Before we get under way with today’s post…
Craig’s Blog Goes Mobile
We’ve had a bunch of requests from readers who want to be able to read my latest blog posts and comments from the convenience of their mobile (cell) phone. Well, now it’s possible. You can now read my latest posts on the train, plane, in the crapper (boys) or at your local cafe using a new mobile-friendly format that displays my posts and comments (only) without all of the other unnecessary ‘website stuff’. In other words, your screen won’t be devoured by the entire home page, only the post itself will be displayed.
How to access posts via your phone:
1 . Log-on to the internet using your mobile (cell) phone’s internet browser
2. Google www.craigharper.com.au
3. Click on the first listing, Craig Harper – Motivational Speaker
4. You will then be provided with a list of my Latest Blog Posts and comments.
5. Enjoy!
On wif de show…
Your Turn to Teach; Getting Back on the Horse
For people who are new to this site, you may not know that once a week I hand over my white board, laser pointer, keyboard and coach’s whistle to you, the readers. It’s the day of the week when I take a back seat and throw out a topic for your consideration, exploration, discussion and periodically, debate. Healthy, friendly debate.
Natch.
Today’s subject is relevant for the majority of us because, while we’re all committed to self-improvement and life-long learning (aren’t we?), when it comes to creating our best reality (body, relationships, spiritual life, head-space, emotional state, career, bank balance, lifestyle, whatever…), many of us seem to have been starting and stopping a range of endeavours (programs, diets, courses, processes, etc.) for ever. Only to wake up and find ourselves back at the starting line. Over and over again. Creating and maintaining positive change in our world is indeed one of the biggest challenges of the human experience. Getting results can be a tough gig but keeping them can be tougher. Take a look around; we’re pretty good at the starting bit, not so good at the getting-the-job-done-forever bit.
So our questions de jour are:
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again?
3. How do we make our ‘sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours?
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)?
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done?
… or you can come up with some questions of your own. As always, feel free to comment on each other’s thoughts, ideas and suggestions and make this discussion as interactive as you like. As I always say, there’s no right or wrong with discussions such as this, only different opinions.
Enjoy your weekend Team and…
GO SAINTS!
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Who are these people who ALWAYS get the job done right? I want to meet them. Maybe I can copy them.
I literally fell off a horse and fractured and dislocated my arm when I was around 14 years old. I got back on and had lessons when I was in my 30s. It was scary, yet exhilirating and now I ride at least once a year on school camp. What got me back in the saddle was a crush on a guy, but it turns out that whilst the guy thing didn’t work, it has been a useful fear to overcome because I have to do it now and being afraid would be not very useful. Such is life.
ps Craig/Johnny, I need that email about quote for speaking at school as discussed last school holidays:-)
First go the Cats
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
Try and try again.
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again?
Don’t pretend it does not hurt and go for it, if you can’t do it you can’t do it.
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours?
Persistance.
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)?
Life will hit us over the head until we get it, if we ever do.
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done?
They support Geelong not St Kilda
Now, serious, re last question, sheer persistance and not listening to people who stop them from going where they are going and acheiving, because the world is full of those that take your dreams away. You may let them, but they do try.
Oh and Craig:
Go cats
Hey Craig !!
“1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?”
Well, I’m a Collingwood supporter, so that would explain that one !!
But for Saturday, I’m a Cat, in honour of my dear late Dad.
I was totally rapt today when I opened my mail and found a thank you note from your Mum. It was so sweet of her to take the time to do that… thank you Mary… and continuing good wishes for your very speedy recovery.
{{HUG}}
Tina
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
I actually think life is more about always getting back on (some call it always showing up), so learning how to get back on is much more important than staying on. Something will always come up to interrupt your perfect plan, but the important thing is starting over the next day (or the next minute…), which brings us to
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again? This is the hardest part of getting back on. It’s so much easier to sit on the ground and feel sorry for ourselves or berate ourselves or blame others that we forget that what we really want is simply to stand back up and get back on. So we need to always consider what we really want, not just what feels good or right at the moment. Somewhere I read this quote from Paulo Coelho (who wrote _The Alchemist_, among others): “…when we are living our dream, the difficulties we encounter make sense.”
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours? The one, all-important behaviour we should strive for all the time is getting back on. Just getting back on. And getting back on again. Oops! Time to get back on. It’s like meditation, I guess.
I found the key to getting back on the horse is to find a training buddy. Whether that is a like minded friend, training group or personal trainer it doesnt’ matter, as long as you set a regular time and date to meet each other it helps you stay on that horse.
Consistently having a goal is my other tip. If you’ve reached your first goal, IMMEDIATELY set another goal. I learnt that the hard way. I completed my first Gold Coast 1/2 marathon a few years back and didn’t set myself another goal so my hard training went backwards. After a year re living the 21km jog I realised I couldn’t even run 5km without nearly dying. Back on the horse I retrained for that 1/2 marathon and each year when I finish the fun run I set myself another goal to make sure I keep going.
Who are th Saints??? GO BRONCOS
Firslty congratulations on your teams efforts to get mobile.. that is AWESOME!
So to the questions… How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
Or maybe what if you never knew you were riding a horse and feel hard.. HOW ? Through sheer determination, pain and trust (i feel almost guilty saying this last bit as it is not my entire truth at present).
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again?
Well for me I supose this is acceptance that maybe it wont ever happen but at least this reality is better than death… so I ask myself how hard is it really to get up every day and just do it… even if it is not the “magnificence’ you thought you could achieve, this then brings me to basic gratitude… gratitiude just to be able to breathe…
As far as attitude is concerned .. just have a good one as the reality is what it is!
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours?
In regards to this the obvious answer is repitiion but I havent yet mastered this in entirety so cant really comment.. am coming more to the realisation that it is more rest for me…
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)? Look I dont know as to be honest 6 mths ago I believed you got what you put out and did but to be honest this is NOT the case in my life at present .. am totally lost here now, nothing makes sense… I cant do any better! and I hate that!
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done? Personally I dont know any.. the only ones I see that do in areas.. lack in many others or are so god damn selfish that I wouldnt want to be what they are anyway.. But if I am to take a recent learning look after me, I cant do it for them, they cant do it for me I am just a pawn to them… so I must now see them the same! (as i write that I hate myself)
Anyway – at the end of the day you just keep riding regardless… after all it is not about how many times you fall ..but how many times you get back up!
Failure is NOT getting back up !
Oh, man! That would be you, Craig. You’ve really hit the nail on the head this time. Read this last night but wanted to really give this some consideration before adding my usual two-bob’s worth. And not to simply sprout some philosophical crap that I don’t actually follow! Nope, very much time for truth and soul-searching here.
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
Firstly, I accept that I probably won’t. Stay on, I mean. But I do make sure that my falls are less and less bad. That I get back on that horse with minimal damage. I set myself “panic points” – and I’m talking with regards my diet and consequently weight (yes, Craig, I mean body fat, not simply scale weight). I’m finding it’s helping enormously to have goals that DRIVE where I want to be fitness and physique-wise, but aren’t simply those goals alone. My karate development and performance, I mean. To improve in that arena, I HAVE to be fit, trim, strong, fast and flexible.
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again?
I use those feelings to instill in myself how much I DON’T want to go there again. I continually remind myself how much I want what it is I’m working toward, and what I’m prepared to do to achieve it. I have a steely determination, probably from being a rebellious shit all my life. But when I fall, I refuse to give up. I grit my teeth and think, “you won’t bloody well beat me. I’ll beat you.” Also, thinking about the alternative – giving up – and what that looks like. Is what I need to do to get back on the horse harder than living like that? Hell, no!
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours?
By remembering where I don’t want to be again. By enjoying the good feelings from doing what needs to be done. By giving myself positive reinforcement rewards – for example, new clothes for a svelte body rather than chocolate. By picturing myself as one of those people that just gets the job done and makes their life look easy and gifted – and by understanding that that image comes from work and consistency and good habits.
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)?
Be honest with myself. Truly question my habits and be prepared to let them go. Work consistently toward establishing new (better) ones. By gaining inspiration from others who have succeeded where I want to, and asking why. Seeing what it is that they are doing differently from me.
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done?
Recognise that they’re not “lucky”. That I can take the qualities they utilise and apply them to our my situation. And I can see what it looks like to be one of those people and take inspiration from that for myself to also achieve it – I have an image of what it looks like.
After my success at the State Titles last weekend and with a possible grading looming next week, my karate has boosted my inspiration and determination yet again. I’m back on the horse. And with minimal damage to repair from my last fall, I’m pleased to say. But I don’t want to simply get “back” to where I was. No, it’s time to push even further forward now. To set a whole new level of “normal” for me.
Have an awesome weekend, everyone! Go the Saints!
Suz
xx
Be honest with myself. Truly question my habits and be prepared to let them go. Work consistently toward establishing new (better) ones. By gaining inspiration from others who have succeeded where I want to, and asking why. Seeing what it is that they are doing differently from me.
I get the feeling some of you have meant this to be about physical training, I took this post to be about head stuff. The above is what I was discussing with my friend last night. I lost a wonderful friendship due to others interference and that statement above is wonderful, so true. Work towards new ways of interacting to make sure this never happens again.
Oh and go Cats
and Broncos
Michael – you’re right; I was talking more about physical training than the head stuff. But when I re-read my answers with regards forward growth and development of my head stuff, most of them still hold true. And what I’ve also found that my head stuff progresses better when I’m doing positive things in the physical world.
Kate – don’t look for someone that embodies EVERYTHING you aspire to. Just look at that specific area where someone is doing it right and take that from them to help teach yourself. Then add all those bits together.
Wow… talk about asking great questions… it’s taken me a while to get a hold on these things… way too long, but better late than never… I don’t know what works for everyone else, but here’s what works for me….
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
I had to take control of ‘falling off the horse’… When I was going all-out nothing but 100% healthy food, crazy work-outs, full-time school, full-time mom, full-time work, it was just too much. I didn’t fall of the horse… she kicked me off! REPEATEDLY AND PAINFULLY! But if I slow down to a trot, find a comfortable pace, where I’m making steady improvement and not stretching myself physically and emotionally too thin, I can choose when I step off the horse to walk for a while, and before I indulge in a lazy night in front of the TV or a tiny piece of cheese cake, I’ve already noted in my head, that it is a temporary thing, and after the show/slice, I’m back on the horse, feeling great. I realize that one little naughty moment cannot set me back the 22 pounds I’ve lost so far… it’s not a set back at all. For me, it was all about moderation.
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again? Say… to heck with it… and just keep going. No one is perfect. Perfect is annoying. Messy is fun, exciting, sexy, and gives you room to grow!
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviors?
Again … Moderation. If you are working out for 2 hours a day and sacrificing things you love, your routine will never last.
-It’s all about finding the right fit for me. Finding something that can fit in my schedule without taking time away from family, sleeping, school, romance… you have to be able to come up with a routine that you can honestly and REALISTICALLY see yourself following through on… if you have to give up or rush through snuggling with your baby and reading bedtime stories or watching your favorite comedy in your honey’s arms at the end of a very long day, it just won’t last.
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)?
For me, it was figuring out exactly what I was doing wrong, and literally asking myself, how can I make sure it doesn’t happen again. Then I brainwashed myself! I had to repeat my new behaviors (daily exercise, small portion sizes and calorie awareness) until it became as natural as breathing… now I can’t fix my dinner plate in those old heaping mounds… it just looks stupid. It’s a plate, not a trough!
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done? –
That they are people that do what hurts… they go just a little bit farther than is comfortable… they try a little harder… they are not lazy… they abhor lazy… realize what they do and then you have to go do that… go to the pain and then go THROUGH it… we are capable of so much more than we can imagine. We can go on long after it hurts. This applies to everything… working out, teaching distracted kids, working with difficult people, studying, birth… etc… etc… Learn to love the pain because it is the crazy journey, and the only way to get, to your dreams… “The heights by great men reached and kept Were not attained by sudden flight, But they, while their companions slept, Were toiling upward in the night.”-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
peace…
I think every time I fall off the horse I’m learning something about myself that I can use to up the odds that I’ll stay on longer next time. I agree that setting new goals can be a big motivator, but there are truly times that I can’t do anything at all to convince myself to get back on the horse. It’s too comfortable on the ground staring at the sky and daydreaming and maybe taking a little nap while I’m there.
But at some point you have to grit your teeth, forgive yourself for lying on the ground, and just get up. And when it’s a struggle, sometimes I tell myself to just do it for a week, a day, or even the next few minutes (whether it’s being more productive, trying harder in my relationships, making healthy food choices, or exercising). And often I soon discover that I really like being on the horse better than I like hanging out on the ground. It feels better and makes me happier.
As I am at work and should be doing other things at the moment:) all i wanted to say also craig is GO SAINTAS!!!!
Great answers, Tif.
Hi Suz – thank you for your comments they are really very helpful.
Craig – is it possible for you to post your answer to Q.3 – I would really love to know..
Hi Suz & Michael,
Actually Michael I am really greedy so yes I am also referring to head the head stuff at present mine is full of hatred but yet I know this is just a trick so all I can do at the moment is breathe…
Ah suz, amazing – Keep kicking them high – I do relate in an RPM way .. wishing i was so much better.
Kate
Hi Everyone – great work so far.
Diana, because you asked so nicely, I will answer your question briefly. (Q.3) – the only one for today
For our ’sometimes’ behaviours to become ‘all-the-time’ behaviours, there must be a significant internal shift. That is, a permanent emotional and psychological transformation. I’ll say it again – PERMANENT!!! Our behaviours (and therefore our results) are merely a by-product of what’s happening between our ears.
On some level, the vast majority of us don’t actually expect to succeed with our goals and that’s a big part of the problem. We hope but we don’t expect.
Does the guy who starts a new weight-loss regime today (attempt number 457), truly believe (on a subconscious level) that his life (eating, exercise, health, body-fat level, habits, behaviours, results) will be totally different from this day forth? No. Of course not. Does he have the potential to change? Yep. The mindset? Nope.
Until this guy makes the relevant (life-changing) behaviours TOTALLY NON-NEGOTIABLE he will continue to find himself back at the starting line because consciously or not, intentionally or not, those required behaviours and habits (the ones necessary to create forever results) are optional (for him). Yep, the diet guy always gives himself an escape clause.
When something is TOTALLY non-negotiable our choice (to throw in the towel yet again) is taken away from us. Making certain behaviours non-negotiable removes things like motivation, mood, difficulty and attitude from the equation.
The life-long smoker who ‘can’t’ give up cigarettes is told by the doctor that if he continues to smoke he will be dead within twelve months. He walks out of the doctors office terrified and never smokes again. Why? Because his desire to live is stronger than his desire to smoke. He experiences instant massive internal shift (as a result of speaking with the doctor) which results in smoking being permanently deleted from his list of potential ‘things-to-do’!
Diana, identify your non-negotiable behaviours and live a life that is a mirror image of those standards. Look for effective, not easy.
I hope this helps.
And no, it wasn’t brief…
OOOOH….new phone format is brill…..& go the Saints….. &…….sorry….not in chatty topic mode today
Thanks, Diana – glad my ditherings have occasional use!
Craig – very good answer. Gold star for you. For me, that internal demon is lack of self-worth. Where I get stuck is that my intellect can justify why I am a good person and why I deserve the life and environment and relationships that I seek, but my occasional self-sabotaging behaviours reek of my lack of self-worth. That for some reason I don’t feel that I DO deserve these things. Sure, I will continue to get back on the horse and do what I need to do, but I’m not perfect and I do slip up. (And thankfully, these slips are getting less frequent and less deep .. less painful falls.) My biggest struggle is actually being in touch with how I truly FEEL, and therefore being able to change it for the better. My intellect is all over me and I can’t seem to get past it. And while my intellect is pretty much all positive, it’s that nasty FEELING lurking beneath that kicks me in the butt when I slip. I just can’t seem to get past this one!
Sorry. Not brief either. But this is THE key issue in my world right now.
Suz,
“it’s that nasty FEELING lurking beneath that kicks me in the butt when I slip. I just can’t seem to get past this one!”
Oh yes you can… I found that giving myself permission to bash myself tomorrow seemed to work…as I dont suffer from that one anymore (use to big time) .. Tomorrow always comes Suz so bash yourself up then ..
No I suffer from a voice that actually says ‘god i hate you’ Ouch … cant believe I actually wrote it… now the only solution to this i think it to just breathe…
Hi, Craig – sometimes you worry me – how did you know that I have had 457 attempts !!!! – thank you I do understand what you are saying I just need to do it.
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
Falling off the horse it’s inevitable. I read somewhere (can’t remember where, sorry if I’ve stolen your quote), to succeed, you just have to get back up one more time then the number of times you fell.
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again?
Have a Plan B. If Plan A fails, you know you have a backup plan. It’s not the end of the world. Instead of feeling disappointed, use that energy towards Plan B. Like the saying, ‘No use crying over spilt milk’.
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours?
Make it a habit! How do we make it a habit? By doing it over and over again…..and over again!
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)?
First of all, you need to document your mistake. This is hard because this means confrontation for some people. But writing down your mistakes really helps you think about it, and come up with solutions for it, and how to avoid it in the future. I love my diary. It’s very honest with me.
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done?
I only know a few people who always get the job done (not me unfortunately). They seem to be very organised. They are also very determined, and solution-focused. Like Thomas Edison, “I did not fail. I just found 10 000 ways that doesn’t work”. That is the attitude we need!
I ain’t commentin’ till I get my daily joke (pout).
Starvin’ us?
Howdy all! Great reading: – ok, my thoughts are as per follows:
* HOW DO WE GET BACK ON THE HORSE AND STAY ONCE AND ALL?
Firstly make some longer term objectives. For me it can’t be 5 or 10 years but I have some dreams of possibilites that could be well on the way to realities by then if keep on track enough till then! I would advise to think/dream of some possibilities you would like in 5 to 10 years so you can consider the direction you would like to set goals toward.
It varies person to person but FOR ME LONG TERM is 6-12 months.
NEXT: make some goals in the long term vicinity you choose, me 6- 12 month goals). If you have a few troublsesome areas of life you want to drastically improve in I consider it best making improvement goals in all areas of life at once, not just one area as we don’t want addiction or problem transfer here!
FINALLY on focus majorly on the day at hand, (TODAY). Get the most that you can out of TODAY. When in bed that night mentally plan TOMORROW before we fall asleep. Lots less time consuming and more environmentally friendly than writing! If undesirable events take place it IS acceptable not to stick to our ultmtimate objectives but we MUST choose to keep CONTROL and embrace the reactions and actions we take to disturbed or unplanned events as they will continue to try and disturb us! I say live in the NOW, (today first, tomorrow second). Keep doing that in a controlled manner, plan and allow for the ‘controlled unexpected’ and occasionally gauge the progress toward long term dreams and all is on track! Long term controlled deviations for whatever reason aren’t so bad, it’s a loss of control all round!
* HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THE DISAPPOINTMENT & PAIN OF PREVIOUS FAILED ATTEMPTS & FIND THE ATTITUDE & ENERGY TO SADDLE UP YET AGAIN?
I say either decide NOW or set a START date in the very near future, (ie next Monday). Then decide on making some long term goals regarding what you want. Then set up a short term action plan and do your best at worrying about the day at hand/keeping to beliefs and control we are happy with rather than just dreaming where we will be in 6 or 12 months etc. Live in the NOW, not the future! To make things easier in this change process: – be sure to mostly commit to getting enough sleep and also to keeping possessions clean and organised.
I do know for one how horrible it is to get up to an alarm at 3.10am for work yawning and grumpy, after just flicking light in a quietening flat at 11.30pm, to see empty junkfood wrappers and sometimes empty alcohol bottles on the floor amongst used food plates and dirty clothes and paperwork on the floor and having to trod on everything in a dazed grumpy state to get anywhere! BAD start to day! I do know that I can AT LEAST make effort to put dirty clothes in a bag in wardrobe, file paperwork after use, wash dishes after use and throw out trash everyday even though I have a small room and limited space. To improve on that I could even pack gym bag before hitting bed and just make sure I tidy up whatever I use once I have finished. Even if it’s too noisy to sleep I could still get to bed mostly at least 7 hours before alarm is due to go off!
It IS long term behaviour change but we really only need to focus on ONE DAY AT A TIME, not perfection but control!
I will add I read some blogs which are unhelpful to my cause of change, they even ‘validate’ me short term with overspending, over-consuming alcohol and bingeing. But then I also read many others who have achieved forever change for once and all after years of out of control less desirable habits!
Each time I ‘try’ to ‘get up again’ I feel negative thinking along the lines of this is the 457th attempt, over it, why will this be different, no-one will believe me if I mention it etc etc while feeling more negative each time. I’m sure most who finally achieve forever change after many years go through this as well but their persistence eventually pays off.
HOW DO WE MAKE OUR SOMETIMES BEHAVIOURS ALL THE TIME BEHAVIOURS?
* Seriously, with all the possible theories, acceptable mindsets, acceptable views, possible different ways of ‘fixing’ probs be it hypnotherapy, counselling, life coaching when we can’t afford it, surgery etc, the belief it’s ‘OK to have a mental illness or even put things off’ we make it difficult for ourselves. I think we have come to accept the problems are more than they actually are and then they are shelved ‘temporarily’ are ‘too hard’ to fix basket. Many, (including me) I think have come to put change in the ‘too hard’ basket and don’t believe we can long term so re-trying again is put off till we are ‘magically’ more positive! Self sabotaging is suddenly OK till then!
What I think is get back to basics here. If we wanna stop smoking…………..stop smoking! (I don’t smoke so this may be harder than that). If we wanna lose weight………..make a plan to eat nutritiously, train and burn a few more calories than we consume! If we wanna save money…………….pay ourselves first on payday and make some type of budget to manage rest of money. If we wanna do some voluntary work and or learn a new skill, – do so! Don’t try and figure out all the possible things that COULD go wrong. When committed, daily make sure we act in a committed controlled manner we are happy with. But BELIEVE we can change 4 good, many have! It’s a DAY by DAY thing! Not talking of perfection each day, just control!
HOW DO WE ENSURE WE LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES?, – SOME OF US SEEM VERY DETERMINED TO KEEP DOING WHAT DOESN’T WORK!
I would say daily commitment! And personal acceptance of where we are each day and what our short and longer term aspirations are. Appreciating each day for what it is. Less thinking, more doing. Planning is good, but I think for many things day by day plans can be enough. Knowledge of the fact that the past doesn’t need to equal the future if we live in a controlled manner we are happy with? – what do we want more? To put things off and moan about it, till maybe we are unable to do so or being happy and content with living in align to what we want? If we decide on the first then we must decide to make peace with that and not moan!
* WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS GET THE JOB DONE?
It CAN be done. It takes commitment, not losing control. In many regards old habits can still be practised if we wish………….moderation and in conrol. These people keep organised, limit alcohol, (not give up often) to some degree, watch nutrition, stay committed to some training or savings regime and to other important goals they have. There is no easy way, just time and persistence and positive attitude and a level we need to stop at should we choose to indulge in something not to normal plan! KEEP ORGANISED, – just a day in advance, not weeks or months!
One thing I will add to this is what I consider the importance of enough change in all areas to be ‘above the yellow line, biggest loser talk’ so to speak. By that I mean firstly imagining a busy 82kg person with an active job and always on the go and training. Say they consume somewhere roughly between 1300-1700 cals a day, feel good and not deprived at all and on fire when ‘on track’. ‘Off track’ is bingeaholic zone! Say maybe on average 6000 cals can be consumed daily for a couple of months! More than 10kg are gained. Work and living still active but harder work and the intense trainings have ceased. Some may say it’s an ‘improvement’ to start by getting our binges averaging 5000 cals a day instead of 6000 cals. Yep, on paper it equals improvement , we may if lucky gain weight at a slightly slower rate but we are still heading backward! The same happens if ones income is say $600 a week but they have a pattern of spending $900 on average a week and accumulate well over $15000 debt a year. If they reduce spending to $800 a week it’s a slight improvement but one will still gain over $10000 debt in a year! So that is why I like big change, there needs to be enough improvement in all areas so we are on the ‘progress’ side of that yellow line in everything and I think at once so one habit isn’t transferred. Not perfect, but in progress area!
Also I will clarify, at some points it is possible to stagnate and take a break if we consider it acceptable, welcome and controlled. For example if one decides to enter a figure comp or get to triathlon shape they may decide they want a bit of a break after such a big lead up to an event. They may decide on a couple of weeks of just powerwalking for workouts and a holiday, – no bingeing but just holiday mode and still control. They may accept they may gain a kg or two but keep in control. Things similar to this are fine I think if controlled and we are OK about them!
Sorry for my ramble! Sometimes I just keep going on!!! Great reads by all! I just need to follow my advice now!
Pip
sometimes you gotta make sure the horse isn’t dead before trying to get back on it….
In other words, sometimes the goals we have in mind aren’t what we really want or value anymore, so it’s good to revisit why we want to get back on…
Hmmm, falling off the horse…..need to wear a good helmet!
My number one thing lately is keeping my head from getting in the way! I remember the baseball movie Bull Durham with Kevin Costner and Tim Robbins. Tim Robbins character – Luke LaRouche was overthinking his pitching to Kevin Costner’s catcher character. After Kevin Costner’s character tipped off the hitter to what pitch Luke was going to throw, he realized that he needed to stop overthinking things. “Don’t think, just throw”.
That’s my new mantra, but in a different way. “Stop thinking so much – just eat my daily allotment, exercise everyday and stop worrying about the day to day fluctuations.” The rest will take care of itself.
Consistency, persistence and eventually transformation.
Cheers!
- Steve in CA
Habit and persistence really helps with “staying on the horse.” I like the quote, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” That has helped me get back on track when I’ve encountered set-backs. I too, have had problems with self-worth issues . . . but another quote has come in handy, “Be your own best friend.” If you can’t love yourself, how can you truly love other people and maintain healthy relationships with them? If you can forgive others for their faults (and let’s face it, everyone has a few) why can’t you forgive yourself? If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you expect yourself to adequately care for others? Short term, sure. Long term, not so much. A long term mindset is what is required to successfully face the issues Craig has brought up.
And yes, when I first started standing up for myself, caring for myself, paying attention to my needs (and not in a selfish way, but in a sensible, smart way) I did encounter some snarkiness from friends and relatives. Was it worth it? YES! Absolutely.
‘Actually Michael I am really greedy so yes I am also referring to head the head stuff at present mine is full of hatred but yet I know this is just a trick so all I can do at the moment is breathe…
Serously Kate? Yes my head is full of contempt and distain for a lot of the human race at the moment. Yes it is argued on this blog foregiveness is necessary for our health. Yes it is a choice. But ATM it will not shift, so taking this blog posting’s advice on how to get back on a horse, it is as simple as persistance and support from decent people.
“On some level, the vast majority of us don’t actually expect to succeed with our goals and that’s a big part of the problem. We hope but we don’t expect.”
Again the reaction is ‘blame the self’ but surely past progamming as a lot to do with it, we are brought up and rediculed in Australia if we do not succeed we are dole bludgers but if we do we are stuck up. Hence why people would prefer to just get on and have a house in the suburbs of Brisbane/Sydney, mundane lives not treading on toes. I mean why be successful and not liked? I would rather a mate to go out with then 3 million dollars and 100 hour working weeks.
So I think to be it is about balance, a lot of it is choice sure but there is no doubt we are filled up with so many barriers and limitations we do not expect our goals to be reached. Add to the mix the ones that destroy your goals – your peer group (you can’t have him/her universe does not like it), your boss (you will never be ceo), the media (give up swine flu will get you) so why bother.
Having said that, again in perspective, that does no way imply Craig’s list and the others’ wisdom does not work nor am I being negative, I have just come to the realisation that some things do not work nor will they.
One other point, Craig talks about the person who is told they have have cancer so they give up smoking and low and behold they are well again! That is true but also there are tons that receive any illness news and go stuff it i’m partying and die. To me that is equally valid as choosing to live.
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
Well, for me, how do I get back in the ocean after having been dumped by a huge wave & finding my bikini’s completely displaced – all in front of my Dad (which I might add is horrifying for a teenager), on lookers and my laughing sister…. ..well I just pulled up my ‘kini’s, took a big breath and ran back into to the waves!! I couldn’t just stand there, there was no other option – Dad would have chucked me back in anyway
The horse thing, as in life, you fall off, you hurt yourself, you get back on, you patch yourself with hopefully some love and support from those around you. Don’t expect not to fall off the horse or hit sand, as long as there are no permanent injuries incurred, these bumbs, embarrassments & bruises, just makes us stronger, wiser and even a little more compassionate for others
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again?
Pain, fragility, failure are part of the human adventure; who said you have to be superman or Little Ms/Mr Perfect; what you give, is what you will get in return. Love a little, care for others, let them care for you, take a deep breath, be brave and run into the waves again
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours?
Consider what behaviours are acceptable/above the line, consider the behaviours that are unacceptable/below the line. You will feel no joy in life pursuing below the line behaviours; take the easy option choose to behave above the line and life has an amazing of sorting the rest of the ‘stuff’ out
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)?
Professionally, mistakes can cause a life threateing consequence, near misses – well you learn very quickly to not repeat them. Personally, mistakes, tend to end up hurting yourself, someone somewhere, whilst not/hopefully lifethreatening, you have a little more (lee-way ..is that a word?) to consider what has occurred and if you don’t want to feel/cause that pain again than live and learn; not always easy but doable
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done?
They usually have great personal assistants and teams working with them. Surround yourself with people who are for you, love you and give to them what you expect back in return xx
“5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done?
They usually have great personal assistants and teams working with them. Surround yourself with people who are for you, love you and give to them what you expect back in return ”
Good luck in finding them Irenie as I am surrounded by basically good people but with so many issues I feel like i have concrete shoes and thrown into the Brisbane river. Good post BTW too, very insightful yours is.
Dear Anonymous
I can get a jack-hammer for those concrete shoes dear; that might make the difference……. Thanks for your comment – major buzz to get someone commenting back xx Irenie-Jayne