We’re not Worthy, We’re not Worthy

Before we get under way with today’s installment…

Workshops

Sometimes when I’m writing here at me-dot-com I forget to factor in that many people (thousands) don’t actually come to the site to read my articles, they receive them as daily posts via email. So it’s little wonder that people keep sending the Bald Man and I emails asking when I’m doing a workshop in their city when that information is already up on the site. So for the benefit of people who missed it or didn’t know where to find the relevant info on the site, here are the dates and venues of my national tour….

Perth – Sunday, Sept. 14, State Library of WA
Adelaide – Saturday, Sept. 20, Adelaide State Library
Brisbane – Sunday, Oct. 19, The Brisbane Power House
Sydney – Sunday, Oct. 26, State Library of NSW
Melbourne – Sunday, Nov. 2, Harper’s Personal Training

To find out more about the workshop (content etc.) and/or book your place, click here.

Training with the ex-fat kid…

As you may or may not know, at the moment we’re running a fun little competition for someone to win a week of one-on-one training and mentoring with me; five one-hour sessions back to back at the Harperdome (my gym). Scary I know. So far we’ve had a great response with lots of people wanting to be putty in my hands. Weird. Entries close tomorrow, so you’re still a chance if you think you’d be a good candidate. Find out more about how to enter the comp here.

On with today’s post… We’re not Worthy, We’re not Worthy

And a big thanks to Wayne and Garth (From the movie Wayne’s World) for today’s title. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, see the movie or talk to someone who has. It’s mindless crap but we all need a little silliness in our very serious lives from time to time.

The Big Baby

If you’ve known me for a while then you’ve heard me say before that over the years I have had a tendency to get in my own way. Especially when I was a pup. A Junior Burger. Just like you have. Just like we all have. For years my crappy self esteem and lack of confidence (hard to believe I know) were my biggest hurdles to success. I regularly let my emotional issues (self doubt, fear, insecurity, poor body image) get in the way of my potential and possibilities. Sure I looked like the big, strong, confident alpha-male warrior on the outside, but internally I often felt unworthy, unqualified, incapable, ignorant and undeserving. And being the alpha-male with biceps bigger than my head, I wasn’t particularly open to exploring my emotional issues with others. Or even with myself. That would be weakness right? And we men don’t do that. It’s a man rule.

A Contradiction

What I knew and what I felt were often contradictory. Intellectually I realised that I could do (achieve, be, create, overcome) much more than I was, but emotionally I felt inept and inadequate. I often looked for the approval of others and when it didn’t come, that simply confirmed what I had felt all along; that I was crap. It was a vicious cycle. Throw in a little self-pity with the self-doubt and you have a recipe for disaster. Fortunately for me (and everyone around me), I didn’t feel sorry for myself too often, or for too long. I learned that my feelings didn’t need to become my reality. I learned to take risks and to allow myself to be vulnerable. Sure I crashed and burned a few times, but over the journey the positives far outweighed the negatives.

The Fraud

In 1993 I began working for St.Kilda Football Club as a conditioning coach. On my first day at the club, I was required to stand in front of the entire playing group, the coaching staff and the medical team to explain how the pre-season training program that I had designed was going to work (practically) and my plans, intentions and philosophy for their (the players) overall conditioning regime. So there I was standing in front of forty professional athletes, outwardly looking like the confident strength and conditioning coach that I was meant to be, while inwardly feelingly like the ex-fat kid who didn’t have any right to tell these amazing professional athletes how to do anything. Part of me felt like I didn’t belong. Before I got up to speak, I felt physically ill. When the coach introduced me, I thought I was literally gonna throw up. Fortunately for everyone, I didn’t. I gave my presentation and to my complete surprise, nobody picked me for the fraud that I clearly was. In fact they seemed kinda positive about what I had to say.

Just Feelings

Struggling with self-esteem issues is a completely normal part of the human experience. Show me the person who never doubts him or her self and I’ll show you a liar or an idiot. In those early days, the breakthrough for me came when I learned to recognise the self doubt, the fear and the insecurity for what they were in my life; emotional responses to certain situations and circumstances. Not facts, not logic and not reality, just feelings. I discovered that if I was going to wait until I felt ‘good enough’ or ‘worthy enough’ to do something, then I would have spent my entire life in a permanent holding pattern. So I decided to be an emotional risk taker. I was prepared to make mistakes and look stupid. Prepared to get hurt. Prepared to leave my ego at the door. Prepared to get uncomfortable and even prepared to be humiliated if that’s what it would take to really learn and grow. I did and I did.

And now?

Do I ever doubt myself these days? Do bears shit in the woods… of course I doubt myself. Do I get nervous when I do gigs? Sometimes. Do I keep pushing my boundaries? Yep. Do I ever crash and burn these days? Far less but… yep. Am I still learning? Every day. Does it get easier? Yep. Is it all worth it? And then some.

If only Garth and Wayne knew that they actually were worthy of meeting Alice Cooper, they could have ruled the world!!

In case nobody has told ever you, I will…

You are worthy.

Yep, YOU.