The Deal of a Lifetime…

Hi Guys. Decided we would take a momentary break from our current series today. Just ‘cos. Thought I’d share this little story from my recent break at the beach house instead. Enjoy your day, do what you need to, stop looking for easy and start doing effective. Group hug from Uncle Craig.

The Tale of the Bulging Disc

Recently I was at my beach house convalescing on my couch with a sore lower back; specifically a bulging disc. Aaah the joy of back pain. Thirty years of lifting heavy weights has taken its toll; especially the first five years when I didn’t actually know what I was doing. But pretended I did. What massive ego? Anyway, there I was floundering like a big injured walrus on my special couch with my security blanket (remote) in my left hand, enjoying one of my fave shows when there was a knock at the door. I considered not answering it but I figured the visitor knew I was home by the sound of the TV, so I slowly and painfully made my way to the front door. Big baby. Am not, you are. There to greet me was a lady with a clipboard who (1) talked way too fast (2) asked me how I was but didn’t actually listen to my answer (3) recited a well-rehearsed script without even looking at me and (4) was desperately trying to sell me on ‘the cable TV deal of a lifetime’. Lucky me.

I’ll Get Back to You

Being the relatively patient person that I am (there’s a post just in that sentence), I stood there in pain (both physical and mental) for three minutes and allowed her to complete her sales pitch; a mindlessly boring monologue. Not particularly interested in the offer, not wanting to make it complex, not wanting to stand there for another minute in pain and not wanting to hurt her feelings, I opted for the old…

“Okay, leave me with some information and if I’m interested, I’ll call you.”

In hindsight, that was my big mistake.

She didn’t leave. Clearly, she wasn’t interested in that option. She was after a sale; a commitment of some kind. Apparently the uber deal was for one day only. Of course it was. And how lucky was I that she came to my house on that day. What are the chances?

“If you need an answer right now, then the answer is no” I said.

The woman’s simulated friendliness started to dissipate a little and the pseudo smile began to look more like a snarl or perhaps a scowl.

“As I said, leave me something to read, I’ll consider it and if I want to pursue it, I’ll contact you.”

Back to the Couch

She wasn’t happy with that outcome. Begrudgingly, she left me a brochure and headed off to share the deal of a lifetime with one of my neighbours. Thank goodness. I slowly made my way back to the afore-mentioned sanctuary and plonked my sore and sorry self onto the world’s most comfortable couch. Bliss. The back pain was just beginning to subside a little when I heard those familiar footsteps back on my porch.

“You’re f***ing kidding me”, I said audibly.

A knock on the door.

“Yes?” (from the couch). The relatively patient person is now being replaced by the relatively irritated bloke with the sore back.

SALES LADY(SL): (from behind the closed door) “Can I speak with you?”
CH: “You already have.”… Aaaah crap. I get up from my favourite couch for the second time in ten minutes. I walk slowly to the door and open it.
CH: “Hello again”
SL: “Sorry, I forgot to get your contact information, can I have your phone number please?”
CH: “No you can’t”
SL: (Not sure what to do or say) “er, I just need it for my records”
CH: “You won’t be getting it”
SL: “Why?”
CH: “Because I choose not to give it to you” (not intending to be rude, just straight forward)
SL: “But I don’t want you to miss out on any deals that we might have coming up” (she wasn’t going down without a fight)
CH: “You don’t want me to miss out? Let’s be honest, you don’t know me or care about me, you just want to make a sale and earn a commission.
SL: (looks shocked)
CH: I understand your desire and motivation to sell me something but don’t under estimate your potential customers intelligence by pretending that you care about them personally. When you ask me for my phone number, you’re making a request and that’s fine. When I decline and you ask why I won’t give it to you, then you’re harassing me and doing yourself and your organisation a disservice. When I say no, you should thank me for my time and walk away.”
SL: “But I just need if for my records.” (clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed)
CH: “I tell you what, you give me your home phone number and I’ll give you mine.”
SL: “Pardon?”
CH: “Yep, I like to get the home phone number of every stranger who comes to my door. Just in case.”

And with that, the rude, pushy lady who didn’t look, listen or pay attention was off. And she didn’t utter one more word to me as she walked away. And I thought she cared. How dare I point out her extremely flawed sales technique and atrocious people skills. I should have simply signed up.

The Lesson?

I’m sure you all know this but just in case you’ve forgotten, I want to remind you that (1) it’s okay to say no to people – wise even, (2) you don’t need to rationalise, justify or explain yourself to everyone – you’re not ten any more, (3) sometimes there’s a fine line between being nice (understanding, patient, caring) and being used, manipulated and disrespected, (4) when all else fails, be brutally blunt and (5) people will only treat you the way you let them.

Have you had an experience like this? What did you learn? Love to hear your thoughts on this topic… even you chronic lurkers. If you’re not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Ciao x