Meet Captain Dumb-Ass

I’ve got a friend.
Surprising I know.
I call him ‘Captain Dumb-Ass’.
In a loving way.
Buddies can do that.

He has an incredible ability to not learn from his experiences and mistakes, despite the very obvious lessons his life is constantly smashing him over the head with. To everyone except him, the messages are deafeningly loud and clear, but no, he’s determined to keep doing the same dumb, unproductive (periodically destructive) things – with his career, his finances, his body and his numerous disastrous relationships. Have you ever met someone who’s smart and stupid at the same time – that’s him. Academically smart, practically stupid! If his life was a ‘theory’, it would be amazing and he would be a super-star, but out here in ‘reality’, things ain’t goin‘ so well!

Ever noticed how some people are constantly provided with great ‘life lessons’ (situations, circumstances, events, relationships, experiences), yet they never seem to learn? They constantly make the same mistakes, with the same undesirable outcomes, time after time. Often with the same people. If it wasn’t so sad, it would be funny. To everyone else, there is an obvious message and lesson to be learned, but for some reason, some of us seem to spend our life in an educational holding pattern; seemingly incapable of learning new things. To our own demise. We don’t really develop beyond a point.

From time to time, whilst immersed in some deep and meaningful dialogue with someone, I will wheel out one of my all-time favourite cheesy lines; “the world is my classroom, every day is a new lesson and every experience is an opportunity for me to learn.” And despite the absolute stench of it’s cheesy-ness and the predictable eye-rolling from my friends, I actually mean it – ’cause it’s kinda true.
Really true in fact.
Life does teach us the best lessons.
Pity so many of us don’t show up for class.

Even though I’m a teacher (of sorts) and coach, for the majority of my life I’ve been more of a student. And not really the academic type either. While classrooms were often boring for me as a kid, watching people and observing everyday, real-life ‘stuff,’ always fascinated me and taught me the most practical, relevant and helpful lessons. We live in the real world, so why not consciously and methodically learn out here too. It seems like some of us stopped learning, or thinking about learning, the day we stepped out of school.

Every day we are given countless opportunities to embrace valuable lessons, to grow, to adapt and to change ourselves for the better; to create a ‘new and improved’ version of us. Lessons which, if we pay attention and participate in the right way, will ultimately give us the skills, knowledge and experience to negotiate certain events, situations and circumstances much more effectively down the track.

That’s what real learning is about – experiencing or observing something, gaining a new understanding or insight, and then changing behaviour and thinking to create better outcomes. Simple enough. Real learning (from a personal-growth perspective) always results in some kind of observable positive change. Real learning is a life-long process. Don’t confuse sitting in a lecture, or reading a book, with learning. It can be, but often, it’s not. Sometimes sitting in a lecture is just sitting in a lecture, and reading a book is just reading a book.

How many people have been students in my cyber-classroom over the last year, yet learned nothing? I can’t answer that with any level of statistical certainty, but if learning equates to change, then my guess would be… plenty. That makes me sad. Don’t confuse being a personal development junkie with being an effective learner. If you’re not changing, you’re not learning.

Unfortunately, it seems that many of us don’t see the lessons because we’re looking at the world through our ‘problem-finding’ glasses. We have a gift for finding the negative (and letting the world know) rather that seeing, and benefiting from the lesson.

Q. What’s the difference between a lesson and a problem?
A. Interpretation. Individual response. Perspective. Attitude.

“Some people never learn because their life is full of problems, not lessons. They choose to be victims, not students.”

While too many people adopt the ‘why-does-this-always-happen-to-me’ mindset, the more enlightened are very much students of the ‘what-can-I-learn-from-this’ school of thought. Let’s say that two people go through the same experience, for one, it’s the beginning of the end (in his mind), and for the other, it’s an opportunity to develop some new understanding and skills, and to create positive change (in her mind). Same experience, different individual response. Different outcomes.

We spoke a while back (okay, I spoke, you read) about the notion of putting on our opportunity awareness glasses every day, with the lesson being that so many of us miss out on some great opportunities simply because we don’t really look, we’re not open to the possibility, and we have a propensity to focus on the bad, rather than to find (consciously and pro-actively look for) the good; to see opportunities and potential.

Well, it’s the same when it comes to life-long learning. If you consider yourself to be a student of life, a seeker, a person who’s all about personal growth and maximising your potential, then you must choose to learn, when others choose to complain and indulge in their own private pity-party. Pain, discomfort and adversity are your best teachers, so don’t avoid them. Too many of us are pleasure and comfort junkies – and the cost of that addiction is that we don’t grow. Really wanna learn? Get uncomfortable often. Embrace what most avoid.

So, if on some level you identify with my buddy Captain Dumb-Ass, you’ve got some work to do. Don’tcha?

Okay, go and get busy.

Love this article? Sign up for my FREE Email Newsletter today to receive more articles like this, and my FREE Ebook!

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.