Comments on: Single? What’s WRONG with Him?

By: martina

martina — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 11:35:10 +0000

boy did i need to read this today.. loved it! Ive been a single mum now for 12 years – people ask me all the time why…. im successful, very outgoing, and thoroughly enjoy my own company and that can be a hard concept for many to understand. I would enjoy to meet mr. right eventually but the men who have crossed my path to date have definitey taught me lessons about romance. I always look forward to meeting the next man who enters my life if only for a moment and learning the next lesson… which to date is.. thank god im still single conclusion: being single is more about me than about the man……..

By: Robert

Robert — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:34:48 +0000

Hi,
Just wanted to say thanks for this article because it’s helped reinforce in me the notion that being single is perfectly OK. I am a 19 year old dude and am currently single through choice. ***ALREADY*** people react to me like there’s something “wrong” with me because I haven’t got a girl and I’m frigging’ 19 years old! Talk about social bloody conditioning….

What’s wrong with wanting to figure out what I really want to do with my life and then going ahead and doing it rather than getting a 9 to 5, marrying the next person that comes along and having 2.5 kids just because it’s socially acceptable?

I think it’s a possibility that people generally are afraid to be single because they haven’t learnt to enjoy their own company/they are scared that they will find undesirable aspects to themselves.

By: matt

matt — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 14:27:09 +0000

live alone die alone less complex ed that way

By: Sarah Love

Sarah Love — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:35:03 +0000

Oh my goodness! I just read the date on this, 2007!!!! So three years later… are you still single??

By: Craig

Craig — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:21:33 +0000

And Sarah… here’s a hug (for you) from me ( )

By: Sarah Love

Sarah Love — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:15:36 +0000

That was beautifully written and TOTALLY true. I am single and 30 and I have to say I like the thought of being married. I would someday love to be married. I too though am one of those people who think why get married just to be married.
The type of people who do that are the type of people who become doctors and lawyers and preachers because there parents wanted them to. I love my life. I can move when I want to. Eat when I want to eat what I want to. It is 5 am and I am sitting in my pajamas commenting on a post and no one is telling me to turn off the lights and go to bed cause they have to work in the morning.
I am learning to cook because I want to. Paying off debt because I want to. With each improvement I am more of a prize and honestly I kinda wanna keep the prize. If a man comes along who has worked on his life and has his act together and we can live side by side. That is great.

As far as grandchildren my brothers and sisters can take care of that. I get to be cool aunt Sarah who takes them on trips and lets them dye their hair. I love my life and each day I see more and more how I think that single rocks.
I think that most people think that there is a line that the “I now pronounce you” makes you a better, more fulfilled, kinder, cooler person. Here is the thing. If the person that you are with doesn’t inspire you to be all those things BEFORE then you won’t feel inspired AFTER. I think you have to inspire yourself to be all of those things. Then if something happens to the other person. You still have your inspiration. I am my inspiration. I am the wing beneath my wings. I make me so very happy! (I just gave me a hug) lol

By: Jocelyn

Jocelyn — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 06:58:03 +0000

God Bless you all for this fantastic topic and these beautiful, sweet, amazing comments. A real boost – now I can at least try to put a smile on my face! Thanks again.

By: Jody

Jody — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:44:30 +0000

Well Craig, if you even read these comments, I agree that singledom definitely has a lot more pros than marriage, although being married twice, once for 3 and a half years, and the second lasted 6 months…. there was plenty of love… i’m just not the need a needy guy type… i like my freedom, i believe in trust, and two people in a committed relationship, should have a wonderful space they share together, but love allows that wonderful space of exploring my hopes, goals, aspirations, and allowing and supporting my partner to explore his… and the only thing that single-dom, leaves me wanting, is someone to share my stuff with at the end of a day, or week… most days it’s amazing, profound, and almost borderline sacred, so only my closest most intimate friend, lover, partner, gets to hear it. Of course now and then i need to feel sorry for myself, but never give myself more than 24 hrs for that. I think we should meet. You know what I just started saying, mostly because it seemed true, then it was literally true. You’ll always find Joy in Jody… just remove the D…haha

By: Trish

Trish — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 04:02:30 +0000

Thank you for expressing your ideas on this. I ,too, get asked that constantly- why I am not married.
I get comments like,” I am so surprised no one has scooped you up yet!” and ,” A beautiful woman like you should not be single.” and
of course, the comments – no body to my face has asked,” What is wrong with me, but I sense it. One guy I turned down because I just did not like him gave me a ” Lord, Heal my Hurts ” book.

Like he was certain it was me, not him. I gave it away to someone who needed it more than I did.
I was married , and it was awful. I learned a lot about myself, and what I did not want.. I did make many mistakes that God has helped me correct- Like not valuing myself. Like settling. Like not understanding myself and what I needed in a mate. Like placing my whole value and worth on what I could offer in terms of looks and sex acts, not character and self- respect. Like not looking for traits in a man that would make for a happy and secure life. The lessons, though hard, have been worth it- God allowed me to find the me I was meant to be.
Although I would like a compatible mate, that I am passionately in love with, I , too am happier single, than in a relationship where I am always trying to please someone. . God has shown me so many things about true joy that I might have missed fixated on a husband.
I dedicated myself to my personal growth, and am still growing. I have learned ways to deal with loneliness, and developed my personal relationship with God that enriches my life.
I am done allowing other people to define me, and am finally now completely satisfied just being me.
Whether or not I find a soul- mate, or not, I am determined to get the most out of life.
I would much rather be a little lonely and single, then unhappily married and stuck. I believe in life time commitment now, and would not make a commitment for life unless I was sure.
Thanks for speaking out about this issue.
Marriage is only wonderful if it is done right. It can either be Heaven on earth, or the other place. I have been there, and believe me , single is much better compared to that.
God Bless you in your work and life.
Trish

By: lee howells

lee howells — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:26:19 +0000

i’ve just read this today, i laughed out loud every couple of sentences. very true, very real, VERY GOOD!