Despite the ever-increasing mountain of get-your-life-in-order resources available to us, some of us still seem to find ourselves on the slippery slope of transformational frustration far too often. If you feel like you’re taking two steps forward and three steps back, here are five self-help no-brainers for you:
1. Bite Size Pieces. The old ”take a huge bite and chew like crazy” philosophy is good in theory. In reality, it usually means we wind up doing a lot of things badly and nothing particularly well. And we’re likely to get exhausted, discouraged and distracted in the process. Invest your time, energy, skills, talent and passion where you’ll get the best return. Sometimes, the more we do, the less we achieve. Busy doesn’t always equal productive or successful. Best we commit to doing a few things with excellence rather than fifty things poorly. Trust me, I’ve tried both methods! 
2. Work in Four-Week Blocks. Sure it’s about creating life-long change but sometimes we need to work in instalments. My experience working with many people on their transformational journey is that goal-setting, planning, working and focusing for four weeks at a time, works. It’s short enough to stay mentally and emotionally focused (and to not get bored), and long enough to see some measurable change (which in turn re-motivates us!).
3. Be an Early Bird. Get stuff done early! People who are productive early in the day: (1) are more likely to succeed over the long term (2) put themselves in a more positive and creative state for the rest of the day (3) are more fun to be around (4) are usually happier and more satisfied. Procrastination ain’t where it’s at Jack.
4. Stop looking for a Cosmic Sign, Permission or Perfect Timing. The moment you choose your best attitude and face your fears is the moment the (real) transformation begins. Some people will die waiting for the right feeling, the right situation, the right opportunity and the right time. Personally, I’d rather choose and create my own destiny than wait for the planets to align.
5. Talk less, do more. Let’s be honest: talk is just talk. It’s not action. It’s not change. It’s not results. Some people have been talking too much for too long. Shhhh!
Of course I have another thousand or so tips for you, but I thought we’d keep it simple and brief today. I haven’t given away any prizes for a while, so I’m inviting you to add a tip (or five) to my list. I’ll send some cool stuff (anywhere in the world) for the commentors who float my boat with their wisdom and insight! Enjoy your day. 
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6. Have fun, don’t take it all so seriously
6. Accept that you will make a mistake, may stumble and maybe even fall flat on your face. It’s only a disaster if you don’t get back up again.
Hi Craig,
Wow, seeing the lovely photo of chocolate I am ever so glad I purchased some raw cacao with macadamia nuts at the Longevity Conference yesterday. I just may have a nibble or two while I’m sending this off into cyberspace.
I hear you on the don’t wait until everything lines up a certain way. While I’ve done that in the past, I began to realize that there is no perfect time or situation. As you say, we create it!
My style is working more at night. Just fits right for me. I love the quiet and beauty of night time and for some reason my brain works best too. Oops, though, I’m looking at this last report and my eyes are beginning to droop!
Tips: hmm…don’t do your to-do list 50 times (believe it or not that in itself becomes rather time-consuming and a waste. Try DOING what is on the list!
If you work at home, set aside specific times to work and ensure that you won’t be interrupted. If not, you might find yourself losing entire days!
Have fun and be flexible. This helps to maintain a balance. Sometimes it is refreshing to put your work aside for awhile and relax and enjoy something else – perhaps unexpected. You can then return to your work with a renewal of passion.
Rigidity is not good! This is why fun and flexibility can pay off in huge dividends. Don’t put your nose to the grind without breaks. Turn i-tunes on your computer and get up and dance – and sing – now and then in the middle of your work day. Come on, you can do it!
Go downtown and look at that Guy under the blanket begging for money. Ask yourself if that’s where you want to be. If the answer is yes then you’re welcome.
Realise that excuses are just that . Everybody has the same amount of time in their day and a variance of obstacles in their lives, (things to do, work to go to, kids to bring up, elderly parents to look after, deadlines, appointments or whatever else competes for our attention). We need to stop looking for excuses not to change and realise that there are ways and means to get around these obstacles, it is fundamentally an issue of priorities.
Kate
Take responsibility for your own actions (or inactions as the case may be). Stop blaming everyone and everything else as the reason you are not changing your life. YOU are the only reason you are not changing your life.
Kate
Cool Your Jets – slow down and control your excitment, it’s not that big a deal – add laughter into each day.
OMG Kate has spoken!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can I pick up Craig on one point. You seem to be the first person who has admitted there is sometimes no right time. We are told over and over to wait for love they will come. Pffft. I’m not saying we go out and stalk all and sundry, but if we sit back, and I would apply this to career as well, sure enough it don’t come.
Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in Law of Attraction and psychics and self help like we discussed in the last post, but often we are told to sit back and let IT come. Errrr, you go back to the guru and say well I waited to be told “well another 100 dollars and I will tell you what to do”. Thank the lord for your common sense on that point Craig because I hear a lot of people saying “oh I’m sure he will get a job” or “ohh your love will come”, but sure enough it don’t happen because we don’t put some activity into it.
Nice post Craig,
I like the whole Back to Basics thing. It’s exactly what I needed to read right now. I’ve kinda been doing the two-steps-forward-three-steps-back thing for a little bit. It’s time to stop it now!
I’m loving the advice … perfect. I shall apply it immediately (my stars said the full moon is conducive to change!!!).
Thanks Craigo!
Em
( ) x
Make change as fun as it can be. Instead of saying to self you need to lose weight, why not set a goal to do an ironman triathlon? Only kidding, unless of course you want to! I’m aware that everyone is not as dysfunctional/crazy/looney as I am! [Mr Tony Abbott - well done on Sunday by the way. "You are an ironman"] A sprint triathlon or an ironman – it doesn’t matter. A 5 km walk or a marathon. Who cares! If you are committed to CHANGE for the RIGHT REASONS you will create your best life.
Find forums (such as this) to share your goals and progress towards your new-and-improved self.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. It does your head in pretty quick. Trust me – I know!
Join clubs/groups so you can meet with like-minded people in the flesh (always better than cyberspace. Craig – you’re more fun to be around in the flesh than on here!).
And yeah – like Craig has said STOP TALKING/THINKING/WRITING about what you’re gonna do and bloody well do it! Says she who ‘waited’ 9 yrs before doing her first ironman. And to be honest, I could have easily procrastinated another year or three. Don’t listen to people who pull you down. “Can you run a marathon?” F*#! off – you dont have to run a marathon in 4 hrs to do a marathon or an ironman. Take your sweet time and you’ll still be crowned a marathon finisher or an ironman. We all have our own motivations for what we do. If you wanna win your age group and qualify for Kona [the Ironman World Championships in Hawaii], then fine, that’s fantastic. But that isn’t on my radar right now – and may never be. But what’s wrong with that?
Find a way of celebrating your achievements however small or big. You’re sure as hell are not going to lose 50 kg in 4 weeks. So, celebrate each 5kg instead.
Don’t allow yourself to get bored of the change process. Or recognise when you are getting bored and do something about it pronto.
PS. This is a note to the baldman (aka Johnny). I’m gonna shoot for a 5hr 2010 Gold Coast Marathon – July 4. I’ve already done a 56 min marathon PB.
2007 Gold Coast Marathon 7:04.
2010 Ironman NZ marathon was 6:10*
* Given that I’d swum 3.8km and done 180k on the bike before my 6:10 marathon, I think a 5:00 Gold Coast marathon is realistic?
6. develop a mantra to help you focus on your goals during times of wavering motivation or doubt about your ability to commit to your plan
e.g. i have issues with food cravings so I choose to visualize the urge to eat or the craving as a wave that will peak and then crest – i know if I can get through the peaking of the wave til it crests without caving I will be fine, So I repeat to myself “ride the wave, just ride the wave” and engage in some distraction task until the craving subsides.
I have found your website full of extremely useful information and personal challenges. From the ‘ah huh!’ moments I have had reading your site recently I have come up with a personal statement that I am finding very powerful for assisting my change process – “I don’t need luck, motivation, or will-power. I need acceptance (that I alone put myself in this position), commitment (to the actions needed to facilitate change), and planning (to ensure that I have all the tools necessary to achieve my goals)”.
I can’t wait to send you my success story ;o)
6. Get an accountability partner, whether its a trainer, friend or coach. Tell people your goals so you stick to them
7. Track your progress. Scales aren’t always the right way to go, especially if you are doing resistance training (which you should). Get the tape measure or get your body fat measured.
. Do resistance training and build some muscle to increase your resting metabolic rate, that way you will burn calories even while your sleeping.
9. Try to find aerobic exercise that you enjoy, whether its boxing, aerobics classes whatever, keep moving!
10. if you have a bad day get back on track, that day not tomorrow or on Monday
11. Take responsibility of your current physical condition
12. Stop looking for the new weight loss program and just start! The weight loss industry is the highest growing market in the world… and has the highest failure rate
13. Be consistent with exercise and nutrition. if your good during the week the sabotage your efforts on the weekend you won’t get anywhere
14. Be patient, the weight didn’t come on over night, so it won’t come off over night
15. Be positive and love yourself =)
Ok i went a little overboard =D
Haven’t read your blog for awhile, and though I now know that I should not look for cosmic signs, I was glad to see that this advice is just what I need.
My tip? Go outside at least once a day. Listen. Look. Smell. Touch. Taste? (Maybe you have a cup of tea with you or maybe there’s a raindrop or a snowflake or two…)
Now I just need to keep doing these basics. Thanks!
6. Learn how to meditate.
After browsing several articles on your site. I would say get outside of your comfort zone and explore your potential.
Michelle
Nice work Craig! Like this post!
6): Stop fearing failure or ‘falling off the wagon’. By that I mean if you spend unplanned money on ‘something you could do with’ but wasn’t budgeted/planned for OR eat a nice meal, a few drinks and moderate portion of a yummy dessert at a dinner party…………….then get a HUGE mental urge for a big icecream and choc bar on way home and give in……………………….DON’T give up and go on either a big credit card spending spree or huge binge feast that lasts for a few months. Allow yourself to feel annoyed with little deviations or un-necessary lapses but don’t beat self up and learn to get used to and comfortable with the idea of getting straight back on track/living in line with your goals no longer than a day after an unplanned slip.
Don’t expect life to be perfect, be prepared for if a slip occurs. Initially aim for 3 steps forward, one back, 4 forward, 1 back etc instead of an 8 steps forward, 25 back type pattern.
Ideally learn something from the slips and ideally over time they will become few and far between. But cut yourself some slack at times as well. If a severe tragedy suddenly strikes forgive yourself if an initial reaction is an icecream sundae, – just as long as it’s not often………..and we are back in control no longer than the next day.
I know when in a mindset…………..staying on track is easy, as is almost being perfect with choices. But different moods/mindsets come and go in this life and if we slightly disappoint ourselves, – we’ve gotta learn to refrain from going a heap of steps back. It may feel tough at the time to get straight back on track after a bit of a slip but the urge will pass, and we will be glad we good back on track
[...] Back to Basics: Change 101 [...]
In addition to these fine tips. My tip is ‘Find out what you want to do in life and set clearly defined goals’.
Very, very, very nice suggestions. I would add: Risk Being Embarrassed. Not in a weird way, but do something that may make you look stupid. Tara (Toronto, Canada)
Hi Craig, great list. 6. Do something spontaneous. Every week I do spontaneous things with my kids.
[...] Back to Basics: Change 101 [...]
WoW
thanks … a great list . There is nothing more satisfying than giving, so be generous to someone everyday.
Elliot
Excellent article! Unbelievably timely. Make an effort to rid yourself of negative people. Julie.
Offer a sincere compliment to a stranger today and every day. If you’re thinking about how much you like someone’s hair, skirt, voice, etc, why keep it to yourself. Let that person know and make their day or maybe even their month. AND, you’ll feel great too
6. Surround yourself with positive people… and accept the fact that there are things and people you cannot change. You need to let them go because they are drainers.
At the end of the day, you can’t like or be liked by everyone. So focus on what’s important to you and follow that line.
Have a good day,
Jc
From Qc, Canada
Add as much variety as you can to your exercise schedule. Nothing gets more boring and wretched than doing the same old, same old every day. (Example: We drove an hour to walk a very nice bird santuary park one recent weekend. It was a very enjoyable 2 hour hike and a refreshing change from the routine). The same goes for your diet. Search the web, cookbooks, ask friends, etc. for new ideas on healthy meals to eat.
In the words of a famous brand that has the damndest catchphrase: Just do it. Don’t think, don’t mull, don’t consider, relate, contemplate, plan, analyze or imagine. Just. Do. It. Set out and do what you want to get done, or at least do what will help get you there. No excuses, no distractions…get it done. It may not be fun at times and it probably won’t always be entirely painless, but is it worth it? Most certainly yes. (If not then you’re either doing it wrong or you need to restate some goals.
)
Enjoy! life is short and this is not a dress rehearsal! Smile (if nothing else it will make people wonder what you are up too!)
Find what resonates with you, discover yourself and your potential for greatness by concentrating more on your personal strengths, that which you’re a natural at doing (there are a bunch of articles out there on how to discover/identify ones strengths). People often put up a huge amount of time and money in striving for mediocrity in areas of their life that they think they should as a direct result of society’s flock effect. “If you do and learn this, then you’ll achieve and reach that…” — maybe. There’s a great saying: “You can’t be anything you want to be, if you work hard enough, but you can be more of what you already are”.
Trust your instinct or gut.
Phew. Lots to think about here so far!
The last week or so Ive been reading up on how to study more effectively (I havent yet decided if its ironic that Im studying up on how to study!! WIll let you know when I get there!).
Its a huge step to add an Adv. DIp course onto an already hectic life of fulltime work, young kids, sports, and family/friends, BUT if I want to be where I see myself in 5 years time, it just has to be done!
So my rule is…..
No sooky la-la’s allowed!
Toughen the F up and just do what needs to be done.
It all comes back to my favourite word – Choice.
It may be hard sometimes, but each right choice leads you a bit further up the path to success.
Everytime I choose healthy over not-so-good food leads to an improved body and mind.
Everytime I decide to read another chapter in my textbooks or focus on 1hr of work for an assignment instead of watching crap on TV, or facebooking is a step towards completing my Adv DIp.
Make the best choice each time, and in no time at all it second nature, and you are nearly there!!
1-Stop pretending that you are helpless… because you are not!
My number one tip (seldom practiced) is not to overthink it! If your alarm has gone off and you’re laying in bed having an internal dialogue with yourself about the pros and cons of getting out of bed – STOP IT! Like that sweatshop loving brand says: Just Do It.
Believe you can do it. If you think you will fail you most likely will. If that means making the first change just drinking more water or eating an extra piece of fruit just make that small change. Celebrate your success and build on it.
Once, when I was moaning to a personal trainer about how I was sick of doing this (dieting) ‘all the time’, she said to me “but you don’t have to do this all the time. In 12 months time, you could be at goal. And in that 12 months you will form habits that will not seem like you’re doing anything different to anyone else who is at a healthy weight”.
So I thought about that and I realised how quickly 12 months goes past. How often do we say ‘I can’t believe it’s Christmas already’. I made the decision that I would commit to this (for the last time) and get the job done. And once I’d done that I knew I could do it.
And so, 5 months and 17 kilos later I’m a long way from goal but I’m getting there.
So, my tips would be twofold.
1. Make, whatever it is you need to do to reach your goal, non-negotiable.
2. Believe you can do it. Don’t ever entertain self doubt.
It’s all about consistency, doing even one small thing per day towards your goal. Consistency is the key to your success!
BELIEVE you can change!!!!
WANT to change (not because the doctor said you should, or you think it would be nice to look better).
Photos of yourself in the nuddie or bra and undies – bra optional for the men
can also be a reality check. If you don’t like what you see, then use that photo to keep you focused and take the same photo every four weeks.
Kellie, we look forward to seeing your success photo / story.
Craig, I loved the post not so long ago of Mel’s (I think that was her name) success. Her story helped me get over some negative thinking I was having. I know there are a lot of magazine’s out there with success stories, but it would be great to see more of them from you dot com readers. How about putting a seperate tab up on your site to celebrate these achievements?
JUST DO IT!
Its pretty simple…
You either do it or you dont!
To mentally pry myself out of those times when I get in “excuses mode” – I simply rephrase (and pre-face) all conversations with myself with the word “HOW….?”….as in…
I am never going to get through this run….becomes:
Q: HOW am I going to make it through that last 2kms?
A: Pace myself so that I have fuel in the tank and can finish strong
I really need more sleep/can’t be bothered getting up for gym in the morning….becomes:
Q. HOW am I going to make it easier for me to get up for gym in the morning
A. Prepare my gym bag the night before so need less time to prep in the morning
It’s Easter, I have no willpower over the chocolate…becomes:
Q. HOW am I going to make sure I eat heathily this week?
A. By preparing meals in advance and bringing my lunch into work every single day
HOW HOW HOW?? By simple rephrasing an excuse into a “how question” makes me jump into strategy mode instead of “victim mode” and look for ways to achieve rather than give in.
Cheers
Symone
“If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.”
Dalai Lama quotes
[...] Back to Basics: Change 101 [...]
I love this quote:
One year from now you will wish you had started today.
You are always a messenger for someone. Your talent and inspiration are meant to be delivered and shared. When you leave projects sitting half cooked, you are depriving someone of their Light.
Today, revive a project you’ve left sitting on the shelf. You never know whose life you can improve, or save, when you complete it.
Keeping an eye the bigger picture works for me. You can get caught up in the right now. For example “why am I working so hard for no immediate result”, “I feel so crap running today”, but then the next day everything just turns around and you feel a million bucks!! You then realise why you persist when you cant quite see the light at the end of the tunnel or why you keep going when it gets tough. Big picture.
Cheers
What can I add to today’s post!!
- Keep a diary, write in important dates, a to do list, plan your week on Sunday eg. Thursday going to dinner, appointment with hairdresser Saturday, gym thursday (you know what I mean)! (Buy Craig’s Training Diary – bought one and just sent to my son for Easter pressie)
- Show gratitute, carry a small stone in your pocket so it reminds you to appreciate life it is what it is – pat the rock, pat the rock!!
- Have fun laugh, enjoy YOLO (just for Michael)
Ange
Wow, what an amazing list of tips from everyone. Am challenging myself to come up with one that hasn’t already been mentioned …
Am grabbing a few of the above and running with them.
~ list of goals to focus on for the next four weeks – done!
~ list of tools/visual aids that could keep the motivation flowing – done!
~ email sent to 5 people that are happy to be accountability partners
This first 4 week block is as much about proving to myself that I CAN be organised as it is about achieving and keeping the motivation going.
Enough talk. Time to get on with the business of doing.
Hi Craig,
Here are some points I thought are important:
6. Stop worrying about what other people think. You need to focus on how you feel about yourself and don’t let other people make you feel inadequate. You can do it.
7. Stop making excuses. The day you make an excuse, is the day you give up.
8. Always write down your goals for the week and write down when you are going to exercise, so you stick to it.
Erin
Reward yourself to keep up the motivation. Make the rewards relevant to the goal at hand.
6. Dont stress about what could happen.
It may not happen at all and you’ve stressed yourself out for no reason at all.
If it does happen then all the stressing in the world wont chage it.
And an oldie but a goodie….
7. If you aren’t prepared to be part of the solution, you forfit your right to complain.
My biggest hurdle I learnt is:
Just Get Over It!!
You cant change the past but you can use it to change your future. If you ate something you shouldnt have, get over it. Make up for it by eating something better! If you didnt do your work out, get over it. Make up for it by working super hard at your next one. Dont dwell on the past and give up because you have had a minor set back. Get over it, get back on track and use it to influence your future!
This isn’t an event, it’s a process.
Don’t wait for motivation to hit, fake it ’till you make it and if you don’t feel motivated now, know that you will once you’ve started DOING to reach your goals.
I really like the 4-week focus and I’ve used that for over a year. It has helped me a lot to focus on one or two habits to change or add each month and feel the forward momentum build as I change for the better.
Thanks for a great blog!
DOCUMENT IT! Write it down and personalise it. You only have to come up with a great idea once, a tip to yourself to improve the way you do something, a motivational message that speaks to you, a reminder of how you want to improve something in your life, and once you’ve written it down in your hand writing, every time you read it, you own it and its right there in your head space again, and again, and again.
Some people write journals, but looking at a blank page can be daunting, so I started with a Craig Harper Food, Exercise and Lifestyle Diary and my goal to exercise more and eat healthier. On every page, in advance, I wrote an empowering message to myself: ” Knowledge is not power – it is potential power” , “Nothing tastes as good as being fit and healthy feels”, “I recognise my body as a good friend, and feed, nourish and care for it as such”, And so it goes. Then every day I record everything I put into my body, supplements, food and beverages, together with my exercise regime. When I’m about to eat something that I shouldn’t (meaning copious amounts of chocolate), I always stop and think “do I really want to see that written down, or have to work that off”? Some days are better than others, in fact looking through my diary now i see a page with two big crosses through it and a big “Lets pretend today didn’t happen”, but I find having things written down is like a back up, a reminder, of the good and the bad and how you felt on those days (and how you’d rather feel), and its exciting to see all those little individual days equal one big growing achievement!
Great article! I just learned something new from simpleology.com that helps me. The law of straight lines. The fastest path between two points is a straight line. Too often when we’re working towards our goals, we invent and create all these extra, unnecessary steps. Maybe achieving our goals doesn’t have to as hard as we make it to be.