What works for your life?

Hello Boys and Girls. I trust that you had a great weekend and hope you’re all fired up for a week of being, doing, thinking and creating amazing in your world. No matter what happened (or didn’t happen) last week, this week can be a life-changing seven days if you choose to make it that. If you take your amazing attitude in to every situation and circumstance, you will be surprised by the results you’ll produce in every area of your life… enjoy your week.

*Before you write in and tell me how dysfunctional I am, keep in mind that I wrote the following post with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek. Kind of.

Beyond the body stuff

female brideOn Friday we explored the notion that different things work for different bodies. While we all need to feed our body, move our body and manage our body in a physical sense, we now know that different things work for different bodies. There is no one-program-fits-all solution to health and fitness – despite what some people might suggest.

Life in general

Well, what about our life in general? Are there certain ‘life rules’ that are absolutes, non-negotiables; things we absolutely must do to have a happy, healthy, productive life? Should we all get married for example? If so, at what age? Is there a best age? Is twenty too young? Is fifty too old? What happens if we don’t? I’m not married. Will I turn into an unmarried freak? Maybe I am already and I don’t know it. Shit. That’s a concern. You’d tell me wouldn’t you? Is there an absolute relationship between happiness, health and marriage? Of course I understand that there’s an element of risk, but do any of you have figures on that? Guess it depends on who we marry right? And the attitude we take into that journey. Speaking of who we marry, is it true that opposites attract, or should we look for someone who is just like us, only slightly better looking? If I married a female me, I’d annoy the crap out me. I annoy me now and there’s only one of me.

The social stuff

What about from a sociological perspective? Do we each need a particular hourly quota of social interaction per day/week/ month to be a socially healthy and well-adjusted member of society? Will working seventy hours a week make me a stressed, unbalanced, dysfunctional social misfit, or a financially secure, stimulated, motivated, fulfilled and happy person? And what if I have a social job, does that mean I need less ‘dedicated’ social time? Are there rules for this stuff? The experts can prescribe R.D.I.’s (recommended daily intakes) for everything else (calories, protein, fat, salt, sugar, vitamins, minerals), surely they should be able to give us an R.D.I. on social interaction for optimal social health.

tenpin bowling“Now, let’s see Mr. Harper, you’re forty four, you weigh 90 kgs (200lbs), you’re not taking any medication and you seem to be relatively healthy. I’m recommending one party per month, bowling with your family four times a year, an annual hunting trip, some regular mindless chats with your neighbour Sam, a lot of watching sport with your buddies and one movie per fortnight with the partner of your choice.”

“Er, thanks Doc.”

See, simple.

Kids

What about kids? Are they are an absolute necessity over the course of a lifetime? Do they work for everyone? Do I really need one? Won’t nieces and nephews do? Can’t I borrow the neighbours rug-rats once a week for a few hours and see how that goes? A try-before-you-buy type of thing perhaps? They are kind of expensive to keep aren’t they? Is one kid enough, or do I need to have a few so they can keep each other entertained while I’m working those seventy hours? While everyone conveniently tells me what a constant source of joy they are, my observational skills tell me that ain’t always the case. Unless of course joy is a synonym for noise, anxiety, frustration and debt.

Education

Then of course there’s the education thing. What’s the go with academia? How much education is enough? Too much, too little? Just right? Or should we forget about College all together and attend the University of Life? It works for some. It seems that some academics are great at life conceptually, but practically… not so good; Academic genii, social duds. Great with theories and data, not so good with people. Not all of course, but some. Now, if a graduate degree makes for a better life, then a masters degree must equal a much, much better life. And as for a PhD… surely that equates to Nirvana? Or not.

Pets

computer dogMany experts tell us that we should all have an animal around the house – apparently they’re therapeutic. Just what I need; more therapy. “A dog will have a calming effect on your hectic life”, my best friend told me recently. “But what if it barks all night, ruins my sleep, eats my favourite shoes and craps all over the place?” Get me a dog that doesn’t bark, can use a toilet, feed itself and give foot rubs and I’m in. Find me a Boxer with computer skills and good breath and you gotta deal.

Religion

This is where it can get a little confusing and occasionally, emotional. Dangerous even. Research tells us that people who go to church (synagogue, temple, etc.) can expect to live longer than their heathen counterparts by a couple of years or so. Well… I’d suggest that might depend on exactly what religion we’re talking about. Some religions seem to be less concerned with longevity than others. In fact, some seem determined to shorten the lives of others. So I guess if I’m shopping around for a religion to enhance my life, I might opt for one that is low on arrogance, abuse, deception, violence and killing. Call me old-fashioned but those high-risk religions don’t do it for me. Crazy I know. Maybe religion would be a safer place if all those righteous people weren’t involved. But what do I know? I’m not religious enough.

Career

By some definitions, I’m a workaholic. What’s the R.D.I. on work anyway? Does it vary from occupation to occupation? If your job sucks then maybe two hours a day is too much work. But if your job is merely an extension of your passion and your creative self, then maybe ten hours a day is healthy? Would the R.D.I. for work be the same for a professional surfer as say, a homicide detective? Or a dentist? Maybe it’s not about the total hours worked but rather the impact those hours have on the individual? There’s a thought. I’ve never had a real job, just passions that I get paid for. I know, not fair. Maybe we shouldn’t look for a job but rather a passion that produces income.

Success and Money

In our predominantly materialistic society, we have been taught from an early age that more money equals more success. And more success equals more happiness. That’s the rule. He or she who dies with the most toys wins. Take a peek at many Personal Development websites (not this one) and what you’ll find is a bunch of material on how to make money. These sites are not about personal growth nearly as much as they are about personal wealth.

retirementAnd then there’s those who have the capacity to see beyond the bucks, the bling and the botox, those of a slightly more philosophical and spiritual disposition who are given to the notion that perhaps real success and happiness is more about an internal state than any external assets. Sure we have a need for stuff (a roof over our head, some shoes, some food, Internet access of course, a cross-trainer perhaps) but exactly how much stuff do we need? Is there a correlation between how much stuff we have and happiness, or is it irrelevant? Is it possible to be wealthy without any possessions? Maybe I could be a monk who lives in a big-ass monastery over looking the ocean that just happens to have a great gym, some big screen TVs and a resident chef. I could spend my days blogging, surfing, lifting weights, hanging out with my fellow monks and of course, meditating.

What do you mean, I’m missing the point?

** I know you’ve got an opinion on all this stuff. Add to the conversation by clicking on the comment thingy and tell us what you think. **

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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous April 27, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Hey Craig Harper

You are funny

I’m going to read over this again and again just because I want to keep giggling

Or have I missed the point and need to be serious

Anyway, a great way to start my week!

enjoy yours

Reply

Saulius April 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm

How do we know you missing the point or not? Ask your heart.

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Anonymous April 27, 2008 at 9:14 pm

Saulius
To tell you the truth, your right, I get it, I dont want to ask my heart-thats how everything got messy. I love this site, I cant belive that I have had the nerve to respond to this!
Anon..

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Gail April 27, 2008 at 9:46 pm

RDI’s for life. What an amazing concept. I think you have a point with education. The real problem of course is that so much emphasis is placed on it to get to first base and most organisations will not provide you with an opportunity without it.

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Marcel April 27, 2008 at 10:14 pm

I am screwed if your research is correct about people who go to church living longer than their heathen counterparts by a couple of years or so. Looks like I am going to die before them but I have rarely met a church going person who I thought was having a happier existence than me for having faith in God. But maybe that is just me.

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Mahalia April 27, 2008 at 10:29 pm

I can’t imagine my life without my children. As any good parent will tell you the noise, anxiety, frustration and debt are an insignificant part of having children and being a family. I realise that your tongue is firmly planted in your cheek but I can honestly tell you that neices and nephews do not count as they did not come from you. Children are the single greatest inspiration in our lives. They teach us all that is important in life. BTW. Your writing is a constant source of inspiration. Thank You.

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Megan April 27, 2008 at 10:34 pm

I just wanted to say – where did you get that photo of the dog on the pc. That is the funniest picture ever.

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MrAchievement.com - Stanley Bronstein April 27, 2008 at 10:54 pm

If your passionate about your work; if your work is what you truly enjoy doing; then it ceases to be work and it becomes play!

So you might actually be a “playholic”

MrAchievement
Stanley Bronstein
Attorney, CPA, Author & Professional Motivational Speaker

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K-Belle April 28, 2008 at 1:05 am

Hopefully that monastery of yours is not of a silent order. You would be in some deep shit Craig…and we would be at a great loss! ;-)

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Stephanie April 28, 2008 at 2:49 am

Homogeny breeds boredom. What would we have to look forward to if we were all the same? At once, life is both challenging and interesting because it is ambiguous.

What’s the difference between a freak and an unmarried freak? I think I might qualify for both! ;)

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enuff April 28, 2008 at 6:14 am

Well Craig, if life experience has taught anything it has taught me to laugh at any kind of formula for happiness and well being. Marriage is an important journey to take if you choose but if it becomes toxic there is no point in staying on the journey. Sure you can pretend to be happy – and that becomes soul destroying. Very far from amazing. Education – I am there – you can’t put round pegs in square holes and lets face it some of the worlds most successful business people created amazing without VCE let alone masters and phd’s. It’s in the spirit passion and drive…and no they are not necessarily nurtured by religion. (Ghandi…Mother Theresa, Fred Hollows come to mind) Religion has ‘rules’…we can’t create amazing from rules…most amazing I ever see is from those who push away the boundaries put up by people, culture and institutions and create their own – some think they are crazy, I think they are amazing.Pets… I am about to embark on something risky and new…a big dog – to satisfy Miss 14′s life long dream of a big dog…much to my parents disgust who currently predict all the woes and misfortunes I will face for making such a choice…he just may be the best male companion of my life! As for money and things like houses…I am happier now than I was with a 3k plus mortgage and a home that took all day Saturday to clean. Nope…if someone tried to give me RDI’s for all of this stuff I would laugh at them – and I don’t laugh at people often. In actual fact I have more respect for those who argue we need to declutter and take a sea change :) Thanks for my monday morning Reassurance Craig :)
Jen from Mildura

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 6:52 am

Hi Anon. Glad I made you laugh ( )

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 6:53 am

Yes Saulius, often our heart knows but our head won’t listen…

Thanks for dropping by

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 6:58 am

That’s true Gail… unless of course you create your own business! Education is great but too many people believe that being educated automatically equates to success, fulfilment and happiness.

It doesn’t.

An education is certainly an advantage. But there’s education and education. I’ve met some very qualified and educated people who don’t know much!

It’s a matter of finding what works for us individully. ( )

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 7:01 am

Hi Marcel. For a lot of people, going to church has very little to do with God.

Get yourself a dog – they add two years – that will offset the lack of church! LOL.

( )

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 7:02 am

Hi Mahalia. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad you enjoy what I write. ( )

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 7:05 am

Hey Stanley. Good point Dude.

Playholic. Nice.
Do we need an ‘A ‘ in there?

Playaholic?

Anyway, I like where you’re going with that.

Might write that on my buiness card.

Enjoy yor week…

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 7:06 am

Hi K-belle.

A silent monastery.
Hmmm, never thought of that.

Every monastery needs a rebel.

( )

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 7:08 am

Hi Jen. Thanks for dropping by and sharing.. enjoy your week in sunny (?) Mildura. ( )

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 7:12 am

Hi Stephanie. Nice use of words.

First person to use ‘homogeny’ on this site.

Get on board the Freak Train (with me), it’s a crazy ride.

Toot, toot.

( )

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Craig Harper April 28, 2008 at 7:20 am

Hi Megan. I took the photo yesterday when he was typing my latest post. I dictate, he types. It seems to work well. Once he perfects the foot rub, he will be the ideal employee. A few dog biscuits every now and then, the occasional wrestle on the floor, no holidays and no attitude problems.

Gets no better.

It’s taken a while to train him but he’s much better since he has stopped drooling on the keys.

( )

PS – I find my pics from a range of sites on the web.

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Stephanie April 28, 2008 at 7:46 am

Toot toot Craig!

Reply

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