Personal Development Fraud (part one).

* Hi Guys. I apologise for being a little scarce lately; the realities and practicalities of my life loom large at the minute. I Hope this finds you well, happy, stimulated and creative. Keep pushing, keep that eight year-old alive, keep getting uncomfortable and don’t forget to live, laugh, love and learn.

Like any ‘profession’…. the personal development profession is inhabited by a wide range of ‘interesting’ characters who collectively bring an even wider range of qualifications, skills, backgrounds, abilities, philosophies, egos, attitudes, personalities, perspectives and motives to the self-help table.

And like any other profession, there are people who operate with integrity (good guys) and there are those who are maybe not quite so ethical (not-so-good guys)…. people who, despite what’s coming out of their mouth, book, CD, DVD… are actually more about helping themselves than they are about helping anybody else.

They’re slick, polished, articulate, clever, well marketed, talented… and full of crap.

Despite their philanthropic, selfless, all-about-you overtones, their primary (if not, sole) objective is …. to make money.

Lots of money.
They’re not driven by a desire to help people, they’re driven by greed and ego.

Now before you jump up and down and get grumpy at me for getting all… ‘Mother Teresa’ on you….. I’m not (getting all Mother Teresa).

I have no problem with anyone making money from personal development as long as they’re up-front, honest and transparent about how things (really) work; I do have a problem with people lying, pretending and mis-representing themselves…. and being ‘there for you’ and ‘understanding you’ when they don’t obviously know you, or anything about you.

What they do know is how people think, feel and react to various stimuli and they do know how to capitalise on that; how to push people’s buttons.
They do know how to engage and connect with an audience (or an individual), but don’t confuse those skills…. with care.

They also know how to whip people into an emotional self-help frenzy…. for an hour or so.
Maybe a day or two.

But unfortunately, changing someone’s emotional state for an hour or two doesn’t equate to genuine, ‘forever’ change (why people pay their money in the first place).

Now, I am the first to acknowledge that all change is ultimately up to the individual and what they do with the tools, information and resources gleaned through their personal development experiences/lessons but it seems to me that some PD gurus are actually more about empowering themselves, than they are their audience.
They want followers, devotees.
Gotta keep those financial wheels turning.
Imagine if they genuinely helped you to become an effective, fearless decision maker, action taker and problem solver, then you wouldn’t…. need them.

Aah.

Real personal development is all about the student becoming self-sufficient and in turn, becoming the teacher… and then, helping to empower others.

Of course they have a vested interest in keeping you coming back for more.
If it only took one book, one workshop or one consultation… how could they make more money from you?

I also have a problem with some of the sales tactics employed by some people and organisations to coerce, manipulate and pressure people into ‘buying’ more courses, DVD’s, workshops, on-line support and newsletters.
People turn up to the ‘let-me-help-you-change-your-life-forever’ workshop, only to find there’s actually another workshop they’ll need to attend after this one…and another stack of cash they’ll need to find before their self-help journey is complete.

Okay, perhaps one more workshop.
And a live-in program.
And another.
And of course they’ll need the CD collection for the car and office … just to be sure.
And possibly some on-line counselling.
But only for a few years.

The irony of (most) personal development options is that many of the people who really need the help (practically, financially, professionally) ….. can’t afford it!

Having said all of that, I also acknowledge that there are many fantastic, generous, philanthropic, amazingly successful PD types who succeed on a commercial level and also ‘give back’ more than most. I have met and worked with many people who make a living from personal development; most of them have been honest, ethical and generous.
Some of them, incredible.

But not all of them.

Don’t confuse charisma, white teeth and razzle dazzle with integrity… (and no, I am not talking about any particular individual here… I know what you’re thinking – you’re wrong!)

So… do I think I’ve got it all sorted?

No.
I know I don’t.
For starters, I’m not a guru, just a bloke.
I’m a work in progress…. just like every person I’ve ever met.

Am I selfish? Sometimes.
Do I get things wrong? Often.
Do I offend people? Wadda ya think?
Do I make mistakes? Plenty.
Do I get scared? Yep.
Am I flawed? Very.

But I also understand that if I wait until I’ve ‘got it all together’ (no such a thing) before I try and help others, or share my thoughts and philosophies…. I’ll be a hundred years old and still in therapy!

Nobody has it all together.
I’ve never met a person who isn’t fearful, insecure or needy on some level… at some stage.
Ever.
And I’ve hung out with some reasonably ’successful’ people.

So let’s summarise:

1. If you’re going to head down the personal development path with your hard earned cash, then be discerning and wise… don’t be fooled by the smoke and mirrors.

2. Don’t wait until you’ve ‘got it all together’ before you start investing into the lives of others… because the more you invest into others… the more you help yourself.
Ironically, sometimes the less we focus on us… the more we grow.

3. Personal Development gurus have just as many issues, fears, insecurities and flaws as the next person; they just hide it better!

Tomorrow I will explore some of my (least) favourite Personal Development messages (myths, fallacies, lies) here.