Personal Development – Back to Basics.

* Today will be a refresher for some of you. When it comes to creating real change (as in, never the same) in our life, it’s my opinion that many of us are still complicating the simple and barking up the wrong self-help tree.
So to speak.

The fact that you’re reading this tells me that there are things in your life, your world, your reality that you want, or need to change.
No biggie… just makes you normal.
I want the same.

You wouldn’t spend the time you do immersing yourself in literature like this, if you didn’t want different (better, more, less) in one or more areas of your life.
And while we all want it, read about it, talk about it, think about it and maybe even plan for it (our own version of amazing that is), it seems that the vast majority of us (us the society) don’t actually create it.
Don’t believe me?

Take a look around.
Not a cursory glance, but a long hard realistic look at the majority of the population.
Frustrated, unfulfilled, unhealthy, out of shape, in debt, periodically miserable.
Not everyone (of course) and not always… but often!

A couple of days ago we spoke about the fact (okay, I spoke) that we consumers are constantly being bombarded with an ever-increasing range of Personal Development information and ‘change-your-life’ options… yet here we are (I’m referring to the collective ‘we’ again) all these ‘lessons’ later, still doing the same dumb crap, producing the same undesirable results.
Every day.
Most of us are not living our optimal life.
And not because we can’t, but because we don’t build it.

I know people who have been coming to this site every day for over a year, and in all that time they’ve changed nothing.
They want to, but they haven’t.
Apparently it’s a timing thing.

“Love the info Craig, just not doing anything with it right now… but soon”

Er, okey doke.

So I thought that maybe I should write another one of those complex five hundred page mind-bending self-help books, complete with heaps of research, lots of stats, a few graphs, some quirky quotes, a few inspirational pictures, a bunch of psycho-babble and maybe I would cap it all off with some impressive interviews with over-qualified people who speak a language that you and I don’t understand.
Okay, maybe that’s just me.

Or perhaps I’ll just write a post.
Yep, post it is.
No graphs, stats, quotes, interviews or psycho-babble and definitely not five hundred pages.

In my work, I use an effective step-by-step process when I’m coaching people to help them create their best life. Yes, we’ve covered some of this before but a little timely revision seems to be in order.

It ain’t rocket science but it works.
And we want simple and effective.
And free!
Can’t argue with that price huh?

Here’s the five-minute version:

1. Decide if you are genuinely prepared to do what’s necessary to change.
Some people crash and burn right here. I have sent many people home (from my office) because they were simply not emotionally and mentally ready to do what was necessary. They wanted the results without the journey. The change process is regularly uncomfortable… are you ready for that? I’m not talking about riding a short-term burst of motivation here, I’m talking about implementing forever practical, behavioural change and doing what needs to be done consistently. I’m talking about your life, not the next month.
Too many people get in shape for the wedding… but not for life.
And give up smoking… fifteen times.
That’s not ‘different’… that’s a temporary behavioural change.

2. Find yourself an accountability partner.
This is not (always) necessary, but often a good idea. Your accountability partner may be a friend or someone a little more professional like a coach, trainer, mentor or psychologist. We all need a little support, encouragement, feedback, honesty and direction. Don’t choose someone who will tell you what you want to hear, choose someone who will tell you what you need to hear. Sometimes we need a cheer squad… other times we need an ass-kicker.
The voice of reason.

3. Get clarity about what you do and don’t want.
If you can’t define it, you probably won’t create it. Be specific. Vague doesn’t create momentum. If you’re not positive about what you want, step back from your reality for a while and gain some perspective. Step out of your busy-ness and find some space to think. If you’re still struggling… start by identifying what you don’t want in your life, and work from there. If you don’t do this, you’ll wake up in five years and still be living an existence you don’t enjoy or want.
Seen it too many times.

4. Some honest self-assessment.
Identify what’s held you back in the past. Time for some honesty and humility. Don’t beat yourself up, just be realistic about how you handicap you. You will always be your biggest obstacle to success and I will be mine. Sometimes we need to learn to get out of our own way!! If you don’t address the things which have limited you previously, all the planning, dreaming and hoping will amount to nothing… and you’ll fall into the same unproductive traps.
Be honest, be realistic, be practical and don’t be precious.
Typically, things like laziness, procrastination, fear, lack of organisation, ignorance, pride, stubbornness, lack of planning and poor preparation are high on the ‘why we fail’ list.
Remember: If nothing changes, nothing changes.
And… if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
But you know that.
So let’s do different to get different.

5. Make some significant decisions.
Yep, it’s time.
You know the ones.
The ones you’ve avoided for too long.
The ones you need to make but don’t necessarily want to.
Not the fluffy, which-socks-will-I-wear-today decisions… but those big-ass, I’m-gonna-change-my-life-no-matter-what.. decisions.

6. Set specific goals around those decisions.
We all have an intellectual understanding of what goal setting is and how the process works but my experience tells me that most people don’t have a day-to-day application of it in their lives.
Sure, they have a vague wish-list but are they practical and productive goal setters?… Nup.
Many people stumble along the path of under-achievement their whole lives waiting for success to happen to them.
Dumb plan.
Behavioural goals: I will walk to work three days per week. I will reduce my coffee to two cups per day.
Health goals: I will lose 10kgs (22lbs) over the next ten weeks.
Career or financial goals: I will open my own business within two years. I will pay off my credit card by March.
Lifestyle goals: I will take a minimum of four weeks holiday annually.
Family goals: I will spend X time with my kids every week.
Fitness/sporting goals: I will complete a half marathon within six months.
Personal development goals: I will read one book per month and do four workshops per year.
You’ve got the idea…
Specific, measurable and time-based goals work best.
They keep us accountable and pro-active.

7. Create a plan.
Now that you know where you want to go, you need to figure out how you’ll get there.
You won’t accidentally succeed.
Commitment, determination and positive attitude are important, but if you don’t have a map, you’ll never arrive at your desired destination.
Many people fail simply because they are dis-organised and haven’t planned appropriately.
Passion is valuable but it needs to be wrapped around an intelligent practical plan to create real change.

8. Take action and keep taking action.
Talk less, do more. Doers succeed.
Do something (big or small) today which will get you closer to where you want to be.
Make a phone call. Buy some runners. Make an appointment. Go for a jog. Clean the junk food out your pantry. Fix a broken relationship (you know the one). Start reading food labels. Enrol in a course. Buy a diary. Get uncomfortable. Take a chance.
Do it again tomorrow.

9. Improvise, adapt, overcome, deal with set-backs
Often the most successful people are simply the ones who deal most effectively with the hurdles, obstacles and challenges… “It’s not what happens that matters, it’s how we react (choose, communicate, act, cope, manage) that matters.”
Two people go through the same experience:
One says, “I gave it a shot and I failed.”
The other says, “okay, so that didn’t work, I think I’ll try it this way.”
One labels a particular experience ‘a failure’, the other calls it ‘a lesson’.
One steps up to the plate and grows, develops and learns.. the other spirals into an emotional, woe-is-me, self-destructive tail-spin.
Perspective can make or break us.
Reactions can make or break us.
Don’t talk yourself into failure.

10. Finish what you start
The number one reason we don’t achieve what we set out to is we don’t finish what we start.
It’s not a talent, opportunity or timing issue… it’s a ‘perseverance’ issue.
We are a collective of people who are constantly starting and stopping things.
Consistency is the key.
Why don’t most people who join gyms achieve their goals?
They don’t go.
They start but they don’t finish.
Even when the motivation wears off (and it will) do it anyway.
Even when it ain’t fun (and it won’t be sometimes) do it anyway.
When others throw in the towel, you stay committed.
If you want to be like everybody else, do what they do.
If you want to be exceptional, do exceptional things.
Persevere.
Get the job done.

Okay, we’re done.
See how simple that was?
Even I understood it.

Enjoy your day, leave a comment and tell us where you’re from.

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