in many areas because change was “too much” for me to keep up with. I got scared basically. Scared of the success. Then … What’s that?
Here we go again. Now I’m scared of the failure and slapping myself round the chops with a wet fish because I’m annoyed with myself for letting success ignite this stupid “I don’t deserve this” undercurrent again. Bull! I do deserve it. Just as much as the next person does. And the next. And the one after that.
Then there’s the other one. Trying to change in order to keep OTHER PEOPLE happy. Like THAT is ever going to work. When I first started on this personal development route, My best friend got me moving. I was 182 kg/400.5 lb and really unhappy with life, health issues and struggling to let go of a lot of sh** stuff that happened to me during my childhood. She asked me a question: how do you think I’m gonna feel when I’m standing over your grave because you couldn’t be bothered to do something?
Jeez, did that hurt. It cut through me like a knife but it got me going. I got down to 135 kg/297.5 lb over the next 4 years. My confidence increased, I built better relationships with family, I tried more things, believed in myself more. I learned to smile more too. Then the person who was by my side from the start of my journey retired from her position (I joined weight watchers a month after my friend threw out that comment). I lost my way. Even doing the marathon with an ex-military guy as a personal trainer didn’t help me find it again.
Right now I’m at that place where I’m not quite back to the beginning but have been heading for it even though it is the one thing I want the least. Just like a moth to a flame. I don’t know what I weigh because my scale return an error verdict whenever I stand on them. I wonder why … not! I mean …
~ My lower back burns like hell with every footstep.
~ I’m out of breath walking from my flat to my car.
~ Stairs are hard work.
~ I developed plantar fasciitis a few months ago which is preventing me from doing salsa – something that I love doing. I tried to do 10 mins of a beginners lesson last week and paid for it for the next 2 days. Could barely stand let alone walk.
~ My hormones are giving me the run around (insulin resistant, possibly have polycystic ovaries too – consultant said their is a genetic link but what percentage? I think it’s more to do with my lifestyle!)
You know what though? I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m at the stage now where I’m pig sick of how I feel. I’m 35 but feel 55 (or older) because bits of me keep going wrong. Now it’s my turn. I’m making choices for myself. I want to get back up on that dance floor again. There isn’t a hope in hell of that happening while this massive wad of protection is surrounding me.
I forced myself to go to the gym 3 times this week. 15 mins on the bike each time and I did one resistance session. It doesn’t feel like much but it’s what I’m able to do right now. No comparisons to the past are allowed. That’s a surefire way to incite failure and failure is not an option. I keep going until it feels like I’m living at that gym!! I’ve booked some swimming lessons too. They start on 22nd April.
I start Slimming World on Monday 29th March (a UK alternative to Weight Watchers). It’s a plan I have never tried before. I’ve told 5 people that I’m doing it. My family and closest friends are NOT – and nor will they be – among the privileged few. Too much pressure to be a performing seal when they know what I’m up to! During this week I’ve found the meeting I want to join, de-junked my food cupboards, planned some menus and ordered the shopping. It was delivered last night.
I’m trying to kick my sleep pattern into touch too. It is rubbish. Five hours a night if I’m lucky. I’m either waking up every hour or sleeping for a few hours, waking up and drifting off an hour or two before the alarm kicks off (then snoozing for a further hour coz I’m so friggin’ tired :-\
So far I’ve set a strict getting up time of 6am even on weekends. I set the alarm on my mobile to go off at 9.30 pm – time to switch off the PC and all other stimulation and get ready for bed. Then I sit and do something brain numbing til my eyelids start drooping. That’s the cue for bedtime. I haven’t set a time, I’m letting my body tell ME when it is ready to go to sleep. Last night my head hit the pillow at 10.23pm but I was awake 2 hrs later and spent the rest of the night with my eyes closed but fully aware. I dunno, maybe I got more sleep than it feels like, lol. Still got up at 6.00 am! Methinks it could get worse before it gets better but it’s in my best interests to keep on with this.
I am on a mission to build a better life and it starts right here, right now. With ME in the driving seat. Will keep you posted
Helen
Farnborough, UK
PS I’ve borrowed Mel’s mantra – nothing and no-one is gonna keep me fat!
I’ve also got Steve Pavlina’s expalanation of self discipline plastered in as many places as I can think of:
Self discipline:
(A)cceptance of the current situation – check!
(W)illpower
(H)ard work
(I)ntegrity
(P)erseverance
It takes as long as it takes – my journey has begun!
OMG! Terrific piece!
Too many of us want results right now. It takes time to figure out what you like, what you’re good at and what will work with your schedule. Many of us are just too impatient to reach our goals. We are not prepared to wait the necessary time for changes to take effect.
This is the first time I have viewing your work. It is so simple, to the point, and very well written. Please continue sharing your words of wisdom.
T.
Dear Craig
Your latest post is absolutely spot on! I had been (and occasionally still am) guilty of reading, reading and reading many things on personal development & growth, somehow thinking that just by reading I would miraculously adapt some of these things! Until I looked back at 2 years gone and saw that nothing had changed! Once I started implementing some aspects I did see some changes, and so it went on.
My question is what is your advice regarding how to know what to read & implement at a given time in one’s life? Having a vision for many aspects of your life and focusing on those is important (from what I have heard) and obviously having a coach is something that will help in this regard, but how does one know what things are most important know vs later vs not at all?? There is so much info out there it can be sometimes very hard.
Your insight and opinion is very much appreciated.
Thanks
Tass
Good read Craig !
For me it all adds up like this
minus doubt plus belief & self respect
minus sugar plus a good dose of fun
- Butter /Marg + lots of water
- extra oils + extra sleep
Less carbs More veg.
Less salt More fruit
less couch potato More incidental exercise – keeping busy
less self pity More exercise = 1 pretty healthy me
Great post!
Yep, the theory of long term change is the fun part! IE being at that personal development seminar with confident inspiring teachers and amongst other enlightened students there for the same reason as ourselves. Drawing the charts of our ‘dream lives’ making collages etc is the fun part!
I think the first thing we have to realise is our ‘dream life’ may not be attainable for everyone. For example with would take much dedication for someone on $40000 a year or less to:
* build a personally designed beachside mansion in area we wanna live
* Go on a 6 week overseas fun holiday every year with some glamour
* Go on a 2 week annual ski holiday
* Own/build a fitness/beauty/spa retreat style business on the coast near home
* Attain and maintain under 18% bodyfat and participate in many fitness events such as triathlons etc and be somewhat competitive with times etc.
* Regularly entertain at my flash home with friends and family and wine/cocktails and fresh nice food.
I’m not saying that isn’t possible but for someone on a below average income, no savings, it’s a lot to strive for and believe we will achieve.
We need to prioritise, set standards we are prepared to work for, not give into every short term destructive pleasure we want, not be swayed by clever marketing, be able to get back on track if we disappoint ourselves. And make goals we feel I can/will achieve, make a plan and do it I think!
“You cannot be anything you want to be if you work hard enough, but you can be more of what you already are.” I really do stand by that quote, however the problem is that most people don’t really know who they are and what their natural talents and inclinations are…they still would like to change and are very attracted by the idea of change but when it comes to practice, it doesn’t match their “DNA”, hence they’ll quickly loose interest and succumb to old habits. There is a difference between learning a new skill and improving ones-self. You can and should only try to improve that for which you already have talent. People spend way to much time on areas of development which are not a reflection of them selfs, hence maybe achieving mediocrity at best. It’s like putting dolphins in fresh water…they won’t like it…actually they’ll pretty much suffer because of it.
My advice, which I don’t really expect people to follow, but at least consider, is…try to know yourself first, find your identity and focus on what you do best, take a closer look at those hunches you seldom find yourself thinking about…you may find some of them have a better chance of realization than you grant them.
thought provoking article.
keep on writing.
very good question from Tass.
Therein lies the biggest problem, you’ve outlined it very well.
To paraphrase you: The IDEA of having wonderful things in life in relationships, finances, our bodies, spiritually is warm and fuzzy and much more appealing than the actual blood, sweat, and tears required to get there.
I think this IS at the heart of the biggest challenge with not just people, but humanity in general. While there may be many personal development products out there, I do believe only a few genuinely provide value AND are done because the person cares about those using it.
My hope is to provide value and I strive to fight this problem of just feeling warm and fuzzy about a better life but not doing anything about it. I figure as long as there is a multitude of people who are not doing anything about it, I will always have work to do.
I hope that one day human-kind as a whole achieves a shift and the work I’m doing is no longer needed. I thank you for this article and I like your straight up, blunt approach. Thanks!
Just quietly……ballpark figure……how much for a lap dance?
You’ll get there Chelle. Nice to hear from you… ( )
Thanks for sharing Louise
Good for you Laura
Cheers Ryan
Good for you Helen – we will look forward to those updates.
Think less, do more..
Thanks for sharing Leestop
Thanks T
From Tass:
“Having a vision for many aspects of your life and focusing on those is important (from what I have heard) and obviously having a coach is something that will help in this regard, but how does one know what things are most important now vs later vs not at all?? There is so much info out there it can be sometimes very hard.”
Hi Tass, keep in mind that there is no universal right or wrong – only right or wrong for you. Beyond the survival basics (food, shelter, clothes), only you can decide where you should be investing your time, energy and talent.
Having said that, I would suggesat that you don’t try to juggle too many balls at once otherwise you’ll end up doing a bunch of things badly, rather than one or two things well.
Get clear about your core values and beliefs and then do your best to make decisions, embrace behaviours and live a life in alignment with those things…
Hi Craig,
It is obvious you put lots of time into todays post. I think everyone thanks you loads for that. You certainly tell it like it is. I reckon the last 2 weeks of posts (including CJ). have been some of the best over the past year
And Helen, thanks for bringing out the steve pavlina. That guy is nuts, seriously
.
Hi Craig,
Yes, we are all our own greatest resource, but your priceless posts really do help to keep me pity-party-proof.
Seems like a good equation Leanne!
Nice addition Pip
Thanks for sharing Laurentiu
I will Hakan
You’re welcome Jeremy and hopefully, we can be part of the solution together…
Hi Kelly NH
Hmmm, good question. I’m thinking one large baked cheesecake.
Good posts all but two comments:
1. Watch what you say Craig about exotic dancing ok
I might like it after all 
2. I want to pick up on the core values bit. I hope this comment is not seen as a know it all one but this is what I believe.
I feel that it is not only that we do not know them, I feel that if we know them we may not make decisions inline with them.
This happens when we want a person, a job, money etc. How many have done crimes especially stealing money or shoplifting but knowing 100% they will get caught and their core value is I won’t steal? Or eat late at night when the core value is I want to be fit? Start pleasing the other person to get them to be your partner as other posters on here have reported? I can go on and on, the point is, sometimes core values are sacrificed – what if you had a mortgage but your boss was making you do unpaid overtime. You would value the money over the abuse most likely but one’s health and relationships would suffer.
Personal development courses are not the way to the ideal life but they do give knowledge for the potential and I am happy to go along to them, but it is up to me to apply them.
Hey Mick – I appreciate the feedback. Thanks, I’m doing my best!
Make sure you avoid those parties Lisa – don’t make me come over there girl!
but you promised you’d come
Absolutely right. It comes from inside out and not from outside in. That is what I blog about. It starts with ourselves and how we see ourselves. This post was great.
When I read this post, I think – you have heart. The big difference.
I agree with all your points about personal development products – but know that you yourself produce these things because of your genuine desire to ‘be the change’.
To know that people do these things from a very genuine and heartfelt place is, for me personally, very encouraging. So thanks (again). And don’t you go considering that exotic dancing thing again !! It’ll never suit you.
That’s my 2 cents worth for today – nice to drop by…
Hugs,
Mon
[...] Personal Development: The Theory Vs The Reality [...]
THe fun part is definetly to allow that change to contiue to happen.
Great post! When I intially thought about changing my life I actually didnt realise I would have to be doing this stuff forever which is probably a good thing! For me it really is just for today (when I remember) and those small things really do make a big difference.
I have just experience some rather large shifts in my life.. which to the oustdie world seem like that happened overngiht when in fact I have been trying and falling for last four years… anyway I went from a part time claims assistant to a an Analyst, a full time smoker and binger to a part time group fitness instructor who maintains a great steady weight… and these are just a couple of the tangile things… Anyway I am still full of excuses but at least a little bit of turning up has changed things for good!
Thanks for all your encouragement ,enlighenment and continuous awareness.
Kate
Thanks Craig. I love the conversation / dialogue style of writing that you have. I found this article personally touching…constantly evaluating my potential and hoping to change…being incredibly busy but so often not value adding busy. I am “trying” to cut out the noise but can’t seem to make the quantum leap I know I need…there is a fear of some sort holding me back but I’m just not sure what it is?? I completely agree that the person holding me back is me but it is very hard to rewire the grey matter if you know what I mean….
Hi Craig … “Think less, do more …”
Hmm … That’s three of you who have said that to me recently. You, my salsa tutor/creative writing mentor and a very successful French photographer. You can’t all be wrong
It’s 5.55am here & yet another rubbish night – sleep for 2 hours, cat nap for the rest of the night. Maybe that hot choc @ 10.30 wasn’t such a good idea after all …
Kinda feeling the fear about tonight’s weigh in. I wanna know though – so I can set the first mini target. Best get moving – mega long day ahead. Work, date with destiny, home for dinner then out the door to salsa. Course I still go – currently unable to do it but I’m learning by observing. It’s social too. What more could a gal ask for?
well organized thoughts and great conclusions, thanks for the post craig
Hello Craig.
This is bit off topic but you are always writing about the effect our thinking has on our body. I found this article called Optimistic women ‘live longer’. It’s six months old, but relevant to your message. E.g. Pessimists had higher blood pressure and cholesterol. The link is:
Optimistic women ‘live longer’.
Diana
Love this Craig. It is my experience to a T and that T doesn’t stand for transformation – in fact what does that T stand for?
In my business, I work with people who are ready to transform into happier, healthier, more attractive individuals, getting what they want from life.
I wish I was in the business of working with people who “would like” to be happier, healthier, more attractive and getting more out of life – I’d be a multi-millionare. Seems there are a lot of people thinking about it but not many people actually doing something about it.
Hi Craig,
you always seem to know what to say when we are looking for it. If I knew 3-4yrs ago what I know now about awareness,acceptance,learning and taking action I wouldn’t have suffered and struggled when I collasped in a burnout situation.
The only person that can create change in me is me. Change can only happen if I take action. Wanting and doing are two different things.
We cannot come out of a situation, grow,move on, unless WE make the change,not only emotionally but especially physically.
Not knowing how to,is only a block until you take action. When people are prepared to take action there are hundreds of people around us waiting to help. Books and website for more support.
The suffering,the struggle is not taking action. If I didn’t reach out to find and make changes I would still be stuck today.
Instead I have accomplished soo much because I wanted to change, I wanted to feel and be happy again and feel like I was living. Don’t we owe it to ourselves to be happy and alive.
I think when most people who discover personal development become addicts because it makes them feel so good. Then. over time, they realize that they’ll actually have to do the stuff the books and CDs talk about.
You’re right when you say that the ones who do not apply what they’ve learned in their lives, will ultimately see no advancement.
Fantastic post!
I think we get stuck on trying to change our outer circumstances..that if somehow we can change our debt situation, relationship, or job scenario, that we’ll be better off. The thing is, change begins on the inside. When we change what we focus on..when we focus on what we actually want – our goals and dreams…and we channel our attention and energy towards that, we are growing and changing. It sounds too simple, but is so true.