Destiny… people talk about it all the time.
Especially when they’re talking about big-picture life stuff.
Or when they’re rationalising why something didn’t (or won’t) eventuate.
“Don’t worry love… It’s not meant to be.”
The term destiny seems to have an almost romantic, mystical, out-of-our-control, feel-good kind of vibe about it … “that was always going to be her destiny” (as the orchestra starts to fire up in the background).
So it seems that no matter what ’she’ did (thoughts, actions, decisions) her life (or part of it at least) was predetermined by destiny; it was always going to unfold in a certain way.
Despite her.
Not because of her.
Apparently some unknown, cosmic force was firmly behind the steering wheel of her life.
She didn’t really have to touch the controls because her life path (destiny) was pre-set on auto-pilot.
Am I the only person who considers this to be a load of self-limiting, mumbo-jumbo crap?
Am I missing something obvious?
Let me know if you think I am.
One of the most disempowering notions in the world of human performance / achievement / psychology… (in my opinion) is that of destiny.
Why?
Because it teaches people that life (and what they might do, be and create in that life) is somehow, beyond their control.
Take a look at what popular thinking teaches us about destiny:
(Some dictionary definitions)…
De-sti-ny (noun):
1) The predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
2) The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one’s lot.
3) A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
Give me a bucket.
We may as well all sit on the couch and let life happen to us, around us and despite us… because apparently it’s all gonna happen anyway.
It’s pre-determined.
It’s inevitable.
I’m just a passenger on destiny’s back.
I wish someone hadda told me this earlier, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time making all those decisions, taking all those chances, overcoming all those obstacles, working so hard and busting my ass to create an amazing life.
Apparently I have no control over it anyway.. because my destiny is a “predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control”…
I musta missed that memo.
So not happy.
On a brighter note…
If destiny is what some people claim it to be… then at least I don’t have to take responsibility for how my life ends up.. ’cause I don’t really have much influence over it anyway.
Hey… that’s kinda convenient actually.
Hmm… you know what?… this notion of destiny is starting to appeal to me.
Far less effort. (tick)
Less pressure to do stuff. (tick)
Way less responsibility and accountability. (tick, tick)
Nice.
Comfy. (tick, tick, tick)
And all this time I thought that my life was self-determined not pre-determined.
What a crazy concept.
I thought what happened in my life… was up to me.
That whole.. ‘choosing, planning and doing’… thing; a farce!
If only I understood the destiny thing earlier… I would never have started this silly web-site thingy.
What was I thinking!!
Okay, it’s settled; destiny it is.
Right… I’m off to lie on the couch and watch TV while my destiny unfolds.
(so excited… can’t wait to see what happens)
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Craig
I agree whole heartedly that destiny as defined in your post is a convenient excuse or nice way for people to make themselves feel better when something is not what they want but they refuse to change it. But I also think it can be used to describe the inevitable result of someone’s course of action, For example, if I continue to eat fast food for every meal and not exercise I am destined for a heart attack! That is a good use for the concept of destiny because there are often guaranteed consequences as a result of our course of action (or inaction). Anyway, I am off to the gym so I can change my “destiny.”
Hey Craig
Ever read “Oedipus the king” by Sophocles? Ancient Greek play – the folks hear the ‘destiny’ of their son – that he will kill his father and marry the mother – so they send him off to be disposed of. Some good Samaritan saves the baby and takes him somewhere else to live and he ends up saving a city, becoming the king and marrying a lovely woman who turns out to be his mum. Good play – tragic…but Sophocles was thinking about this thing of ‘destiny’ (Fates in the play) – So was Shakespeare if you have ever read any of him…it’s all about defying God’s and facing one’s fate…(Romeo and Juliet – star crossed lovers) Anyway…I wonder if that means we can now see you as our philosopher?? Tee hee.. but hey you are so right…I am so ‘NOT’ off to watch TV and wait and see what happens. I’m ‘creating amazing’ – heaven help me, I have to do life the hard way!
Hi Orville.
I agree with you.. we do create our own destiny.
(It’s NOT predetermined).
That’s my point.
Enjoy your bench pressing!
Hi Jen.
I love it when you put on your teacher’s hat… and teach me something.
Cheers.
Now I wonder if we can change the line from one of the greatest movies of all time, from….
“it is your DESTINY Luke”
to
“get off your butt, pull your finger out, and fight for what you beleive in Luke”
or sumfin like that…..
Anyways Mr Harper, It must have been your DESTINY to start this blog site, cos where else could be get such a refreshing view on so many topics.
Well, I’m off to join you and plock my big butt on the couch and wait for the world to come to me!!
Hey Craig,
Yes, l am hearing (and cheering) you loud and clear on this topic!
If only scaling the mountain of life was that easy?
…then l might join you on the couch and watch tv too!
Keepsmiling
( )
Hi Craig
Here in Scotland we have a phrase “what’s for you won’t go by you”…which is churned out regularl relating to missed opprtunities. I am inclined to respond ( and so far nobody has punched me in the nose) with ..but it will if you don’t have your antennae tuned in or some such witty retort. That whole changing course of your destiny thing – translated is really putting in the work so that you get what you want instead?
Craig, There are some things that are beyond our control, and many problems can occur when we attempt to control them. There is also a certain amount of randomness to life, like when we avoid an accident (or don’t) by being detained by a minute.
I have to agree with you on this one. We can “be, do or have” whatever it is that we want and there is no one or no thing (such as destiny) with the exception or ourselves that can stop us!
I just wrote a great post about taking Action and the Law of Attraction. I’d love for you to read it! http://www.livethepower.com/blog/244/action-and-attraction/
Comments would be wonderful too!
Hey Craig.
See you on the couch!
Hello Keepsmiling (aka Cherie Horne mountaineer / adventurer).
See you on the couch with Craig (Skater Boy).
( )
Hey Jackie…
Scotland sounds just like Australia.
Cheers.
Hi Rosemany..
you’re right; some things are beyond our control… it’s the OTHER stuff I’m interested in.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Hi Karen..
Yep.
I’ll check out your post.
Cheers.
Thanks for reminding us that we can exert more power over our future than we initially realize. To attract desireable people and events, it makes sense to act. Who has ever gotten something for nothing? Opening our eyes enables us to seize opportunities exist.
Craig I’ve taken the liberty of naming you as a recipient of the Bloggers for Positive Global Change Meme. To see what I said about you and what you need to now do (if you choose to), check out http://imaginif.com.au/~ima33724/blog/2007/07/06/positively-protective-imaginif-we-won-an-award/
Thanks for all you do Craig. I am glad I stumbled across your blog.
Mxx
You Mr Craig are absolutely brilliant!!!! My favourite post yet. Love it love it love it!
Hello Sal.
Stop it; I’m blushing.
But thanks.
( ) – (cyberhug)