Life After Death (or Perhaps Not)

Hi Guys, CJ here… hope you’re enjoying your week. What’s-his-name is having the day off today so you’ve been lumped blessed with me. ;)

Celestial Travel

Up until a year or so ago, I was very certain about what would happen to me after I died. Not, like, immediately after although I’m hoping that my family will choose something flattering for me to wear and someone will remember that I do not want to be cremated – not after I saw that awful James Bond film where 007 is (almost) burned alive. I had nightmares for weeks after watching that. Yikes. No, I’m talking about what happens to the part that isn’t my body. You know, the bit that is, well, me. That is, if there is a bit that isn’t my body. Hmmm. Aaah, I love to explore the easy topics, don’t I? Especially as we all have the same ideas about this stuff.

The way I used to see it, my journey to the ‘other side’ was as predictable and inflexible as a travel itinerary for an ‘If It’s Tuesday This Must Be Belgium’ European coach tour. It was almost like my church was a travel agency and if I paid my dues I would be granted a seat (pending availability, of course). But, now, I’m not quite so convinced. Actually, at the moment the only thing I know for certain is that I know nothing for certain when it comes to the “what happens once we die” stuff. I thought I did but over the last year or three it’s dawned on me that (for a range of convenient reasons) I simply adopted the beliefs of those around me. In fact, I’m not sure I ever really had my own revelation or epiphany.

Epiphany-less CJ… sigh.

Choose Your Retirement Plan

From prehistoric times (meaning, literally, before recorded history) human beings have sought to explain and predict what happens after we die. Most cultures and religions have some kind of belief system whereby the non-physical element of the deceased (call it spirit, soul, essence, being) moves on to somewhere else.

The ‘somewhere else’ does, of course, differ dramatically between the various cultures and religions. The Ancient Egyptians, for example, believed that the dead would live again in the ‘Fields of Yalu’ – as long as they had been properly mummified, remembered the appropriate spells from the Book of the Dead and had a sinless heart that was as light as a feather. Sheeesh. No pressure.

Other religions teach that souls go to heaven in its various forms as long as the would-be saints meet the strict entry requirements. And, of course, those who don’t will spend eternity in a lake of fire. No pressure there either. ;)

Still others believe in reincarnation. Hinduism, for example, is incredibly detailed and specific about life after death and the reincarnation process. Would it be terribly shallow of me to want to come back as Scarlett Johansson?

Okay, okay, just checking.

As I said, I have no idea what I believe anymore so I’m not making any judgements as to which religion, belief system, theory or culture is the most feasible (although I probably won’t be tearing up the bedsheets for my mummification any time soon). Nevertheless, it’s fairly clear that although most human beings believe in some form of an afterlife, they can’t all be correct about the details.

The Need to Believe

When I was seventeen, I saw a dead person for the first (and only) time. I was shocked that he looked so indisputably dead. Not sleeping. Not pretending. Not like in the movies. Just sadly and simply dead. Something had gone.

We can either believe that the ‘something’ which had given that body life, which had animated it (in the truest sense of the word) has been extinguished forever or we can believe that it still exists but it has gone somewhere else.

To many of us, the first option – that our physical death is all there is, thanks for coming, no more, all over red rover, end of the line – is unfathomable. Especially when we are saying goodbye to someone we love. In some respects, it is braver to believe in the ‘that’s all there is’ theory because it offers no comfort to the grieving. There is no consolation: no ‘we’ll meet again in a better place’; no reassurance that our departed loved ones are watching us from heaven or elsewhere. Nothing.

It is perhaps unsurprising, then, that so many of us choose to believe in some form of afterlife. To me, the thought of there being ‘nothing’ post-death is beyond comprehension. Or maybe it’s beyond my comfort threshold. I simply cannot imagine not existing. But then, maybe I don’t want to.

Does It Really Matter?

I remember watching a sit-com a few years ago where the husband had secretly sold his half of the side-by-side burial plots that his wife had bought for their eternal rest. She found out and she was furious. His defense was that he had figured that if she died first she would never find out and if he died first he couldn’t care less that she was angry. Clever man.

I’ve heard many, many people argue about what we can expect in the afterlife. If ever there was a pointless argument, surely that’s it. In fact, I have spent much of my life in the middle of religiosity so it can be a tricky thing for me to separate the programming, the experiences and people’s expectations (of me), from what I learn to be true – away from the influences and pressures – all by myself. Some of you know what I’m saying here.

Apparently, it’s important to be right about this stuff. Which, to me, is a little puzzling. Surely what I think and predict is fairly insignificant in the whole scheme of things. If, for example, I took a trip to Norway but I had mistakenly believed that it was a tropical paradise, would Norway be at all affected? Would Norway care? Okay, they might laugh at little when I have to wear a bikini in the snow but other than that I don’t think there would be a huge impact on downtown Oslo. I’m thinking that if we are right about the afterlife then that’s great but if we are wrong we are probably going to be unaware of our mistake anyway.

Or maybe I’m completely missing the point.

Living Life as a Prelude

Perhaps the importance of our afterlife belief system lies not so much in how it will affect us after death (if at all) but how it affects us now. Because, to some extent, many people allow their afterlife predictions (expectations, beliefs) to have a significant (if not, over-riding) impact on how they live their lives. Which can be a great thing or a not-so-great thing depending on your perspective and the ‘rules’ to which you must comply.

Some people joyfully make positive contributions to the world because they believe that it is their role to serve and that after death they will be held accountable for (and hopefully rewarded for) their deeds. Other people will endure untold (and often unnecessary) misery because they believe their rewards will come not during this life but after it – happiness in life is sadly sacrificed for paradise after death (him-dot-com touched on this recently).

For some people, their afterlife belief system not only influences their lives but determines their lives. They invest so much time and emotional energy into their religion that the suggestion that they could quite possibly be wrong is incomprehensible – it is, understandably, far too confronting for them.  Because, to adjust their beliefs about the afterlife would (perhaps) necessitate a complete shift in their thinking about this life.

Of course, there are also many people who believe that there is nothing at all after death but they are kind, generous, honest, happy and gorgeous people anyway.

Always With You

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the afterlife discussion is not so much the incongruous variety of theories but what all of them together can illustrate about human nature. The fact that we have such a range of theories demonstrates that many of us need to make sense out of the nonsensical. We need to find meaning and purpose in the seemingly random, unfair, inequitable and often indiscriminate nature of death.

But, mostly, I think it demonstrates our capacity to love. Our love for our friends and family is so strong that (for many of us) we like (need) to believe that they must always exist, somehow or somewhere. Perhaps it is naïve but at the same time, it’s comforting. And, of course, if we are wrong we’ll never know. Right?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here (or if there are we won’t know for a while yet ;) ), just opinions respectfully expressed.

CJ xox

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Eduard @ People Skills Decoded May 5, 2010 at 9:09 pm

Hey CJ,

I like your point about how what we think about what will happen after death affects how we live our life now. I think believing in some sort of life after death often encourages people to live this life like it’s just a reversal. And if it’s not, than they’re wasting the most precious gift they have. This is why I prefer to think this life is all I have and make the best out of it. Every day.

Cheers,

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Lisa from USA May 5, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Dear CJ,
How interesting that you just questioned your beliefs of life after death 1 year ago.
In my case, my belief is that after we “pass on” from this life we are just changing form, and our energy is still present.
I agree that our lives in the meantime are meant to be maximized.

Being here is what we were all born to do!

I doubt there is a ceremonial judgement of how we lived our lives (at our time of passing,) because I believe we all get a pass for being human.
big hug from Lisa

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Michael N May 5, 2010 at 10:17 pm

I just wanted to comment on something maybe someone can give some advice.

Having seen multiple family, friend and pet deaths I have no issue discussing them. But put me with a grieving person and I feel very very very uncomfortable and want to run.

Someone said to me, hang on you lost your mum (I really hate using the world lost or loss to me it ain’t but I digress) in May 2008 you should be sympathic. No I end up saying something stupid as I just do not know what to say. It is like oh my god your whoever or whatever is gone or going I’m going to pieces, but if they ask about my mum, dad or anything I can say it so matter of fact without raising a tear. I have no idea why.

Anyway…just wanted to add to the postings slightly differently hope that is ok CJ.

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Olivia May 5, 2010 at 10:36 pm

The Holy Bible explains that Jesus has prepared a place for us, to those that believe. Believe what? That we are sinners in need of a savior and that Jesus died for our sins that we could be acceptable to God. It is a gift. It cannot be earned by good works or following rules. Repent, (don’t we cringe at that word) and believe that Jesus is the Son of God sent to die for our sins in our place. He overcame death and stands waiting.

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Nell May 5, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Hi CJ,

I have always been terrified of death and have proclaimed again and again that I’m never going to die (as if I have a choice!). The thought that ‘this is all there is’ and at the end of it I’m either going to be buried to rot, or be burnt and turned to ashes is something I find beyond comprehension.

Thankfully I have never seen a dead body, but like most people I have been closely touched by the (untimely) death of loved ones (three siblings, step-son, friends). Because of my fear of death I vowed that I would never ‘view’ a departed person – to me once they were gone they were just a body, not the same person that I loved.

That all changed last year when I found out that my Nanna was ill and we were all called in to say our goodbyes. Nanna was and still is my idol and I didn’t hesitate to hop on a plane to go and see her. The time I spent with her in her last days were magical. I was fully prepared to be there with her until the end and my fear of death didn’t even enter my head. Unfortunately circumstances dictated that I had to return home to work and Nanna passed away just after I returned home so I wasn’t able to be with her in the end.

I guess the point of this rambling is that even though I have a fear of death and what that may mean – when it came down to the crunch the fear of the unknown disappeared and all I wanted to do was be with the person that I loved so dearly. What happened after she passed away didn’t enter my head – being able to tell her how much I admired and loved her while she was still conscious was an amazing gift and enabled me to say goodbye knowing she knew exactly how I felt.

Thank you so much for such a thought provoking post – I still don’t think it’s going to happen to me though … I’ll be the old duck that keeps getting the write up in the paper because I’m celebrating my 1(xx)th birthday and sharing my pearls of wisdom on how to live a long and healthy life!

Take care
Nell xxxx

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Scott from Scotland May 6, 2010 at 1:31 am

You have one shot at life. Live it.

Thanks for that CJ!

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Enigma May 6, 2010 at 1:42 am

I am a believer of reincarnation. In a way, it does make sense because if you do bad things, suck as hurting others, eventually, they will get you back. In other words, what goes around comes around. Then, again, it’s perfectly reasonable to extend this to the next life. However, there’s a flaw to this theory. First of all, we, or the religion, could use this as a way to comfort the crowd. Meaning if they do bad things all their lives and yet lived a good life, to comfort (or threaten other) the masses, you will want to say that in his next life, he will suffer or pay their price for their misdeed. Then, again, we, as human being, have no way to track these and what is left is what you believe (faith).

Enigma

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Elke May 6, 2010 at 3:12 am

Hi, I think at times our body dies yes. However our inner being will continue. It goes back to God. God is a spirit. Some people what I am about to tell you may say this would be an illussion but anyway here goes. When my father was alive and the doctors told the us that this is it due to the cancer being in his liver. We held on and my father came out of the coma state he was in and became well enough to come home. This amazed the doctors they couldn’t believe it. During the months he was at home he had said he was at the heaven doors twice but they would not let him in. They told him he has to go back but told him the 3rd time we will take you. Well I am thankful that we had him which I called borrowed time for 9 months. The 3rd time came and he was gone. I will never forget that time but I am at peace for I know where he is and he will always be with me in my heart. Thankyou this post is something to ponder. I liked it.

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Flick May 6, 2010 at 9:29 am

Hi CJ,
I agree with Olivia but want to add that it is so important that we be the best kind of person we can be – succesful in the wordly sense – relationships, business, health, etc. as it is our job to encourage others to become Christians so that we take as many people to Heaven as possible and it’s very difficult to effect/affect? others as a loser.

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Anonymous May 6, 2010 at 10:03 am

Dear Craig, this is one of the superlative articles from you, full of surprises, I wonder how did you achieve such a depth of human feelings educational and complete.
thanks
regards
Khalid Hussain, Karachi Pakistan

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Hellen May 6, 2010 at 10:05 am

i think you nailed it – many people can’t accept that ‘this is all there is’ because it is unfathomable. I think us humans are pretty egotistical to think we are too awesome to just die like the plants and animals. I believe in energy, heck thats what the universe is made up of, but an afterlife? Pfff bah humbug. We are lucky to have today and should not live our lives in the hope there is something better around the corner. This is it. Love those around you while you can. xx (funny this is what I think cause thru meeting a long lost aunt recently we share a weird ‘ability’ or sense of what can only be described as spirits of people who we find out later have died. perhaps they come thru cause we are ‘non believers’ hehe heck of a spanner in the works)
Love your posts CJ u r clever.

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Michael (Brisbane One) May 6, 2010 at 11:30 am

Well Hellen each to their own and your view is valid but I disagree with you, something is there, that is what I believe, and you or I cannot prove it either way, so let’s co-exist :)

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Suma May 6, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Talk about being negative. I mean for a motivational speaker, this is cold water all over my happy thoughts.

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Cdn friend May 6, 2010 at 1:34 pm

No one has the answer and it drives us crazy.

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Gayle May 6, 2010 at 4:43 pm

I never really believed in the afterlife and not sure if I still do. But I lost my mother and brother before their time and I guess I like to think that there would be some way for me to see them again.
Nearly dying myself last year from DVT has made me see things differently now though. Hellen, after what you went through too, dont you agree it makes you want to make the most of the life you have now and not sweat the little things anymore? I joined Weight Watchers on Dec 30 last year and Im 17.3 kilos into a rather long journey back to a healthy life and Im going to live every minute of it.
Thanks CJ.

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Celia May 6, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Hey CJ,

I was only talking about this the other day with a friend.

My Mum’s background was strongly christian she has a brother and a sister and they had parents that had prayer meetings at their house at least twice a week. When my mum had myself and my sister she and dad decided to not be religious in any way. They weren’t anti though and decided to support us in what we wanted to belive when we worked it out for ourselves.

When my Mum and Dad split Mum started going to Spiritualist church. I went with her quite often and when I endeavoured at about 17 to work out what I believed, I read through the bible (new testament) also buddah for dummies a and bunch of other things, what I took from it all was that I didn’t believe in just one in total, I kind of ended up taking what I liked from all of what I knew but I suppose I most closely relate to Spiritualism.

My grandma is 87 and believes without a doubt that she is going to heaven with God up there on the clouds because she reads the bible daily, goes to church weekly and after retiring from her “normal job” had to retire three times over the space of 20years from jobs that she volunteered at so much they started paying her..lol She still does meals on wheels for the “old people” as she puts it. lol

Now right up to when I turned 21 I got a bible from my grandma at every single birthday. I think I actually still have the last one somewhere…lol She was not only sure that she was going to heaven but sure that mum my sister and myself were not going to go there to be with her when we died because we didn’t do those things.

My aunty and uncle and their kids are all good christian people and will go to heaven I’m sure, but they all treat g’ma like an old biddy and a massive pain in their bottoms.

At 21 I had a little chat with my g’ma, I said I knew that the reason she wanted me to go to church and read the bible was because she was scared that I wouldn’t end up in heaven with her again some day. I said to her that I wasn’t going to start doing those things and that my beliefs are a little different to hers but none the less I spend my life trying to be a good, happy and loving person and that I loved her very much and asked if she thought that I was really going to be denied access to her after death when I am living such a good life? She cried and decided that probably wasn’t going to happen and so she was happy for me and herself.

Not having a fixed religon means I can pick all the good bits and add or change it as i learn more and grow as a human being. Pretty cool way to work it really, great way to acknowledge that I most deffinitely don’t know it all and to be very open to all religion.

Cheers,
C

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CJ May 6, 2010 at 9:43 pm

Hi guys,

Thanks for all your comments, stories and opinions. This discussion certainly provides food for thought, doesn’t it?

Michael N. I’m definitely no expert on this topic but I would think that there is no ‘right or wrong’ thing to say to a grieving person (within reason, of course). Perhaps we are all a bit too hard on ourselves sometimes. Different people have different ways of grieving and there is no timetable, rulebook or accepted dialogue. I’m sure that your obvious sincerity would smooth over any ‘stupid’ comments anyway.

CJ xox

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Rebecca Huggins May 6, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Given my recent experiences including pastlife recall, psychic awakening and being in contact with those passed over, I can say in my experience there is conciousness after death – after all energy never “vanishes” merely changes form, think of it like data from a computer on the web, the info is stored temporarily on your screen but when the computer is off the data is still “out there” on the web. I cud go into it in more detail but I would be here all day and I really can’t be arsed. :o ) Love the site btw, great stuff here – In “spirit” ational over Motivational I say ;o)
Namaste
Rebecca
x

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Alexis May 7, 2010 at 2:12 am

It’s nice to that Olivia & Flick spoke the truth. Jesus said “I am the truth, the Life & the way…no one shall see the kingdom but by me.” That means if you want to spend eternity in heaven, you must repent or you sins & live your life thereafter for Christ. When you die, your body is buried & left in the dirt but your soul lives on for eternity…it’s your choice whether your eternity is spent with Christ in magnificent heaven or endure the flames of hell for eternity with satan. But it is a gift that has to be received. God will not force Himself upon us. What a loving, mighty God you have the chance to serve!

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Sandy May 7, 2010 at 6:35 pm

Alexis, you arer so right. Sometimes I think that people think that this is all there is either because they are too tired to want to go into eternity or they think they couldn’t imagine anything being more beautiful than this world. A revelation I got from God is that the time for Jesus’s return is soon and I hope and pray as things get harder that people will turn to God and want to get to know His Son and accept Him as their Savior. We all as Christians have to get out there and be diligent in spreading His word and be the right example as an abassador for Him.

God Bless you all!!

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Anonymous May 7, 2010 at 8:46 pm

To the lovely Christians:
Jesus said
“Judge not, or you’ll be judged.”

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Michael (Brisbane One) May 8, 2010 at 10:31 pm

Thank you CJ and thanks for bringing up this topic. I think it is really up to the person to believe, we cannot prove or disprove anything.

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ALi May 11, 2010 at 3:29 pm

I know this is cheesy and I apologize but it is so true.

“Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.”
Maximus Decimus Meridius

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Suzanne May 12, 2010 at 5:29 am

C.J., you’re probably correct about having to feel our love for family and friends demonstrates our capacity to love. Naive? I don’t think so. It’s comforting for me because I experienced what comes after death and then lived to write about it in Mommy’s Writings. What’s important is probably just to believe it’s true.
Suzanne McMillen-Fallon, Published Author
http://www.strategicbookpublishing.com/Mommy, would you like a sandwich?

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Cassie July 15, 2010 at 5:32 pm

Hey CJ… Im with Olivia! It’s pretty simple. People make it too complex.

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Anonymous October 10, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Today is today. Hello to you whom reads this now. Life is real. You are alive and well. You will live for ever today. Believe in your life. Trust that life holds faith with you. Overcome thy fear. You already are there.

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Dragon October 10, 2011 at 10:09 pm

so next time someone says “I’m getting there” when I say how are things then I should respond “let me know when you arrive and we can share a cup of tea.”

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