If you’re a regular visitor here at me-dot-com then you would know that I’m not a fan of the traditional New Year’s Resolution. As a rule, they rarely lead to long-term change. Each year about four million Aussies (twenty percent of the population) start a diet on January 1, all with the same objective – to lose their (excess) weight and fat forever. Both scientific research and those things be
hind our eyelids will tell us that (1) most people will maintain their new behaviours for less than a fortnight (some, less than a day!) (2) very few people will lose the desired weight/fat (achieve what they set out to) and (3) even fewer will keep it off (less than two percent).
Mastering the Mind
Do these people actually have the potential to lose the weight and keep it off? The vast majority, yes. Will they? Probably not. Why not? A range of reasons, but the common denominator is that in some way their psychology will get in the way of (limit, handicap, sabotage) their physiology. They simply stop doing what they started. Great at starting, crap at persevering and ultimately getting the job done. Their mind is the problem and their body is the consequence. For many of us, the external is merely a reflection of the internal. This is the point of the lesson where you can be enlightened or offended; it’s a choice. For the majority, obesity is a symptom (physical consequence) of underlying emotional and psychological issues. Master the mind and you’ll master the body. In order to create different, we need to do different, yet far too many of us are creatures of habit and repetition. If we take the same mindset into the weight-loss process (the one that didn’t work the last fifty times), then we’ll produce the same result; failure.
Not Just Another Resolution
If you’re goal is to change your behaviour for a week or three, lose and regain some weight, get even more frustrated than you are now and to continue on with the stop-start cycle you’ve been on for years, then another traditional New Year’s Resolution is exactly what you need. However, if you would like your next weight-loss (health/fitness/lifestyle/diet) resolution to be your last, you might want to pay attention to (and implement) the following advice…..
1. Don’t try to change fifty things at once. The more things you try to change in a short time frame, the less likely you are to change anything over the long term. Life ain’t a hundred metre sprint and changing your life (body, thinking, habits, diet) ain’t a two week process. Pace yourself and don’t try to undo ten (twenty, thirty, forty) years of less-than-desirable habits, behaviours and results by next Tuesday.
2. Don’t make stupid resolutions. Blokes are champions of the ridiculous. Stop letting your big fat ego get in the way of your brain. Set goals which are logical, practical and maintainable. Not everything is a competition, not everything needs to be hard core to be effective and sometimes what you need to do (to create forever results) will not be what you want to do.
3. Create an accountability system. Once the excitement, the motivation and the initial momentum subside (and they will), what will keep you doing what you need to do, to create the change you want to see in your world? What will keep you committed and proactive while others are throwing in the towel? Why will it be different for you this time? Why will this be your last resolution (of this kind)? If you don’t know, you better find out fast.
4. Remember what you did last time? Don’t do that again!! Same produces same. Yes we are creatures of habit and repetition; we do what’s comfortable and familiar – even when it doesn’t work. Don’t do what’s comfortable, do what works.
5. Work in four week blocks. Here’s my practical tip for the day. In my experience (working with people to change outcomes in their world), the four week time frame is long enough to produce significant practical change but also short enough for us to stay focused, motivated and in the game emotionally. Of course we’re all about creating big picture results and long-term change but breaking the big process down into a series of twenty eight day game plans seems to work for most people.
6. Weigh up the cost. For some people, the ‘idea’ of change is far more appealing than the practical, physical process. That is, the theory is far easier than the reality. I’ve met many people who simply don’t want it enough (whatever it is). In fact, what often determines success or failure is the ‘want’ factor; a person’s level of drive, desire and commitment. Everything in life has a price (money, time, emotion, physical energy, pain, discomfort, risk), you need to decide if you’re willing to do what needs to be done (to pay the price), to achieve what you want to achieve. And as I’ve said too many times on this site, if you want to create exceptional outcomes, then you must be prepared to do exceptional things.
Okay, get busy.
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
Labas Craig and everybody,
I have simple advice, if you haven’t done serious planning before this resolution, please, forget about it. Doing New Year’s resolution is a silly thing if you have no planning/achieving experience. Don’t be naive you won’t successed. Read literature about planning and then do practise.
Craig,
Thanks for the reminder. My brain IS changing to be in line with the ideas in your book Fatitude. Finally. As I said last time I wrote you, no more excuses, no more reasons why I can’t do it, or being big boned or too busy or having a low metabolism. I can lose weight and be fit for life if I CHOOSE that. I AM changing. You have really helped me with a new mindset. No resolutions for me this year, just a continued journey on my way to life long health. Blood Pressure was 113/60 yesterday and I’m down 65 lbs (30 kilos) on my way to 150 (68 kilos) by next August. Have a great time at the beach. That’s the best place in the world to relax and get ready for a new year!
Steve in California
Hey Craig… I woke at 4am (my time) following a vivid dream that I missed my flight! Who knows where I was going. Melb seems the most likely option since I’m kinda thinking about it a lot these days! Or maybe it’s that pic you keep posting – of the bloke standing at the window with the plane taking off on other side of the glass? And hearing of your amazing conversations and dramas with planes (remember that bloke who didn’t want to turn off his mobile ph?! Dick head).
As you say in your RYL presentations: “When YOU are ready to change, you’ll change… it’s about a place YOU get to in your head when you’re just ready to do it.” I have never, ever been as certain as I am now that I have arrived at that ‘place’ in my head. I’m sick of mediocre… I’m sick of not finishing what I start… I’m sick of being a passive observer of life. I want to fully get amongst it all and create my best life.
I’m so happy Craig
And no, I haven’t lost my 19kg yet, or finish my ironman triathlon. Nor have I suddenly completed my 12 month internship to become a qualified paramedic in past two weeks. I still have ‘other’ issues too that I need to work on. But all that doesn’t matter because I am creating a new amazing attitude every day that will allow me to do, be and create (almost) anything.
Good Morning Craig,
Wow NY resolution time again! (how time flies!)
I could say that I am one of the few who made a resolution at the beginning of “08 to lose weight but the decision (for me) was made a little earlier. It just happened that I was unable to “officially start” with WW until after the new year. (I did take steps over the Xmas/NY period to give myself a “headstart” though)(oh and for the record, I did manage to lose 24kg over 2008 and will continue with that loss throughout 2009)
For this year, the only “resolution” I am going to make is to make 2009 a better year than 2008.I have a planner filled out and will add to that as things crop up.
Have an awesome day everyone
Hugs
Michelle xx
Thanks for dropping by Saulius..
( )
Steve!! WOW!
You de man! Great work Buddy. Congrats on what you’ve done this year and I look forward to more updates…
Enjoy your Christmas
Jules – having issues makes you normal. The person with zero issues doesn’t exist.
Sometimes being happy is not about ‘seeking or chasing’ happiness but about letting go of that which makes us unhappy.
Think about that.
( )
Hey Michelle – while 24 kilos is fantastic, the biggest change in you this year has been emotionally and mentally… when we change from the inside-out, the results usually stick – well done.
( )
Good morning..
Another light bulb just donked me on the head.
Thanks mate…
Happiness is about letting go of that which makes us unhappy!!
God, its all so simple.
Cheers…
and as always, a happy friday! ; )
( )
Happy to donk you on the head Friday.. ( )
All good advice .. and I, too, like the concept of "letting go of that which makes us unhappy".
In my journey of change, I've actually found that changing as much as possible right from the start works better for me (the opposite of your No. 1 point, Craig). I think for a number of reasons:
1. It doesn't get progressively harder – just one hit of hard and then it becomes "normal".
2. I'm less likely to let any part slip (eg. if I'm working my butt off at the gym, I'm not inspired to negate that by eating crap).
3. I get faster results, which in turn helps the motivation last longer.
At present I've hit a plateau (7kgs away from an ambitious goal weight) and am a bit frustrated about it. While I am at no risk of throwing in the towel, I don't think I can physically do any more exercise and if anything, I'm probably not quite eating enough. But if anyone has any advice to get through the plateau other than just to keep on keeping on, I'd love to hear it!
Cheers,
Sue
PS. Steve & Michelle – you guys have had major physical achievements in '08. Well done! You're an inspiration to us all. And congrats on the qualification, Jules .. sounds like a new, exciting life is just around the corner.
“Happiness is about letting go of that which makes us unhappy”
“Happiness is about letting go of that which makes us unhappy”
Like Friday, that is a light bulb moment for me too, so there you go, two light bulbs have gone off and its not even lunch.
I am writing this one down to look at every day, so silly really as one would think it should be quiet OBVIOUS.
Thank you ( )
, thought it was some kind of computer jargon – took a little bit of investigation to work it out, hope it gives you a laugh)
(theres a hug for you, when I left my first comment on this site I had no idea what these funny symbols meant ()
Ginny
Hi Sue J
Whatever works for you… do THAT!
( )
Hi Ginny
You’re welcome and I’m glad you’ve learned that this ( ) is a hug… not some weird, secret cyber code.
( )
… although I guess it is a weird, secret, cyber code to people who don’t visit this site!
Hmmm.
Craig… glad YOU think I’m normal(ish)!
That was a pure gem, Craig. Your line about letting go of what makes you unhappy. Fantastic! Have given it some thought too. Being F-A-T has made me unhappy; my lack of confidence; my stinky attitude; stinky beliefs about myself; and procrastinating/not finishing what I start.
I just realised something AMAZING. I can do something about all of those things, can’t I? That was a key light bulb moment in my world. Thanks for that insight, Craig.
Jules
PS. Umm yeah, so maybe I have gotten over the cyber-shyness thing. But you aren’t squirming your way out of Project Jules that easy!
Sue J
How many hrs/wk of exercise are you doing now?
Why don’t you just “DO DIFFERENT”?
Give your body a fright – give your body a reason to adapt and change.
Do a boxing class or go for a run or swim?
Go for a 2 hr walk or bike ride on the weekend.
Up the anti with your weights (assuming you already are doing strength training). Increase the weight you use decrease reps? Do new exercises instead of the same old squats, lunges, bicep curls etc. Have a PT session or 3 at Harper’s even?! [Are you in Melb?]
Have you tried doing 40 mins cardio before b/fast a few times a week?
There’s just some of my random ideas. I’m no Ex. Scientist – considerng it as a likely second career though… she says before starting her first one!
Just reading the Chapter on ‘exercise mistakes’ in Fattitude at the moment! Craig can jump in and correct me if any of that is not recommended.
Enjoy
Hi Craig,
What a happy day!
I have:
* Booked into RYL 2009 (thanks, Johnny!)
* Finished the school year! Yay!
* Only five more days until I’m allowed to exercise again!
* Received some fantastic advice about how not to fall into my usual habit of New Years resolutions – thank you!
I’ve lost almost a kilo in the last week (not much, but that’s nearly 1/9 of my goal loss) and I’m starting to believe that if I resist going on a stupid Jan 1 diet and instead keep writing in my Harper’s Diary, I might just be able to do this. Get that piggyback ready Mr Harper!
Enjoy your weekend.
EG xx
Jules,
Ahh, I feel an Ex. Scientist in the making! Thanks for all that .. I feel that I’m doing most of it.
I do 3 x 30m PT sessions a week (one olympic-style weight lifting, one polymetrics (sp?), and one general weights circuit). I do 2 full body weight training sessions a week (take about 1.5hrs each) a-la-Body for Life style in terms of reps, etc .. and I increase weight EVERY time I do it). I do interval training on the cross-trainer 3x per week (12sec flat out, 8sec slow for a total of 9 minutes, with a couple of slow mins in between). I also do 20min or 28min interval training on my Stairmaster at home about 3-4 times a week (again, a-la-Body for Life style). Finally, I’m doing a 1.5hr karate class a week, although this finishes on Sunday until Jan 6, when I’ll start doing 2-3 classes a week. Aside from one PT/cardio/weights session and the karate, all exercise is done before breakfast.
In terms of weight that I’m pushing myself to do, I’m up to 22kg+bar in the olympic weight lifting and 230kgs on the horizontal leg press.
I think I may have already frightened the bejesus out of my body! Hopefully it’s just a very short-term plateau and things will kick in again shortly.
No, I’m not in Melbourne .. I’m in Sydney. I like your idea about doing different though. I’ll look to keep changing it up. Thanks again .. really appreciate your thoughts!
Sue
Jules,
Thanks for your thoughts. I wrote a whole novel on what I’m doing but it doesn’t look like it’s going to post on here .. and rightly so, in hindsight! Not everyone wants to read my crap. (Note to self: it’s not all about you!)
My email is smjolliffe@iinet.net.au. Send me an email if you like and I’ll fill you in there!
Cheers,
Sue
Hi Craig,
Wow. This is my second comment today – you can tell I’ve now been on holidays for about five hours.
I’ve only just had a chance to look at the promo video. Hmmmm. I must say I agree with most of the other contributors. The music has to go. Really. It’s kind of, well, bogany. Sorry. I’m not suggesting Enya but perhaps something a little less dominating? A little less Guns’n'Roses 1987? And as for the voiceover guy …
All the rest (the bits which are purely Craig Harper, strangely) is great. Your message and style are captivating enough without the bells and whistles.
So there’s my two sense worth. Just don’t get a big head or we might have to call Marj.
EG xx
Hi Craig,
I love the way your brain works/thinks and I get alot of help from you, I am usually an overthinker and that can be a problem in itself but you help me see things in a easier and lighter way which helps with making change.
I totally agree that you need to change your mind(inner) and you then can and will change the body(outer).
For years I repeated my behaviour, a good few months in regard to diet, fitness, attitude and outlook and then along came the bad few months, all the good would be gone and the bad old habits returned, they would sneak up on you slowly and then what seemed all of a sudden I would be back with my old habits that I had tried so hard to kick. It has only been recently that I have not tackled the outside part of me but instead worked on my brain, my thoughts, my internal dialogue, my negative triggers and my past which is what stopped me from moving forward and stopped me from being the best person and having the best life I can have. Working on the internal has made alot of things fall into place for me and has helped me to begin my journey to be the person I am meant to be. I feel very excited about the next year and have joined your commitment wall and look forward to an outstanding 2009.
So Craig I thank you very much and look forward to many more valuable lessons.
()
Jenny F
Hey Sue
I was just thinking the same thing! Have to remind self this is meant to be CRAIG’s blog not yours and mine! We kinda took over hey. (Sorry, Craig). Was going to ask how I could contact you too – you read my mind. Jules !
Hi Craig,
Argghhhh! I just realised in my last comment that I wrote ‘sense’ instead of ‘cents’. Oh, no! Two university degrees (one in English Literature – go figure) and I make a mistake like that! Apologies to all your readers who may have been offended by it! Would you believe that it was an intentional clever pun? I didn’t think so.
Sorry, again. I’ve always admired your grammar and punctuation (I bet that’s not a line you hear very often) so I’m deeply embarrassed.
I hope you can get over it and move on.
EG
Good morning All.,
Wow, Sue and Jules, this is fun!!!
I am sure Craig doesn’t mind us taking over….he publishes them lol.
Craig, thanks for those lovely words in reply to my first comment!I am proud of all I have achieved this year!
I love reading everyones comments on here everyday and I want to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and hope to see all of you again in the new year.
Oh by the way Craig….great to hear you and Jane on the radio this morning…added bonus Jules and I didn’t expect! YAY!
Hugs
Michelle xxx
Ha ha .. thanks, Michelle! I’m happy to take over anytime you like – wallflower has never quite been my style
EG – 3 posts so far .. impressive! Didn’t even notice the spelling error. (I can point you to one in Craig’s Friday post, if it would make you feel better … but shhh .. don’t tell him!)
Thanks Sue, that does make me feel better. Please Jules, Michelle and Sue don’t take your discussions offline – I really enjoy reading them. Maybe you could ask Johnny to make your own chat forum thingy?
Hope to meet you all at RYL 2009.
EG ()
Ohhh Mr Harper, its wonderful to see you are still here dispensing your wonderful words of wisdom.
Its nice to be back on the net and find some things are still the same.
Hugs
Lisa Jane
Hey there,
If you are really interested in the prospect of investing in others – KIVA is fab! KIVA is an organisation that lends money to people in Sudan etc each person has a business plan and they have a time frame in which to repay. You can donate from $25 and can choose the person. When the money is re-payed you can invest in someone else so the wheel keeps turning. Did this with the kids in my class and we have invested in 4 people so far – I love it! The other great part is that you can email and be in communication with the person you have invested in so it allows a real human element to the process, it is not just about giving money it is about building lives!
All the best M
EG,
Don’t worry .. I don’t think any of us intend to take our discussions anywhere. So long as Craig keeps publishing them, we will keep writing them! Although I’m not sure anyone should give us our own forum thingie .. like cheap bubbly, I’m sure the self-importance delusion would go straight to my head!
And if you’re going to RYL, then we will definitely meet .. I believe we’re all enrolled and paid up! Quite looking forward to putting faces to names of the wonderful people who post on here.
Cheers,
Sue