Yesterday I did some radio on the ABC here in Melbourne (it’s Sunday night now) and while we covered a few topics, the one subject which dominated the bulk of the talk-back conversation was gastric bypass surgery. It seems that many people have an opinion on it and it’s an issue which certainly evokes emotion (of all types). At present here in Australia, it is being suggested by some in the political arena that we tax payers should foot the bill (or part thereof) for obese people who choose to opt for that particular surgical procedure.
But this Article Isn’t about Surgery
Personally, I’m not a fan of the proposal but that’s just my opinion and as it stands I don’t think I’ll be influencing parliamentary outcomes any time soon. Of course there were talk-back callers in both camps (for and against) and as always, there were a few people-pleasing, fence-sitters who said nothing in particular and just wanted their thirty seconds of air time. That’s okay; no harm done.
But none of that was what really grabbed my attention.
A Shift
Maybe it’s just a shift in my consciousness and/or a change in my level of awareness, but what became very apparent to me being part of that on-air discussion was some people’s need to be right no matter what. People who need to be right are dangerous. And abundant. You’ll find them in governments, at schools, in churches, in businesses, on blogs, on sporting teams, on radio and in every walk of life. They’re not really interested in learning, connecting or considering any thoughts or ideas other than their own. They periodically feign humility but it’s just a show. They don’t discuss; they deliver a sermon. If not, a tirade. They don’t talk with you; they talk at you. They are not interested in the greater good; they are (often) self-absorbed, unaware, delusional egomaniacs who like to show others how intellectually, academically, philosophically and spiritually superior they are. They definitely don’t want you or I to teach them anything.
Humility and Open-Mindedness
I have many strong opinions (no shit) but as a rule, I am open for discussion, correction and education on most things, as long as the chat transpires in a civil, logical and respectful way and as long as my educator is humble, open minded and well-meaning. Irrational, self-righteous, loud-talking, ranting zealots annoy me. The more you an I need to be right, the more shut down we become to what the world and everyone and everything in it has to teach us. The more we will miss out on.
If (some of) our political and religious leaders were less concerned with being right and more concerned with being righteous, perhaps the world would be a very different place.
But that’s just what I think; I could be wrong.
Are you EVER one of those people who needs to be right?
Can you change?
Then change.
Ciao x
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Wanting (?needing) to be always right was the very cause of the constant tension between my Dad and I. It was only early this year that I finally dropped the jealousness, bitterness, anger, resentment etc that I felt towards him (and with stuff going on in my world). Now we can talk like father and daughter, not like two cats fighting all the time. At age 28, that is a heck of a lot of emotional energy wasted on shit (minus my early years as a toddler/adolescent before I ‘learned’ what anger, resentment, bitterness, frustration etc even was!). So yes, I can change. It took a shift in my thinking. I’m not sure why it had to take so damn long though. Life is a lot more pleasant when you can sometimes agree to disagree with the opinions of others, and be open and respectful of what they have to say.
Jules
Hi Craig,
There are a lot of people out there who like to be right and hate to have that questioned too.
I didn’t hear you on the ABC, but did hear you bring that up on all the other shows you did it on and there were some interesting comments. (I even smsed a comment to the lightfm show!) (ooh are you feeling siddenly stalked?) Could we do a petition to let them know we don’t agree with the tax payers paying funding the op.
I am morbidly obese, I made myself that way and it is me who is doing something about it, I would not dare to ask anyone else to pay for it. (I get my GTT results today (mon) hope they show a change!)
I know people who have had the surgery done and then liquidise their food like pies etc so what is going to change? They need to be fully educated on nutrition and well counselled before the op is done and follow up nutritional advice as well.
Anyway great post as usual, I have been interested in this since first hearing about it on Tuesday morning. I too read the article.
Hugs and have an awesome day
Michelle xx
I am a reformed right-fighter. As I have gotten older I have figured out that it just didn’t work for me. Its very frustrating trying to be right all the time, especially when you have no idea about stuff. LOL.
Joanne.
PS You keep weird hours Craig….hmm but then so do I.
In terms of the impact on moi, I don’t mind so much if people want to think they’re right and won’t entertain any other ideas or opinions .. their loss. What I can’t stand are the people who aren’t happy until they get YOU to admit that they’re right.
They will hold you in the “conversation” until you give that admission .. sometimes physically restraining you if you try to end it! “But can’t you see that….” or “you have to admit that…” Sorry, dudes. I’m a bit competitive by nature and that will only make me debate AGAINST you, just for the fun of it .. regardless of my true opinion.
And it’s not hard to see that the real issue for these poor creatures isn’t needing to be right or not. But everyone has their own challenges in this life. And the more you learn now, the less you’ll have to learn next time around! (Which is a whole other debate….)
Welcome to a new week all!
Cheers,
Sue
Many people are looking for quick fixes, and that’s why many people are looking for an expert that can tell them the answer to everything, and is always right. Out of those demands, people that need to be always right are born. In a way, they are just trying to please people (and then get money out of them).
Hi Craig,
On a completely different note I've just picked up your book again to read for inspiration. Mum & Dad have passed and now it's time for me to get back into the swing of things with my health & fitness goals.
I followed my intuition and it led me to Fattitude. I'll comment again once I've finished reading it. Who knows what lessons I'll learn this time. Oh and I've included reading daily in my goal framework of which I learnt from you as well.
Last but not least, is something I picked up from your seminar. Your body does not define who you are, it's where you live AND I'M FINALLY MOVING! LOL!!
Thanks Craig, for everything.
)
Kindest regards,
Lia Halsall
http://www.liahalsall.com
Hi Craig,
I have quite a few comments on this subject!
First of all, and I didn’t hear the radio article in question, but I am guessing that the discussion was about Laparoscopic Gastric Banding (following the article by Assoc Prof John Dixon), not the gastric bypass surgery, which is the older style irreversible surgery much more prone to difficult problems and side effects.
I work in the gastric lap-banding industry, and I have to say the results can be phenomenal. They are not always, and the final outcome in my opinion does seem to depend, not solely on the surgery, but more importantly on the patients (Yes!) willingness and ability to change. Change their mindset, change their habits and use the band as a tool to assist in eating less, while they concentrate on eating quality nutritious foods and exercising more. These people do fantastically well. The lapband is a tool, not a brain transplant, and some people use that tool wisely, some use any excuse to avoid using it at all (the mars bar milkshakes come to mind.)
My final point is about the incredibly emotive “my taxes are paying for this” argument. If we did a cost benefit analysis of the two options, I am sure we would find that our taxes are much better spent paying for the operation. Don’t forget that we as taxpayers pay for all the complications of untreated obesity – diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnoea, strokes, arthritis, joint replacements, increased incidence of cancers etc etc etc. The costs of maintaining health in morbidly obese people far, far, far, outweighs the cost of the operation. Not to mention the other side of the equation of maintaining these same people in productive employment, leading happier, more mobile and comfortable lives.
Best wishes,
Caro
Heard the ABC program – and well i smiled. i ‘listened to your silence’ providing the ‘such well informed’ person to demonstrate his ‘toolness’. Is that a word – well yes its a jspism…..I wonder what he thinks of exercising in water?
Hi Everybody – thanks for sharing your thoughts – sorry about my absence – crazy busy…
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