Getting Out of My Own Way

Overcoming… Me.

It took me a long time to (truly) realise that my biggest challenge in life was me. Specifically: my thinking, my attitudes, my fear, my self-doubt, my self-limiting beliefs, my behaviours, my stupid (fear-based) decisions, my reactions, my inconsistency, my unwillingness to commit, my destructive habits, my inner dialogue, my excuse-making, my need-to-please, my propensity to over-analyse, my ego and low self-esteem. Just to name a few (phew).

Apart from all that, I was awesome.

The Problem and the Solution

It’s like one day it dawned on me that if I could learn to manage me (specifically, my internal reality), I could manage pretty much anything. I realised that success or failure wasn’t so much about the situation, circumstances, environment, challenge or relationship I found myself in, it was about me in it. I was the problem. And the solution. If I could learn to get out of my own way, I could do, be and create (almost) anything.

This truth and awareness started to dawn on me in my early twenties – a few years into my self-discovery journey. In many ways, the last two decades have been an ongoing development and exploration of that initial insight and realisation. I’m still learning to manage me (I can be handful!) and I’m still discovering the best way to manage my physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, creative and philosophical selves. Yep, I’m a multi-dimensional creature. Just like you. I’m both complex and simple.

But mostly simple.

What to Do?

So, if (like me) you’ve been known to shoot yourself in the foot from time to time (or maybe all the time) here are twenty-two no-brainers to help you overcome the cycle of self-sabotage. Some of you might want to put this list in a prominent place where you’ll see it often – like (stapled to) your forehead. Some of these will be revision for a percentage of you – depending on how long you’ve been part of the me-dot-com gang.

1. Stop being a people-pleaser.
2. Stop waiting for the right time.
3. Choose your attitude.
4. Stop relying on (or waiting for) motivation.
5. Get uncomfortable (Princess).
6. Stop being so safe.
7. Be prepared to fail.
8. Find the lesson.
9. Ask better questions.
10. Stop looking for approval, permission, protection and praise.
11. Learn your own truth.
12. Be solution-focused, not problem-obsessed.
13. React better.
14. Don’t sulk - seek.
15. Control what you can, let go of what you can’t.
16. Invest your emotional energy wisely.
17. Stop waiting for people to care.
18. Don’t wait for opportunities – create them.
19. Talk less. Listen more.
20. Don’t do what’s easy. Do what works.
21. Stop giving away your power.
22. Identify your core values. Live in alignment with them.

It just occurred to me that, in many ways, the above suggestions are a point-form summary of my overall personal-development philosophy. Nice.

Feel free to add to my list.

Note: Our winners of free stuff from last week are Kellie, Ester and Symone. Well done guys. Can you please send your postal details to Johnnie (via email) and we will send you a little sumthin’ for being ace.