Comments on: Your Turn to Teach (Dealing with Fear)

By: JW,TX

JW,TX — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:19:57 +0000

I resent my older sister an brother who came at end, of my younger sister who died 7-26-09. They came an became greedy an tried to take over my sisters affairs. Now I refuse even talk to them an have changed phone #. I lived with an near my younger sister since 1980. The other two had no right to come at the end of her life. I wanted for it be special if you can call it that when your best friend has died with so much chaos around. I was left out an now I am angry to point I never want to see my family again after all that was conspired. I was her bested friend as she was mine since we were little girls. I trusted no one on this earth as I did with her an she felt the same way. I guess you can say I am still grieving for her.

By: Short Term Pain, Long Term Gain

Short Term Pain, Long Term Gain — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:23:30 +0000

[...] last Thursday’s post I asked you to share with the rest of us how you have dealt with fear over your journey. Being as [...]

By: When Knowing isn’t Doing

When Knowing isn’t Doing — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:01:44 +0000

[...] I’ll announce the book winners (from last Thursday’s post) tomorrow. Sorry about the [...]

By: Alison

Alison — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:48:40 +0000

Hey, who got the prize or three??!

By: Joy

Joy — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 09:19:29 +0000

I know that whenever you give into your fear, you feed it. That is why, this year, at age 41 & 3/4, I’m finishing my first degree, I have a learner’s drivers license for the first time in 22 years, and I met up with a bunch of people from the internet last weekend. I’m tired of fear stealing my life. I’m taking it back. I feel 10 feet tall (some of the time) and having more fun than ever before.
Life’s too short to sit home stewing.

By: AmericanGirl

AmericanGirl — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 05:43:47 +0000

feathers,
You might want to try working through the exercises in the Grief & Loss Recovery Handbook. That should get you to exhale and release it all.

I’m still working on dealing with fear. I think most of my fear is around playing big and not playing small. I’ve variously used Zen beginner’s mind, visualizing, prayer, and positive self-talk. All of them help me.

By: mum of 2

mum of 2 — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:30:22 +0000

Hi Craig,
I find that my biggest fear is not being in control. I would say that being a control freak is my biggest character flaw. Some would say big deal! but since having 2 children I am even more of a control freak. I constantly worry about the way they look (not going out of the house looking feral) what they are eating (I hope they don’t grow up and having food issues and blame me for it) I worry that they don’t brush their teeth enough (they’ll have false teeth because of me) I worry whether they will have a good education and go on to university and have a geat job. I worry whether 2 hours of kids tv is doing damage to them. etc etc
As I am typing this….it even seems ridiculous to me, but I am trying to be less in control and let things go.
I guess my question would be….do all parents suffer from this or am I a complete fruitcake?

By: feathers

feathers — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:58:46 +0000

Dear Craig, up until about a month ago, when asked that question “what are you most afraid of?” I couldn’t have given an honest answer. I really didn’t know. I might have said “big spiders” and left it at that (because who isn’t scared of big spiders?)

Then I got thrown out of a group that was very important to me. I am still friends with most of the members of the group, but I’m not allowed to play the games any more. The shock of this reminded me of how I’d got sacked from a job that had been my life, (back in the early 80s) and how I still (nearly 30 years later) have dreams where my boss tells me it was all a mistake and I can come back now.

The trauma and pain of being told to f- off out of this group was terrible, but I at least learned something new about myself: that my biggest fear is rejection. I finally understand why “banishment” was such a potent punishment.

I don’t know how I’m going to deal with this fear. At the moment I still feel that I am in free-fall, though I’m not bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, like I was when this all first happened. I have tried hiding from this in BLAMs (Big, Loud, Action Movies) and by watching comedy on TV and by going to the gym and by eating ice-cream and by playing stupid games on the internet. Of course none of these things have worked.

I am still in the process of healing, but the main thing I have learned is that bad feelings are just the same as good feelings. They overwhelm you while they are happening, but you can’t keep them. They fade away. Wattle’s in bloom and the daffodils are opening and life goes on and I have to just go on too.

Thanks for listening.

By: Mary W

Mary W — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:38:09 +0000

Im still lurking……..um wait now im not……

By: Letting Go of the Need to be Liked

Letting Go of the Need to be Liked — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:49:23 +0000

[...] I will announce the prize winners from yesterday’s post on [...]