Comments on: Your Turn to Teach: Is This all There is? http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/ Personal Development Life Lessons Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:12:29 +1000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Sandy http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-2/#comment-18868 Sandy Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:42:15 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18868 I used to wonder if this was all there was. Then one day in the middle of my life being a shamble I received a gift from God, the Holy Spirit, who taught me to live my life with conviction. I was always one to stand up for what I believe but I was living my life for my own pleasure. Now I live my life for the Lord and do His will and not my own. I have a purpose and that is to make this a better world for all and not just my self or my family. When i get off track all I have to do is remember that I am loved unconditionaly by God and what other people think of me is of no concern. We sometimes in life worry to much what others think of us and this can be a big problem as it can make you become very shallow, and let others determine who we are. Stand up for what you believe in and remember that there is an eternal life and that's what we all have to look forward to if you will just believe. When I enter the Kingdom of God I want Him to tell me, job well done!!! Love to all, Sandy I used to wonder if this was all there was. Then one day in the middle of my life being a shamble I received a gift from God, the Holy Spirit, who taught me to live my life with conviction. I was always one to stand up for what I believe but I was living my life for my own pleasure. Now I live my life for the Lord and do His will and not my own. I have a purpose and that is to make this a better world for all and not just my self or my family. When i get off track all I have to do is remember that I am loved unconditionaly by God and what other people think of me is of no concern. We sometimes in life worry to much what others think of us and this can be a big problem as it can make you become very shallow, and let others determine who we are. Stand up for what you believe in and remember that there is an eternal life and that’s what we all have to look forward to if you will just believe. When I enter the Kingdom of God I want Him to tell me, job well done!!!

Love to all, Sandy

]]> By: Tweets that mention Your Turn to Teach: Is This all There is? -- Topsy.com http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-2/#comment-18760 Tweets that mention Your Turn to Teach: Is This all There is? -- Topsy.com Sat, 06 Feb 2010 22:54:31 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18760 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Corinne Edwards and Craig Harper, Free Personal Dev. Free Personal Dev said: Your Turn to Teach: Is This all There is?: http://bit.ly/aag7j7 [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Corinne Edwards and Craig Harper, Free Personal Dev. Free Personal Dev said: Your Turn to Teach: Is This all There is?: http://bit.ly/aag7j7 [...]

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18725 Anonymous Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:39:53 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18725 A question I have been asking myself recently is "What is the point?". Being similar to "Is this all there is?" I found myself drawn to comment as you are when something appears to be speaking just to you. I admit to periods of depression and negative thoughts and have been focusing on these of late. While on the outside I could be defined as having a successful life on the inside I experience feelings of discontent and lack of motivation. It is in these moments I ponder the point of life. I recently read an article from a woman who had a positive perspective of depression. Rare in these days when depression is feared and rarely talked about as a means to an end. This woman expressed gratitude for her periods of depression as they were a signal to her that all was not to her liking. A message from her subconscious that there was something in her life that she was not content with. It is an uplifting notion because it places depression and these questions in a positive light, one when your sub conscious mind spurs you on with a message that there is more, because you want more. If you have never pondered "Is this all there is?" then you have never wanted more. I am endeavouring not to be afraid or judgmental when my mind throws up these questions, as I have been in the past, because they used to be a signal of another impending bout of depression and I am now seeing them as my mind awakening and letting me know that now is the moment to approach the next phase of my journey. Now is the time that the next step may be taken. It is not a judgment that things are not how they should be or I am not as good as I should be ( all judgements). They are a celebration of the reaching of another phase, another level, another path because I will not believe that any human being would answer "yes, this is all there is" with happiness in their heart because it is human nature to want and it is human nature to wonder and I relish that. Gidge A question I have been asking myself recently is “What is the point?”. Being similar to “Is this all there is?” I found myself drawn to comment as you are when something appears to be speaking just to you. I admit to periods of depression and negative thoughts and have been focusing on these of late. While on the outside I could be defined as having a successful life on the inside I experience feelings of discontent and lack of motivation. It is in these moments I ponder the point of life. I recently read an article from a woman who had a positive perspective of depression. Rare in these days when depression is feared and rarely talked about as a means to an end. This woman expressed gratitude for her periods of depression as they were a signal to her that all was not to her liking. A message from her subconscious that there was something in her life that she was not content with. It is an uplifting notion because it places depression and these questions in a positive light, one when your sub conscious mind spurs you on with a message that there is more, because you want more. If you have never pondered “Is this all there is?” then you have never wanted more. I am endeavouring not to be afraid or judgmental when my mind throws up these questions, as I have been in the past, because they used to be a signal of another impending bout of depression and I am now seeing them as my mind awakening and letting me know that now is the moment to approach the next phase of my journey. Now is the time that the next step may be taken. It is not a judgment that things are not how they should be or I am not as good as I should be ( all judgements). They are a celebration of the reaching of another phase, another level, another path because I will not believe that any human being would answer “yes, this is all there is” with happiness in their heart because it is human nature to want and it is human nature to wonder and I relish that.

Gidge

]]> By: Ingrid http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18705 Ingrid Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:03:52 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18705 I think it's normal to have those "is this all there is?" moments once in a while. What I think is important to work through them is to have goals in each of the different areas of your life to work and life towards; things that make you excited to wake-up in the morning. If you have just one area in life that you "live in", it's easy to get in a rut. The different areas I'm thinking of are: (1) professional life: You need to be ehthousiastic about the contents of your job, not just about the money you earn with it (if for some reason this is not possible: you might find your passion in a hobby or in voluntaring for a good cause). (2) family life can bring alot of fulfilment. Even if you don't have a partner or kids, you can focus on your extended family. (3) spiritual life: for some people religion assures them that there is more than what they experience in the here and now. For others it's a life philosophy that gives them a larger focus, like a Bouddist friend of mine who regularly meets up with her friends to meditate, or a cousin of mine who is the chairman and founder of a chain of schools for orphans in Nepal. (4) health and wellbeing: as Craig points out so often, we can set goals concerning getting into shape. I'm also thinking of preparing for participating in a sports event, ... (5) Continuous education: there are always chances to learn something new and interesting, whether it's pertaining to your job, a hobby, learning a new language to use on your travels, learning to cook or ballroom dance, etc. I think if someone can work towards a goal in each of life's areas (there are probably still others that I didn't think of) then life will never get into a rut. If you get the "is this all there is?" feeling in one of lives areas, I'm sure the goals you have in the other life areas will get you through the moment. Life is too short to take it for granted. Love your work, Craig! Ingrid I think it’s normal to have those “is this all there is?” moments once in a while. What I think is important to work through them is to have goals in each of the different areas of your life to work and life towards; things that make you excited to wake-up in the morning. If you have just one area in life that you “live in”, it’s easy to get in a rut. The different areas I’m thinking of are: (1) professional life: You need to be ehthousiastic about the contents of your job, not just about the money you earn with it (if for some reason this is not possible: you might find your passion in a hobby or in voluntaring for a good cause). (2) family life can bring alot of fulfilment. Even if you don’t have a partner or kids, you can focus on your extended family. (3) spiritual life: for some people religion assures them that there is more than what they experience in the here and now. For others it’s a life philosophy that gives them a larger focus, like a Bouddist friend of mine who regularly meets up with her friends to meditate, or a cousin of mine who is the chairman and founder of a chain of schools for orphans in Nepal. (4) health and wellbeing: as Craig points out so often, we can set goals concerning getting into shape. I’m also thinking of preparing for participating in a sports event, … (5) Continuous education: there are always chances to learn something new and interesting, whether it’s pertaining to your job, a hobby, learning a new language to use on your travels, learning to cook or ballroom dance, etc.
I think if someone can work towards a goal in each of life’s areas (there are probably still others that I didn’t think of) then life will never get into a rut. If you get the “is this all there is?” feeling in one of lives areas, I’m sure the goals you have in the other life areas will get you through the moment. Life is too short to take it for granted.
Love your work, Craig!
Ingrid

]]> By: Sue from Melbourne http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18696 Sue from Melbourne Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:36:28 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18696 I love this blog.....Craig you and your many readers and contributors have taught me so much over the past 18 months that I have been reading your site. I really lived in my own little world and thoughts and gave very little time to viewing things from a different perspective. I thought that I was a pretty good listener and friend to those I hold dear, but I have "learnt" so much more from everyone who comments. I have also learnt much about myself and how selfish I really was. I am finally taking responsibility for my thoughts and myself and loving the lessons I'm learning. I often used to ask "is this all there is", now I smile at what I have and love being who I am.... for me it is "my change in attitude". Thank you :) Sue I love this blog…..Craig you and your many readers and contributors have taught me so much over the past 18 months that I have been reading your site. I really lived in my own little world and thoughts and gave very little time to viewing things from a different perspective. I thought that I was a pretty good listener and friend to those I hold dear, but I have “learnt” so much more from everyone who comments. I have also learnt much about myself and how selfish I really was. I am finally taking responsibility for my thoughts and myself and loving the lessons I’m learning.
I often used to ask “is this all there is”, now I smile at what I have and love being who I am…. for me it is “my change in attitude”.
Thank you :)
Sue

]]> By: Michael http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18687 Michael Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:59:58 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18687 Well written Jo, made me feel much better today. Well written Jo, made me feel much better today.

]]> By: Jo http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18683 Jo Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:55:41 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18683 Hi. Don't know if you're still accepting comments on the last post but .... one of my favourite quotes is "Life's a journey, not a destination". After an initial 'high' from achieving a goal, depressed thoughts often follow (like what Helen & Christina describe) and the "is that all there is" idea of the post. I find it's good to have and work towards goals but if you're dependent on them (or someone else) for your 'happiness' not everyone will find (or keep) it there. If you work on loving whatever your situation, work, partner, etc. is, you will find more contentment with what you have rather than constantly 'seeking more'. The work I do can be very difficult and very challenging but I like to focus on the positives it gives me - I feel privileged to be allowed to help other people, I get to learn new stuff every day and I have more flexibility in when I work (mostly around school hours whilst my only, teenage child still wants to talk to his Mum). If you pin your happiness on 'achieving' things, that can be the path to psychological stress (distress). Being 'mindful' (read: more conscious?) and grateful (I have a diary that has space every day to write down what I am grateful for) and taking pleasure in simple things (as suggested earlier) can be excellent for reaching contentment. Hi. Don’t know if you’re still accepting comments on the last post but ….
one of my favourite quotes is “Life’s a journey, not a destination”. After an initial ‘high’ from achieving a goal, depressed thoughts often follow (like what Helen & Christina describe) and the “is that all there is” idea of the post. I find it’s good to have and work towards goals but if you’re dependent on them (or someone else) for your ‘happiness’ not everyone will find (or keep) it there. If you work on loving whatever your situation, work, partner, etc. is, you will find more contentment with what you have rather than constantly ’seeking more’. The work I do can be very difficult and very challenging but I like to focus on the positives it gives me – I feel privileged to be allowed to help other people, I get to learn new stuff every day and I have more flexibility in when I work (mostly around school hours whilst my only, teenage child still wants to talk to his Mum). If you pin your happiness on ‘achieving’ things, that can be the path to psychological stress (distress). Being ‘mindful’ (read: more conscious?) and grateful (I have a diary that has space every day to write down what I am grateful for) and taking pleasure in simple things (as suggested earlier) can be excellent for reaching contentment.

]]> By: Michael http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18675 Michael Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:52:28 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18675 HEY I didn't get a go you mean bunch :) * Why do you think you (periodically) feel this way? Life telling us to do something. * Do you feel this way often? Not really but I had a bad one at work today when I realised I only have 30 years more or less to go before returning home - i.e. the big D (that's death) * Does feeling this way mean something is missing in our lives? It can but not for me * Where do these feelings come from? The mind * What have you learned? Oh S**t help! * What did(do) you do about it? Pushed it away * Do we look for answers, meaning and purpose in the wrong places? Yes when we look to another person to make us happy, we discussed that a week or so ago * Could it be a spiritual void? No just a human void in eternity we might be everything and do everything, don't know but we will find ou ;) * Do you think we need to change (1) us (2) the situation (3) both (4) something else (5) nothing? Us or the blogs we read (that was mean ;) HEY I didn’t get a go you mean bunch :)

* Why do you think you (periodically) feel this way?
Life telling us to do something.

* Do you feel this way often?
Not really but I had a bad one at work today when I realised I only have 30 years more or less to go before returning home – i.e. the big D (that’s death)

* Does feeling this way mean something is missing in our lives?
It can but not for me

* Where do these feelings come from?
The mind

* What have you learned?

Oh S**t help!
* What did(do) you do about it?

Pushed it away
* Do we look for answers, meaning and purpose in the wrong places?

Yes when we look to another person to make us happy, we discussed that a week or so ago

* Could it be a spiritual void?

No just a human void in eternity we might be everything and do everything, don’t know but we will find ou ;)

* Do you think we need to change (1) us (2) the situation (3) both (4) something else (5) nothing?

Us or the blogs we read (that was mean ;)

]]> By: Craig http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18669 Craig Wed, 03 Feb 2010 08:33:26 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18669 Hi Guys - great work today. Thanks for taking the time and the energy to share from the heart. Very honest and brave. A big Hi to Megan, Jen, d, Flip and any other Newbies that I may have missed - group hug ( ) Flip - loved your revelation and insight. Robyn - you too. If you two ladies can email your postal details I'll get Johnnie to send you a copy of Fattitude (or a training diary if you'd prefer) :) Hi Guys – great work today. Thanks for taking the time and the energy to share from the heart. Very honest and brave.

A big Hi to Megan, Jen, d, Flip and any other Newbies that I may have missed – group hug ( )

Flip – loved your revelation and insight.
Robyn – you too.
If you two ladies can email your postal details I’ll get Johnnie to send you a copy of Fattitude (or a training diary if you’d prefer) :)

]]> By: Flip http://www.craigharper.com.au/personal-development-life-lessons/your-turn-to-teach-is-this-all-there-is/comment-page-1/#comment-18668 Flip Wed, 03 Feb 2010 07:51:58 +0000 http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=4054#comment-18668 Ok, so I am one of those "lurkers" that you mention on a periodic basis (just as a side note, I really enjoy reading your emails and hope you one day head to Perth). Anyway, on this occasion I felt compelled to write in for the first time because "is this all there is" was a question that frequently popped up for me, usually accompanied by a feeling of blind panic which subsides only when rational thought kicks in! I am writing this at work, off the cuff, so hopefully my rambling will make sense by the time I get to the end. I think the kicker for me came the day that my primary focus stopped being an "aspirational" one. Basically, for years I had had my eye on some prize in the distance – a uni degree, the “perfect” job. For years I figured I’d be happy when I reached whatever achievement I had set as my goal and worked and worked and worked. Then – shock horror – a couple of years into the perfect job and I realised I wasn’t happy. In fact, sometimes I hated it with a passion. I then got to thinking about all the things I “could have” and “should have” done with my life – all the alternative careers I’ve probably missed out on, the travels I never undertook, the other places I could be living – things I could have pursued if I hadn’t made work my sole focus. I started thinking about change and it all seemed overwhelmingly hard. Here’s an example: God, I’m sick of living in a share house – I wish I could afford a place of my own. Damn, I don’t earn enough money for a place of my own. Maybe I should jack it in and go travelling and live a fabulous, artistic life on the road. Hmm, can’t do that because I have to pay the mortgage. And I have no savings because money is tight. Maybe I should move to Melbourne. Oh, but Melbourne is too cold and the job market is tight. I should stay put – that’s the most sensible thing. I should move – but I don’t want to take on a new lease so I’m not locked in if I do decide to move. So I guess I have to stay where I am. God, that means staying at my job. And my house. Argh. And so on. This endless “grass would be greener if … if … if” syndrome is exhausting. It’s a catch 22 – my terror about leading a mediocre life had me constantly fantasising about life could have and should have been, obliterating all the wonderful things about my life in its wake. It had me constantly craving more money, a better job, a better wardrobe, a better LIFE! It also inspired considerable guilt – after all, my life is not that bad. I have all my limbs and my faculties. I am healthy, and smart. And yet I focus on all the attributes and possessions and lifestyle I don’t have, which results in misery, not joy. I see this all the time among my friends and family. So many of us are unhappy with the lot we feel we have been dealt in life. We want more money, more beauty, an easier job, the adoration of our peers. A spiritual void is a perfect way to describe it. We idolise our reflection and the perfect world beamed at us through magazines, television screens and social networking. We are never satisfied. I constantly encounter people who worship consumerism over their fellow man and would sacrifice a life to save their flatscreen TV. I started to shudder when I went into giant megalithic shopping malls which encourage gluttonous consumption of food, clothing, whitegoods and entertainment. We have spent so much time attending to our outsides, filling the void with stuff, that our insides are empty. I have decided to eliminate those things which I feel have contributed to my own sense of unhappiness and review the things that are important to me. First to go is the bad attitude – yep, suck it up princess, you don’t have all the things you crave but guess what – you have a roof over your head, a full belly most of the time and the ability to pay your bills. A hell of a lot more than most people on the planet have. I have also decided to give myself less excuses to be self-critical. I don’t like the roll of fat on my tummy, so I have been to the gym almost every day for six weeks. I don’t like feeling maudlin about life, so I have cut out alcohol altogether. I want to go travelling, so I have set aside money from each pay to fund that (it’s going to take months, but I’ll get there in the end). I check myself constantly to remind myself that I am achieving well in my career, right where I am, and that I have the love and support of wonderful friends. Is this all there is? Well, it might be for now. But chances are, if I believe in change and believe in myself enough to effect that change, there’s a good chance there’s a whole lot more out there to discover. And I intend to find it! Ok, so I am one of those “lurkers” that you mention on a periodic basis (just as a side note, I really enjoy reading your emails and hope you one day head to Perth). Anyway, on this occasion I felt compelled to write in for the first time because “is this all there is” was a question that frequently popped up for me, usually accompanied by a feeling of blind panic which subsides only when rational thought kicks in! I am writing this at work, off the cuff, so hopefully my rambling will make sense by the time I get to the end.
I think the kicker for me came the day that my primary focus stopped being an “aspirational” one. Basically, for years I had had my eye on some prize in the distance – a uni degree, the “perfect” job. For years I figured I’d be happy when I reached whatever achievement I had set as my goal and worked and worked and worked. Then – shock horror – a couple of years into the perfect job and I realised I wasn’t happy. In fact, sometimes I hated it with a passion.
I then got to thinking about all the things I “could have” and “should have” done with my life – all the alternative careers I’ve probably missed out on, the travels I never undertook, the other places I could be living – things I could have pursued if I hadn’t made work my sole focus. I started thinking about change and it all seemed overwhelmingly hard. Here’s an example: God, I’m sick of living in a share house – I wish I could afford a place of my own. Damn, I don’t earn enough money for a place of my own. Maybe I should jack it in and go travelling and live a fabulous, artistic life on the road. Hmm, can’t do that because I have to pay the mortgage. And I have no savings because money is tight. Maybe I should move to Melbourne. Oh, but Melbourne is too cold and the job market is tight. I should stay put – that’s the most sensible thing. I should move – but I don’t want to take on a new lease so I’m not locked in if I do decide to move. So I guess I have to stay where I am. God, that means staying at my job. And my house. Argh. And so on.
This endless “grass would be greener if … if … if” syndrome is exhausting. It’s a catch 22 – my terror about leading a mediocre life had me constantly fantasising about life could have and should have been, obliterating all the wonderful things about my life in its wake. It had me constantly craving more money, a better job, a better wardrobe, a better LIFE! It also inspired considerable guilt – after all, my life is not that bad. I have all my limbs and my faculties. I am healthy, and smart. And yet I focus on all the attributes and possessions and lifestyle I don’t have, which results in misery, not joy.
I see this all the time among my friends and family. So many of us are unhappy with the lot we feel we have been dealt in life. We want more money, more beauty, an easier job, the adoration of our peers. A spiritual void is a perfect way to describe it. We idolise our reflection and the perfect world beamed at us through magazines, television screens and social networking. We are never satisfied. I constantly encounter people who worship consumerism over their fellow man and would sacrifice a life to save their flatscreen TV. I started to shudder when I went into giant megalithic shopping malls which encourage gluttonous consumption of food, clothing, whitegoods and entertainment. We have spent so much time attending to our outsides, filling the void with stuff, that our insides are empty.
I have decided to eliminate those things which I feel have contributed to my own sense of unhappiness and review the things that are important to me. First to go is the bad attitude – yep, suck it up princess, you don’t have all the things you crave but guess what – you have a roof over your head, a full belly most of the time and the ability to pay your bills. A hell of a lot more than most people on the planet have. I have also decided to give myself less excuses to be self-critical. I don’t like the roll of fat on my tummy, so I have been to the gym almost every day for six weeks. I don’t like feeling maudlin about life, so I have cut out alcohol altogether. I want to go travelling, so I have set aside money from each pay to fund that (it’s going to take months, but I’ll get there in the end). I check myself constantly to remind myself that I am achieving well in my career, right where I am, and that I have the love and support of wonderful friends.
Is this all there is? Well, it might be for now. But chances are, if I believe in change and believe in myself enough to effect that change, there’s a good chance there’s a whole lot more out there to discover. And I intend to find it!

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