Hi Guys, sorry I’ve been a little scarce this week… I’ve been out and about trying to earn an honest living. Something new for me. 
While being a professional speaker is a fun job, the nature of the industry means that some weeks I will do zero corporate gigs and other weeks I will be on a plane every second day and deliver four presentations to four different companies in three different states. What a great problem to have. Anyhoo…. I hope this finds you well and more importantly, doing what you need to do, to get where you want to go. You know that success ain’t no accident; it’s a choice. So choose wisely Grasshoppers, lose the excuses, identify your non-negotiables and totally commit to your best life. And no, not next Tuesday.
On with today’s post…
Over the last four weeks I have taken up a new sport; Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. And when I say “taken up” I’m really flattering myself and at the same time, insulting martial artists the world over. Watching me roll around on the floor with my teacher Dave is like watching a new born foal – a big, fat un-cordinated foal – trying to take it’s first steps. Ugly. It’s fair to say that Sensei Dave is in no immediate physical danger when I enter the ring. At all. Unless of course, I accidentally fall on him and crush him while he’s not looking. Or he dislocates his own jaw while laughing his arse off at my ineptitude. Which is a distinct possibility. Beyond the laughter, I think he’s secretly impressed with my attitude and endeavour. Then again maybe not. Never one to let an alarming lack of co-ordination, athleticism, fighting skills or flexibility stand in the way of my goals, I’ve grabbed my white belt with both hands. It is indeed a fearsome sight to see me in action. Not. Have you ever seen one of those beetles that gets stuck on its back and then spends forever desperately trying to get back onto its little legs? If I was an insect, I would be such a beetle. With aspirations to become a scorpion.
A scorpion with a bad back. Oh well.
For those of you who have never seen Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, it’s kind of like violent cuddling. If you have issues with your personal space, it definitely ain’t for you. It’s a very technical sport and I like it because it’s as cerebral as it is physical; the thinking man’s (woman’s) martial art. The idea of having to use my brain while I strategically hurt someone appeals to me. Or more accurately; while Sensei Dave hurts me. Sadly, the only person I seem to hurt is me. On the ‘one to ten’ Jiu Jitsu scale, I am a zero. If I was weapon I would be one of those plastic knives they give you on an economy flight. Yep, watch out… I may butter you into submission. I figure that I am so bad, I can only get better. Always finding the good; that’s me. To this point in time, my preliminary research (that is, injuries) suggests that a one hundred kilo (220lbs), forty five year-old body with the flexibility of a ceramic tile is not the ideal weapon to take into the world of Jiu Jitsu. Nonetheless, I’m improving. I’m doing the best I can with what I have. I’m learning new things. Developing new skills. Building a new kind of fitness; one that’s slightly more functional than what comes from lifting heavy stuff. And I’m having a shit-load of fun along the way.
Gold.
Over the years I’ve come to understand that the most effective way for me to keep learning (in all areas of my personal development) is to leave my ego at home, to expose myself to new things, to have an open mind (not to be confused with a weak mind), to embrace discomfort (at times) and to always find the lesson and truth in every situation. Everything I do teaches me something about something. Something about me, something about other people and something about the way the world works. When I grapple with Sensei Dave I don’t care how stupid I look, how unskilled I am or what people think; all I care about is the improvement and the lesson. Sometimes when we grapple, some of my staff stand by the ring (we do most of our training in a boxing ring) and they laugh at how inept the boss is (in a good-natured way). I’m happy to be laughed at, to laugh at myself and to learn at the same time. Over the last four weeks I have learned much and have progressed from completely useless to moderately terrible. My short-term goal is bad and I’m slowly working my way up to mediocre! But then, Sensei Dave’s mediocre would probably be my amazing; It’s all relative isn’t it? See… always finding the good.
In the course of my work I am constantly speaking with people who claim that they want to change their reality for the better but at the same time they are reluctant to get their hands dirty, to make a mistake, to take a chance, look silly, be judged, be vulnerable, try new things or to be less-than-perfect. Wow, what an exhausting, frustrating and unrealistic life philosophy that is. Personally, I’m a big fan of improvement. Perfection…. not so much.
So what about you? What have you learnt lately? And by learnt I don’t mean read, heard or seen, I mean come to understand and/or realise by personal experience. By doing. By getting uncomfortable. By taking a risk. Are you genuinely serious about becoming the new-and-improved version of you, or are you simply a talker, planner and dreamer who is always about to change? Do you consciously and consistently put yourself in situations which will force you to stretch yourself, push your boundaries, explore your potential, learn new truths, gain fresh perspective and become a more empowered and effective person… or are you waiting for the Personal Development Fairy to come knocking on your door? If you’re not sure where to start, you can always slide along to the Harperdome and roll around with the Fat Ninja.
I promise I’ll make you look good
Ciao x
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I’m amused and impressed, both at the same time. And no, I’m not laughing AT you … just at your own self-deprecating descriptions of you. It’s fun to be a fool, isn’t it?
Wanna know how foolish I’ve looked in my martial art? Well, I’ve given myself a black eye … yep, all by myself .. fist into eye socket. Black and green the next day. And no, it wasn’t deliberate! But worse than that … one of the first classes I taught (and I teach kids, mainly) .. I was exerting myself a little too much and farted. Yep, you read right. Farted. Fluffed. Popped off. And loud. My poor kids were in hysterics. All class. Sensei was NOT looking particularly dignified!
Tonight I had a class plan all worked out. Got there to be welcomed by 3 new students – one not even 5 years old, one about 9 and an adult (50 year old woman, who wasn’t impressed about being in a class with a bunch of kids!). I’ve never had a new student before. Someone who knows N-O-T-H-I-N-G about karate. All of a sudden I had 3! Class plan went out the window. I had to wing it, stay animated, keep them motivated, explain and correct their technique but not go overboard, watch the advanced kids as well to offer them some feedback for their improvement .. and even pacify one of my new starters who fell over and lost himself to embarrassed tears. And all from someone who generally steers clear of kids and has NO experience with them! Yep, I’m challenging myself and growing in the process. Scares the crap out of me if I stop to think about it .. so I try not to. NIKE. Just do it.
I was only thinking the other day (when I spent the whole Sunday afternoon helping instruct students through their grading, which happens once a month), how nice it would be to JUST be a karate student. Just to focus on MY training and go when I want .. and not have all the obligations and uncomfortableness (is SO a word!) of being a Sensei. But a split-second later I recognised that I’m doing what I was meant to in this life. So I choose to embrace it. And accept that I’m doing it to the best of my ability right now, but with a view to always be improving.
So, Craig … since you do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I have to ask … how are you finding the waxing??
Suz (Sydney)
Ahh Craigo,
Were you running out of people to hug?? Or, did you scare them all away and now you have to pay someone?
I think perhaps you should sell tickets to your training sessions … I’m sure there’s plenty of you-dot-com-ers who would pay to see the Fat Ninja spectacle!!! That would cover the cost of your hugs.
Although, why call yourself the Fat Ninja?? Doubt you’re fat … big, yeah (duh!), but not fat.
Built-Like-A-Brick-Shithouse Ninja has far too many hyphens and is too clunky (a technical term). But I’m sure others could come up with something more suitable than “Fat”.
How about a comp to rename the Fat Ninja post??
Em
( ) x
Suz – I can’t believe you just told the world you farted. F-u-n-n-y!
Waxing? Yep, I’ve made a booking for the back, crack and sack to be done next Tuesday…
Not
*Too much info?… thought so.
Okay Em… but the new title has to be clever and make me laugh… all at the same time… a training diary for the best suggestion…
BTW… I never run out of people to hug…
So Suz have you ever done Yoga? I went along to a session to see what it was about. The teacher did a “wind release” pose. I can proudly say I was the only one who did it correctly (yes, farted in public) much to the embarrassment of everyone else in the room who couldn’t make eye contact with me after that (and I must say I wasn’t encouraged to sign up for on-going classes either….hmmm).
But in relation to the real post – what have I learnt lately? I’ve learnt that I have a lot of issues I need to work out. I have learnt that one of the strongest reasons I self-sabotage is a fear that my life won’t change. In fact, I think I self-sabotage to rebel against the change – because people have always told me my life would be better (if I lost weight), I would be a great person to be with (if I lost weight), I could achieve so much (if I lost weight). And, even though it is too my own detriment I think I have been unconciously sticking my fingers up at the world to say I can have a great life and achieve things even if I don’t lose weight.
But I have come to realise that my health is not sticking its fingers up at the world. By trying to prove that my weight doesn’t matter, all I have done is harm myself.
So, with the help of some straight shootin’ on this site I am starting my journey (one step at a time!) to change myself for me. NOT because it will change my life, get me a partner or make me more successful – but because I want to be around long enough to annoy all those who think the appearance of the skin is what matters – rather than the person in the skin.
Ghatti.
(Sorry for the long rant – you must have pushed a button somewhere…..) (hugs)
Hi Craig…front row seat please what time should I be there???
This made me laugh, ever thought about taking up stand up comedy????!!!!!
Ok, I have been trying to come up with a name and for some reason I keep thinking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…so…Cowabunga Ninja…I even thought Phat Ninja???? (ok so I am not so good at this lol) I even thought using Em’s idea…BLABS ninja.
The main thing is you are enjoying it and getting the benefit of it as well…good for you!!!
Suza, you crack me up…lessons with you would surely be fun!
Have an awesome day tomorrow!
Hugs
Chelle xxxx
Love the post, Gratti! Anyone with any awareness at all knows that pretty on the outside does not mean fulfilled on the inside. Still, I think we miss out on opportunities because we rebel against the shallow norms society to our own detriment. Sure being thin won’t automatically make us happy, but achieving goals can give us confidence. And this confidence will likely bring more good things our way.
Hi Craig,
Nice Post. Great to see you’re willing to try new things. Keeps life more intersting.
Thanks for continuing to fill my head with good thoughts. I know I need to keep focusing on making good choices, reading inspiring words and being around people who are doing the same. What I have been learning most lately is how frustrating it can be to try and help others make changes in their own lives. As I have lost this weight and continuing to do so, I look pretty dramatically different. Every time I bump into someone I haven’t seen in awhile there is an inevitable conversation about what I have been doing – Did you get your stomach stapled? Have you been seriously ill? How did you lose all that weight? Most people can’t believe that it has been a choice to become thin – physically and mentally. And predictably after that they want to meet with me again and learn about the process of change, becoming thin and really – Life change!
I have been reading your book and blogs for the last year and I can tell how frustrating it can be for you to deal with people who want to talk about weight loss, understand it, get excited about it and then do absolutely nothing but make excuses. Never really realized how true your statements were until I experienced it myself.
I would really love to help others understand what you have been teaching me through your blogs and your book, etc. In fact at least 4 or 5 people I know have purchased your book and read it – but not done anything about it.
I think the biggest thing I am realizing is that many people don’t really want to change – they just want to talk about it to make themselves feel better about not changing.
I will continue to fill my brain with Renewing thoughts, be the change I want to be and focus on helping others that want to do more than just talk about it……. Down 61 kilos, 7 more to go!
Keep up the great inspirations!
- Steve in California
I love how you Ausies say arse for ass!!
Hi Ghatti – you’re absolutely right; your body isn’t who you are, it’s where you live. Having said that, you may as well make it a “nice place” to inhabit.
You can come and laugh at me whenever you like Chelle… Tonight at five thirty, Sensei Dave will be kicking my arse yet again… and again…
Good advice Paul… cheers
Aah you will be safe from the “laughing at” from me…I sadly don’t finish work in Mt Waverley till 5:30……and I forgot to pay the bill on the teleporter. Enjoy your session…I will have a laugh at/with you another time.
hugs again (yup I love hugs too lol)
Chelle xxxx
Hey Steve in Cal.
You’ve nailed it Buddy – people like the “idea” of change more than they do the reality. Don’t allow yourself to get frustrated by people who choose to do nothing with their potential. The only person you can change is you. You can encourage people, advise them, support them and even scream at them but you can’t do the work for them. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help others (of course), but keep in mind that you are a resource (as am I to you), not a solution, and only they can do they work, only they can make the decisions and ony they can make the change. I haven’t changed you one bit. Sure, I’ve educated, poked, prodded, encouraged, challenged and supported you (via my words) but YOU have done all the work and YOU have produced the results. Even though we’ve never met I’m genuinely proud of you and happy for you. Congratulations on doing what most won’t and when you get a chance send me a photo or two. Keep doing what you need to Steve and keep being an inpsiration to the rest of us.
Manhug for you
Hi Mary
Arse, arse, arse.
Just for you
Okey Doke Chelle ((( )))
… Yeah I know … you’d have a veritable line-up of people wanting a “Harper Hug” …
I just re-read your post and was thinking about my own personal development (too tired to be serious last night). While I am making changes in some areas of my life … other areas are lacking. What if you need to make wholesale changes – to almost every area of your life – do you stick with one thing at a time or tackle a few things?
Think I need to read a few more articles from the “library”!
Em
( ) x
BTW: What about Beefy Ninja?
(sorry!)
Yes Craig spot on – I didn’t try things due to being worried about making a mistake. Good post. Manhug please
Craig, should I be embarrassed?? Nah … I fart. Rippers, usually. I can’t believe that with all that other stuff in my post relevant to the questions you asked, it was the FART that grabbed you! Says something about you, bud….
Ghatti – no, I’ve never tried yoga. I had it on my list of things to do, but since I don’t have much trouble with my own “wind release” poses, now I’m too scared to!
Reminds me of that old joke: Why don’t single women fart? Because they don’t have an arsehole yet. *gasp* .. I did NOT just say that!
And yes, thanks for the info about your waxing adventures .. just as I was devouring my raisin toast too. But then, I did ask.
Have a great day, Beefcake Ninja. I guess it’s kinda logical that a hug slut like you would choose a sport that could be described as “extreme cuddling”!
Hugs are healing Em… and who doesn’t want to be healthy?
In answer to your question, prioritise. Aside from your day-to-day responsibilities… focus on doing one or two things well (we’re talking personal development stuff here) rather than fifteen things poorly. I have many goals that are “on hold” for the time being.
And as for Beefy Ninja… nope… sounds like some kind of greasy fast food product
“I’ll have two Beefy Ninjas and a coke thanks”
x
Making mistakes is how we learn Michael… don’t waste that potential of yours!
Big manhug for you
Yep, I cringed when I typed Beefy Ninja too!!!
But Suza’s Beefcake Ninja is pretty good!
Oh, sorry. Thanks for advice. I appreciate it.
x
Craig
Welcome to the wonderful world of Martial Arts. A beautiful journey.
I was thinking about your name (although “Craig” doing MA is perfectly fine for me), Ninja is Japanese and being as though you are doing Brazilian Jujitsu should your other name be.
Brazilian Bear?
How ’bout The Hairy Brazilian Ninja?
Or the Agility-Challenged NInja?
The Un-Co Ninja?
The Beetle Who Dreams of Becoming a Scorpion?
The Hug Slut Goes Extreme?
Hi Craig,
If a Sensei farts in the forest and there’s no-one around, does it still smell?
I’m loving “Two Beefy Ninjas and a coke”? That would be a very happy meal.
Sorry. I”m on holidays and in a very silly mood. I’ve been up half the night with a sick child and a husband panicking about the tsunami warming (our loungeroom is about ten metres from the ocean). What a fizzer.
Very proud of you for being big enough to risk looking silly in order to learn something new. I’ve done a little bit of that recently with my jogging efforts. The strange and unexpected thing is that people usually smile when they see me carting my flabby arse up the hill (ok, gentle slope) near our house. It could be pity or mirth but I choose to interpret it as genuine encouragement. If the worst thing I achieve is making someone else feel good about their body (I provide a good contrast) then that’s ok. I’ll think of it as my charitable effort for the day.
Also liked your comment about striving for improvement rather than perfection. I think I’ll put up a sign to that effect in my classroom for my obsessive-compulsive-over-achieving-shit-scared-of-not-getting-into-medicine students.
Enjoy your session tonight.
Christina xxx
ps Heard you on the radio last Saturday morning. Thought Jane’s sister-in-law’s comments were a bit harsh. Don’t worry, you’re still a dolphin to us.
Thanks Craig
, just wanted to add a couple of things. Re Ghatti
‘I have learnt that one of the strongest reasons I self-sabotage is a fear that my life won’t change. In fact, I think I self-sabotage to rebel against the change – because people have always told me my life would be better (if I lost weight), I would be a great person to be with (if I lost weight), I could achieve so much (if I lost weight).’
I agree with you and I think that is interesting. I’ll give you an example that will be shallow but. I used to fixate on my beer gut *no I don’t drink grog but yes have a bump* and sure enough I was told all these magical things would happen ie relationship, career if I was ‘thin’. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have done diet and exercise work for me and still do. However, I took the emphasis off my gut when I went into social situations. Took the attitude you don’t want to know me based on my gut or how I dress, well ok then.
Well, I am still a large person, but I have more mates now, I walk into eating places without feeling like a pig and although I still feel uncomfortable buying clothes, I still go into the ‘thin’ shops.
Point: yes diet and exercise is important but I learnt that when I put the emphasis on my gut and being rejected for it, sure enough I got people avoiding me. I changed my attitude and yes, I can’t deny being larger you get some discrimination, I have a much better life.
So yes, improvement not perfection is right.
Go Craig!….Go Steve!…
While hanging out waiting for the PD Fairy to turn up (why am I picturing you in a pink tutu?) I’ve been overcoming my terrible social skills by starting conversations with random strangers. Shop assistants, train riders, elevator sharers – no one is safe from my awkward repartee.
Small steps.
Ahh, Christina, Christina. A Sensei’s fart never smells … forest or no forest.
And can I get fries with my two Beefy Ninjas and coke? And upsize it????
Craig,
It’s been a year now since I took up Long Fist Kung Fu. I started at the bottom of the bottom with no clue how to make a fist. And I’ve fought my ego all along. I always wanted to do it, but it took the pain of a bad breakup to make me find a class and all the personal work I was doing got me through the pain of being the lowest student who knew nothing. And who couldn’t remember forms. I had to keep on saying “suck it up” to myself. Sometimes I cried at home. Isn’t it interesting? I felt bad so often but I really liked it. And now I’m actually improving- some minimal improvement happened at the six-month mark, and as I learned what makes me better (um, practice, surprise, and a bit of theoretical knowledge helped too…) I did more of it.
It’s a good metaphor for our other challenges, isn’t it.
Jia-You! (Add ‘gas’! as they say in Chinese)
Well I tried Capoeira a couple of years ago and I got so dizzy I had to lay down on the floor, then went home sick. At least I can say I tried it.
In the past I’ve applied for jobs way beyond my reach in terms of skills or experience and it really showed in the interview as I floundered about miserably. But I tried…even if only to see how far I could get
I tried an acting class and realized that I suck as an actor, and actually slipped and fell on the stage during my “performance”. But I tried…
Tried to learn Cantonese once, and you guessed it…failed, but hey, there are a lot of other things I’ve tried that turned out great! And I’m gonna keep trying new stuff as long as I can.
hmmm…How about:
The Brazilian CheeseCake
The Cheesecake Charger
The Naughty Ninja
Hi Patrol4Me….
I’m lovin’ the “Brazilian Bear”… If only my skills were a reflection of my cool name!
Suz… perhaps… hug slut is getting close…
Thanks Christina… glad I’m not an ugly tuna
Thanks Jacinta
Small steps are way better than no steps Amy… keep it up.
You are my new martial art inspiration American Girl… thanks!
Hi Cdn Friend
“The Naughty Ninja” Too funny.
Something my mother would call me
Hi Craig,
I had to laugh when I read your post because I can understand exactly what it is like to take up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I was painfully educated by a friend that people can indeed be made to look like pretzels.
One thing that I found that was true, not only in the dojo, but also in all walks of life, is that you become much better at what you do by following and learning from those that are better than you.
I am happy to say that I have made a few human pretzels of my own now and I am less susceptible into being made into one myself. Wish you all the best in your training!!
I’m just wondering – wouldn’t he more likely dislocate a sphincter than a jaw, given he’s laughing his *arse* off???
Nice visual though.
That image is just too funny Craig and the posts in here hysterical.
Reminds me of my recent discovery at the gym, the boxing bag (not sure if that is what it is called, the bag hanging from a board). Since I am limited with lower body weights at the moment due to an injury and trying to not to get discouraged I decided to give it a go after getting excited seeing some hot young guys giving it a pummelling. Well after waiting for the room to be empty I snuck in and started boxing at it. Boy it is so much fun except for when you whack the board above. Not so coordinated with my left hand. The next day I felt muscles I had never used before.
The lesson I have learnt is ‘never give up’. Keep finding ways to get what you want.
Please no Personal Development Fairy, I think you would scare people Craig if you turned up in a tutu.
Jac
P.S. How do I get smilies in my posts. They don’t come up in the little box where I type?
ROFL – Agree in part .. three types of people those that just dont want to change – do fine have your life, those that say they want this and arent prepared to work for it, those that change, and then those that do do everything within their power to change action and all and dont have the abilities.. maybe they are dilussional about their capabilties who knows.. personally if I had my life over I wish I could be no 1 not trying and not changing.
What about: The Anti-Whinger Ninja??
No, no wait … what about:
Cheesecake-Binger Ninja
(sick of me yet?)
First time commenter… really enjoy most of your posts~ look forward to growing & improving with you as one of my “coaches” for lack of better word right now.
Enjoy the moments~
BruMo
Tulsa
I’m baaaack!! This is a perfect example of getting ego out of the way and breaking out of the comfort zone. As you say, this is when we learn,change, adapt,and grow.
Dude, Suza’s comments bring a whole new meaning to Mr. Myaggi’s famous words-”wax on, wax off!” You could be known as the”Waxing Ninja” or as a reference to one of your previous jobs, the “Bouncing Ninja.” But after reading “Dear You,” I think from now on, grasshopper, you should be known as the “Ego Warrior.” Great couple of posts!
BJJ is awesome…the best part, if you fart no one thinks it’s the girl!
Hi Craig, great to see you trying something new. I thought about doing something like BJJ to help with my flexibilty (lack of) and grappling tactics/techniques within my job. How are you finding it….?