More Walk, Less Talk (Shutting down the Jibber-Jabber)

Lip Service

For this lesson, I want to distinguish between two types of talking…

There’s the talking that happens via our mouth and there’s the talking that happens via our actions. The things we do. We could call one a verbal conversation and the other, a physical conversation. In terms of the kind of results we’re likely to produce in our world, one matters a little and one matters a lot.

I’ll let you figure out which is which.

Interestingly, most of us tend to pay more attention to the verbal kind of communication, despite the fact that we understand (and have experienced) that, in more cases than not, people’s actions – their behavioural talk – doesn’t always align (doesn’t often align?) with the stuff that’s coming out of their cake hole.

Technically speaking.

“If you really want to know someone, ignore most of what they say and pay attention to all of what they do.”

The Shit Detector

At the risk of sounded jaded or cynical (which I’m not… honest!), these days I take certain conversations with a grain of salt. Having endured years of pseudo-conversations (conversations where people are mostly concerned with telling a story, justifying a behaviour or creating some kind of a positive impression), I am the now the proud owner of a highly-tuned shit detector. From the moment some people open their mouths, it’s apparent that poo is about to flow.

And flow it does.

Lying. Blaming. Exaggerating. Procrastinating. Deflecting. Avoiding. Empty promises. Self pity. Self importance. Attention seeking. Approval seeking…. All such a waste of time, potential and energy; mine and theirs.

Now, consider the New Year’s Resolution. How timely. What an interesting and pointless ritual.

Q. How many people talk (verbally) about the things they are going to achieve, create and change in the year ahead?
A. The majority.

Q. How many actually turn those verbal intentions into practical, measurable, sustained real-world change?
A. A Very small minority.

After all, talk is just talk.

If you’re someone who has been circling success for years (whatever success means to you) and, like many others, talking, intending, planning and goal-setting your way to nowhere-in-particular (be honest), then maybe 2013 is your year to shut down the jibber jabber? Maybe it’s time to show and not tell?

Maybe it’s time for more walk and less talk?

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Matt January 2, 2013 at 5:57 pm

Craig, I have found that by telling lots of people that I was quitting alcohol for at least December and January and raising money for Cancer Research UK at the same time gave me a huge responsibility. I will not fail, I’m five weeks in now. No more jibber jabber here!! I would now like to push on another seven weeks till I ski!!!!! I didn’t think this was possible but it is!!!!

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Sulagna January 2, 2013 at 6:43 pm

“Talking, intending, planning and goal-setting your way to nowhere-in-particular … ” Lolz… a characteristic Craigism there…
More walk. Less talk.
Way to go 2013!

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chebbieanne January 2, 2013 at 7:15 pm

I have been having a similar yet different internal dialogue of late. Whilst I have achieved much success there has been considerable cost in areas that I had not considered at the outset. My dilema now revolves around the question – Is my continued success worth the cost and does that cost negate the success? Maybe I needed to consider the flow on effect of my success instead of jumping in and doing stuff?

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Anonymous January 3, 2013 at 12:15 am

Chebienne,
Great point! Interesting as I often think about this. There is always a cost of doing something and on the flip side there is also a cost of not doing something. Yep. I’m hearing ya xx

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Tara House January 2, 2013 at 10:51 pm

I really like what you write and I want you to know that it all really helps because the biggest thing for me (and probably others) is being honest with oneself. Last January I dabbled in changing my lifestyle with some success with eating less sugar and working out more. I told everyone that I was doing this to enlist them in MY accountability. It worked some, and I lost 10 pounds, but 6 months later it hit me that I needed to “be there” for myself, learn to be honest with ME and hold myself accountable. The difference is amazing. I have made a commitment to myself and only myself; the weight is melting away and I feel healthy, aware and strong.

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Nikki January 3, 2013 at 12:11 am

I guess your shit detector honed in and figured me out long before I figured it out myself, then. After reading your article all these important expressions of opinions I thought had value, actually probably don’t. I’m still hanging on to your words “it’s not what you start in 2013, it’s what you finish in 2013 that counts” That one sentence resonated with me because it’s true. It’s easy to start something but to follow it through to the end result is a different story!

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anna January 3, 2013 at 7:12 am

Loved this post! Definitely made me sit back and take a look at what i’ve been doing the past year.

Thanks for the kick up the proverbial!

:)

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Gayle January 3, 2013 at 7:20 am

Stopped jibber jabbering about a week ago and getting real finally. There is only so much verbalizing you can do before you feel like a complete ninny because you aren’t following up on what you say you are going to do.
I have found the only person you can commit to, to act on something, is yourself. Until you do, absolutely nothing is going to happen.
Thanks again for the straight talking.

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Anthony January 3, 2013 at 9:42 am

Another wake up call Craig.
I’m certainly guilty of shooting from the lip and not neccessarily following through. In saying that I’d like to think I’m not completely full of shit. I do actually follow through on most things.
Your comment ‘More walk, less talk’ is sound advice.
Cheers

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Dawn January 3, 2013 at 2:25 pm

Love this article and I have ignored my shit detector for too long.. I will be looking for actions not words in the future and also making sure my actions reflect what comes out of my mouth :)

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Rebecca January 6, 2013 at 6:48 pm

Haha Craig, you made me laugh

My partner and I refer to our cake-hole as the end that literally shits! i.e. “what are you doing tonight?”….”oh nothing just sitting on my cake-hole watching tv”

We refer to the one that speaks shit as a pie-hole

In this scenario people often DO align with what is coming out of their cake-hole, it is the pie-hole that causes the issues :)

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