Comments on: Where Happiness Lives

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 14:36:00 +0000

You are 100% on. I have been the “selfish” masquerading as the “generous”. Meaning I was very sincerely generous financially but emotionally I was completely wrapped up in finding happiness and success for myself. But I had no idea how hurtful it was to me and people around me. But people thought I had it all – they had no idea the misery that lurked underneath. And the vicious cycle went on – misery needed more selfish pursuit of the temporary “highs” from my “drugs” of choice – business success and making people admire me. I was only able to change with God’s help and 7 years later have never had less in my bank account, never had less time for myself and never been so truly, deeply happy and at peace. I started a blog to work through some of these things and try to help others but I’ve just gotten started so don’t know if I’ll make it off the ground – who knows where it will go. Thanks for you obvious understanding and being willing to share with others.

By: Craig Harper

Craig Harper — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:42:00 +0000

Hi Moxamike – thanks for dropping by and sharing your considered perspective.

Cheers.

By: Craig Harper

Craig Harper — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:41:00 +0000

Hi Briar – I’m hearin’ ya.

Thanks… ( )

By: Craig Harper

Craig Harper — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:40:00 +0000

Thanks for your thoughts Jane..

By: Moxamike

Moxamike — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:05:00 +0000

I believe that perfect selfishness is actually what we are all trying to achieve through perfect generosity. We are all essentially selfish beings with the instinct of survival (happiness?) motivating our every behaviour.

If you define yourself by your rank and title, then what is perceived as selfish action will be ultimately destructive.

However, if you define yourself by your relationships with those around you, you will find that your own happiness and those of others are actually mutually engendering. So acts of "generosity" are actually of benefit to the self and, therefore, the highest form of selfishness.

We are who we are because of eachother.

Craig, while I find your style of "motivation" a little off-putting, particularly the way that you tend to categorise people into "types" and make some pretty bold sweeping statements about populations, I respect what you are trying to do by way of this forum in that you are bringing people together and attempting to empower them.

Just remember everyone that while we are all amazing, unique, incredible beings of light, so to are we all insignificant specks of dust in the grand scheme of the universe. To focus on one aspect of this too much will lead us into disaster. To appreciate both is to find a balance between the microcosm and macrocosm.

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By: Briar

Briar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 08:42:00 +0000

Yep, yep, and yep.
Unselfish= generous= love= happiness.
And I don't think you look anything like Fonzie, sorry!LOL

Two things though- I don't think there is necessarily any such person as a TOTALLY selfish being,( or the opposite), just as I don't think there is either a totally evil or good person.
But I think we are all in different places on the gradient, all with the potential to learn and grow more in love and unselfishness.
And like you have said before, if we stop learning well, we're dead.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 02:10:00 +0000

Hi Craig,I think encouragement and hope,and giving and recieving of them in any of these circumstances shows a path to happiness and its achievability. Anyway thanks Jane.

By: Craig Harper

Craig Harper — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 09:43:00 +0000

Hi Anon – extremely selfish people don’t have the awareness or the humility that you do – so that’s some good news!!

No need for shame – just a little work… like all of us.

( )

By: Craig Harper

Craig Harper — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 09:41:00 +0000

Hi Michelle – thanks! ( )

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:26:00 +0000

I’m probably an extremely selfish person. (My husband thinks I don’t care about anything but my career, but believe me I love him more than anything else in the world.)
But it is true that I don’t feel nearly as happy for any other reason than an acheivement.
I can’t tell you how wildly happy I’ve felt after every major (well, major for me) acheivement of mine.
And I’ve cried when I’ve failed. Literally cried.
But I do love my husband and my parents. (No kids yet)
I should probably be ashamed of myself.