I always marvel at people who constantly invest their emotional energy into the Life’s Not Fair paradigm. Never really seems to be a great investment of time, energy or potential from where I stand. Doesn’t appear to change anything for the better. If anything, it seems to put people in a dis-empowered, unproductive and negative place. But strangely, many seem to delight in their misery and their complaining. Maybe they don’t actually want a solution but rather, attention. Just a thought.
Some people are perpetual victims of the horrible, nasty, unfair world around them. Listen to them and you’ll soon discover that everyone and everything in their world is trying to destroy their life; the government, their parents, their boss, the petrol companies, the tax man and of course, God. While they are clearly perfect, apparently they live in an imperfect world hellbent on their destruction.
So with this in mind, I thought I’d pen a brief letter to the victims of this big, mean, nasty-ass world we all inhabit in the hope of clearing up a few issues. You may want to pass this on to someone you know. Or not.
Dear complaining, high-maintenance, pain-in-the-ass Victims of the World,
Hi, Craig here.
Thought I’d just give you a quick heads up on a few things which could make your life easier. And probably ours too. I think a little clarification is in order on a few key issues. I’ll be brief and clear…
1. Life’s not fair or unfair. Life just IS.
2. ‘The world’ owes you nothing.
3. You don’t deserve success, you create it.
4. Selfishness… kinda ugly. Amazingly, it’s not all about you.
5. Complaining and bitching… kinda ugly too.
6. The person who’s making your life a misery… you.
7. People don’t like to hang out with victims – you may wanna get yourself a PlayStation.
8. lf you’re fat, you probably did it to yourself. Feel free to get mad at me for writing the truth. Clearly, I’m picking on you and being insensitive.
9. If you’re in massive debt, you may have something to do with that too.
10. Some people won’t like you. That’s okay.
11. Bad things happen to good people. Get over it.
12. Self pity… not cool.
13. Things only have the meaning YOU give them.
14. Consider that you might be part of the problem. And the solution.
15. We still love you. We just hate your behaviour.
Love and Hugs,
Craig.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig. Oh boy, do I know someone who I’d love to send this one to. Only problem with that is, she decided a year or so ago that all her friends (a very close knit group with ten years of fantastic friendship racked up) were the cause of her miserable existence and she dumped all of us, never to be heard of again ! Oh well… her loss !
{HUGS} Tina
Craig, another biggie to add to your list is, “You have choices.” When I was stuck in the victim role and yes, I was there for many years, the biggest reason was that I didn’t know that I had choices. I could choose to leave the abuse behind. I could choose to make my life better. I could choose to work on my own anger, fear, sadness—all feelings that I was sadly out of touch with. I could choose to have people in my life that didn’t abuse me. I could choose to be different. I could go on and on and on with choices—all of which as a victim I didn’t know that I could do.
I know this is a little deeper shit than just being fat because I eat too much. Sometimes those choices, those decisions don’t come easy and they are well worth the effort.
Thanks for stirring up the pot, again. You do a very good job of stirring. Have a glorious day.
Patricia
Hot Springs, AR, USA
Great post – #7 is my favourite: People don’t like to hang out with victims. So true. We all have our “problems” but it doesn’t mean we want to hear about them all the time (or most of the time for that matter). When faced with a problem, I like to talk about and brainstorm solutions, then act on them – it’s much more empowering.
I really like your post – I’ll be saving it!
Nothing I like better than your awesome, kick in the ‘ass’, confronting articles. No-one is untouched in life – we all have our personal crap to deal with. But to live life as a victim isn’t living, it’s surviving. I agree with Patricia, we have choices … maybe we’re just spoilt. Thanks Craig.
J9
I’m going to refer my friends, who are perpectual whiners, to your lovely list here!! Life sucks? It’s how we make them to be.
Is it ok if I print this out, stick it to a cricket bat, and “deliver” it to a few people with a decent backswing?
Marty
Go on Tina… send it!
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Hi Craig
Lovely work as usual – a group of us were speaking about one such person today!!
However something happened to me today as well and I usually decide things all work out for the best in the end – but I was starting to embrace to “poor me role” so thanks for the solid brick wall to that line of thinking before it got much further down the track!
H.
You’re right Patricia – we do have choices… and yes I am a proficient stirrer..
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Thanks Laurie ( )
I hope they enjoy it Evelyn!
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Great read again Craig. I really like your no bullshit approach.
HI Craigie – who annoyed you today!!!!
Thank you for your bloggie efforts….and all those other things you do for lots of us. I need to direct a friend to the Self-Limiting beliefs blog, she is not doing all that well.
Follow up: I did !!! Wouldn’t mind betting she won’t read it though.
{HUGS} Tina