Yesterday I was asked how I stay ‘up’ all the time; what my ’secret’ to staying focused, motivated, positive and productive is. As I began to launch into some mind-numbing monologue of an answer, I stopped myself mid sentence. I told her (hello Grace) that I would answer her question in a brief (no really, I can do it) post today. So here it is; the pr’ecis version of how I personally stay ‘up’ most of the time.
1. I hang out with like-minded people who energize me and I avoid the energy vampires.
2. I learn from, and get inspired by, successful people.
3. I ask myself the right kind of questions – the “what can I learn from this experience” questions, rather than the “why does this happen to me” questions.
4. I regularly get excited about possibilities – sometimes too excited!
5. I don’t focus on negatives – I invest my emotional energy where it will give me the best return.
6. I change the stuff I can and I let go of the stuff I have no control over.
7. I am constantly setting goals. Big and small.
8. I dedicate time every day to ’switching off’ and having fun for fun’s sake. Strategic silliness.
9. I express myself creatively. It makes me happy.
10. I let myself dream. Sometimes my mind keeps me awake all night!
11. I invest time into others. People who are completely self-focused tend to have more downs than ups.
12. Whatever most people my age do, I try and avoid.
13. I regularly take stock of my life and consciously appreciate everything in it and about it. I am always acutely aware that my life is great and that I am blessed to be where I am.
14. I set high standards for myself. I want to be exceptional and do exceptional things, and I will. Not because I’m particularly talented, but because I am prepared to work harder than most. I love to explore and push the boundaries of my potential.
15. I love swimming against the tide. I love doing what most people don’t or won’t. I love being unconventional and throwing ‘logic’ out the window (now and then). Sometimes logic is a synonym for fear and ignorance.
16. I look after myself physically. I don’t smoke, drink or use drugs and I never have. Ever. Being physically fit and healthy, helps me stay focused on a mental, emotional and creative level. It’s very hard to be ‘up’ when you’re physically unwell.
17. My self-talk is positive. I don’t beat myself up. I don’t feel sorry for myself and I don’t indulge in ‘pity parties’.
18. I get great feedback and support from lots of amazing people – like you. Thanks.
19. I keep stimulated and challenged by doing lots of different stuff! I thrive on variety and change – private coaching, corporate speaking, professional writing, TV, radio, blogging, business coaching and every so often, I make an appearance at my gyms. If I had to do the same thing day in, day out, I would be in trouble. I have made a career out of my passion. I get paid to do what I love.
20. I spend quiet time alone recharging my batteries. No phone, no internet, no TV, no people, no noise, no distractions. I connect with the fat eight year-old for a while and see what he has to tell me. Sometimes the only person we don’t listen to is ourselves.
See, that was short and sweet. I knew I could do it.
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Enjoy your day.
{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
I struggle with #6 – I change the stuff I can and I let go of the stuff I have no control over.
For some reason I still spend too much time focusing on the things I cannot change. Help me!
Hi Craig. I love all 20 points. Number 3 is my favourite.
Have a great day…Michelle of Malmsbury
Hello trustedsource.
I can only tell you what to do.. you’ve gotta apply it. Every day make the conscious decision to do and be different.
Cheers.
Hello Lovely Michelle.
I know why you choose no. 3.
You are strongest person I know.
Some love for you ( ) xx
Craig
Reading your list, well you don’t sound normal at all.
I showed someone your site recently and it made them real mad cause according to them not everyone is like you and u can afford to be/think/live/be positive cause u don’t have an ulcer and you don’t have 2 divorces and aren’t paying child support to 3 different women. Give it time i say. just kiddin.
I don’t think you would allow the same thing to happen to you cause you kinda respect yourself and your shit. I know people with no self-respect make the worst choices you can imagine which have big time consequences and yet they end up making the same mistake over again and you think to yourself ‘you f*** moron how the hell can u do that again? What the freakin hell is the matter with you?” You want to knock em out with a shovel so you can give them a DIY vesectomy. I’m talking big time mistakes which are so obvious to everyone including themselves yet they make it over and over again. Three times actually (apparently women never lie when it comes to birth control.why would they lie? Your not supposed to lie. Well duh!) This person doesn’t see what they are doing until they go to a shrink who tells them ‘your a victim’. Then they come to you and say ‘the shrink says that the reason all this bad stuff happens to me is cause i’m a victim. Do you think i am a victim?” They are waiting for you to say none of it is their fault. All I want to do is bitch slap them and say “victim my ass. Shame on you, your a man, be a man not a victim, sure my life sucks cause i suck but i’d be damned if i’m gonna publicly go around calling myself a victim. Read Craig’s site you dickhead. This is what the world has come to, people with penis’s calling themselves victims.
Sorry a little recent personal drama, had to vent.
I’m not saying i’m better by the way.Sure i lack self-respect but i managed to avoid making really bad choices by making ‘no choices’instead. It’s cheaper.
So your still little fat craig huh? You can never escape the fat kid. I know people who have lost a ton of weight and changed their lives yet something about them never looks right. They never look completely normal. It’s that fat kid thing. Sometimes these people look like they have an aura but it’s not an aura it’s their fat shadow. It will follow them around until the day they die.
Ange
Hi Ange.
I’m not normal, you’re not normal.
That’s how we like it.
Normal is boring.
You seriously need to do some stand up. That mouth of yours could make you some money!
I’d be in the front row.
Terrific List! Wish I could apply half of these into my life. I think you are right when you say. “Being physically fit and healthy, helps you stay focused on a mental, emotional and creative level.” There must be a correlation somewhere between these two.
Hi Craig ya groover…you’re just so damn cool. When are you coming to Perth so I can get one of your man hugs?
12 & 13 for me. Being 40 I often wonder if I’ll grow up when I’m 50….aah stuff it… make it 60.
Cheers dude,
Blessed Pet
xoxo
PS 2kgs down… I ROCK!!
Love the list. Being different and swimming against the tide are so much more fun than feeling negative and throwing pity parties. If anything it takes a lot less energy.
Hi Samantha.
Thanks for dropping by.
Hey Pet.
You do rock!
I’ll be in the West some time this year, so I’ll let you know and we can organise that man hug…
Here’s a cyber one for now ( )
Hi Cat.
Thanks for dropping by.
I know about you… you’re doing great – congratulations.
Let me know if I can help.
Hug ( )
Hey CH….
I think the most important tip that you have given us, is that everything you do to stay ‘up’ is something you love to do!
You love your work… you love the people around you… you love to exercise and stay fit and healthy… you love cheesecake!!!!!
If more people in the world did what they loved doing instead of what they “had to do”, there would be a whole pile more love in the world, and a whole pile less bitchin’ and moanin’.
Share the love…. It keeps you ‘up’.!!!!
KK
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Cool Craig! I look forward to your visit to Perth! (And meeting Pet as well!) when ya get here!
An awesome 20 points there Craig!
Ange, – I find you totally hilarious!
Pip
Hi KK.
I’ve been cheesecake-less for six weeks. I’m such a good boy.
( )
Hi Pip.
Will you make me a tea?
( )
Yep I agree with it all, but it is not as easy as it sounds!
# 17 resonates for me as I have just started reading Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E. Seilgman. I am finding that I have a battle with my internal dialogue on a regular basis. He suggest that by trying to change negative self talk to positive and disagreeing with your own internal dialogue you can then change how you think & feel. But what is great is that it is a choice that I can make, this is in my control. I will keep you posted..
Andy
Can i ask how you heard about little old me?
Hi Andy – good for you. That’s a good book. Keep us posted.
Cheers.
Hi Cat.
Are you kiddin’ me?
You’re a rock star.
I’ll be cheering you on for that Gold Coast Marathon…
( )
I like all of your tips so much that I printed them out to read on the days that I get down. Number 3 is the one that I live my life by. There is always a lesson in every challenge that comes our way. Once you learn the lesson, the challenge almost magically disappears.
What month is your birthday? Some of your tips, I could have written myself. I thought that sounds so much like me on several of the tips.
People have always told me that I was different, usually in comparing me to the rest of my family. Lately that title of different has come up again, except people are saying it as “weird”. I say, if you are going to be different why not shot for weird. That is weird in a nice way. Over the period of a week, I was called weird at least 3-4 different times by different people. What each person meant was that my ideas were different than those expressed by most people. I am glorying in being weird.
A friend told me a few days ago that she knows not to ask me something unless she wants the truth. I think that is one of the best compliments that I have ever gotten. I see you in the same light. That is why I read your blog articles.
I HAD to learn #5 to survive, I had to do #6 to get better,I have had to back off on #14…perhaps I set the standards too high…be gentle with yourself I am told, you are your own worst critic I am told…so the standards now come from learning to focus on the positives and accepting what can’t be changed. I am still learning the language of posisitve self talk to support #14…Craig – we can’t do any of these in isolation if we are to get somewhere – they all support each other.
I’ll take the frint row seat next to craig ange!
Jen from Mildura
Hi Patricia.
September.
Weird is good.
Truth is good too.
You’re weird and honest. Nice.
Cheers.
Hi Jen.
I’ll see you at Ange’s show!
Cheers.
Hey Andy
I also recently read Learned Optimism too. My middle name is ‘ruminator. But i’m not sure you can change by changing your self talk. Well not me anyway. It never worked for me. If you’ve never believed in yourself then your not gonna believe the positive stuff your saying. You only feel like a fake like your trying to convince or brainwash yourself to believe something that deep down you know isn’t true. I’m finding what works for me is to just ‘do things’. Start doing the stuff i’m interested in doing and as i do them then the voice that says ‘you can’t becomes weaker. you can’t argue against proof. It’s not enough for me to stand in front of a mirror and say to myself ‘you are a wonderful, strong, intelligent beautiful blah blah blah person. Especially if you’ve been a real shit lately. I tried that whole ‘power of positive thinking’ crap and i don’t believe in what i’m saying cause i don’t see it. The only way to convince myself is by actually doing stuff that’s gonna make me feel strong or to do something wonderful. What i’m saying to myself has to match up with how i’m living my life. Doing stuff makes me doubt the voice in my head that says ‘no u can’t’. Maybe when i become more confident in my abilities then positive thinking will work for me but at the moment there is no way cause no matter what good i try to say to myself, it just doesn’t stick. I can’t believe in myself until i start believing in what i’m doing. Does that make any sense?
Craig – Not really interested in stand up. Stand up is for people like Denis Leary and George Carlin. Comedians are smart in a ‘high school drop out’ kinda way. They have the ability to make the simple, ordinary stuff funny. They are great observers and participants of life. I’m neither. I walk around with blinders on and a lot of times i don’t see the obvious. These people know how to tell a good story. Me? I’m all over the place. My mind is like a jigsaw puzzle and none of the pieces really fit, and some are missing. The missing ones are probably under the couch along with the remote control and the stale cheezel i remember dropping during my last binge-induced coma. Right, like none of you have ever done that.
Ange
No.12 Is for me. I still can’t understand why my 20yr old daughter didn’t buy me a Big Day Out ticket while I was overseas. Surely I don’t still embarrass her.
You could have shortened this post considerably. To just one sentence in fact. “I LOVE LIFE”
Ange,
I think you just imparted some sound wisdom and advice. I think you just wrote a short, insightful post!
I’ve changed my mind on the stand-up thing. You should be a writer.
People connect and identify with you… What you said makes complete sense.
Nice.
Craig
You sound real surprised. ha ha
ange
Hi Craig. I found you over at Lifehack.org. What a wonderful treasure trove of personal development goodies you have for us here. I cannot wait to dig further. So nice to have found you!
What a timely post CH! Most entilghtening!
I have been doing a bit of ’soul searching’ of late an have realised I need to put some effort into points 3, 6, 9, 17 and 19. As you know I regularly practice 12 and 16, tho I can do with finding the good folk you refer to in 1 and 2.
Actually, they’re all great points and if I can master half of them I reckon will be so much better off!!
Cheers Mate…
Skater Boy
6, 8 and 12 – yeah baby!
oh! and i agree with ange’s last post about positive thinking. i can’t do that stuff either. i feel absolutely stoopid doing it, but i know what i’m good at and willkeep doing that cos it makes me feel good!
craigo, oh craigo!! lurve your work!
Hi Julie.
Thanks for the love!!
Cheers.
Great list Craig. Lots of stuff for me to think about.
Can I ask you a question? Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert, in terms of energy gain or loss when around people?
I’ve just discovered that I’m an introvert. I don’t look like an introvert (well, what I thought an introvert would look like) but when you get down to zero emotional energy, you start to really be able to see what saps your emotional energy and what helps to build it up. Being around people saps mine real bad. And yet it’s something I really LOVE to do (except for the past couple of years because I’ve been at ground zero emotionally).
Just curious I guess.
Craig,
We are so much alike that it scares me. Haha no really, I loved reading this post because it reassured that I’m not crazy! I always love knowing that people like you really do exist in the world. Thanks.
-Jenaé Plymale
Ohio, USA
Great list
At 51 I still haven’t grown up. I still have a 15 y.o that likes pity parties rather than a fat kid. I try to keep him stuffed away as much as possible and chat to him when I need to get a bit of a wake up.
I’m going to attack that list with gusto. My main targets will be, 1-3-5-7-12-16-17.
Thanks Craig (Still working my way through 2 years worth)
Good work Alan! Keep reading – plenty to go
( )
What great tips! Just what I was looking for! Thank you so much!
WOW! You have opened up my wings to fly because I feel and think and work like you do. I have been working on me and what you wrote has just lifted me to a higher plane. I feel myself floating above the current me. It is just amazing! Thank you for sharing and affecting me today. For this, I am grateful.
Hi Craig, I love the list! But question for you about # 16 … I don’t smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. BUT I have some major health issues and it makes it hard to stay positive when I’m always in pain. Its hard to focus on your higher-self when your physical body is constantly zapping all your energy. Any words of wisdom on this?
Thanks for the inspiration!
Hi Craig, i am a 26 yr. old woman who has always for the most part been very driven. I have up until about three yrs ago been a very strong minded go getter if you will of my life. Lately i have been feeling lost and have been unable to pull my self out of this revolving door. I have been out of school now for almost a yr and a half now. I have two classes left before getting my associates degree and only about a yr and a half away from my bachelor’s in psychololgy. I have this math test that i have to past in order to move forward with my college education but i cannot seem to past that damn test!!!! It drives me crazy. And im trying to get into shape. I need to loose 30 pounds but it feels like a i need to loose 300 pounds. I feel like i am in a daze. I never thought i would be at this place in my life. I feel like it is now or never to take back my life and my drive that has got me to this pt. What can i do to get the eye of the tiger back??? You seem to have the plan but i wonder have you always been this driven? What has gotten u pass the pts when you want to throw in the towel… Nevertheless, i appreciate your enthusiastic mindset and endless drive to be the best you can be.
Thanks for the list
Love to all of you!
So i think this is good the best way to definitely to stay positive is to stay productive! If u have a boyfriend spend time wit him or your friends or most importantly your family! One thing I do most of all is write. Just like rite now im goin through some things how i escape from it 4 the moment is by writing then bak to Reality! Thanks you guys
Be Humble Stay True~ TiaCassan