Following on from Part 1.
Catholic Craig
Growing up in a Catholic home which was regularly frequented by Nuns and Priests (friends of my folks), attending only Catholic schools, being taught about life (God, religion, marriage, relationships, sex, good, bad, right, wrong) exclusively from a Catholic perspective, hanging out with my Catholic friends and only ever seeing th
e inside of a Catholic church, I was probably never gonna be a Buddhist by my fifteenth birthday. Or even a Baptist or Anglican for that matter. My upbringing, my environment and my education taught me that I was born into the one true church. Whatever that means. As a teenager, I honestly felt sorry for all those non-Catholics who were going to hell; the ones in the fake churches. Whatever that means. After all, we had the Pope on our team; God’s personal representative on planet earth and a direct successor to good old Saint Peter – the first Pope. Apparently. How could I possibly go wrong? Fortunately for me, I had somehow stumbled on to the right team. What are the chances? All those religions and I was born into the only one that has a hot-line to God and an old bloke in the Vatican with a big hat and his finger on the eternal pulse. And of course, the only religion that could get me to heaven. Talk about luck. Or Karma. Oops, we don’t mention Karma do we? That’s the other team.
Sister Mary Patricia
Here’s a sentence I was never gonna hear from the Nuns in my religious education classes at school; “Okay students, we’ve decided to provide you all with an extensive overview of the core theology, philosophy and teaching of all the major religions of the world, then we’ll leave it up to you to explore the ‘God thing’ in your own way and see where you land; it’s important that you find your own truth, listen to your own heart and develop your own religious and spiritual beliefs and understanding.”
Nope, there was never gonna be a bar mitzvah for me.
No Hat Here
Now, before you think I’m getting my anti-Catholic hat on, I’m not. I don’t have one. I loved (most of) my childhood, my Catholic friends, my education and I was taught and mentored by some fantastic Nuns and Priests. And of course I love my (very) Catholic parents. What I am talking about is social, emotional and religious conditioning (in any system, organisation or religion) that tells me what to think, do and believe and doesn’t encourage me or allow me to explore and discover my own truth beyond the walls of that system. In fact, it discourages my exploration and free thinking by being critical of groups and individuals who think, believe and behave differently. And when I start to question the system or parts thereof, I am ridiculed and criticised. Possibly labelled rebellious, misguided and troublesome. The only reason I’m even talking about my Catholic upbringing is because that’s the only childhood I have. That’s my reference point. My experience. My story. I could just as easily be talking about any system that requires people to think, behave and believe a certain way in order to be a ‘member’. “If you don’t align with our doctrine, theology, thinking and rules then you can’t be part of our group; that is, you must believe what we believe. You won’t develop your own spiritual and religious beliefs, we will tell you what you can and can’t believe.”
It’s in Our DNA
In reality, we are all constantly being programmed (taught, influenced, impacted, shaped) by our world and everything and everyone in it. Our beliefs are always being moulded and manipulated (for better or worse) without us even being aware of it. Most of our beliefs are formed over a long period of time, which is why they become such a firmly entrenched (non-negotiable) part of our DNA. Our mental and emotional DNA anyway. And that lifetime of being taught a certain message and philosophy is what makes it very hard for us to consider another truth. Different beliefs. In considering something else (another version, option, way of living, thinking, seeing, believing) we often need to question what we’ve believed for ever and that makes us very uncomfortable. Scared even. I’ve worked with people who get angry when I even question what they believe. And I’m not talking about criticizing their beliefs, I’m talking about asking logical, thoughtful, intelligent questions. They won’t even consider that their beliefs may be wrong; it’s too traumatic, too painful and too uncomfortable. They’ve based an entire life around some of those beliefs, so who (the f***) am I to suggest anything else?! They make it impossible for themselves to learn anything new. And did I mention the anger?
The Pressure to Conform
The pressure to conform (think, talk, act, believe a certain way) exists in all areas of the human experience way beyond the religious arena; schools, homes, workplaces, sporting clubs, political parties, gangs… anywhere that people gather. Even in Cyberspace (on-line).
The Brain Hijacker
Am I saying that our own beliefs shouldn’t align with a larger group? No, absolutely not. What I am saying is that we need to discover our own truth, learn our own lessons and determine our own beliefs and then if our core beliefs happen to align with a group that we want to be a part of, so be it. But don’t let someone else hijack your brain, your potential or your free will because you want acceptance in to their group. To conform is to compromise.
I like the idea of being part of a group where identical beliefs and consensual thinking is not a pre-requisite for membership. Or acceptance. Or respect. That kind of group appeals to me. I think I might start one. Hang on, I have. And you’re part of it. You got that membership card right?
It Ain’t a Cult Here at me-dot-com
By the way, I don’t want conformity in my group here at me-dot-com; I want thoughtful consideration of what I teach. I want you to consider what I write, explore it for yourself and see if it seems like ‘truth’ for you. Don’t accept what I write because you respect me; I may be wrong. You and I can respect each together without agreeing on every topic. Accept what I write when you know it to be real, valid, meaningful and relevant for you. If what I write feels right for you, it probably is. If it feels wrong for you, it probably is. I can teach you and motivate you (for a minute), but only you should determine your beliefs and only you can change your life. I’m not the answer for anyone; I’m a resource. The answer you’re looking for is in the mirror. Always has been.
Next time, in part three of this very long post I’m going to talk about:
1. When should we change/ question our beliefs.
2. How we can change our (negative) beliefs.
3. How our beliefs get in the way of our potential (and what to do about it).
Let me know your thoughts on this topic. You know the drill.
See you next time with Part three.
Ciao x
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Hey Craig ! Nup… I’ll only agree with you when I agree with you… which seems to be pretty well all the time. Hmmm… great minds think alike… ??!!! LOL
{{{{HUGS}}}} Tina
Hi Craig,
Wrote this out and then clicked send and it disappeared so not sure if you got it or not…ho hum!
Reading this while listening to you on the radio was weird…stereo Craig!!! (donut with ears…you crack me uo lol!!!)
Part 3?? This could have been a book. I look forward to the next bit and will read the lot together and work it out, in the meantime I will think about it.
Have an aweome day!
hugs
Michelle xx
ps. if the other one came through too you can chosse which one to publish…I don’t mind lol!
I may not always sound like it but i think i agree with the stuff you say most of the time. Ok maybe half the time. Half the time i agree and the other half i just feel the need to rebel ya know. But i’m trying to cut down because i don’t want to disagree for the sake of disagreeing cause that’s just stupid.
I too grew up in the only ‘proper religion’, according to my family. I grew up orthodox where priests can get married, have kids, have sex and stuff and not go to hell for doing it. When our priest used to come over to our house, my job was to get him an ashtray and a whisky glass. It was great. Most of our priests are like construction workers, mechanics or plumbers. The priest thing is like a side job.
You know what’s funny whenever i ask people why we perform certain rituals on religious occassions the answer i always get is ‘i don’t know, ask a priest’. How can you not know? You’ve been following the same religion for 60yrs and you’ve never bothered finding out what it all means?
Ange
Suggest some light reading Mr Harper. ” Welcome to the wisdom of the World” and Scarred by Struggle Transformed by Hope” both by Joan Chittister – yes a CATHOLIC nun who is probably considered a CRAIG HARPER in her community.
She was a frustrated writer who was not allowed to write until she helped more unfortunate souls in third world countries – then she has the audacity to examine the spiritual traditions of Buddihism, Jadaism, Christianity and Islam – in a positive light.
A talented writer you will find.
By the way was absolutely delighted to hear that you are having an opportunity to experience DISTRACTION while writing (the little fur ball doggie) –
JSP – (always with many distractions!)
So we’re on the same team then Tina? ( )
Yeah, it is getting kinda long isn’t it Michelle?
Enjoy your Tuesday… ( )
Hi Ange
You’d be surprised how many people have been partaking in rituals that they’ve never understood or questioned for decades!
Freaky.
Hey JSP
“Not allowed to write” – that’s sad.
Thanks for the book suggestions.
The four legged ugg boot is systematically destroying my house.
Sigh
( )
Really looking forward to Part 3 Section 2. You know that these things effect your life but it’s the how to change it bit that gets me every time!!
Have a great day!
Dear Mr Harper
A BIG Hello to you
Sheez CH, you have challenged me with belief, what I believe & what I believed, if thats believable
I am going to give myself the opportunity to believe in myself more than I do right now.
Happy days
Isn’t religion in church just a set of beliefs passed down from one generation to the next?
You could even go as far as saying that isn’t the bible just someone’s interpretation of someone’s interpretation of events that occurred long ago. There is some amazing stuff in there, depending on your own interpretation, and set of beliefs…. can they all be right? Or just right for each one of us? Does that then make it right for me… or you… or any one else?
In fact, is there a right or wrong with anything? What may be right for one, may be totally wrong for someone else! Or can we just co-exist with opposing points of view on everything?
KK
XXX
Hey Craig,
I thought you were catholic and I’m glad you still love that part of you, but I guess all us catholic (lapsed (?) or otherwise) know what you mean.
There’s good news on the Catholic upbringing thing though – these days they may not actually state that sentence you would’ve liked Sr Mary Patricia to say, but – if you come across the right (motivated, focussed, inspiring ) people (and there are some) they are definetely teaching today’s little catholics some very life enhancing skills.
They are now ‘allowed’ to be more joyful, more intuitive and are also given more encouragement and inspiration than ever. Thank God!!
I understand your post and enjoyed it – and I’m glad you don’t have an anti-catholic hat. I don’t either.
Hugs Craig,
Monica
Hi Mary… now all I need to do is figure out how to write it!
( )
And Happy Days to you Anon ( )
“Or can we just co-exist with opposing points of view on everything?”
It’s good in theory KK… now, if only we make it a reality
( )
Cheers Monica… no hat here!
( )
Aah Craig,
The memories – I was never a catholic but went to a catholic boarding school. Unfortunately I was one of those kids who questioned the system (in spite of attending prayers with the nuns)and so, was not very popular in religous instruction class. One of the greatest keys I optained was never just accept something cause someone says it should be that way – question, debate, wrestle till you find your own truth. The greatest part of this is being able to question and debate with God (I can see the nuns throwing their arms in the air and praying for me as we speak – imagine questioning God – who do I think I am)
Well I know who I am – His favourite child !!!!!!!!!
Cheryl ( )
p.s special hugs to Johnny – sometimes I tune out Craigs voice and just look at the amazing pictures – thanks
It’s funny, I’m 28 and up until recently I thought the only way to “Get By” in life was “to go to school, get good grades, so I could go onto further education, to get a good job”.
What a joke! All because my parents, teachers and everyone else in my early years thought that was the only way to make money.
My partner and I have been fortunate enough to go beyond our ‘brainwashing’ and realise there’s more opportunities out there, much better than working for someone else til we’re 60 odd.
We will be a few of the fortunate people to retire in our 30’s.
Great post. Thanks!!
I can see how my family have formed some of my beliefs- particuarly my Dad. For example, his beliefs about what is a ‘good student’, about what is good exercise and what is useless. He told me that swimming and cycling are easy and no good because they’re both no-impact. But I never saw him ride 70 km a day or swim 4km 3-4 times a week (which is what I was doing at the time). I ‘hate’ how people can be so quick to criticise without being able to jutify what they’re saying.
While I also have my own expectations, I can see the influence of my Dad in many things I do/have done/want to do. “While you’re trying to finish your study, don’t get caught up in a relationship… don’t get distracted with tv programs… don’t think about getting a casual/part time job….” Parents can be somewhat over protective. I know they’re trying to look out for me and prevent me from making the same/similar mistakes as what they have done. But they aren’t me, and aren’t inside my head. While it hurts like hell sometimes, you have to make your own ‘mistakes’ or learn your own life lessons the so-called ‘hard way’. I love my parents heaps, and enjoyed my childhood too. It’s only been from the beginning of this year that Dad and I can see eye-to-eye. Prior to that we’ve fought like two cats (attacking each other verbally mostly over little things). It’s sad that it has taken so long (I’m 28, nearly 29). A lot of it has stemmed from my own emotions, anger, resentment, jealousy. It’s just taken this long for me to get a grip of some of that. Which, gettig back to what you were talking about- long standing beliefs can definitely have the potential to rule you, your life and your head.