All You Can Be?

Contrary to popular Western thinking, you can never be more than you are right now. Stay with me…

Of course, you can do more, earn more, own more, get more and give more but you can never be more than the one hundred percent of you that you currently are. Current you plus a bigger house or a better job doesn’t equal more you. No, it simply equates to you and a few extra bedrooms. And maybe a bigger salary. Just like current you plus a degree doesn’t add up to a one hundred and twenty percent version of you. And when you become that world famous entertainer, researcher, entrepreneur or philanthropist, you still won’t be more than your current self because what you achieve, own, earn and do is not who you are. You are not an achievement, brand or bank balance. Somewhere along the way, we’ve confused doing with being.

You are not a human doing and therefore, you are complete.

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Mel January 1, 2014 at 5:50 pm

That is awesome. Thanks Craig. Just made the whole family including Mr 6 and Miss 9 stop what they were doing and listen to your words.

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Craig January 2, 2014 at 10:31 am

Were the kids confused or bored Mel? ;)

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Mel January 2, 2014 at 10:52 am

Amazingly I find that the kids usually get it better than the adults lol. They don’t filter it through their own crap. They usually come back with something that shows their understanding that blows me away.

They are very used to Mummy sharing points of wisdom so they assume the position and let me get on with it :)

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Cathy S January 1, 2014 at 8:19 pm

How is one supposed to prop up a fragile self-esteem if one can’t feel like more than another by doing or having more? ;)

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Craig January 2, 2014 at 10:32 am

On needs to dispense with the fragile self-esteem Cathy ;)

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Anonymous January 1, 2014 at 9:15 pm

Happy New Year! :)

Craig, I don’t think I’ve understood what you’re saying. Underneath, I am sometimes quite unhappy, passive and sedentary. I think “bad thoughts”. I’ve done things I’ve regretted, which have started off as a thought in my mind (part of me). If what we do doesn’t matter, how can people get a chance at redemption once they’ve made a mistake? For the last 20 years I’ve worked at trying to be nice, cheerful, generous, honest and kind. What you seem to be telling me is that none of what I do matters, and the horrible bits underneath are who I really am. I don’t believe that, or want to believe that. Unless you believe in original sin, no one is “born bad”.

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Berni January 2, 2014 at 10:15 am

Dear Anonymous

I just want to give you a big hug…right now…..and another one….
What you do does matter….. but the core of who you are is more important than what you do…May I share what I have learned?
In God’s eyes we are always forgiven for our mistakes, we all make them, and therefore we need to forgive ourselves….AND accept God’s amazing love and grace…we are His beloved….isn’t that amazing news.’

It took me some time to fully understand and accept this concept…having a relationship with my Father….heavenly Father!!!!…I did not know that this was possible…anyway I receive His boundless love and mercy and forgiveness and kindness and amazing grace…..and bountiful blessings…there is nothing like it….it makes me get out of bed excited every morning…and because I receive His love I am filled to overflowing to then give it out to many others

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Craig January 2, 2014 at 10:38 am

Hi Anon – I didn’t say (at all) that what you do doesn’t matter – I simply said it’s not who you are. You exist independent of your thoughts, choices and behaviours (you are not them and they are not you) – which is not to say that they don’t matter or have consequences or that you shouldn’t behave consciously or responsibly. This post is about identity not the irrelevance of our behaviours or actions…. you’ve missed the point (a little). :)

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Berni January 2, 2014 at 6:51 am

Beautiful ….and the truth thanks for timely reminder Craig

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Craig January 2, 2014 at 10:39 am

Thanks Berni :)

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Patricia Singleton January 2, 2014 at 7:43 am

I think it was John Bradshaw but it could have been Wayne Dyer that first told me I was a human being rather than a human doing in one of his books that I read. Keep reminding myself of that when I get too invested in doing. Often all I need is the reminder to breathe to bring me back to my center today. Love your post, Craig. Happy New Year. May 2014 be the best year ever for both of us and for anyone who reads this. ((((Hugs))))

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Craig January 2, 2014 at 10:39 am

Thanks for your ongoing support Patricia :)

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Patricia Singleton January 2, 2014 at 2:19 pm

You are very welcome, Craig.

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JP January 2, 2014 at 8:44 am

Happy New Year Craig, what about if you never feel 100% (let alone 110 or 120%)? I have started off this year with a question swirling around in my head, who am I? This may sound weird but how do yuo fix an identity crisis? Ever felt like you were almost invisible at social gatherings, like you have nothing in common with your friends and family, alone, taling with no one answering?

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Craig January 2, 2014 at 10:47 am

“Ever felt like you were almost invisible at social gatherings, like you have nothing in common with your friends and family, alone, talking with no one answering?”

Yep. We all have JP.

I understand the not feeling 100% emotion but often what’s lacking in our life is not a percentage of us (so to speak) but rather something else… often related to achievements, relationships, career, exploring potential… and so on. And you are none of those things. You can do them, have them and create them but you can never BE then. :)

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Desiree January 2, 2014 at 12:26 pm

So… I may be wrong here Craig. But, my interpretation of what U are trying to explain – is that human beings have lost the ability to know, tune into – or even – feel there own sense of Beingness. To be able to distinguish this from their “Personna” that is out there – achieving, doing & surviving…or – where exactly their Spirit is at. My way of connecting to this “State of Being” which is not always so easy to attain, or feel spontaneously – is through Meditation – Prayer – a good long walk or Run. It is that place I call “Nothingless” that is “in-between” & extraneous to the “Stuff” of Physical Life. It is where the “True Me” exists. -

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Craig January 2, 2014 at 12:44 pm

Desiree…. Yep…. and it’s also about our ability to differentiate between what we are (us) and what we are not (all the other stuff). Our culture teaches us that (1) we are somehow incomplete and insufficient and (2) our ‘stuff’ is who we are….

This unhealthy lesson creates feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and paranoia (which is all fear)…. thanks for sharing… :)

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Desiree January 2, 2014 at 1:12 pm

No Thankyou. I think U are very Brave opening up into these areas. There is a great need out there for more “Real Unwareness.”

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Nicki January 3, 2014 at 4:34 pm

Love this because it’s so simple yet hard all at once. Meditation really helps me step back and be. As do summer holidays and exercise. I find my doing allows me to be.

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Craig January 4, 2014 at 9:41 am

Nice Nicki :)

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Anonymous January 3, 2014 at 6:27 pm

Is it too late for a soon to be 47 year old single woman to get her shit together after many years of being unsettled?

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Craig January 4, 2014 at 9:42 am

Coming from the recently turned 50 year-old who’s still getting his shit together, I’m gonna with… no, not too late. :)

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Anonymous January 4, 2014 at 1:48 pm

I have lived abroad for years and returned home to find that I feel like an alien. Difficult starting over again as friends and family have moved on. Dating scene incredibly hard. I used to be the life of the party, sharp, witty, charismatic and no problem in attracting guys but for many years never really found ‘the one”. Now at my wits end!! Not sure what to do!! (I am the 47 yr old F above)

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